so frustrated!

[yarrmatey]

Hello ladies! Long-time lurker, first-time poster!
I guess I am an "official" LIW... my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now, and we''ve been discussing getting engaged for about a year or so, and actually bought a setting together a few weeks ago. I should be so excited, right?

I am, but I''m also getting worried because he doesn''t seem to want ANY input from me as to what I want in a stone. It''s like once I picked out my setting, he didn''t want my involvement any longer. All he knows at this point is I want a RB. I tried picking some stones out on whiteflash and showing them to him, but he said nicely that it was "his job" to pick out my engagement ring. I didn''t want to pick a fight by telling him "we" already picked out my setting

.

I would also feel better about the whole situation if I knew he was doing ANY actual research on diamonds! As much as I love my hunny, he is very prone to making snap decisions and purchases - which normally work out fine because they are things he has a working knowledge of - but he knows nothing about diamonds. I understand that he wants to surprise me, but I want to make sure he is looking at reputable dealers and knows what to look for in a good stone. I''ve tried showing him this website, showing him whiteflash, just talking to him about the 4 C''s and I''ve been shut down every time.

I wish I could say "He''s probably doing research behind my back and just doesn''t want to let me know...." but I know him, and I know that''s most likely not the case. He says he''s going to run "errands" on Sunday without me (which is very unusual), and at this point, I''m thinking about sending my best friend on a covert op to talk to him to make sure he''s at least paying attention to what he''s buying. Is that too much? I don''t want to ruin his surprise at all, I just want to make sure he''s doing his homework.

Worst case, we bought the setting at a dealer that has a "trade up" policy on stones, and I''m pretty sure he will be going there for the stone as well, so if it''s a hopeless case I can always try and go back once we are "officially" engaged....

Please tell me I''m overreacting. I can''t help but worry. I also know that he''s looking to spend a decent sum of money and I don''t want him to go in uneducated. Has anyone else had this problem?

 

[poptart]

Well put it to him this way... if you were going to buy him an expensive gift that was really important to him, say a high end TV, wouldn''t he want you to have HIS input before buying it?

*M*

 

[lsyama]

Date: 9/20/2007 8:23:52 PM
Author: poptart
Well put it to him this way... if you were going to buy him an expensive gift that was really important to him, say a high end TV, wouldn't he want you to have HIS input before buying it?

*M*

Ditto!

Have you tried directing him to Pricescope?

 

[Rabe2000]

Yarrmatey - You selected the setting together now it's great that he wants to do the diamond on his own. I always wonder when did a proposal turn into a dual project?? Maybe I am old school (Only 29 yrs old) but I am so stuck on my proposal being a secret I believe I know enough about my future fiancé to select a great ring. Of course I didn’t know anything about diamonds but as with any purchase even a Flat Panel TV I had to do my homework...and yes when purchasing a flat panel TV my GF had a say which just as always she wanted it BIG. Ladies let your men do this task.

 

[Independent Gal]

Just write up a page with the parameters for an excellent cut stone, and what you like in terms of colour range and clarity range, and give it to him. Then let him pick. See?