So, just how DO you find an officiant?

[sumbride]

FI and I are getting married in the middle of the bible belt, but we''re both agnostic and want no mention of God in our ceremony. We don''t want a minister or a preacher or any member of the clergy whatsoever. Our parents are actually ok with this and know us well enough to know that''s what we want. I somehow thought that would be the hard part, but no... it''s finding somebody. Secular weddings just aren''t done in my hometown.

We asked my brother to go through ULC and do it but he declined and we can''t think of another friend or family member that we would like to officiate, so I''ve accepted that it has to be a stranger but I just don''t know where to look. I tried googling but most of the listings are for larger cities and the wedding is 3 hours from any big city. I''ve seen the "matching services" but don''t know if that''s a good idea or not. How do you find a judge or another licensed officiant, especially from a distance? Anybody have any credible websites to share?

thanks!

 

[robbie3982]

Have you tried looking in the ULC directory? Here''s the link http://ulc.org/?destination=Directory . Also, have you tried posting on your local knot board?

 

[mercoledi]

In some states there''s a special provision where you can have anyone perform your ceremony as long as they write a letter or something to the governor. You might want to check out the laws in the state you''ll be married in and see who''s able to perform a marraige. It''s likely you''d be able to get a judge/lawyer/sea captain/whatever. There are also JP websites for some states.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 9/14/2006 11:04:24 AM
Author: robbie3982
Have you tried looking in the ULC directory? Here''s the link http://ulc.org/?destination=Directory . Also, have you tried posting on your local knot board?

We don''t have a local knot board. Oddly, the knot only thinks of Texas as Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston and Austin/San Antonio. We don''t even come close. And it ignores Arkansas completely. frustrating! The ArkasnsasBride webpage that Sk8rJen recommended doesn''t seem to have anything on officiants because most people go through their own church I suppose.

 

[sumbride]

hmmm... JP website... will have to check that. thanks!

 

[sumbride]

Date: 9/14/2006 11:04:24 AM
Author: robbie3982
Have you tried looking in the ULC directory? Here''s the link http://ulc.org/?destination=Directory . Also, have you tried posting on your local knot board?

Just checked the ULC directory and couldn''t find anybody within 3 hours of our location. alas.

I did google the jop''s for the county and the photos they have make everybody look so scary! They''re like mug shots! And a couple of the guys have gold front teeth... maybe not the right image for the country club wedding my mom is cooking up.

 

[mercoledi]

Arkansas, huh? I tried to find their requirements for marriage on their website, and it's impossible!

This page has the requirements for obtaining a liscense and a list of the county clerks; it looks like the rules change county-by-county, so your best first step is probably to call the appropriate county clerk.

Hmm.. This page makes it look like only clergy can perform the wedding.

This page at least lists a few judges in Little Rock (There are two pages, hit next at the bottom).

And finally here are two listings for non-denominational services.

I think your best bet is to call the county clerk and get the legal details down, then get back on the phone and find someone you like!

Good luck!

BTW I know that in my area most officiants are happy to travel (sometimes for a nominal fee, sometimes for gas money, etc) so don't discount everyone who's 3 hrs away.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 9/14/2006 11:32:48 AM
Author: mercoledi
Arkansas, huh? I tried to find their requirements for marriage on their website, and it''s impossible!

This page has the requirements for obtaining a liscense and a list of the county clerks; it looks like the rules change county-by-county, so your best first step is probably to call the appropriate county clerk.

Hmm.. This page makes it look like only clergy can perform the wedding.

This page at least lists a few judges in Little Rock (There are two pages, hit next at the bottom).

And finally here are two listings for non-denominational services.

I think your best bet is to call the county clerk and get the legal details down, then get back on the phone and find someone you like!

Good luck!

Thank you! It''s amazing how much the information differs from page to page... even on the fees... one says $58 in cash, another $35 in cash! That''s a big difference when you''re talking cash in hand.

It definitely looks like I''m going to have to call the clerks office!

We''re getting married in Texarkana, AR so sometimes there are people in Texarkana, TX that can legally perform a ceremony but not all of them, but there just doesn''t seem to be any info on Texarkana, AR. I had thought about having the ceremony on the Texas side but the license rules are even weirder there.

We''re visiting in November so I guess I''ll just grab a phone book and start calling people then.

And yes, Texarkana is where the dead pigeons fell out of the sky this weekend...

 

[mercoledi]

Oops! I forgot this one. You can search for officiants here. Good luck! You''ll probably do better when you''re down there to visit, but maybe you can get some leads before you go.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 9/14/2006 12:04:03 PM
Author: mercoledi
Oops! I forgot this one. You can search for officiants here. Good luck! You''ll probably do better when you''re down there to visit, but maybe you can get some leads before you go.

That''s the one I stumbled across yesterday but I didn''t really want to give out my info for them to find the person... wanted to see the people first. Has anybody used a matching service like this for officiants?

 

[decodelighted]

This took us a while too! We just booked last Sunday for Oct 7th! The wonderful lady we eventually found was a Knot Local Board recommendation (she wasn''t listed in the Knot directory - cause get this -- they charge hundreds of dollars a month for those "listings" no wonder there are so few!)

Before that - we''d started calling local city halls and town offices trying to get judge recommendations. Called a couple judges, none were avail ... but it''s a popular weekend ... if you''re calling early & not a holiday weekend ...you''d probably have better luck than we did with that route!!

GOOD LUCKKKKK!!!

 

[sumbride]

Ha, Deco... yeah, we''re still over a year away so hopefully they won''t all be booked yet. Columbus Day is not widely celebrated in the Ark-La-Tex.

My dad knows some judges from Rotary but I think they''re all from Texas. Maybe not. hmm... I don''t know why that just occurred to me. I used to babysit for a Federal Judge''s family, but they moved away. Maybe he''d come back? Ok, feeling a little more hopeful now.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 9/14/2006 11:08:25 AM
Author: mercoledi
In some states there''s a special provision where you can have anyone perform your ceremony as long as they write a letter or something to the governor. You might want to check out the laws in the state you''ll be married in and see who''s able to perform a marraige. It''s likely you''d be able to get a judge/lawyer/sea captain/whatever. There are also JP websites for some states.

Ours was a family friend who is a lawyer. He got appointed by the court for 48 hrs to perform our ceremony. He did a fantastic job.

 

[E B]

Sum,

I went to my local board at theknot.com and asked for recommendations. Several knotties highly praised one officiant in our area, so that''s who we''re hoping to book. I also found my florist and my makeup artist this way.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 9/14/2006 1:15:38 PM
Author: EBree
Sum,

I went to my local board at theknot.com and asked for recommendations. Several knotties highly praised one officiant in our area, so that''s who we''re hoping to book. I also found my florist and my makeup artist this way.

So wish I had that option! Why is it that only big cities get representation? Ok, I know... but still!

I''m a little nervous that we''re going to end up with big hair and pageant makeup.... my northern bridesmaids will hate that! and so will I!