ellewoods
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2005
- Messages
- 328
Hello everyone!
I haven''t been around much lately because I''ve been crazy busy with finishing school and job searching. Lots of great developments are happening and I''m excited for the good things to come (a new job, moving back to where my BF is)....but I''m also really nervous now that I think the proposal might be very soon.
Just to recap, my BF and I are long distance and have been together for many years. Last week he was with a bunch of our college friends, and he called many times to say hi and I got to talk to some of our friends too. They had been out partying all weekend so they had been drinking and BF was being really cute on the phone, telling me he missed me, that everyone was asking when we were getting engaged (which has been the usual inquiry the last couple years). But then BF said he''s been telling people. we''ll be engaged....NEXT MONTH!
We''ve discussed engagment and rings and I felt like the proposal might occur sometime this summer but it was shocking to hear him say next month. I was happy at first, but then I was totally scared -- anyone else feel like this about getting engaged? Part of me feels like I''m not "adult enough" yet (since I''ve been in grad school so long) but I''ll start working soon and its definitely time for us to start our adult life together.
Also, I felt weird that he kind of ruined the surprise. I say weird because I didn''t feel mad, or sad, or annoyed....but just weird somehow. It''s cute he was excited about it but because I''ve known it would probably happen this summer, I don''t want to know anything more because I want it to be a surprise. Now its not quite a surprise?
I haven''t said anything to him about what he said, although I am pretty sure he remembers saying it. We''ve been discussing my various job offers lately and I just made the really difficult decision to decline one of my top choices because it''s in another state than he''s in and he doesn''t want to move. He was saying it was a great job but we also want to start out adult lives, get engaged, etc. and being long distance again wouldn''t work with that. Logically I know that''s true, but I was/am still really sad about not being able to take the job. When I declined the job, I explained that my circumstances had changed b/c I had gotten engaged and so I wouldn''t be living in that city because its not possible for BF to transfer. I felt really awful lying (since I''m not engaged yet, and it felt super weird to say "engaged")....but that''s basically the scenario and I felt it was a honest explanation more so than "I don''t want to live apart from my BF" because our situation is obviously more serious than that.
I have a couple job offers where he is located too, thankfully, but that particular one was awesome. But relationships are about compromise, its time to concentrate more on my personal life now that many years of school are almost over. I feel better declining the job since we will be engaged soon (if he was telling the truth!), because I would have taken the job if it wasn''t going to happen soon. But is it bad to feel like I would have taken the job in an instant if it weren''t for BF? I know that sounds horrible but its about the job, not him. And the place he lives is awesome in many ways, but I guess its just hard knowing that one path is gone now, you know?
Anyway, thanks for listening. I''m excited but still nervous, and I feel like I''m going to be expecting a proposal anytime he acts out of the ordinary!
After 7 years, is is OK to feel nervous and scared about this? It''s something we knew would happen eventually when the time was right, but now that it may happen soon, its kind of surreal.
I haven''t been around much lately because I''ve been crazy busy with finishing school and job searching. Lots of great developments are happening and I''m excited for the good things to come (a new job, moving back to where my BF is)....but I''m also really nervous now that I think the proposal might be very soon.
Just to recap, my BF and I are long distance and have been together for many years. Last week he was with a bunch of our college friends, and he called many times to say hi and I got to talk to some of our friends too. They had been out partying all weekend so they had been drinking and BF was being really cute on the phone, telling me he missed me, that everyone was asking when we were getting engaged (which has been the usual inquiry the last couple years). But then BF said he''s been telling people. we''ll be engaged....NEXT MONTH!
We''ve discussed engagment and rings and I felt like the proposal might occur sometime this summer but it was shocking to hear him say next month. I was happy at first, but then I was totally scared -- anyone else feel like this about getting engaged? Part of me feels like I''m not "adult enough" yet (since I''ve been in grad school so long) but I''ll start working soon and its definitely time for us to start our adult life together.
Also, I felt weird that he kind of ruined the surprise. I say weird because I didn''t feel mad, or sad, or annoyed....but just weird somehow. It''s cute he was excited about it but because I''ve known it would probably happen this summer, I don''t want to know anything more because I want it to be a surprise. Now its not quite a surprise?
I haven''t said anything to him about what he said, although I am pretty sure he remembers saying it. We''ve been discussing my various job offers lately and I just made the really difficult decision to decline one of my top choices because it''s in another state than he''s in and he doesn''t want to move. He was saying it was a great job but we also want to start out adult lives, get engaged, etc. and being long distance again wouldn''t work with that. Logically I know that''s true, but I was/am still really sad about not being able to take the job. When I declined the job, I explained that my circumstances had changed b/c I had gotten engaged and so I wouldn''t be living in that city because its not possible for BF to transfer. I felt really awful lying (since I''m not engaged yet, and it felt super weird to say "engaged")....but that''s basically the scenario and I felt it was a honest explanation more so than "I don''t want to live apart from my BF" because our situation is obviously more serious than that.
I have a couple job offers where he is located too, thankfully, but that particular one was awesome. But relationships are about compromise, its time to concentrate more on my personal life now that many years of school are almost over. I feel better declining the job since we will be engaged soon (if he was telling the truth!), because I would have taken the job if it wasn''t going to happen soon. But is it bad to feel like I would have taken the job in an instant if it weren''t for BF? I know that sounds horrible but its about the job, not him. And the place he lives is awesome in many ways, but I guess its just hard knowing that one path is gone now, you know?
Anyway, thanks for listening. I''m excited but still nervous, and I feel like I''m going to be expecting a proposal anytime he acts out of the ordinary!
300x240.png)