Speaking of gifts, is it weird to have a registry if having a registry/city hall wedding?

[gwendolyn]

Sorry for yet another question, ladies...but I feel a bit strange about doing a registry.

For the wedding itself, we''re probably just doing a registry office ceremony and then go out to dinner. Total guests, probably 20 or less.

For the reception, it''s 2 months later, so is but is not really a reception. Total guests, about 100.

So, do we make one just in case people want to give us gifts, even though we aren''t doing things the normal way? To be honest, we could use house stuff because we haven''t lived together long and all my stuff (I''ve lived on my own for years) is back in the US. But I don''t want to look greedy by having it there, even though we''ve not offering them all the usual wedding stuff.

Am I just over-thinking things? I don''t think many (if any) of my family and friends have been involved in any way with an international wedding ceremony, so I guess I just don''t want to accidentally offend anyone. Thanks!

 

[mrscushion]

If I were a guest at either wedding, I would expect there to be a gift registry, particularly because you are having two events in both countries and are not asking guests to travel. So I would definitely want to give a gift and want to know what you want me to give you.

I think the U.S. reception is a proper reception, with a stunning venue and all, even if it's 2 months later.

 

[kittybean]

I don''t think it''s weird to have a registry! People will want to send you gifts, and many guests really appreciate knowing exactly what you might want instead of trying to guess. A wedding is a wedding--I say register away.

 

[ficklefaye]

i agree, you''re getting married, go ahead and register! don''t get too carried away with the scanner tho, i sure did!

 

[LilyKat]

Yes, definitely register. People WILL want to buy you gifts, so it may as well be what you want! Just be discreet about the registry information (as anyone should be).

 

[iheartscience]

Yes, definitely register! People will want to buy you gifts whether you have a traditional wedding or not!

(Plus you want to get loot you actually want!

)

 

[Rock_of_Love]

I would definitely have one. My mom was invited to a wedding and she kept freaking out because she didn''t know what to get them because there was no registry!! I think it helps guide people if they want to give you a gift and don''t know what to get you!

Also, I''ve heard that a lot of places will give you a discount on all the items that you didn''t get. So, register for a ton of stuff and, if you don''t get it, you can always get it later at a discount!!

 

[Haven]

Register, Gwennie! I don''t think it''s strange at all.
If I knew you in real life, I''d want to buy you a fabulous gift regardless of where you were marrying.

 

[charbie]

Register- if not just so people can get you gifts if they chose, but also som stores will offer 20% off if you buy items off your registry you did not receive- so you can use $$$ gifts you might get to buy things you need.

 

[honey22]

Date: 7/22/2009 10:26:27 PM
Author: Haven
Register, Gwennie! I don''t think it''s strange at all.
If I knew you in real life, I''d want to buy you a fabulous gift regardless of where you were marrying.

Ditto the ever eloquent, always nice, never naughty Haven

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/22/2009 10:26:27 PM
Author: Haven
Register, Gwennie! I don't think it's strange at all.

If I knew you in real life, I'd want to buy you a fabulous gift regardless of where you were marrying.

Haven, you are such a doll. And honey22, you too--thank you both, you're very sweet.

Thank you, ladies! I figured that was the case, but for some reason, because our situation is different, I keep being caught by these sudden doubts that people might be annoyed or resentful about some of the things we'll be doing. Thank you for putting my mind at east.

How early should registries go up? And to then choose the stores and the stuff, hmm hmm hmmmm...

 

[katamari]

We are registered. Although I also felt really weird about it, everyone kept asking FMIL and my mom, so we finally caved. In the end, it really comes down to the fact that gifting is something people do in our culture to show that they value your relationship. They will want to get you a gift and there is really nothing you can do to stop it. And, just because you are registered, it doesn''t mean that people who don''t want to get you a gift or those who don''t think your even warrants a gift have to get you one.

 

[ficklefaye]

i agree with everyone here, registering does help the guests decide what to buy, one of my friends registered but didn''t tell anyone, but i still found it because it was at a popular department store, so you can always be discreet about it, and people might still find out

i registered prior to my bridal shower because i was told people wiould buy presents from it, but i am not sure if you are having a shower

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

I''m glad you posted this Gwen, because I think it sort of applies to my scenario too. It''s nice to hear the responses people gave you. Katamari has firsthand experience with this type of scenario too, so it''s nice to see what she''s doing.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:46:10 AM
Author: luvthemstrawberries
I''m glad you posted this Gwen, because I think it sort of applies to my scenario too. It''s nice to hear the responses people gave you. Katamari has firsthand experience with this type of scenario too, so it''s nice to see what she''s doing.

Ditto...

I wasn''t sure about the whole registry thing because our wedding is so small. I feel better now.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:44:30 AM
Author: ficklefaye
i agree with everyone here, registering does help the guests decide what to buy, one of my friends registered but didn''t tell anyone, but i still found it because it was at a popular department store, so you can always be discreet about it, and people might still find out

i registered prior to my bridal shower because i was told people wiould buy presents from it, but i am not sure if you are having a shower

Not to be rude to your friend, but what''s the point in registering if no one knows you have a registry?

Was it so that she would only hand it out to the people who asked?

Yeah, no bridal shower here--I''m in England and they aren''t really done, from what I understand. But those are usually held a couple months before the wedding, so is that about right?

 

[Miscka]

Hi Gwen!

After we eloped, people asked where we were registered. They still sent gifts, and then we had a shower and are having a teeny re-wedding, so its a similar situation.

Register! IMO people want to say "congrats on your marriage" more than "congrats on your wedding". Or at least, I hope so.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/23/2009 12:38:51 PM
Author: Miscka
Hi Gwen!


After we eloped, people asked where we were registered. They still sent gifts, and then we had a shower and are having a teeny re-wedding, so its a similar situation.


Register! IMO people want to say ''congrats on your marriage'' more than ''congrats on your wedding''. Or at least, I hope so.

Awww, Miscka, that''s so lovely! Thank you for responding--I think our small UK wedding might be seen by some of the US people like an elopement, sort of, so it''s good to hear how things went with you.

As for the gifts being a congrats on the marriage instead of the wedding, I would hope so too! But people can be strange...

 

[Pandora II]

Gwen, nearly everyone in the UK registers with John Lewis - the big one is in Oxford Street and you get free cake when you go to set up the list!

The registry goes live 6 weeks before the wedding. They will deliver everything in one go after the wedding - as I was moving house they held on to everything for 3 months for me.

We don't have showers over here.

 

[merrymunky]

Date: 7/26/2009 6:08:17 PM
Author: Pandora II
Gwen, nearly everyone in the UK registers with John Lewis - the big one is in Oxford Street and you get free cake when you go to set up the list!

The registry goes live 6 weeks before the wedding. They will deliver everything in one go after the wedding - as I was moving house they held on to everything for 3 months for me.

We don''t have showers over here.

Yep...my friend registered at John Lewis. We didn''t though. We haven''t registered for anything since we have lived together for almost 7 years. If anyone has asked we have said Argos vouchers would be fine. Cheap and cheerful eh? LOL

It just means we can either buy online or go into the store ourselves.

But Gwen - I say register. Heck it''s a wedding no matter where, when, how big or small. You are entitled to register and get some items you could really use.

 

[FrekeChild]

I registered. That''s one of the first things I did after figuring out what our wedding was going to be all about, where and how many guests would be coming. I''m super glad I did too, because half of the stuff was bought for our engagement party, plus a few items that weren''t on the registry. Of which, we''re planning on getting rid of, because we don''t have room to store things, and we certainly don''t need stuff lying around that we aren''t going to use at all.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/26/2009 6:08:17 PM
Author: Pandora II
Gwen, nearly everyone in the UK registers with John Lewis - the big one is in Oxford Street and you get free cake when you go to set up the list!

The registry goes live 6 weeks before the wedding. They will deliver everything in one go after the wedding - as I was moving house they held on to everything for 3 months for me.


We don''t have showers over here.

They give out free cake, eh? Hahaha, I had casually mentioned it to James and he (like usual) said wherever I wanted to register was fine, but if the free cake is a factor, I think he just might be swayed. He''s easily bought like that.

Oh, that''s interesting, so there''s just one bulk delivery of stuff? That''s unusual--at home, things show up sporadically as people buy you things. Good to know, though, so we don''t put anything on the registry that we might want for the actual wedding itself (like toasting flutes or anything).

Thanks, Pandora! As always, your help is invaluable.

merrymunky, that''s a good idea too, Argos vouchers! But since we will have so many guests from out of the country, it''s probably easier for them to buy actual items rather than vouchers--although who knows, maybe not! But we do need lots of house stuff anyway, so we can probably find more than enough at John Lewis or wherever.

Do most people in England only register at one place? At home in the US, two or three places is quite common. Any stores other than John Lewis common for registries here?