Some advice on ANG for BF

[bubbly1126]

BF and I were sitting down watching tv last night and we see a commercial for the Airforce. He tells me he''s been thinking about ''that'' all day. To which I replied, what? ''Flying a plane'' he says. Those three words sparked a discussion yet again about joining either the Coast Guard (I think I posted about this once before on here) or the Air National Guard.

I never knew he was so serious about it. Not that it particularly bothers me. I told him I supported him but that I didn''t want him going to war (please don''t flame me for this!) and I didn''t want him to be gone for more than 6 months at a time. Don''t get me wrong, I think people who go so long without seeing their significant other are so strong but it''s just not for me. I don''t want that kind of relationship. And I think after being together for 5 years and seeing each other every day for those 5 years that it will be extra hard on our relationship. (Or some could argue that since we''ve been together so long it would be a piece of cake for us.) Who knows what the real outcome would be? I just know that at this point in my life I''m not in a position that I would be okay with not seeing my BF for such a long period of time. Especially when I want to get married and have children within the next 4-5.

Granted, he wants to do it part time, so the most he''ll be gone at one time is 6 weeks for basic training. It also depends on what he chooses as a career with them as well. But as he said, we''ll cross that bridge if/when we come to it. What makes it somewhat easier is that we actually live 20 min from a Air National Guard Base. But he has also said that he doesn''t want to go into a LDR and compromising his relationship with me over this is not an option. This is clearly just something that he''d ''like'' to do and is not something he is ''dead set'' on doing.

I had originally said (a little jokingly) that if he joined [the coast guard] that I wanted to get married now. So last night after telling him all my stipulations on it, I got up to get him a cup of tea and I said, ''and don''t worry babe, i won''t make you marry me, if you do decided to join'' in a playful tone. He replied "Oh stop it hun, it really wouldn''t be that bad, ya know" [to have to marry me] and gives me a wink. lol. He''s too cute. So maybe if he goes through with this whole thing we''ll get engaged sooner! Hehe. Who knows?!?!

All in all, there are pros and cons to all of these things but no matter what, I support him.

Any of you ever been in the Air Force or Air National Guard or know anyone who has? What would you say are the pro/cons of it? Am I being too lenient on him joining in this time of conflict? Or vice versa?

And advice or anything would help! He''s making a call to a recruiter today and I''m so nervous. Ahh.

 

[KED75]

I''m really more of a lurker than anything else - but I was an Air Force officer for four years. It''s a HUGE commitment, as I am sure you can both appreciate. I (probably obviously) think the military is a great choice for many people, but it is definitely not for everyone. There are a whole lot of people in the National Guard and Reserves right now who thought they wouldn''t be away from home, or that they would primarily be used to deal with stateside issues. And, as we all know, many of them have been in various overseas locations for months, and sometimes years, on end.

I am a lawyer now, and during law school I had a couple of friends considering joining the military to be attorneys (because they thought they wouldn''t get sent to war....uh...wrong!). The advice that I gave them, and that I would give anyone, is that the military is a complete and total life and lifestyle commitment. If they say "you go", you go. If they say "you do this", you do it. If they say "wear this" or "weigh this much" or "run this far", you wear or diet or run.

If your boyfriend is not absolutely sure that he would answer the call, whatever it may be (18 months in Iraq or Afghanistan? Hurricane relief in Louisiana? Typhoon relief in Indonesia?), he should probably hold off until you can both be sure that you understand and are willing to undertake everything that being in the military, even "part-time", means. Once you are in, no matter what career field, you are a Soldier, Sailor, Airman or Marine first and foremost. Everyone has a wartime job, and no one is safe from being sent into conflict - and I think we''ve all seen that now more than ever.

The day I took my Oath of Office is one of the most life-changing days of my life...and I come from a long line of military people, so I probably intellectually understood what I was getting myself into even if I didn''t emotionally understand it until later.

Anyway, I don''t know if that helps or not. It''s huge...I hope you guys are able to decide what''s right for you. Best of luck.

 

[SparklyGirl*]

Maye that is why he has been holding out from talking about the future and engagement... because he is unsure of where you both will be, location wise. yes there are possibilities that you two could be away from each other for a long time and that he could be sent off to a different country. I am sure that if you really didnt want him to that he would understand if he is adamant on marrying you and truly values how you feel. He may want to really do it, but if you two are going to be married you have to value each others feelings too, not just how much he really wants to do it and you really dont want him to, etc. Good luck and talk to him about whether or not you like the idea and how that decision will have an effect on the two of you for your future. in the end i am sure that it will work out and that you two will find the answer that is right for the both of you.