Someone violated the secret code to regifting

[Munchkin]

I find the whole thing kind of funny, honestly.

At a recent shower with FI's side, I received an incredibly generous gift of a full set of pots and pans. They were from a store we were registered at. However, the set we had registered for had been given to us months ago by FI's brother. The set I was given at the shower was a completely different set. I thought it was odd that she had shopped where we were registered and opted to get something so similar to that which we had already been given, but whatever. It was still very generous. Attached to the wrapping was a cute little favor pouch type thingy. I started to open it and she said "Oh that's nothing you don't have to open that now." So, I stopped.

When I was home a few days later I opened the pouch. Inside were 5 jordan almonds. (I'm allergic to almonds, which makes it even more ironic, but I am sure she wasn't aware of that.) Within the almonds was a piece of paper that read "notmyname's shower 6.16.2006"

I started laughing. I suspect the whole gift may have been regifted,or she may have just added a favor from someone else's shower (over a year ago!) as a decorative wrapping element...but regifting laws were definitely violated!

Oh, and because there is no gift receipt and this set was never on our registry, I'm not sure we can return them.

ETA: I knew where they were purchased because the store had placed tape with their logo on it onto one side of the box to create a handle.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Oh well.......happy cooking!!

cheers--Sharon

 

[risingsun]

Oh my...she was caught in the act. I''m glad you have a sense of humor about it

 

[door knob solitaire]

Oh dear...

My hat is off to you

as you are laughing! You're quite an lady! You never once said you weren't ever talking to her again...or how rude...you just laughed.

I bet you can return them for credit...tell the manager you will spend $$$ added to it to get the _____ that you didnt' get. The clerk may not have an vested interest in my $$ from you, but more than likely the manager can see the gain in more purchases from you.

If the almond pouch was actually valid and attached to the box last year...eeeuuuu! 6 almonds...I wonder if that was the original count looking at the date with all the 6's. After a year in a closet...those almonds are toxic now!! Not only was there a regift faux paux but an actual attempt to poision you!! Ha Ha. Lets hope there isn't another shower/wedding mentioned inside the box say on an insert card. That would really be something that the new purchaser finds out the distance these pots and pans went to.

Is there away to run a check on a registry a year later? Can you find out if those were purchased for the wedding indicated on the paper? Oh...that is terrible. I shouldn't coach you into that. You are dealing with it with character! Laughing with you!

DKS

PS...If you have no luck in the exchange....there is something about that set that needs to stay in the gifting mode. Remove the almonds and place the box in the bottom of your closet...you may need a wedding gift soon!!

 

[Mara]

am i missing something? someone gave an 'incredibly generous gift' that wasn't on your registry and just because it was a gift to her from someone else doesn't mean it's any less generous. she could have sold them on ebay to get cash if that was what she wanted to do (and what you could easily do if you wanted!) but instead she decided to give you the gift, probably hoping you might get some great use out of it. typically i can't imagine that someone would just frivolously re-gift a $300-500 set of pots and pans (just estimating here based on what you said and knowing about how much these sets can cost) without thinking 'oh maybe they could really use this and i can't'.

i just felt confused by some of the comments that alluded to the fact that you might actually be insulted about this rather than like 'thanks for the gift' (since a gift is still a gift!). i personally don't have any sort of mental etiquette about re-gifting...(yeah take the almonds off though haha), because if i can't use something then i would love to give it to someone else who could. we got 2 asparagus steaming pots when we got married and i meant to return the other one but never did. my good friend just got married and she put the slightly larger version on her registry, i thought oh i can just give her this 2nd one we have even though it's smaller. it wasn't going to be my actual gift to her but more like a 'supplemental' thing. i haven't gotten around to it (this is how i ended up with 2 three years later still, i am so forgetful)...but hopefully i will soon and hopefully she'll be like THANKS we didn't get that and we can use it. hehee.

if you really can't use the set i'd either try to return it to the store for 'credit' (stores like CB or WS will probably do this...and credit at one of these stores is nothing to scoff at right?!) or sell the set on ebay and get cash to use towards your other registry items. either way, the regift is still a generous thing as you mentioned, so i'd write a fabulous thank you card!

 

[londonblue]

actually, something similar to this happened to one of our wedding registry gifts.

is it possible that the item they bought at the store was a returned gift from someone else's shower?

we had a registry gift that we opened and it included a little note that said "from etc, etc, and etc's family" - and it was obviously no one we knew at all. At first we thought maybe it was a gift our friend did not want but then the date on the card was all wrong as well. So I figured that it must have been a previously returned registry item at the store (probably bought online, thus the inserted card) and the previous owners just forgot the card in there.

Funny thing is, we returned it as well and I just realized we forgot to remove that card lol

 

[Munchkin]

Mara: I wrote the thank you the next day.

I wrote about this because the whole situation was just weird/funny. The name in the favor wasn't hers or her daughter's, so I have no idea who the almonds (and possibly the pots) initially came from. I certainly don't have a problem with regifting, but don't make it obvious that you are doing so. That was why I posted. If the pots weren't regifted then it was almost more odd, as she shopped where we were registered but didn't check the registry.

London Blue: I thought of that, but I would think Macy's would have taken the pouch off since it was attached to the outside of the box. I spit out water laughing at your last line!

 

[Mara]

munchkin, good for sending the TY...and my post was not really to you but more in general to anyone who might think you should be insulted that someone gave you something so generous. i get the re-gifting thing as being kinda odd (kinda funny really) but i don''t know if i''d be insulted...okay IF someone gave me something i had given to them, yes...hehee.

 

[Pandora II]

Lol, reminds me of an xmas gift my dad got one year.

He''s a GP and tends to get given a lot of presents by "grateful patients" each year. We all eat all the chocs, but one household only needs so many bottles of whisky! He also worked a day a week at the local hospital (he was an opthamologist and likes to keep his hand in a bit), so he took the bottle in as a gift for a colleague. This particular bottle had a distinctive mark on the label (not so you''d really notice but it definitely identified this bottle).

Anyhow, he got the same bottle back 3 times that year!

Personally I have a draw full of gifts that I don''t need/want and feel it''s fine to regift - though I try to not give them to the original donors or leave old gift tags on!

 

[door knob solitaire]

Munchkin,

I knew you weren't insulting the gift, as your first sentence pointed out that it was an INCREDIBLY GENEROUS GIFT. I don't think that was the point at all.

What I found funny or odd or strange or a faux paux was that the giver seemed not to put much attention into the REGIFT or gift because she left some evidence still attached that it was not originally intended for you.

To take it further...I agree with you that since you had p&p on your registry...and they had already been purchased for you...months before your shower...a little more effort set forth by the giver would have deemed the p&p gift or regift to YOU...REDONDANT. Unless of course she knew you needed a set for your summer house.

I got the just of your intention...the regift thing is NOT THE ISSUE here. You were grateful for the gift.

To throw some credit to the giver...it is possible that the purchase of P&P from your registry wasn't actually registered, when she checked... And knowing you wanted p&p she thought this brand/model was far superior than your choice. But the fact that she felt obligated to tell you NOT TO WORRY ABOUT opening the pouch at that time...would pretty much tell you she knew it was only almonds. I think I would be intrigued by something I was giving that I didn't know what it included...you know a secret toy suprise?

DKS

Oh I correct my original post...I read 6 almonds...there were only 5? Hmmm...chinzy on the almond count. Whether you have an allergy or not...5 don't do you any good. Just enough to make you want more...but there are no more...there are only FIVE.

 

[monarch64]

LOL! I think that story is hilarious, I do feel sorry for the gifter, she must''ve been a little embarrassed realizing the shower favor was still attached if not intentionally to the gift. I''m glad you saw the humor in the situation, and yay for getting a great and useful gift anyway!