Talk me out of more expensive veil please

[So_happy]

Or, if you can''t, at least give me a great argument to splurge

(so many feelings there!!!)

I ordered a veil on ebay a couple weeks ago (veilsbylana) and I like it okay. I ordered it because I didn''t want to get fussy about veils and end up spending tons of $$ on one so I ordered a fairly simple 2 tier one with seed and bugle beads along the edge for $30. I wasn''t in

with it when I got it (it''s gathered funny up top but I doubt anyone would notice and it was stiffer than I''d hoped) but I didn''t mind as it will certainly "do".

So, I had my second fitting on Tuesday (had to redo the hem to compensate for my new flat shoes) and the sales lady leaves me w the seamstress to go do whatever. She comes back in and I must have been talking down (literally.....the seamstress was at my feet w/ the hem) because when I looked up, the saleslady was putting a veil on my head. I didn''t ask her to do this but there it was on my head.

And it looked fantastic of course

. It went so beautifully with the flow of my gown (the organza on the dress emits this flow that I feel only a very sheer and soft veil can compliment).

It was very light and flowy and soft and it curved around my face just so and it was cover-the-butt-length like I wanted (the one at home came about 4" higher than that so it''s sort of covering, sort of not

). The one in the salon is also tapered in the back which I like alot wheras the one at home is pretty straight across. (My gown has tiered diagonal organza layers down the skirt so the straght across veil minimally conflicts I feel). It had Swarovski crystals along the edge and 2 crystal flower motifs that found thier place in the frame of my shoulders but inwards towards my face. Perfect. But $125. I know that''s not too too bad for a veil as I''m sure they can really be alot more costly than that but I have one in my closet now for $30!!!

I plan to wear it for the pre-ceremony pics, the ceremony, and maybe up until first dance (but may take it out before that) so that''s 3-4 hours tops.

So, tell me a veil is not important. Remind me that I''ll be wearing the sucker for only a couple hours and it''s not important. Or will I now become a 2 veil bride?????

(hey, I''ve done the gown twice, the wedding day shoes twice and even my engagement ring twice so who knows, maybe twice is the charm for Ms. So Happy here

)

 

[FireGoddess]

Oh gosh, to me a veil is not that important. And I even wore mine through most of the reception!!!! I got mine on ebay too...I couldn''t stand to spend over $100 on that sort of thing...such a rip off!!!

(Did it work?)

 

[CrookedRock]

First let me say that I am not married, still a LIW, and do not plan on having a wedding... But here is my opinion anyway...LOL! You will look at those wedding pictures for the rest of your life!!! Yes $125 may be a lot for a veil (I''m not up on these things), but you''re only doing this once!!! Might as well make it perfect, you''d hate to look back and wish that you had worn the other veil. Besides, it sounds like 2 is the lucky number!!! Good Luck! Let us know what you decide to do!

 

[akw94]

Hmmm, any pics of the two by chance? Any way that you can find something similar to the second on ebay or elsewhere?
I do think $125 is a lot of $ but maybe you could justify it by spending a bit less on something else. Is it too late to send the ebay one back to recoup the $?

 

[kimberlina13]

I say if you can afford the more expensive one that you love, I say keep it and re-sell the one to a bridal shop that has a sell back program or even back on ebay. If it makes you feel special, I say go for it.

 

[So_happy]

Date: 6/14/2007 5:45:36 PM
Author: FireGoddess
Oh gosh, to me a veil is not that important. And I even wore mine through most of the reception!!!! I got mine on ebay too...I couldn''t stand to spend over $100 on that sort of thing...such a rip off!!!

(Did it work?)

Ok, yes! Good!! You''re right. It''s tulle for creepssake! But do I want to make this decision based on my knowledge of how much it costs to make? Hmmm....

Perhaps a middle ground would be to find a nicer one on Ebay because, and I''m not being snarky here, if you had my ebay veil on and you had the feeling I did when I put it on (mind you.....I am not distorting perception based on trying on the salon veil either), you would probably be more prone to falling for another, too

Yours was probably great

I''m going to contact veilsbylana and see if she''ll be helpful.

Thank you, FG!!! Perhaps it did work............

 

[So_happy]

Date: 6/14/2007 5:55:12 PM
Author: CrookedRock
First let me say that I am not married, still a LIW, and do not plan on having a wedding... But here is my opinion anyway...LOL! You will look at those wedding pictures for the rest of your life!!! Yes $125 may be a lot for a veil (I''m not up on these things), but you''re only doing this once!!! Might as well make it perfect, you''d hate to look back and wish that you had worn the other veil. Besides, it sounds like 2 is the lucky number!!! Good Luck! Let us know what you decide to do!

I appreciate your opinion, CR!!! And all of your points are also correct. It is a once in a lifetime thing. Funny, I was the woman who didn''t even want a veil........AT ALL.........8 mos ago!!!

Where is that woman now I ask you???? lol. I''ll have to give this some more thought. Maybe look around for a good compromise or something.

 

[So_happy]

Dixie~ Yes, too much for this budget bride@!!!! I know it''s true. (pouts just a little). $30 is more my speed. And I could take that extra $100 and get better flowers or a champagne toast instead or nothing at all......I could actually put it away. Hmm............sounds like the sensible thing to do. (becomes thoughtful and slightly bummed lol)


Kimberlina~ Can I afford it technically, as in do I have the money? Yeah. Is it in my wedding budget.........oh holy crap batman NO!!!

. If I want to be a good budget bride and practice self discipline, I would do as Dixie suggests and cut something else if I just have to have it

. Will I? Gosh I don''t know. Your plan to sell one on Ebay is right on! However, I never seem to be able to make a sell there.


Hee hee, you all will think I''m insane for this one...........for things that I''ve wanted that have gone just a touch (

) over the budget I have denied myself my normal every-day treats that eat up SO much money..........I''ve actually nickel and dimed my own dang self

For example, I spent $50 on earrings for the wedding at Macy''s last week but realized we hadn''t budgeted for that (dumb on our part) so since last week, I have saved $4/day by not having my usual morning latte from Starbucks and instead I''ve made really double-strong almost-nasty but drinkable Folgers coffee at home. (I even saved my last Starbux coffee cup and put the home brew in there for comfort but I swear it''s more like a mockery of what once was

). So I should have those earrings paid off in..........uh.........5 more days??? How ridiculous am I?

I''ve also denied myself one of my bi-monthly pedis to save $60 when I bought my Nina slides. WEddings make people do strrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaannnge things, my friends

 

[allycat0303]

So_Happy,

I think you should buy it if it''s perfect. (Maybe not what you want to hear) for the following reasons:

1) For most of the ceremony the church will be looking at the back of your head (so that veil will be getting a lot of air time)
2) It will be framing your face (which I think is the most important part of you!). I would try to go more budget on shoes if anything because they are usually hidden under your dress.

Good luck!

 

[Gypsy]

OH... the exact same thing happened to me when I was on the BRINK of buying a Paula Varsalona gown. Sales woman stuck the PERFECT veil on my head and I fell in love. Didn''t even want a veil, then was going to buy one of ebay or through a veil vendor online... and BAM it was perfect-- except for the 500 price tag. Fortunately I bought my Rivini and have not been veil shipping since... AND that veil would not match this dress at all! But I soooooooo wanted that veil.

My advice? Take a step back, and some time to really think about it. Contact other veil vendors. And go to the store and get PICS of your gown WITH THAT VEIL on so that you can send pics out for replication.

 

[sumbride]

What is the perfect veil made of? is it silk tulle? or organza? There may be a reason (beyond the price tag) that you like it better, so maybe there''s hope of finding something a little less expensive.


but if it helps any, my veil was over $500! It cost almost as much as my dress!!! But the feeling that came over me when it was on was priceless... and it happened to match my champagne dress perfectly! And it made my mom cry! (which was important because she paid!) So really, even though it is expensive, it COULD be worse! My precious precious veil? Silk tulle. It''s SO soft. I hate scratchy nylon tulle. There IS a difference.

 

[FireGoddess]

It also depends on your personal circumstance - of course you don''t want anything that looks hideous on you, but it''s a lot easier to say ''I want a $400 veil'' or however much it costs when you''re not the one paying!!! We paid for our entire wedding and it was a sacrifice to scrape up all the money, so I was very insistent upon things I was okay shelling $$$ on (venue, rings, etc) and things I wasn''t (dress, veil, etc).

If a pricier veil works with your budget, it''s okay to pay more for one you love. If it doesn''t, well, let''s just say I haven''t seen my veil since, but I look at our rings every day.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 6/14/2007 9:11:40 PM
Author: FireGoddess
It also depends on your personal circumstance - of course you don''t want anything that looks hideous on you, but it''s a lot easier to say ''I want a $400 veil'' or however much it costs when you''re not the one paying!!!

So true!!! If it were me, I probably wouldn''t have picked out a veil because there were so many I didn''t like so I would have gone without. Weigh ALL your options before you plunk down the extra cash!

 

[Pandora II]

I am no one to talk as I paid £250 GBP for my veil - however it is a handmade antique lace veil from 1880 in perfect condition and I hope my younger sister and my future daughters and granddaughters will wear it. Also based on my research it was a bargain as antique veils go.

However it was a lot of $$$ to spend - especially as I'm trying to budget.

I was thinking I'd buy a dress and then sell it afterwards, so this was my something to keep. Now my friend is making my dress I'll no doubt keep it too. Yup, I'm hopeless I know! It's sure going to mean very, very cheap shoes!!

I would have been reluctant to spend more than $50 US on a modern one though. During my research I looked at pretty much everything available and I'm sure you will be able to find something similar for less online.

At the end of the day it's your call - only you will know if it is worth it to you.

 

[robbie3982]

Hmmm...if you feel like you''ll regret it if you don''t buy it, then I think you should buy it. If you think you''ll look back on it 10 years from now and not care, then don''t buy it.

I just couldn''t see spending a lot on a veil so I got mine for $20 on ebay. Mine''s definitely the scratchy not so nice tulle, but I love how the embroidery compliments my dress. I''m not thrilled with how it''s sewn onto the comb (I did it myself), but I''m hoping that my stylist will be able to pin it so it looks a bit better to me. I love how it looks in pics, though. If I didn''t, I might be inclined to buy one that I liked better.

 

[surfgirl]

You know, I was dead set against veils until I found one that matched my dress perfectly AND it was very fine, soft tulle, that''s what I liked about it because it makes it more airy and ethereal looking. I agree that you''re going to look at your photos for the rest of your life, so if you''re going to look at them and think, "woulda, shoulda, coulda", then get the pricier veil and sell the other one on Ebay.

 

[Jas12]

So Happy--i am worried this will happen to me! 10 mths ago i was NOT wanting a veil. Since then my mom has talked me into one--i let her buy the stuff she needed at a fabric store for a whopping $10 (and this is going with my 4k dress!) but since i didn''t care about the veil--i thought, you can put anything on my head. Now, 2 weeks from the wedding day--i am thinking i should have put a bit more thought into it

 

[iheartscience]

I say get the veil you love!

You can probably resell the first veil you bought on eBay so you can put that towards the veil and then keep drinking that Folgers!

You only live once and this is an important day-go for it!

 

[monarch64]

You know, you really can''t count on us enabling PSr''s to talk you out of something more expensive that you love!!!

I didn''t wear a veil at all, in fact, i tried them on when trying on dresses with my mom and MOH and BM''s and my mother says, "you are just not a veil person," LOL! I wore a tiara instead, and had a detachable train, so there was plenty of embellishment going on anyway.

I think if you''ve found a veil you really love, and it just happens to be around $100, you should get it, wear it, and love it. This isn''t a purchase you''ll end up regretting, imo.

 

[So_happy]

Oh my! SO many great responses!! As I''m reading them I can literally feel my emotional response shift between them as you all seem pretty divided lol. Aaarrrggghhh. And the points that are being made are SO fantastic (on both sides!!). Aaaarrggghhhh again.

Alleycat~ I never thought of that!!! THAT little tidbit will go on my list of pros for sure

My family and friends SO deserve to look at a silky sheer sparkly concoction instead of a poofy scratchy uneven one (the right side looks to have been made a tad higher than the left)

Gypsy~ You too??!!! I knew that lady couldn''t be trusted!!! Her smile was too sweet and her eyes gave her away

I''d get pics but I''m probably not going to try it on again until July and I''ll probably/hopefully have this settled by then.

Sumbride~ I believe it''s tulle. Symphony is the brand. It could also be due to it''s width but the ticktet on the veil only glaringly displays the PRICE and not so much on the details

. It may be that the veil is a 54" so it is much sheerer. The one in my closet is a 2T and each tier is at 72". I know that''s supposed to be "standard fullness" and not "very full" but for me it is very full. When I think about it tho, I can not imagine the Symphony veil, even at 72" feeling the same as my Ebay veil. It literally felt like wearing a feather. Hmm..........maybe that''s the material it was made of?

Firegoddess~ Very true! The thing is, our wedding budget isn''t the maximum amount of money we have........it''s just what we decided would be a reasonable (yet of course challenging at times) budget for our wedding. So, that''s the really tough part....I have the extra for it......but should I spend it? Hmm.....

Pandora~I bet your antique veil is fabulous

I love the idea that you bought it with the hopes it will continue on. And I highly doubt my Symphony, if I were to buy it, would belong in such a catergory

It is very purty, sure. But heriloom quality? I think not

And if the Symphony isn''t, well....the Ebay one certainly wouldn''t be

Robbie~ You gave me the idea to put the Ebay one on and take pics of it.....perhaps if it sparkles the way I want it too and I can jimmy the gathers around just so, it''ll look great like yours does Folks best not be touching my veil anyway so they shouldn''t know if it''s stiff or not just by looking at it

Surfgirl~ Aaarrrrghhhh!! (

) You speak the truth, woman!!!!!

Jas~ Oh my.....if this doesn''t have me searching for my credit card I don''t know what will!!!

I''m sorry this is going on for you! Do you have any time to get one now? Wanna buy mine??

Thing2of~ LOL. Bleh. Folgers. But I WILL stick to it. I feel so much better once I do this. Plus, if we want to talk about overpriced stuff.........let''s talk Starbucks!!!!

Monarch~ OH, so true, Monarch. So true. Thank you for typing your last sentence as I need to remember that. Hey......I bought CHEAP shoes.......and I''m talkin'' $20!!! Maybe that justifes splurging??

 

[NYCsparkle]

well my photographer told me not to get designs on the veil...especially edging because it is what you notice first in every pic and in black and while crystals look like black spots.

 

[sumbride]

tulle is the weave of the fabric, not the kind of fabric... there are many types of tulle. I''m betting the ebay one is nylon tulle (the cheap kind) and the one you love is most likely silk tulle (the expensive kind). The difference in feel is HUGE. If you want the floaty ethereal feel, you almost have to have the silk tulle.


so in otherwords, BUY it!

 

[So_happy]

Nycsparkle~ I thought rhinestones look like black dots in photographs but crystals actually use the light and come out sparkly or at least clear. I need to check on that because I''ve been purposefully staying away from anything with rhinestones in it.

Sumbride~ Oh, I see. Yeah, I thought I read about that somewhere eons ago and forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder

 

[mercoledi]

If it''s slightly opaque it may also be silk chiffon.

Personally I think that''s a bit much for a veil, but if you really love it and will always remember that you didn''t like the one you already own then...

 

[So_happy]

After another day to think about it I still want a different veil. I have tried my Ebay veil on 6 times the last 2 days and I put it on with the attitude that I must just be star struck by the other one and that I am going to find ALL the positives about this particular veil. Nope. Just do not like it. And, unfortunately, I never did.

The things I LIKE about my Ebay veil are the edging (clear seed and bugle beads along the edge as my gown also uses those. it sparkles just enough and it''s quite well done) and the cut (well, the attempt anyway....if it were perfectly cut it would have a lovely cascading style which I love but mine is lopsided while still cascading

) so it looks sort of like it needs to be adjusted all the time.

What I don''t like about my Ebay veil is that the top tier ends at a really funky place on me and since the veil poofs out (due to it''s poofy tulle nature I suppose) it actually appears to cut me at the elbow. And the sparkly beads don''t frame my face well because of the aforementioned lopsidedness. It is also very stiff. By this I mean that when I move my head and body from side to side the veil moves in one straight unit more or less. It''s odd looking. It doesn''t have any movement within the veil itself. Does that make any sense?

So, I am moving forward to find another veil. I do not want to pay $125 for the Symphony veil so I will start looking for alternatives. So, if anyone has any personal recommendations (I started another thread about this) where a silk tulle came out lovely but cost even half of what the Symphony would cost me, I''d love to hear it. I''m still willign to do Ebay again IF I have a personal recomendation or two Or, anyone care to sell thier fingertip one or two tier beaded edge white veil ???

 

[So_happy]

Update:

I have been trying to get Veilsbylana to exchange my present veil for another (that almost has all the things I want but still not perfect) this past week or so. Altho it sounds like she is going to oblige, she is soooooo slow about getting back to me each time we email back and forth. The veil I will exchange for is alright. It''s longer which I hoped would help the poof problem but it has dangly crystals on it instead of plain ones. I did not want any danglies on my veil but I guess I was willing to live with it to have the overal look achieved. Plus, I was hoping the crystals would sort of blend (aka disappear) into my gown''s own crystals so as not to really see them. Still haven''t solidified that deal yet but in the meantime, I kept looking for other alternatives.

I went on the Boston Knot to see if anyone there was selling thier veil. Nope. But I got a recommendation for this lady out of California that makes them and she''s very highly recommended. So I emailed with her back and forth for a couple days and I am now getting the exact thing I want for $55. Bridal Illusion (for a softer drape), the right cut, length, design, everything. Even the price is great, considering I payed $40 after shipping/handling for the veil I don''t love.

OH well, so I became a two-veil bride as well. What''s new???

Perhaps I''ll try to sell everything and try to make some money back. Right now, I''m very excited to get the veil I want at the price I want to pay. I''ll post pics of it when I get it in a week or so!!! yay!!

 

[surfgirl]

Glad to hear that So Happy is so happy about her veil now! You know, blowing $40 on a mistake veil isn''t a really big mistake so...and you can sell it too. From what you describe it hangs softly like mine, yes? I didn''t think the poofy ruffled look was very flattering. Dont know why they make them like that. It''s about YOU looking fabulous, not being hidden by a veil, right?

 

[zoebartlett]

Great news! I"m glad you found one you love. Can''t wait to see it.

 

[Gypsy]

For lurkers and future brides can you provide us with the veil lady''s information?

I''m so happy you got what you want!