Stress

[Caribou]

So today is the first day since we''ve changed the date that I''m getting stressed about things. Mainly because I''m stressing that I''m not going to find someone to do my hair or a photographer (I''m getting married on a Sunday during a holiday weekend).

People get married during the holidays all the time, right? I don''t need to stress I can do this.....right?

 

[lovelylulu]

caribou: i''m right there with you. up until this very day i hadn''t felt any stress at all and hadn''t had a single quarrel with my SO. but today, i learned that my BM dresses are probably not going to work out because of our compressed time schedule and that we have to get on ordering our invitations, but there is a problem there because we haven''t had a tasting for the menu...and had a minor disagreement with SO about lodging options for guests. ahhhhh.

it''s given me a huge headache.

i think I''m at the point now when i just need to start making decisions and live with them...

what holiday are you getting married on? you can do it!!!

 

[akw94]

Caribou,
*Try* not to stress too, too much. Things will work themselves out for you. Do you have a regular hair stylist? Or does your FMIL know anyone in their area? Do you know a friend/family member who might be able to be the photographer? I think 6 mo. is a good amount of time to be able to find people.

You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!

 

[Caribou]

I''m getting married on September 3, Sunday during Labor Day weekend.

We can both do it Lovely!!!!! I need a drink, I know that much.

 

[E B]

Caribou,

Have you seen this link?

www.wpja.com

Aphisiglovessae posted it in a thread of mine....it's a great resource! Where are you having your wedding?

 

[E B]

Have you seen this photographer''s work?

http://www.marcinharla.com/

 

[Caribou]

Thanks everyone.

Amy, you sound like my FI...''everything will all work out''.

I know it will but, you know, I started getting stressed yesterday when I contacted a salon where I''m getting married and she told me that they don''t work on Sunday''s and are not even open that entire weekend. But ''CONGRATULATIONS!''

I thought ''BITE ME!''

Then today I was looking at a photographers calender and that weekend was all blocked out. So the stress really hit. I''ve been thinking ''OMG! What if I can''t get a photographer!!!!''

I have a friend who is a hair dresser, however, I hardly talk to her so I would feel like I''m using her if I just invite her for that propose (she isnt'' otherwise being invited). Also, she isn''t super great at cutting (doesn''t always listen) but I''ve never seen her updo''s. Actually, her aunt and I were best friends in HS and we still talk occasionally, I told her how I was stressing about it, hopeing that she''d say ''M will do it'' but she didn''t get the subtle hints.

I''m going to do a little more research, I''ll use her as a back up plan B.

Ebree, I did see that, I actually contacted that photog in the link you posted.

What makes this a little harder is that I''m getting married 2.5 hours away from home (it''s FI''s hometown) and my FMIL will totally help me but it''s still a little tougher. I''m just freaking that''s all.

Anyway, thanks again, you ladies are great!!!

 

[akw94]

Well, does the hair stylist friend have to know she''s only invited for the hair? Ok, maybe that''s not nice but I think i''d invite my stylist for purposes of doing my hair. That is how we know each other, so i''m guessing that''s ok. If you did have to go w/her, you should definitely see pics or have her do the style before so you are positive it''s what you want. What about asking for referrals from the site of your wedding? Or tell your FMIL to get on the ball! She''s gotta get you some names/#''s! Does your FI know others still in the area that can help you?

Not that I know personally, but, I think it''s totally normal to freak out a bit. You are, after all, planning a major event!

 

[Odilia]

I was totally stressed before my wedding for reasons too numerous to name, but this article was a good stress relief, I thought:

It''s no wonder brides often turn into Frankenstein
DAVE BARRY
Every year, as we enter wedding season, I go to the bookstore and pick up a bridal magazine. Then I crumple to the floor with lower-back spasms, because during wedding season, bridal magazines achieve roughly the same mass as Ted Kennedy (D-Mass). They
have hundreds of pages of advertisements and articles designed to help the bride, as she gets ready for her Special Day, go completely insane.

She can''t help it. Your modern American wedding is more complex, in terms of logistics, than the invasion of Iraq. For one thing, the invasion planners don''t have to decide on guest favors; the bride does, and it''s not a simple decision. Here is what Modern Bride has to say on this topic in its 312-pound March issue:

``Gone are the days of giving guests mixed nuts in little plastic cups as wedding favors ... Brides today have so many options ... Choose unique favor container -- tiny tins, clear plastic cones, little gossamer bags -- and fill them with your favorite treats. Give each guest a silver frame ... or tie a stack of your favorite cookies together with personalized ribbon.
The choices are truly endless!''''

And they are! Truly! Endless! Which is why tonight, while you''re snoring the snore of the carefree, some stressed-out bride-to-be, who had once hoped (The fool!) to get by with mixed nuts in a cup, will be staring at her bedroom ceiling, asking herself: ``Tiny tins? Gossamer bags? Personalized ribbon? Should I maybe personalize the gossamer? What the heck IS gossamer?''''

At dawn she''s still struggling to make this decision, so she can get on with the other 158,000 critical bridal decisions -- decisions she must make by herself, because she stopped talking to her mother weeks ago, following a bitter argument about the cake frosting. The bride, alone, must decide on her dress, shoes, flowers, invitations, place cards, caterer,
photographer and all the other wedding elements that must be perfect or her Special Day will be RUINED RUINED RUINED.

And don''t tell me that the groom can help. Please. The groom is useless. Statistically speaking, something like 92 percent of all grooms are male. If you let males plan weddings you are going to wind up with Skee Ball at the reception.

No, the groom dropped out of the picture minutes after he proposed. For all the bride knows, he has been kidnapped by aliens. It does not matter. The bride must plunge grimly ahead, making decision after decision, day after stressful day, night after sleepless night, until she has, at most, two remaining marbles.

Unfortunately, the bride reaches this state just when she is turning her attention to the most abused victim group in America: bridesmaids. If you''ve ever wondered why you see so many weddings where the bridesmaids are unrecognizable, the answer is that these poor women were following the fashion orders of a crazed bride who wants all her bridesmaids, regardless of their physical nature, to have exactly the same ''''look,''''because otherwise her Special Day would be RUINED RUINED RUINED.

A few years ago my wife was a bridesmaid; the bride was the sweetest, most thoughtful person we know. But she insisted that all her bridesmaids get a certain hairdo, which meant that my wife emerged from the beauty salon with this foot-high thing on her head
formed by (1) her hair; (2) a substance that appeared to be either very strong hair spray or Super Glue; and (3) 14 million bobby pins. She had enough steel on her head to make a Cadillac Escalade. Her hairdo was interfering with aircraft compasses. She did not look
like my wife. And she wasn''t! She was ... a bridesmaid!

Can anything be done to halt this craziness? Yes. Alert reader Lori Rispoli has come up with a brilliant solution:

''''Have you ever wondered,'''' she writes, ``why it takes a bride months and months to plan a wedding, but a good funeral can be pulled together in two days? The elements are all the same -- church, minister, music, flowers, guests, food.''''

Lori is absolutely right. What we need is a law prohibiting brides from planning their weddings more than, say, a week in advance. A bride caught violating this law would be subject to severe punishment, such as being forced to walk down the aisle to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff.

Wouldn''t that be great? Brides -- and their loved ones -- would be spared months of insanity. Weddings would be simpler, cheaper and more relaxed. Everybody would win! Except of course the people who put out the bridal magazines. They''d have to find something useful
to do. But I''m sure they''ll have no trouble. The choices are truly endless.

 

[monarch64]

Ha ha old-fashioned! Your post was hilarious! I really liked the comparison between wedding and funeral planning, it''s so true.

Caribou, I''ve had really good luck in the past with getting updo''s at hotels where my husband and I have stayed for weddings. Granted, none of them were on Sundays, but maybe you could get a salon to pull some strings, ya never know. I got married on a Sunday myself, and was lucky enough to have a great hairdresser at the time who was willing to come open her salon at 7 a.m. for my BM''s and me. Are you getting married at a hotel/resort? If so, I suggest calling your coordinator and asking if they have had this situation come up before. Chances are they have and would be able to recommend a stylist who would come in on a Sunday...good luck!

 

[selflove]

Caribou--I feel for you but you can do this! You''ve got 6 months and that is PLENTY of time! Even though it''s a holidya weekend, vendors will still want to earn money. So, I suggest getting recommendations from any vendors you currently have in the destsination city, for photographers and any of the other "big" vendors you still need to book. Then ask your FMIL to recommend some salons where they can do your hair/makeup. You''ve got 6 months to go in for a trial run of the hair/makeup, so you have plenty of time.

I found that making a list of all the little things has been extremely helpful. It''s funny b/c I can tell when I''m neglecting my list and being lazy--then I have a nightmare about things not being ready on the wedding day. So I don''t consciously feel stressed out at all, but subconsciously I must be stressing a little. Oh well, at least something is keeping me on the ball.

 

[eks6426]

Caribou--I got married on the Sunday of July 4th weekend last year in a town 4 hours away from my hometown. We took a hair dresser with us from home. Paid for the hotel for her family plus paid for the updos of course. The hair dresser's family had a lovely weekend. And we got our hair done. Just a thought.