sorry just one more quick vent about something else and then im done i swear

[Smurfysmiles]

one more quick vent...
the mother of our flowergirl and a good friend of mine has decided that the night of the bachelorette party would be the best night to host a beer pong party and essentially invite everyone on our list of bachelorette party friends...she decided to do this today and put up a big thing about it online just because it "sounded like fun"

i''m sorry but i had to vent on here because i knew i would probably say something irl and regret it...k thanks

 

[sunnyd]

NM, read it wrong.

 

[NuggetBrain]

....what the hell? Does she not own a calendar? What a crappy thing to do, I''m so sorry. Do you know if any of the girls are actually planning on going to the beer pong party instead of your bachelorette? I would mention in passing "Hey, I saw your thing about the beer pong party. That sounds fun and I wish I could go, but that''s the same night as my bachelorette party."

 

[NuggetBrain]

Also, maybe your MOH or one of the bridesmaids could say something to her if you don't want to? I know my MOH would have verbally ripped her a new one (unless she just forgot about the party. Which, if you invited her, is doubtful).

 

[Smurfysmiles]

As far as I know none of them are going but i did get 6 no''s and they didn''t say why so I guess I really couldn''t tell. I''m not going to ask them either but I do think it''s kind of a mean thing to do....

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 7/10/2009 5:28:38 PM
Author: NuggetBrain
Also, maybe your MOH or one of the bridesmaids could say something to her if you don''t want to? I know my MOH would have verbally ripped her a new one (unless she just forgot about the party. Which, if you invited her, is doubtful).

It''s impossible, 2 days ago she said to put her down for a maybe and if she didn''t have anything going on she would come, I pretty much just put her down mentally as a no at that point. Some people just don''t have any class...

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Not to sound unsympathetic...but...

Maybe these people just don''t want to go to your parties. Maybe they aren''t the friends you though they were?

I''m only saying this because everything anyone has ever suggested to you about these ongoing situations you''re having, you shoot down. So, I''m left wondering if maybe, at the root of everything, they''ve changed and they aren''t into it anymore and you''re just the last to know.

I honestly cannot think of any other reason (that you haven''t previously shot down) that could explain this away. I mean, at this point, everyone you know is causing you problems.

 

[whitby_2773]

smurfy - just to clarify...

how many people have you invited to your bachelorette party? i thought they were normally a small kind of affair, so 6 no''s sounds suspiciously like a lot. how many invites did you send out? if you invited 60 people - no biggie. but if you invited 15...hmmmm....

 

[Smurfysmiles]

touche italia. I''m finding out tonight if she got the flowergirl dress. If she didn''t, she''s out of the wedding. She never talks to me anymore at all and we are definitely drifting apart. If she has gotten the dress, I''ll reimburse her for the money she spent and she''s still out of the wedding.

Oh and I just found out a groomsmen has had to drop out of the wedding due to not being able to get out of certain duties with the army. I understand, but it is a bit of a bummer. now we have 6 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen...

 

[whitby_2773]

one other thing -

i''m not often in BWW, so you''ve probably posted this and i havent seen it...but when are you getting married? i''m just wondering how close to the wedding date your bachelorette party is and if it''s all part of a ''run up'' to the wedding.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 7/10/2009 5:43:13 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
touche italia. I''m finding out tonight if she got the flowergirl dress. If she didn''t, she''s out of the wedding. She never talks to me anymore at all and we are definitely drifting apart. If she has gotten the dress, I''ll reimburse her for the money she spent and she''s still out of the wedding.

Oh and I just found out a groomsmen has had to drop out of the wedding due to not being able to get out of certain duties with the army. I understand, but it is a bit of a bummer. now we have 6 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen...

Atta girl! Now you''ve got the right attitude. If these girls aren''t adding to your life, then they are taking away from it. Why continue that farce? Rather than waiting for others to make decisions for you, make them for yourself.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

whitby- our wedding is in november. we live 14 hours away and this is the only time we''re home in 1 years time before the wedding so its the only time to have a bachelorette party so its not like im crowding up all their time

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 7/10/2009 5:32:24 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 7/10/2009 5:28:38 PM

Author: NuggetBrain

Also, maybe your MOH or one of the bridesmaids could say something to her if you don''t want to? I know my MOH would have verbally ripped her a new one (unless she just forgot about the party. Which, if you invited her, is doubtful).

It''s impossible, 2 days ago she said to put her down for a maybe and if she didn''t have anything going on she would come, I pretty much just put her down mentally as a no at that point. Some people just don''t have any class...

I think someone throwing a beer pong party when they have a child should have been your first clue here.

 

[VRBeauty]

Am I understanding this correctly? Someone who was invited to your bachelorette party has decided to throw a beer party for the same night? And.. I understand that she''s the flower girl''s mother, but is she also one of your bridesmaids?

 

[decodelighted]

Smurfy ... these women are not your friends. You moved away, they moved on. You think things are the same. They are angry with you and acting out in various obnoxious ways.

People grow apart. Friendships end. Its a rare friendship that can survive a 14hr move where you see the person 1x a year or less. No matter if one of the people is getting married or not. Sure its a bummer for you because all of this is playing out against the backdrop of your wedding -- HOWEVER, maybe its better to find all this out in JULY so you''ve adjusted to the new reality long before your NOVEMBER wedding.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

we invited 12 girls counted myself to the party. we have 6 nos. 6 yes''s. the girl throwing the beer pong party is the flowergirl''s mother but not a bridesmaid. however, after tonight i do not think she will be mother of the flower girl anymore because we are going to tell them we have grown apart and would like to have a family member be in the bridal party as a flower girl instead.

 

[VRBeauty]

I''m sorry that your trip home and the pre-wedding events are not going as planned. I have no advice to offer, but I hope you''ll be able to enjoy the shower, and the company of the friends that do show up at your b''party, in spite of the these other things that are going on.

 

[Porridge]

Wow smurfy are you sure about that? I know the mother is being mean, but little girls get so excited about wearing pretty dresses and being part of things like weddings. If she doesn''t know yet or if she''s too young to even understand she''s in a wedding then I guess it''s ok. But don''t punish a little girl because of what her mum is doing.

Sorry about everyone else''s bad behaviour, I don''t have anything more to add onto what everyone else has said. Just enjoy a fabulous night with your real friends.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 7/10/2009 7:36:22 PM
Author: Porridge
Wow smurfy are you sure about that? I know the mother is being mean, but little girls get so excited about wearing pretty dresses and being part of things like weddings. If she doesn''t know yet or if she''s too young to even understand she''s in a wedding then I guess it''s ok. But don''t punish a little girl because of what her mum is doing.


Sorry about everyone else''s bad behaviour, I don''t have anything more to add onto what everyone else has said. Just enjoy a fabulous night with your real friends.

If she was older I wouldn''t have even thought about it because I remember how excited I was when I was little girl to be one but she just turned 2 years old and hasn''t even been to a wedding yet so she really won''t know what she''s missing out on..

 

[cocolaw]

ladypirate LOL! TRUE THAT!

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 7/10/2009 6:19:25 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 7/10/2009 5:32:24 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 7/10/2009 5:28:38 PM

Author: NuggetBrain

Also, maybe your MOH or one of the bridesmaids could say something to her if you don't want to? I know my MOH would have verbally ripped her a new one (unless she just forgot about the party. Which, if you invited her, is doubtful).

It's impossible, 2 days ago she said to put her down for a maybe and if she didn't have anything going on she would come, I pretty much just put her down mentally as a no at that point. Some people just don't have any class...

I think someone throwing a beer pong party when they have a child should have been your first clue here.

Oh, Snap

ETA: Smurfy, Keep your chin up.. Weddings, funerals etc. really show you who your true friends are- when this is all said and done atleast you will know who you can really call a friend

 

[Smurfysmiles]

yeah it''s just not very fun being in the process of finding out...also...tomorrow we are asking fi''s cousin to be a flower girl very excited a family can be involved that cares about us and vice versa!

 

[Blair138]

I''m really sorry Smurfy...people suck. Everyone says it, but it is true, weddings bring out the worst in people and you really do find out who your true friends are. I have some pretty awesome friends who have reaffirmed this in the past few days and they are what helps me get through the crap.

You are not the only one this happens too, just keep that in mind, I can empathize with ya!

 

[cocolaw]

it sounds like you are dealing with all of this with a positive attitude and i commend you for that!

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 7/10/2009 6:37:49 PM
Author: decodelighted
Smurfy ... these women are not your friends. You moved away, they moved on. You think things are the same. They are angry with you and acting out in various obnoxious ways.


People grow apart. Friendships end. Its a rare friendship that can survive a 14hr move where you see the person 1x a year or less. No matter if one of the people is getting married or not. Sure its a bummer for you because all of this is playing out against the backdrop of your wedding -- HOWEVER, maybe its better to find all this out in JULY so you''ve adjusted to the new reality long before your NOVEMBER wedding.

i have to ditto this.

friends don''t act like this. friends are there for big life cycle events. i think time has gotten the better of you (not sure how long you''ve been away from home, but i''m guessing a couple of years). have all four bridesmaids committed to going to the bachelorette party? frankly, if people are dropping like flies, i''d be rethinking who was in my bridal party right across the board....

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 7/11/2009 12:47:55 AM
Author: whitby_2773

Date: 7/10/2009 6:37:49 PM

Author: decodelighted

Smurfy ... these women are not your friends. You moved away, they moved on. You think things are the same. They are angry with you and acting out in various obnoxious ways.



People grow apart. Friendships end. Its a rare friendship that can survive a 14hr move where you see the person 1x a year or less. No matter if one of the people is getting married or not. Sure its a bummer for you because all of this is playing out against the backdrop of your wedding -- HOWEVER, maybe its better to find all this out in JULY so you''ve adjusted to the new reality long before your NOVEMBER wedding.

i think time has gotten the better of you (not sure how long you''ve been away from home, but i''m guessing a couple of years).

ive only been gone 6 months

 

[honey22]

Sweetie, these people are not your friends!!!!! Not if they are treating you this way. Get rid of them, you don''t need toxic people in your life. Enjoy your night with your friends that do turn up, these are your real friends and the one''s that care about you.

Hope you have a great night anyway, don''t let these people drag you down. It''s their loss if they miss out!

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 7/11/2009 5:13:03 AM
Author: honey22
Sweetie, these people are not your friends!!!!! Not if they are treating you this way. Get rid of them, you don''t need toxic people in your life. Enjoy your night with your friends that do turn up, these are your real friends and the one''s that care about you.

Hope you have a great night anyway, don''t let these people drag you down. It''s their loss if they miss out!

here here

 

[Haven]

Date: 7/11/2009 4:06:28 PM
Author: ckrickett

Date: 7/11/2009 5:13:03 AM
Author: honey22
Sweetie, these people are not your friends!!!!! Not if they are treating you this way. Get rid of them, you don''t need toxic people in your life. Enjoy your night with your friends that do turn up, these are your real friends and the one''s that care about you.

Hope you have a great night anyway, don''t let these people drag you down. It''s their loss if they miss out!

here here

Thritto.

Smurfy, I''m sorry these people are doing this to you.
Here''s to moving on and finding real, quality friends!