Strangely timed gifts...

[alli_esq]

Is it just me...or is this situation super duper weirdo?

My cousin sent me what I believe is a wedding gift...last week...when my wedding is in mid-November. No shower has been planned yet, but I have heard some rumblings (despite the fact that I told a couple of my bridesmaids not to worry about it)...but that wouldn't even be until at least September...?

Now, the stuff she bought was all from my registry, it was summer stuff (beach chairs, iced tea maker, picnic basket), and the card said something along the lines of "I know your wedding isn't until November, but I bought all summer stuff, so here, enjoy it pre-wedding."

Hey, I am NOT trying to look a gift-horse in the mouth, and I do appreciate it, of course...but...have any of you ever heard of getting a gift 7 months before your wedding? Like what was she even doing on my registry 7 months before my wedding?? I don't know. The whole thing's weird to me. My mom insists that it must be a late engagement gift (I got engaged a year ago, and I did just get an engagement gift from a relative on the other side of the family)...but given the card, I can't imagine that it's anything but a wedding gift.

I sent a thank you note (of course, not one of my fancy wedding thank you notes--since I don't have those yet, because I haven't even picked them out 7 months before my wedding!

), but I did think the whole thing was strange.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

 

[Winslet]

She probably just had her heart set on getting you fun summer stuff (and for you to be able to enjoy it a full year sooner than if you'd gotten it in the fall), and some seasonal items might no longer be available closer to your wedding. I don't think it's weird at all - I actually think it's really thoughtful!

 

[Fleur]

Hi Alli: I think it''s a wedding gift. A very early wedding gift!!

I''m thinking she thought you''d rather enjoy the summer items now rather than get them in November and have to wait until the next summer to use them.

I guess that would be tempered with whatever your family or regional customs are. In the south for example, gifts sent prior to the wedding are often displayed and a gift viewing may be hosted for people to look at the gifts. Can''t enjoy the gift until after the viewing. If you''re not bound by that, make a nice pot of iced tea and put your new chair on the deck and catch some rays!!

 

[tlh]

My cousin sent me our wedding gift 2-3 months before the wedding. She figured it would be easier for us not to worry about it (since we were traveling to our wedding location). 7 months seems early, but if it was on your registery, she probably thought, you''d enjoy it more now... than 7 months AFTER your wedding.

 

[alli_esq]

I guess it is thoughtful--except how did she know for sure that she was invited to the wedding? (hehe, just kidding, being snarky for no reason other than it''s rainy out, hehe...)

I probably wouldn''t think too much about it, except that this happens to be a cousin with whom I''ve had somewhat of a rift (I''ve posted about it before--but too much to go into right now)...though the consensus here was that I didn''t handle that situation very well either (which may be true)...

 

[kama_s]

Wow, I think it was very thoughful of her to send the gift early - she just genuinely wants you to enjoy it now. If you got it in November it would be used only next summer. Plus, things can go out of stock too.

Send her a lovely thank you card and enjoy your new stuff! I wish our families were this thoughful

 

[alli_esq]

okay, okay...I feel guilty now. Yes, it was nice. Yes, we will use the beachy stuff this summer. You guys are right--all I trying to do is to point out how unusual it is to get a wedding gift so incredibly early. 'Tis all!

 

[kama_s]

You''re right - it is unusual! But it just reflects the thoughtfulness of your cousin

Our friends got married last year and we bought their gift 4-5 months in advance - we got them some beautiful luggage off their registry so that they could have it in time for their honeymoon. I hope they didn''t think I was crazy!! (well, I am...but nevermind that!)

 

[Mediterranean]

Date: 5/1/2009 12:43:13 PM
Author: kama_s
I hope they didn''t think I was crazy!! (well, I am...but nevermind that!)

Awwww, but that''s why we

LOVE

you Kama!!

...I think it''s thoughtful as well, and perhaps they''re trying to stagger their expenses? It''s easier to take 7 months to buy wedding gift, shower gift, book hotels and flights, get new outfits...than it is to try and cram all that spending into a month or two?

 

[Morgie44]

I don''t know what exactly went down between the two of you in the past, but maybe if there is a rift between you two, this is her way of trying to reach out to you?

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I actually think the gift was extremely thoughtful.

You registered for summer stuff and she wanted you to be able to take full advantage of them now as opposed to sitting them in storage until summer 2010! She could have waited for post-season prices...but she was clearly thinking of you, and wanted you to able to enjoy your wedding gifts and get good use out them. I think that''s so nice.

For my wedding, we got presents as early as May (we married in July) and as late as six months later.

 

[alli_esq]

ohhhh, gosh, okay, now I feel like a jerk.

sorry, ladies. I swear I''m not a jerk in reality. I just thought it was a weird thing. But I guess I was just being cynical. thanks for settin me straight!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 5/1/2009 2:28:45 PM
Author: alli_esq
ohhhh, gosh, okay, now I feel like a jerk.

sorry, ladies. I swear I''m not a jerk in reality. I just thought it was a weird thing. But I guess I was just being cynical. thanks for settin me straight!

Oh, Alli, you''re not a jerk at all. You''re just reacting normally to getting a gift many months in advance...I think plenty of people would be confused, too!

But now, go and enjoy it!

 

[Haven]

alli--It''s not a weird thing to do, and you''re not a jerk to think it is.

It''s actually common practice in many social circles to send a wedding gift as soon as you hear that a couple is engaged, and especially if you already have a registry set up. I send wedding gifts early for every wedding, and if people think it''s strange then I''d be happy to keep the gifts for myself.

I think it was extremely thoughtful for all of the reasons Italia mentioned. A gracious thank you note was definitely the correct response.

Enjoy your new summer gear!

 

[mrscushion]

I think it''s actually a nice and thoughtful idea, too.

 

[bee*]

I think it''s unusual too, although I found it strange getting a pressie this week-just wasn''t expecting it! I think it''s very thoughtful what she did though, making sure you had it for summer.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 5/1/2009 2:28:45 PM
Author: alli_esq
ohhhh, gosh, okay, now I feel like a jerk.

sorry, ladies. I swear I''m not a jerk in reality. I just thought it was a weird thing. But I guess I was just being cynical. thanks for settin me straight!

You are totally not a jerk! I''d wonder as well if I got a gift 7 months in advance! You''re lucky/blessed to have such wonderful family

Date: 5/1/2009 1:00:53 PM
Author: Mediterranean
Awwww, but that''s why we

LOVE

you Kama!!

Hehe, Medi, I love you too

 

[musey]

Why not? She explained why she sent it early, seems straightforward to me!

We started getting gifts I think about 5 months out.

 

[wyndham]

Hi Alli,
I've been in your shoes before -- we received several gifts right after we sent out our Save the Dates, and most of the cards just said something vague like "congratulations, we're excited for you." FI and I discussed whether these were likely to be engagement gifts or wedding gifts, and we ultimately decided that it was safer to assume that these strangely-timed gifts were wedding gifts when we wrote our thank you notes.

Our reasoning was that if we said "thank you for the engagement gift" and it was actually a wedding gift, our friends might feel obligated to get us another 'wedding' gift. We figured that if we assume all gifts are wedding gifts going forward (and write the thank you notes as such), we will be pleasantly surprised to see a wedding gift from the same people in the future if they intended their strangely-timed gift as an engagement gift.

I think your cousin was being thoughtful by trying to let you use your summer gear early...and I would say something to that effect in my thank you note to her!

Enjoy that iced tea!

 

[allycat0303]

Alli_esq: I guess she thought you could enjoy it for the summer! It sounds like maybe late engagement, bridal shower gift maybe.

I got checks with my response cards which I found to be really strange. I mean these people are COMING to the wedding, so I didn''t understand why they sent their gift ahead of time. Kind of stressed me out though, because I thought I should sent a thank you right away.

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 5/1/2009 2:25:54 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I actually think the gift was extremely thoughtful.

You registered for summer stuff and she wanted you to be able to take full advantage of them now as opposed to sitting them in storage until summer 2010! She could have waited for post-season prices...but she was clearly thinking of you, and wanted you to able to enjoy your wedding gifts and get good use out them. I think that's so nice.

For my wedding, we got presents as early as May (we married in July) and as late as six months later.

OOOH!! Does that mean I'll start getting gifts this month?? LOL We're getting married in July. LOL

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie - I like gifts. LOL