some advice please

[Schafenm]

Ok so here is the deal. Our ring is done and sitting in a safety deposit box until SO is ready to propose. I haven't seen the final product yet, but since I helped picked it out I have an idea of what it looks like. Our original timeline is my birthday which is in April, so he has some room to play with in regards of the proposal. The thing is I just booked a trip to Kansas City where I lived for a few years to see old friends in January. I want to move the timeline to then because I do not get to see these friends very often and want them to see my ring. I know if he doesn't propose for January I won't be mad, because I did originally say April. I was just wondering if you ladies think I should bring it up that I would like to have the ring for my trip, or if I should leave it alone and just let him plan?

 

[LJL]

I think I would maybe make a slight offhanded comment but ...like you said... no way to know what hes already started planning (maybe hes gonna do v-day or something else?) so I wouldnt push it too hard. All the same, if you dont tell him, he may not even think of it. All you can do is let him know gently.

...I can relate since SO and I will be seeing our college friends later this month and I really wanted to have the ring by then. Fortunately for SO, its not him thats holding up the process, its the fact that the ring isnt DONE. Doesnt that suck though that you see those people so rarely? Maybe you can try to plan another trip over the summer or something to show them? I have already told myself that our friends will just have to wait until April to see my ring since thats the next time I will see them.

 

[audball]

*hugs* Like LJL said, maybe throw it out there very casually, like "I can't wait to see XX in Janurary! It would be SO great to share engagement news with them in person!" Just very lighthearted. Definitely let him hear you, but don't make it a pushy thing. If he's listening, it'll at least put the bug in his ear that you'd like to be engaged before your trip.

If he has something planned for after that, though, you could potentially change the course of his current plans, if that's something you're okay with, proceed!

I know kind of how you feel, too. My people aren't that far away, but I still only see them a few times a year. I've also always dreamed of a Christmastime proposal, it's just my favorite time of the year! Both of our birthdays are in December as well AND Andrew graduates on December 15th. We're planning a trip to celebrate all that after he graduates and before Christmas. I can't help but think it would be PERFECT timing to have a few days to ourselves, be all Christmasy and THEN be able to share with both of our families at the holiday get togethers. Our timeline is by the end of our first year living together (end of next July) so like you, I can't be upset if he doesn't do it.

It's tough, all you can do is hint that it's what you want if you really do and let him make the plans.

 

[Schafenm]

LJL and Aud,

Thanks for the advice. I took it and just kind of slyly said, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if I could show all my friends the ring we designed when I go to Kansas?"

He just looked at me and smiled and kept the conversation moving. If you knew him, that means at least he heard me and probably if it doesn't derail his ideas he has already made he might consider it. HAHA So now we wait and see.

**Dust** to you Audball that you get a very beautiful xmas proposal with all the light and magic that is Christmas time!!

 

[audball]

LJL and Aud,

Thanks for the advice. I took it and just kind of slyly said, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if I could show all my friends the ring we designed when I go to Kansas?"

He just looked at me and smiled and kept the conversation moving. If you knew him, that means at least he heard me and probably if it doesn't derail his ideas he has already made he might consider it. HAHA So now we wait and see.

**Dust** to you Audball that you get a very beautiful xmas proposal with all the light and magic that is Christmas time!!

Sneaky! It seems that he was receptive of it at least. If he knows you well (and I presume he does) he certainly knew that it's what you would have hoped for/wanted. I hope it was already in his plans but if not at least you put the bug in his ear!

And thanks! Andrew has said some things that make me think he's making plans for Christmastime...but I'm trying not to get my hopes up.