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Tacky or Not?

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piccolascimmia

piccolascimmia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
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342
Hi all - we''re finalizing plans for the other events the weekend of the wedding and I need some feedback. We''re getting married on a Sunday, and good friends have offered to host a party for us and all guests at their house/backyard on Saturday night. Its incredibly generous of them to host, and we offered to pay for the catering (something cheap and casual, likely BBQ, around $1,000). A good portion of our invites are OOT guests.

Due to the Sunday wedding, and the venue having a Saturday night event, our actual rehearsal will likely be Friday afternoon. We were trying to do something fun for the ''rehearsal dinner'' and would include only the wedding party and closest OOT friends (35 total invites). We really liked the idea of taking everyone to a baseball game (there''s history for us there).

So here''s the tacky or not question...for the Friday night baseball game/''rehearsal dinner'', we can do it two ways...either host them in the private club at the park at a cost of around $2,800 (ouch, a bit out of the price range, but such a fun night to share with them) or do we just buy a group of nice tickets at a cost of around $1,300 and let them fend for themselves for food/drink. I''ve asked a few folks and have heard split votes on the tackiness of asking them to buy their own food/drinks.

Your honest opinions are appreciated! Thanks
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Hmm tough one..

I love the game idea!!!!!!!!!!

Could you have a pre or post game drinks?. I don''t think you have to feed everyone...and I personally don''t think it''s tacky at all to give them tickets (hello, that''s already a nice gesture, IMO!)...but I don''t really follow traditions...hehe.

M~
 
Honestly, I would be more than happy to pay for my own hot dog and beer at a baseball rehearsal party if the host provided me with a good ticket.

Your rehearsal party idea sounds very fun!
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Yeah mandarine, I''m not very traditional either :)

I just started if we hosted a little food/drink at our house prior to the game (we are walking distance to the ballpark). I just hate the idea of all the planning that may go into that, and would prefer not to worry about that with so many other things to do that weekend (but, I''m sure its less than the $40 a head the ballpark charges). Its worth checking into!
 
Aprilcait - that''s my thought but then the doubts about ''hosting'' this group came into play and is that defined by feeding them?
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Also, one more tidbit is that fiancee thinks that his parents would prefer the club area since it might be more comfortable than the open ballpark. But every other attendee is younger and would likely enjoy the park.
 
They don''t have a box you can rent?

Hmm. Tough one. It depends on the crowd. With my family? The private club. With his family? The seats and fend would be fine. Actually I would do vouchers for food if I could arrange that with the ballpark. 20 bucks a person should do it (park food is expensive).

Luxury box would be preferrable though.
 
Thanks Gypsy - the luxury boxes start at $3500 for that night (and then add on catering costs to that)...so much more than the private club.

They didn''t mention ''vouchers'' for food, but I''ll ask them that next, it might be a good middle ground. I''m happy to pay for ballpark food, just have a tougher time with $40 a head
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Traditionally, the groom''s parents host the rehersal dinner. Is there anyway they could help with the cost of the private club? If not, why not have something like lasagne, salad, and rolls at home before the game, then guests could fend for themselves at the game?
 
Ahhh. Nevermind. Yikes that''s expensive. Vouchers would be my solution.

I agree about the rehersal dinner being groom''s parents responsibility. But sometimes it just doesn''t work out that way.
 
Personally, I think watching a baseball game isn''t as exciting if you''re in a box. So I vote for tickets in the stands. However, I think that while you dont need to pay for people''s refreshments, I do think you should include ALL your OOT guests, not just the "close" ones. It is customary to include all OOT guests in wedding weekend activities because they bothered to come all the way to your wedding. That''s my only comment.
 
I think the ballgame sounds like a lot of fun. I think it totally depends on the "personality" of your group, including age as to whether or not they will find it tacky. I do think hosting them at your house before the game is a great idea but does require more planning.
The other thing to think about, is how "private" do you want the occasion to be. Obviously in the private club it will be more of a true group event with a personal feel to it, vs all of you in one section with other people all around you.
Just something else to think about, either way sounds fine and seems like a lot of fun. Personally if I were attending, and someone provided a ticket for me, I would be more than happy to purchase my own food.
 
My thoughts:
Not inviting other OOT guests is fine, they''ll all be there the next night, so the small group is fine for the baseball game. I don''t think its tacky not to feed everyone, just make sure people know that foods not included so they have cash (though I''m sure most wouldn''t expect food--i wouldnt). I would probably do something like pizza and soda at my house before walking over to the game; its easy (just order it), not too expensive, and at least gives people the option of eating. Oh, and I agree that the stands sounds like more fun than a box.
 
Hmmmm, if you''re not going to supply food, definitely don''t call it the rehearsal dinner. Call it a rehearsal outing or something. I''d probably get the box if I could. I don''t think it''s completely tacky not to buy them food, though personally a dinner would be more enjoyable to me than a baseball game. But I''m not into baseball.
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Thank you ladies! Your opinions are helping me to flesh in my thoughts. Here are a more ideas/comments...

I''ve not asked for any money from my parents and neither has fiancee. Both sets of parents have generously offered to host a small local dinner/party in their hometowns after the wedding, so I don''t want to ask them for anything else. We''re also both older and financially stable, so I hate asking for money from them when we can afford it (but just balk at how much it is).

And for only inviting smaller numbers to the game...I felt that since everyone was invited to the Saturday night party, that inviting a smaller subset to Friday night wouldn''t be as much of a faux pax. And...I wonder how many would be in town for Friday night, or if the bulk would arrive Saturday.

Private vs. more open...that is a good point - the club would be more of an opportunity for everyone to mix, while the seats would separate folks out to only talk to those closest to them. If we had some kind of food at the house prior to the party, that might offset the loss of mixing in the seats.

And I agree, I''d probably call this a rehearsal outing or something else other than RD since its not really the same as that event.

Thanks again for helping me piece this together...additional opinions are welcomed!
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I think the rehearsal baseball sounds like a fab idea! If you can''t afford or simply don''t want to spend the money to do the box + catering then I''d either get voucherrs/buy American Express gift cards (make sure your ball park takes cc first) or have a pre-game meal at a close by home w/ hot dogs, french fries and all the trimmings!
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Good luck!
 
Hi,
I think the baseball game sounds like a unique and fun idea. I probably would provide some sort of food. I like the idea of having food before, even if it''s pizza or hot dogs and chips, to get in the baseball mood. Then you have a chance to talk and mingle and your guests get the dinner part of the event. If no food, I''d probably just call it a pre-wedding outing or something like that.
 
Can you have your cake and eat it too?? By that I mean can''t you reserve the box or VIP section AND have them serve regular fun baseball park food w/o the $40pp charge?
 
Sohappy - I love cake but the ballpark won''t let me do what I''d love to do and bring in my own food/caterer to save money
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Love the idea of a Friday night game for all involved, that''s so fun and unexpected! I do think the voucher thing would be the easiest solution, though, that way you''re giving everyone the same amount to spend on food and drink and they can order what they want, when they want to. Guys who want to have more than a beer and a hot dog I think will certainly understand that anything after that cost would need to be paid for by them, no? OK, that was a completely sexist statement, sorry...I''m just brainstorming here! But you kind of have to think that way especially with the high cost of a beverage at a ball park, at Wrigley beers are what, $5 at least? So I''m thinking the most organized way of hosting the ball game would be to provide vouchers of some sort which can be redeemed for a specific amount, maybe, and after that people are on their own.
 
Yay! I just talked to the ballpark again and they do have "bucks" you can use in the park, so I now have many other options:

-exclusive club with $40 pp food and cheaper seats.
-nicer seats plus however many bucks we give them for food/beer
-new option of an open hospitality area (not as nice as the club) but a hangout place for 2 hours prior to the game, and catering is flexible and ranges from $15-40, plus seats once the 2 hours is up (or we can keep the patio for more $ per hour).
I think we have 3 good options all in a different budget category/hospitality level. Now, I just need to talk to fiancee to figure out which path to take
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Thanks for everyone's opinions!
 
Wonderful! I''m so glad they had other options for you!
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Let us know what you decide! It''s sounds like fun. I know that of the options you listed... I would probably do the hospitality area if it were me, then do seats afterward.
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Sounds like you got some really good advice here and some added serving options to choose from.

I just wanted to throw my pennies on the table too. I think the ball park thing is really a great idea. I also think that the event ticket allows you to bow out of the customary pay for the food thing. You are expected to do that...but not after an extravagant trip to an event. If you were all seated at a restaurant...you may very well be offering a preplanned menu. Aware of the the per head expense. But attending an event with an endless flow of food and beverage available...I think your guests would be more than pleased with the ticket for COMPENSATION. I wonder what miss manners would say to my view? There will be some guests not partaking in the ball park food...while others will be downing a dog an inning. Your Uncle George is going to order 6 beers...while Aunt Edna may only have a lemonaide. Would be a waste on her...huh?

You are actually offering an action packed weekend. These hungry guests will be feed again-again. Which of course is not normal for an entire weddig party to be fed at three times...including then the day of the wedding too! By the end of the weekend you will have no undernourished guests.

If you were choosing to go to a play for example...there are no barkers yelling peanuts! Hotdogs! Ice Cooooold Beea Hea...(''beer here'' for those of you who haven''t been to a game). This is an unusual situation and I HONESTLY think your home pregame buffet is more than adequate. Really. It is afternoon still right? You have many great views here...so I think you can weigh everything and decide what is best. I just wanted to add my support in your decision not to offer food at the game.

You could serve hotdogs GRILLED, Gourmet larger brats or Kielbasa and some tofu ones "We decide to serve you here as we can do a much better justice the the DOGG". I would print a ball bark menu with prices and have it there...so they would know what is offered for them while there. Also maybe some sort of itinery...Walker Gameplan. It will inform them of the Saturday night gathering and catered/cooked food. Sunday wedding reception fish, chicken or steak, etc. They will see that they won''t starve over the weekend. Include map and directions to the Saturday gathering and more directions to the Sunday BIG EVENT showing routes from hotels and homes they will be staying.

If you decide to serve at home...have some plastic cups with your name on them...Walkers team....I would like to add an idea of having team hats...Team Walker. It would make everyone get into the team thing. Have a jar filled with cash or coin and who ever guesses the correct score or inning the first homer is hit...or some games with prizes. Fill a bowl with Cracker jacks, duds, lemon drop, mints...you know movie theater candy choices, and tons of bubble gum. I think you can really have some fun with the theme. Smuggling in a box of m&ms is more fun than you can shake a stick at! You are heading to a ballpark. Fun casual and most unique. (oh if you are heading to an open air stadium...what happens if you are rained out? The stadium bucks won''t do you any good then, The food at the house would be a life saver.) I am just saying, you don''t have to follow tradition for an non traditional event.

Wow, I was just adding my 2 cents...looks like I gave you everything in my wallet! Either way you''ll be fine. Really.

Whew, need a 7th inning stretch. (Hey that is an idea...forget a home buffet, offer just snacky things...and you could say dogs or whatever ordered at 7th inning stretch. Having menu at home, pregame enables you to prewrite their choice...and you can escape at the start of the 6th and turn in list...that way they know you will feed them...) You have tons of options.

We are all about ideas here...DKS
 
To add to what DKS posted about offering different options for hot dogs: most of the major ballparks now offer veggie dogs, which is a soy based version of a regular hot dog, and virtually tastes no different than a regular one!
 
Monarch...I started a hotdog thread on family and home...

DKS
 
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