The All-Important Dress

[Still_Waiting]

Do I have unrealistic expectations? Until today, I''d only spent numerous hours looking at wedding dresses online. Today, I braved my first (two) real-life encounters. I was utterly and completely unimpressed! Not only was the selection incredibly small, but the quality of the fabrics were terrible! Now, I have to admit that I didn''t go into any high-end bridal salons or anything. And I''m wondering if my small, local shops are feeling the economic pinch so don''t have much in their inventory.

Has anyone else had this experience? It''s certainly not in my budget to go high-end, so will I just have to deal with crappy and poorly draping fabrics? I''m really hoping -*fingers crossed*- to find a preowned dress. I''ve been considering hitting the designer names in hopes of finding a reasonably priced preowned one. But I''m so scared that I''ll fall in love with a dress I never find or can''t possibly purchase full-price. It seems an awfully risky move. I''ve read that one should never start trying on dresses outside the budget. Are all wedding dresses gigantic and heavy? Maybe I just need to readjust my expectations. I swear, though, when I dress shopped with my sister that this wasn''t always the case.

 

[iheartscience]

What style of dress are you looking for? I''m sure everyone can chime in with good designers to check out who have good fabrics but not insane prices.

One that comes to mind immediately is J. Crew. They have a lot of gorgeous silk gowns for under $1000 and some even under $500, but their dresses are obviously more on the simple side. Same with Nicole Miller. And I remember being surprised with Pronovias pricing. They''re definitely not cheap, but the prices aren''t that high, either.

 

[ladypirate]

Still Waiting, I felt the same way when I first went and tried on dresses. It was like "Seriously, I'm expected to pay $2500 for this???" I ended up going with a local designer who was very reasonable (around $1000) and used all silk fabrics that were fair trade. I was so much happier than if I had bought one of the made-in-china polyester dresses that were in the same price range.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Yeah, I went to some nice salons, and got the same feeling. The dresses felt heavy, never quite took my breath away, and after a few they all started looking the same

I realized the only "traditional" wedding gowns I seemed to really like were the ones I couldn't really justify in terms of budget (I really wasn't comfortable spending over 2k of my parents' or fiance's money on a dress, and I'm a student with income = 0 so saving up myself wasn't an option).

So instead I went with something untraditional but loved, and had it custom made. It's not the most amazing dress ever and won't appear in any magazines, but it was perfect for me and my wedding. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just spent the money to get the designer dresses I drooled over, but then I see my wedding photos and think of the story behind my dress, and it makes me smile. So happy ending, despite the disappointing dress hunting initially.

I hope you find a dress you love! Or get one made (the silver lining in the economic pinch, is that custom made might be a more affordable option these days).

 

[sonnyjane]

I went to David''s Bridal for my dress when I got married. I know that on this board, that''s considered kind of low-end, but they really did have quite a lot of selection, and my sales attendant was quite nice. I didn''t want a "gigantic and heavy" dress as you put it, and they had a lot of dresses that were not. I also got a lace dress, because it looked a little more expensive than some of the satin ones I''d tried on. My dress came out to be $555 (thought it was a cool number) after alterations. I think you just need to go to places that have much larger selections!

Good luck!

 

[ChemGeek]

Check out yourdreamdress.com. Kim is the woman who sells the dresses and sells high-end designer sample gowns. Most of them come in a size 10 (some bigger, some smaller) but almost all can be altered (and everyone knows wedding dresses run small to begin with!) Some of them are still quite expensive, but definitely not all of them! I got my dress from her and knew I could have never had that dress had it not been a sample. It had never been worn to a wedding or altered either. Also try preownedweddingdresses.com, or idonowidont.com. Hopefully you will find the amazing fabrics you''re looking for without the huge pricetag! Good Luck!

 

[Haven]

My first dress shopping trip was really discouraging. I looked horrible in every dress, so when I found one that was completely not my style yet flattering, I bought it. Thankfully, a series of things happened that made it possible for me to back out of the purchase. I went to David''s Bridal for this trip.

THEN, I went to a really nice dress shop and found my dream dress. The fabrics were beautiful, and the dresses were so well made and designed that I looked like a million bucks in every single dress I put on.

Give it another go at a different shop. The differences many shock you.

 

[House Cat]

It is true that higher end dresses are cut in a way that are so much more flattering. You can find this cut in a more middle of the road price range too. I think this is why the Pronovias lines are so popular. Most dresses run in the $1500 to $2500 range but they are cut beautifully and they use high quality fabric. Some of the gowns tend to feel a bit heavy, but those are the more elaborate, satin gowns.

Maggie Sottero gowns always fit nicely because of their corset. The corset also cuts down on alterations costs. There are a few gowns in the line that are light. They are the more sheath, lace gowns.

If you are looking for high end, lighter gowns, Melissa Sweet is where you should be looking. I found all of her gowns to be very easy to wear. They felt light as a feather compared to other gowns I've tried on and they all looked beautiful. Lazaro and Jim Hjelm gowns felt pretty good too.

The lightest and most comfortable gown I tried on was the Vineyard Maeve. It was a beautiful and flattering gown. Unfortunately it wasn't quite what I was looking for.

I would look around at the used gown websites and see what is available first. Then I would head to the bridal shop and ask to try on those specific gowns. Stay away from anything that isn't available on those sites because you don't want to fall in love with something out of your price range.

 

[cleokizzy]

i don''t think your being unrealistic! imho, your planning for a special day and you have every right to choose to wear something that is reallllyyyy beautiful.

since you mentioned that was your first (2) trips, then shop around more - you cant generalize that all the bridal shops in your area are not-so-good based on just 2 shops. give the others a chance

on a different note, have you checked designer sample sales in your area? you could get a nice designer gown for a fraction of the cost. also check out Preownedweddingdress and Oncewed for preowned gowns! They have a lot of designer gowns there.

 

[ts44]

I found Casablanca dresses to be very well fitting and the fabrics were nicer to the touch than other dresses in the same price point. The ones I tried on were a little heavier but it didn''t feel "bulky" if you know what I mean. I would recommend Casablanca to anybody in a heartbeat. I second the Lazaro and Jim Hjelm and also add Alvina Valenta to that. Melissa Sweet gowns are really light as a feather, it''s astonishing considering the detail. Christos too, but those were very pricey. I got sticker shock after I tried on the Christos "Bella." Gorgeous gown but holy buckets, the pricetag on that one.

 

[Miya03]

I think the La Sposa line is part of Provonovias. La Sposa has dresses that are around 800-1300 and are made beatifully, of good quality satin and dupioni silk. I was pleasantly surprised by them.

Also, in terms of comfort, by far the most comfortable dresses that I have tried on were made by LeAnn Belter. They were more expensive (2500-3300 or so) but if you want to feel like you''re wearing a cloud, try them on. Amazing.

If you don''t want "traditional" or "heavy" wedding gowns, maybe look for dresses made for destination weddings? Some shops have their own line of "destination gowns." One that comes to mind is Winnie Couture. Personally, when I went to the store, I found their more traditional dresses to be overpriced for what I thought was inferior quality fabric (as compared to the La Sposa line), however, they had beautiful, lightweight silk destination dresses that were divine. Maybe look at them online and get some inspiration.

 

[sunnyd]

Hey SW! I read that you''re in WA (me too!

). If you like the Pronovias lines at all, check out Princess Bride in Bothell. They had a ton of dresses, and the line is pretty affordable. I got my San Patrick dress at the January bridal show and it was half off! Good luck!

 

[neatfreak]

I''ll second Casablanca as another line of affordable but very nice dresses. They are very flattering and felt a lot nicer in hand than a lot of other brands at similar price points.

 

[Still_Waiting]

A big THANK YOU to all of you for responding and giving me some encouragement! I was so excited to finally dive into the dress shopping, but when it ended up so disappointing it kind of freaked me out a little. It doesn''t help that I was hoping it''d cheer me up after seeing my FI off to Japan for two weeks. I probably was expecting more than I should have.

I will definitely use all your advice. I''m also relieved to know that I''m not the only one to experience this. Thank you so much for giving me the encouragement I was looking for! PS girls to the rescue once again!!!

 

[katamari]

Most big cities also have bridal consignment shops. Don''t forget to consider those as an option!

Dress shopping was quite a let down for me, too, but you will find one!

 

[Still_Waiting]

I only had a minute or two to respond the other day so I wanted a add a bit more...

I''m feeling reassured that I''ve been looking at some of your (many of you, anyway!) recommended brands. I''m head-over-heals for Pronovias'' Spring 2009 line, but I was thinking that they''re a lot more expensive than perhaps they really are? I thought I''d be looking at close to $5000. I''m a religious preowneddresses.com searcher and the used ones still go for about $1000 or more. Maybe $5000 was a bit higher than I should have guessed. I''d love to find a pre-owned dress...I love the idea of some other bride sharing her joy with me, it''s a more "green" option, and, of course the savings. Although I realize it does not come without risk.

There are also many Maggie dresses that I like. So that''ll definitely be something I''ll check out. I haven''t looked much at Casablanca so I''ll have to look into that, too.

We''re getting married on the beach in Mexico, so it''s a destination wedding. But I haven''t found a single "Destination Wedding Dress" that I''ve liked enough to actually go hunt out. I dream of lace or a really flowy, layered, chiffon type gown. I don''t want the simple slip-dress style. I could wear that style for any party. I still want to feel like a bride, but without all the extra weight! There were quite a few dresses in the 2009 Pronovias line that gave me some hope, but I''m concerned I may not be able to find them.

To be completely honest, I''m thinking I won''t have more than $1000 for dress and alterations. So I think I''ll be a bit more limited in my options. But, like I said, I''m definitely in favor of going pre-owned so maybe, just maybe, I''ll find my perfect dress within my budget!

sunnyd-I''m actually in Vancouver, so Portland is my metro area, but what better excuse for a Seattle-area trip than my wedding dress?! Thanks for the tip! (And I totally LOVE your dress!!! You looked amazing!)

Thanks again to all of you. I really do appreciate you gals taking the time to help reassure and help me! I''ll keep my chin up and just keep on lookin''!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

For $1,000 and under, I''d look for Casablanca and Allure bridal gowns. Some Allure gowns are not the most beautiful, but they make some gorgeous dresses as well. Also, Maggie Sottero and Sottero Midgley both have quite a few affordable options!

 

[House Cat]

Pronovias dresses in the regular line are not $5000. They run $1000 to $2000 give or take a few hundred. The designer Pronovias gowns, Manuel Mota, Ellie Saab, etc, are more expensive. Some people on the preowned websites are dreaming with their asking prices and their dresses will just sit and sit. You can''t ask for close to retail on a site such as that. A person might as well order it new.

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 11/22/2009 9:42:17 PM
Author: House Cat
Pronovias dresses in the regular line are not $5000. They run $1000 to $2000 give or take a few hundred. The designer Pronovias gowns, Manuel Mota, Ellie Saab, etc, are more expensive. Some people on the preowned websites are dreaming with their asking prices and their dresses will just sit and sit. You can''t ask for close to retail on a site such as that. A person might as well order it new.

Ohhh...I have had my eye on a few of the Manuel Mota ones from early this year. Maybe my numbers weren''t sooo far off then.

I''ve noticed something about those preowned sites: It''s obvious who really does and does not want to sell their dress. I''ve often wondered if some people put a fake "Price Paid" number up in hopes that some bride will just see their dress as a "bargain." I''d fully do my research before sending off my money to a private seller. Well, any seller for that matter!

Thank you for your help!

 

[ts44]

Date: 11/22/2009 7:14:01 PM
Author: Still_Waiting
I

We're getting married on the beach in Mexico, so it's a destination wedding. But I haven't found a single 'Destination Wedding Dress' that I've liked enough to actually go hunt out. I dream of lace or a really flowy, layered, chiffon type gown. I don't want the simple slip-dress style. I could wear that style for any party. I still want to feel like a bride, but without all the extra weight! There were quite a few dresses in the 2009 Pronovias line that gave me some hope, but I'm concerned I may not be able to find them.

I saw this dress at a salon I went to, in the Pronovias line. I didn't try it on so I don't know what the material is, and I had already decided on my dress at that point anyway but the cut of it struck me immediately. Let me see if I can find a picture.

Found one:
Pronovias "Hindu"

I don't know if it's "flowy" but when you mentioned layered chiffony this popped into my head.

I just remembered another one that I actually DID try on at a salon and it was absolutely feather-light, Marisa 815. It's floaty layers of bias-cut organza asymmetrically layered, with an a-line shape and a short sweep train, slight sweetheart neckline. There's some kind of drama with Marisa Bridals not showing their designs online, only in salons, so find a salon in your area that carries the line and see if they have it available to try on. Here's a link to a PreownedWeddingDresses site showing it: Marisa 815

 

[Still_Waiting]

Thanks! Yes, "Hindu" is one that I''ve had my eye on, but I haven''t tried any Pronovias gowns on yet. And, it''s funny, but I totally was just looking at Marisa gown (on preowned) too. I''ll have to look more into Marisa...do you happen to know their price range?

These are the other Pronovias gowns I''ve had a close eye on. I really need to just get myself down to a shop to try them on. Unfortunately, it doesn''t look like there are many shops around here that carry Pronovias...especially the fancier lines.

Chambra

Sharon

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