Synagogue weddings?

[peonygirl]

Are any Jews here planning to get married in a synagogue? Do you know if one generally has to be a member to do so? My boyfriend and I just go to our school''s Hillel so we''re not a member here in Chicago, and in San Diego my mom has let her membership lapse. Thanks for your feedback!

 

[momothree]

I know many people who were unaffiliated with any congregation and were nonetheless married by a rabbi. The weddings were generally not at syngagogues though (they were at hotels, clubs, restaurants, etc) in case that matters. In fact I am one of those people; I picked my rabbi because my future grandmother-in-law had a relationship with him. I know others who simply "shopped around," visiting temples and attending services until they found someone they liked. Good luck!

 

[Hunali]

I wanted to get married in a synagogue (I''m also from Chicago), and you DEFINITELY need to belong to get married in one. You can become a member and then you can get married there, but the dues are often high. Most people I know have gotten married at the hall where they had the reception. That option is more convenient for the guests unless you plan on having both the party and the ceremony at the synagoge.

 

[peonygirl]

Hunali, thanks for the information! Which synagogues in particular did you contact?

 

[Hunali]

I haven''t contacted any yet b/c I just started looking at halls last week. I will look into a couple of synagogues in the Northshore since that''s where I am from. I don''t know which ones yet. Do you know where you want to look?

I still don''t know how it works with the membership/wedding. I have to look further into this. But I do know for sure that if you want your ceremony in a synagogue you need to belong and that can get expensive!

 

[AmberGretchen]

You do usually have to join to get married in the synagogue itself, but my fiance and I are looking at it this way - we are starting a new family and a new life, and growing up Jewish, my temple community was really important to me (incidentally we are joining the synagogue I grew up in, but FI feels at home there as well). Also, and I think this is pretty common, we are having extensive pre-wedding meetings with the rabbi. So far they have been really wonderful - sort of like pre-wedding counseling, and it has been good for us in trying to keep a healthy prespective while we plan. Dues can get expensive, but most places will make accommodations - my FI and I explained we couldn''t pay what was suggested for our income bracket because we are paying off student loans, and that was fine with everyone. Anyway, just my $0.02, and I hope its helpful. GL!