Spending Christmas apart?

[firebirdgold]

I''m so glad the worst part was a misunderstanding. It''s terrifying how easily a very painful misunderstanding can come about! And they can blow up so fast too!
I do recommend discussing the holiday and marriage thing. Fortunately most parents will recognize the need to trade off holidays, although not always happily.
We had a hiccup last year which was our first christmas together as my mother was not thrilled at the idea of us not having xmas with my family. So we just had xmas at my house which is near my parents and used ff miles to get his parents here. (his sis was at her future in-laws). It still took a bit of talking before she accepted that present opening was here not at her house.
This year we''re having it with his family several states away. (long live frequent flyer miles). They''re actually ok with my having xmas with the future in-laws since my sister just got married and will be having their first christmas in their new home. So my parents are going on a romantic foreign holiday.

I think we''re going to have to discuss things with his newly married sister and my newly married sister so we''re all on the same schedule.

Essentially, when you get married you''re forming a new family.

 

[Christa]

Date: 9/13/2006 6:29:14 PM
Author: divergrrl

Date: 9/12/2006 8:32:46 PM
Author: Christa
Chiming in again in response to something Divergrrl said--I have divorced parents too, and after one year of trying to do everything twice (I was already married with a baby when they split up) my sisters and I agreed that was ridiculous and that if they could live in the same house for 25 years they could certainly sit in the same room for a couple of hours a year. Now we do everything together--holidays, birthday, everything--and they both come and ignore each other.

Christa....that is what I tried when my son was born! I was sick of the ''holiday relay of madness''. But, unfortunately, that doesn''t work with my mom & she makes OUR lives miserable. You don''t even wanna know.

We didn''t try it--we just did it.

Even now that we don''t have the relay, my mom wants us at her house (1.5 hours away) at noon on Christmas day--not going to happen. When are we supposed to do stockings and Christmas breakfast if we''re having to rush around and get our mashed potatoes or whatever ready to take to Grandmas''s?! So we stay home and invite them to come to us--they usually don''t, but I''m OK with that, too.

When my kids were babies I didn''t mind the running back and forth on holidays so much, but the older they get, the more we value *our* family time over extended family time. I don''t want my kids'' holiday memories to be "hurry up hurry up put your new stuff away and get dressed we''re supposed to be there in 45 minutes!"