Sound off: Elopements followed by receptions

[trillionaire]

how would you feel if your friend or family member eloped, then invited you to a reception/party to celebrate their union?

Would you be upset, or offended?

Would you be less inclined to attend?

What are your thoughts?

 

[ficklefaye]

i wouldn''t have a problem with this, i''ve always thought of the ceremony as more of a moment for the couple anyway, the reception is always for the guests because you feed and entertain them

honestly, most weddings i''ve been to, i''ve been late and actually missed the ceremony itself, i know it''s bad

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/29/2009 1:13:20 AM
Author: ficklefaye
i wouldn''t have a problem with this, i''ve always thought of the ceremony as more of a moment for the couple anyway, the reception is always for the guests because you feed and entertain them

honestly, most weddings i''ve been to, i''ve been late and actually missed the ceremony itself, i know it''s bad

LOL!!!

I''m usually late-ish, but the bride has always been later!

The one wedding that I attended that started EXACTLY ontime, I thought was so strange, because half the guests weren''t there yet! The place looked empty, especially in the wedding photos

If they had waited 15 minutes, they could have shared with more of their friends and family, and had a fuller looking turnout. Many of the guests had flown from out of town. I would have waited a bit.

 

[FrekeChild]

Well we ended up kind of doing the opposite. Reception/engagement party beforehand and wedding afterward. Everyone seemed thrilled to be able to hang out with us, and eat. So I considered it a great success.

I say elopements and receptions are perfectly fine! I would not be offended or upset, and would be ALL ABOUT going to party it up with them afterward! The point is to celebrate their marriage, not be POed that I couldn't be there!

(To answer your question from another thread, I do NOT have those shoes anymore. One pair was dyed pink to match the dress, and I LOVED those. I remember going to get them and picking out the color (there were two very close ones) and then I wore them every chance I got. Considering they were pink satin, they didn't last too long. HOWEVER, my dad still has a pair of pink sneakers I wore ALL of the time when I was 4-5. They are in his desk at his office. I have no idea why he kept them, but I think it is positively adorable.)

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/29/2009 1:32:20 AM
Author: FrekeChild
(To answer your question from another thread, I do NOT have those shoes anymore. One pair was dyed pink to match the dress, and I LOVED those. I remember going to get them and picking out the color (there were two very close ones) and then I wore them every chance I got. Considering they were pink satin, they didn''t last too long. HOWEVER, my dad still has a pair of pink sneakers I wore ALL of the time when I was 4-5. They are in his desk at his office. I have no idea why he kept them, but I think it is positively adorable.)

How cute! I loved many of my childhood shoes, including pink and white boat shoes and saddle shoes, and classic penny loafers! (imagine the first grader with the penny loafers!

GAH!!! loved those things!)

 

[violet02]

My best friend is getting married August 21 and no one is invited at all. No one to even sign the marriage certificate. Until they explained to me why just a couple of us couldn''t come to at least witness (everyone else would be offended they didn''t get to come and so on) I was not happy about it.

Considering I''m on PS and I read stories all the time about this you''d think I wouldn''t be upset about this type of thing but my gut reaction was to still be sad about it. Now that I''ve thought on it some more and understood the stiuation better it makes total sense. Even if I was still a bit ''bent'' I''d have definitely gone to the reception. Of course I''m not bent anymore and I was happy for them either way. I think I was more upset because he was my man of honor and I was supposed to be his best woman when he got married but oh well.

 

[mrscushion]

I would think it was perfectly fine and would attend. It''s up to them how they want to celebrate their wedding.

 

[LilyKat]

I wouldn''t have a problem with it at all, provided it was really an elopement or really small/private ceremony with immediate family only. The only time I have an issue with it is when there''s an A list/B list thing going on (ie 100 people invited to the ceremony, then 50 more tagged on for the reception only straight afterwards - a bit insulting).

 

[gwendolyn]

I wouldn''t be offended, but I''m quite biased as we''re more or less doing this.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Depends on the location for me. I might not fly across the country for just the reception, but I wouldn''t be upset either.

 

[purselover]

I wouldn''t mind at all, but I might be biased since that''s what I wanted to do!

 

[jcarlylew]

ditto to being biased. This is exactly what i wanted to do.

 

[katamari]

Also what we are doing, too, so my vote probably gets thrown out for bias, too. As I see it, they are really two separate events--the marriage ceremony to symbolize the relationship transition and the reception to celebrate it. I have no idea why they are so tightly connected, honestly, as they seem to me to be inherently unconnected. I wanted our parents there, as I saw the marriage itself as an event that only really concerns me, FI, and our immediate families.

I will tell you, though, that for those of my friends and family that I had frank conversations with about whether or not they would be hurt by it, the most often mentioned reason was that they felt the ceremony was the best or the most important part. I, personally, have never felt this way. I enjoy weddings and love going to them, but the reception is what is important and memorable to me. Many of my friends, though, liked seeing the intimacy of the marriage ceremony and being a part of it. The whole "look in their eyes" kind of thing. I guess I am just too private a person, and actually feel uncomfortable by that.

There is the whole religion aspect, too. Not sure about your or his family''s religiousity, but for any of my or FI''s devout family and friends, they did feel like it was important for family and friends to be present to witness and bless the relationship.

I see going to a wedding as a chance to celebrate the relationships I have with people who are important with me and the relationships they have, other than ours, that bring them happiness. So, no matter the format, I would always attend if they were important to me.

 

[tyty333]

Whats to be offended about? Wouldnt bother me a bit!

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 7/29/2009 6:55:59 AM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Depends on the location for me. I might not fly across the country for just the reception, but I wouldn''t be upset either.

Ditto.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 7/29/2009 1:10:40 AM
Author:trillionaire
how would you feel if your friend or family member eloped, then invited you to a reception/party to celebrate their union?

Would you be upset, or offended?

Would you be less inclined to attend?

What are your thoughts?

Wouldn''t be upset and would be very happy to attend the reception afterwards! I''d just want to see the pictures!

 

[Haven]

I would be excited to celebrate with the happy couple.

Besides, I''m always looking for an excuse to throw or attend a good party, anyway.

 

[princesss]

I''d love that! You know how I feel about the ceremony itself being very private, and I think this is a great way to have your private, special moment and still celebrate with your friends and family. I wouldn''t be offended, but again...throw my vote out for bias!

But really, unless I had to travel huge distances, it wouldn''t put me off going (my budget would

). I''d just be thrilled to celebrate a huge moment in my friend''s life!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/29/2009 2:01:05 PM
Author: katamari
Also what we are doing, too, so my vote probably gets thrown out for bias, too. As I see it, they are really two separate events--the marriage ceremony to symbolize the relationship transition and the reception to celebrate it. I have no idea why they are so tightly connected, honestly, as they seem to me to be inherently unconnected. I wanted our parents there, as I saw the marriage itself as an event that only really concerns me, FI, and our immediate families.

I will tell you, though, that for those of my friends and family that I had frank conversations with about whether or not they would be hurt by it, the most often mentioned reason was that they felt the ceremony was the best or the most important part. I, personally, have never felt this way. I enjoy weddings and love going to them, but the reception is what is important and memorable to me. Many of my friends, though, liked seeing the intimacy of the marriage ceremony and being a part of it. The whole ''look in their eyes'' kind of thing. I guess I am just too private a person, and actually feel uncomfortable by that.

There is the whole religion aspect, too. Not sure about your or his family''s religiousity, but for any of my or FI''s devout family and friends, they did feel like it was important for family and friends to be present to witness and bless the relationship.

I see going to a wedding as a chance to celebrate the relationships I have with people who are important with me and the relationships they have, other than ours, that bring them happiness. So, no matter the format, I would always attend if they were important to me.

This is very interesting. I enjoy this part of the ceremony, but would also understand if someone felt it was private or personal. I hate being emotional in front of other people, but I am okay with being vulnerable in front of SO. Neither of us are religious, so that''s not a factor for us. We are planning to do something by ourselves, then have a celebration later with the people who we love, which is A LOT of people!

I wish people didn''t try to make it seem like a cruel and horrible thing to do. His parents are being very understanding, mine, not so much. I can''t wait until my mom starts crying about it.

But this is non-negotiable for me, unless FI says otherwise. I''d get a simple white dress tomorrow and a wedding license and get married on the beach this weekend if it were up to me. I just imagine the peace and simplicity of ''just the two of us'' when we tie the knot.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

My sister had an immediate family wedding and a big reception later. I thought it was great!