The Biggest Setting Mistakes?

[xxxxxx]

Hi,
I‘m in the lucky position to be able to pick a setting for a 10.5mm round colorless diamond with an antique style cut.

Now my first choice was the Margot from Erika Winters. It checked the box as a solitaire with 8 delicate prongs. But every email I got back from EW definitely made me feel more uncomfortable. Even though she does offer „custom“ projects on her homepage - she wasn’t willing to explore a custom setting for my stone. Anyway I guess there was probably things lost in translation as English isn’t my mother tongue and maybe I’m just spoiled by other vendors being overly friendly. On top of that I really wanted my diamond to be seen from the sideview, as it’s colorless. EW isn’t willing to change the Margot so I can see as much of my diamonds sideview as possible. Which is of course totally her right.

I‘m just asking myself if I’m setting myself up for frustration by getting a 5000usd setting that doesn’t tick all the boxes on my setting wishlist? Or maybe there isn’t THE perfect setting and it’s okay to make a compromise on a 5000 usd setting? Maybe I should hold out and put my diamond in cheaper setting and then live with the diamond before I splurge on a more expensive setting?


Please share „big“ mistakes you made when choosing a (forever) setting. So we can learn from them!

 

[dk168]

Much as I appreciate ring designs as intellectual properties of the designers who designed them, however, if they do not suit my own personal preferences, then I shan't part with my money just because it is a "designer" piece.

Please do not compromise, as you would only live to regret it, and 5k USD is not exactly pin money!

I would suggest to find a bench who is willing to work with you to create a design that ticks all the boxes for you.

DK

 

[missy]

If you don’t click with the vendor do not use that vendor. Listen to your gut. And your heart. There are many wonderful vendors who you can work with and with whom you will feel comfortable. Do not settle. Don’t rush into anything.

 

[yssie]

@Lessics your English is perfectly fine!

I know that Erika doesn’t like to customize existing settings - it’s either “stock design” (which she’ll adapt to fit your stone and finger size whilst preserving original aesthetic) or “fully custom” (that might be based on elements of existing style). No “semi-custom” the way a lot of vendors offer.

I adore Erika’s work. But - a big NO from me to buying a mount you just aren’t thrilled with.

I do want to say here... Although you and Erika aren’t quite clicking... In general I’d say that’s a sign, but all vendors are swamped right now. It’s the absolute busiest time of year. If you want a more conversational relationship - which I totally get, I’m the same way - I really think you’d be hard pressed to get that with anyone until after the holiday rush

My advice would be to hold off on making any decisions about either mount or vendor fit until the new year, when you’ll get a much better portrayal of what communications for your project will look like! I think realistically few vendors will take a new job until then anyway, especially time-consuming custom work.

 

[Bron357]

My very first “ring make” was my engagement ring, bought as an original Art Deco ring meaning the setting was too worn.
I decided to bezel set the main emerald cut and two side baguettes “as one” and only had a “cut out” incorporated for my wedding band.
this was a mistake because when I got my eternity band it didn’t fit “under the setting”.
the biggest mistake was realised when I needed to resize up my engagement as my ring finger got fatter. Because all 3 diamonds were bezel set as one, the changing of the ring diameter, bigger, would have “crushed” the diamonds together so I’d need to redo the bezel part.
by this time my taste has changed and I went with my own design based on what I like and what works for me. I like “flat” rings. I also ensured the setting sat up high enough off the finger to accommodate both my wedding band and eternity band.
these are important considerations I think. What other rings you want to wear alongside and how and how much you use your left hand.
my mother loved a high set solitaire however the diamond was forever falling over towards her other fingers and was in part how she managed to destroy two diamonds.

 

[LLJsmom]

Sorry to say that I'm still making them. Honestly practically every one of my settings have been mistakes, though they did not seem so at the time. Or that I have just changed my mind over the course of 2-3 years after I commit to a setting. I should probably settle for a good 5 years of being happy with a setting.

 

[xxxxxx]

My very first “ring make” was my engagement ring, bought as an original Art Deco ring meaning the setting was too worn.
I decided to bezel set the main emerald cut and two side baguettes “as one” and only had a “cut out” incorporated for my wedding band.
this was a mistake because when I got my eternity band it didn’t fit “under the setting”.
the biggest mistake was realised when I needed to resize up my engagement as my ring finger got fatter. Because all 3 diamonds were bezel set as one, the changing of the ring diameter, bigger, would have “crushed” the diamonds together so I’d need to redo the bezel part.
by this time my taste has changed and I went with my own design based on what I like and what works for me. I like “flat” rings. I also ensured the setting sat up high enough off the finger to accommodate both my wedding band and eternity band.
these are important considerations I think. What other rings you want to wear alongside and how and how much you use your left hand.
my mother loved a high set solitaire however the diamond was forever falling over towards her other fingers and was in part how she managed to destroy two diamonds.

Thank you for sharing your experience! This is what I’m afraid of destroying my diamond. My ideal setting would be 4 prongs set nsew. But this is probably crazy to do with a 10.5mm round and an active lifestyle.

 

[xxxxxx]

Much as I appreciate ring designs as intellectual properties of the designers who designed them, however, if they do not suit my own personal preferences, then I shan't part with my money just because it is a "designer" piece.

Please do not compromise, as you would only live to regret it, and 5k USD is not exactly pin money!

I would suggest to find a bench who is willing to work with you to create a design that ticks all the boxes for you.

DK

Thank you for your advice! The problem is I haven't found any bench who produce such delicate designs as Erika Winters Bench (in my opinion). I have no idea how she found this bench or how she trained them. But I haven't found any designer/bench that can rival her delicate designs. But maybe I've gotten crazy after studying ring settings and prongs for the last year

 

[xxxxxx]

If you don’t click with the vendor do not use that vendor. Listen to your gut. And your heart. There are many wonderful vendors who you can work with and with whom you will feel comfortable. Do not settle. Don’t rush into anything.

Thank you missy for you advice. Do you think you will set you diamond back into an eight prong setting? Or would you consider less prongs?

 

[xxxxxx]

@Lessics your English is perfectly fine!

I know that Erika doesn’t like to customize existing settings - it’s either “stock design” (which she’ll adapt to fit your stone and finger size whilst preserving original aesthetic) or “fully custom” (that might be based on elements of existing style). No “semi-custom” the way a lot of vendors offer.

I adore Erika’s work. But - a big NO from me to buying a mount you just aren’t thrilled with.

I do want to say here... Although you and Erika aren’t quite clicking... In general I’d say that’s a sign, but all vendors are swamped right now. It’s the absolute busiest time of year. If you want a more conversational relationship - which I totally get, I’m the same way - I really think you’d be hard pressed to get that with anyone until after the holiday rush

My advice would be to hold off on making any decisions about either mount or vendor fit until the new year, when you’ll get a much better portrayal of what communications for your project will look like! I think realistically few vendors will take a new job until then anyway, especially time-consuming custom work.

Thank you for chiming in yssie. You were the one who made me 'fall in love' with EWs attention to detail and craftsmenship. Yes I probably went into the conversation with the 'wrong attitude' after reading to much PS and thinking a designer will change and tweak a setting to my liking. I really didn't realize how that could possibly offend a designer.
I am thrilled with the Margot. The pictures of yours are such eye candy. But I am a more minimalist person that definitly doesn't like milgrain (on my own pieces) for example.
Your threads on your EW pieces really opened my eyes to the great craftsmenship and design, after that I haven't really found any other bench/designer who could rival this delicateness (in my opinion). Are you still happy with your choice of the Margot? If you would ever updgrade your stone would you pick the Margot again? Is there anything you would change about it?

 

[Roselina]

Hi! Where are you based at? I always design my settings with independent jewellers and had good experiences.

 

[missy]

Thank you missy for you advice. Do you think you will set you diamond back into an eight prong setting? Or would you consider less prongs?

Probably 8 prongs as that is my sweet number for a big OEC. I love how an 8 prong looks on a big stone.

Sorry to say that I'm still making them. Honestly practically every one of my settings have been mistakes, though they did not seem so at the time. Or that I have just changed my mind over the course of 2-3 years after I commit to a setting. I should probably settle for a good 5 years of being happy with a setting.

I have to agree with @LLJsmom. All my custom jewelry pieces have not turned out as I envisioned them and it is my fault completely. Not the benches fault. Because I am not good at translating what I want to reality. That is why, for me, I hope to find a setting that is already perfect. LOL I know that is a long shot but that is what I hope for. Or I will choose a very simple setting so minimal mistakes can be made. But that is me. And your abilities are probably very different and it sounds as if you can make a perfect custom piece for you. Don't settle if the Margot is not exactly what you want. Your dream setting is out there.

And as LLJ wisely points out our tastes evolve and change over time so even if you get the perfect setting don't beat yourself up if within a few years or so your preferences change. That happens. It is OK.

Good luck on this journey @Lessics you are not alone. I am still not sure what setting I want for Bubbalah and we are in good company as I believe @diamondseeker2006 is also debating the perfect setting for her gorgeous AVR.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I so agree with @missy and @LLJsmom ! I have made several custom projects that I absolutely love, but I can't seem to decide on a setting for the diamond I wear most! I absolutely refuse to be a serial resetter. I just cannot waste money like that. So my diamond has been in the temporary solitaire for 7.5 years. There are several conflicting thoughts that cause my indecision. One is that the daughter who will get it eventually likes more detailed settings and the diamond might need to be in a setting she could wear on her right hand. Yes, I know she could reset technically, but my ideal is to have an heirloom piece made that could be handed down. And regardless, I'd rather not have a simple solitaire, because if my husband happened to die before me, I am still wearing this diamond! lol! So it needs to be set in anything other than a solitaire! On the other hand, I don't want an over-the-top, attention grabbing kind of ring, either. It's already the largest diamond in my social circle. I only have a couple of friends with 2 ct diamonds and none over that. It's like 2 cts is the end goal for the very few people who have gotten new rings.

I will say this, it is very hard for me to decide on a setting when I cannot try them on. I wish all the custom jewelers had cheap sample rings made of some of their styles to try on...like Berricle but with their own designs!!!

Soooo, my stone may never get reset. The sad thing is, I feel like the stone is dressed in an unflattering setting and it deserves a setting that will enhance it's beauty, kind of like a model dressed in a potato sack versus a designer evening gown.

 

[bludiva]

things look different in our heads than they turn out in reality a lot of the time so it's hard not to be disappointed with some aspect of even a very meticulously made custom piece imho. in my experience, sitting with it for a while lets it grow on you and many times you come to like it as-is. agree with all the advice to find a vendor you click with for a high-end custom purchase and no rush, you could always do an inexpensive temporary setting in the meanwhile so you can really take your time.

 

[dk168]

I have had 2 setting mistakes.

One was for a ring in a very wide band being made too small as I did not appreciate there could be a difference of at least 1 US size between a narrow band and a wide band ring on the same finger. The ring had to be re-made.

I have addressed this by purchasing a second set of metal ring sizers for 5mm wedding ring bands.

The second was not realising deep stones would sit high on the finger, therefore, some details (nothing too ornate) would need to be added to the gallery in order to make the side view a bit more interesting.

One ring would need to be remade, and I have learnt to add some details to the gallery for the bigger and deeper stones going forward.

I have avoided a potentially huge setting mistake with my 9mm Rubellite ringdant project. After a few attempts, the CADs just did not look right with the stone sitting too high for my liking. So I abandoned the idea for a ringdant, and it is being set as a ring instead.

I am learning from my mistakes as I go alone, in the hope not to make the same ones twice!

DK

 

[yssie]

Thank you for chiming in yssie. You were the one who made me 'fall in love' with EWs attention to detail and craftsmenship. Yes I probably went into the conversation with the 'wrong attitude' after reading to much PS and thinking a designer will change and tweak a setting to my liking. I really didn't realize how that could possibly offend a designer.
I am thrilled with the Margot. The pictures of yours are such eye candy. But I am a more minimalist person that definitly doesn't like milgrain (on my own pieces) for example.
Your threads on your EW pieces really opened my eyes to the great craftsmenship and design, after that I haven't really found any other bench/designer who could rival this delicateness (in my opinion). Are you still happy with your choice of the Margot? If you would ever updgrade your stone would you pick the Margot again? Is there anything you would change about it?

I don’t see anything about you or your post that says wrong attitude! You want a setting you love, and you want to work with a jeweller you have a friendly relationship with - nothing wrong with either of those in my book

Erika will definitely customize - it’s just a bit different in that (in my understanding) if there are material design changes, she considers it a fully custom piece even if it’s based on an existing style. No worries there! And I’m completely confident you didn’t offend her. I think she’s probably just too busy right now to give new customer projects the sort of introduction and undivided attention that she normally does. I don’t chitchat with her randomly the way I do with some other jewellers, but our conversations are always friendly and her work is meticulous. No project detail will go unattended or slip through the cracks. I appreciate that so much.

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts on my pieces!! One day I will upgrade my e-ring, and I’ll be putting the new stone right back into another Margot. I love this setting - it’s the first one I’ve ever felt fully at peace with, even years later! I’m totally biased but I’m hoping you do decide to reach out to her again start of next year, I think she could work magic with your tastes and your stone

 

[jaaron]

I had the same experience with Erika Winters. I love her craftsmanship and aesthetic, but asked if it was possible to have a few tweaks to an existing design and the answer was no. Even though the website says to contact about custom, they didn't accompany the rejection with an offer to discuss a fully custom piece, so I just assumed it was stock or nothing? And this was several months back, so not the busy season.

 

[Madamx747]

My biggest pieces of advice from owning 3 different engagement rings is that
1. Style is everything - if you know what you want don’t compromise.
2. make sure your main diamond is set up high enough so thatyour band doesn’trub against your diamond and scratch. I have had diamond on diamond scratching happen because the band was rubbing the stone and it’s not fun to have to recut a stone and polish the scratches out
3. Consider your lifestyle and wether your ring would stand up to every day wear. After wearing a ring with high settings and larger prongs you may be annoyed with prongs snagging and your setting possibly hitting things while you are active.
4. type of metal... this is big... white gold has to be re-dipped over the years to stay nice and crisp, rose gold is softer so it scratches more... platinum scratches easily but never tarnishes or fades so....If you’re going to do gold in any color opt for 18 k it’s stronger than 14k.

 

[yssie]

I had the same experience with Erika Winters. I love her craftsmanship and aesthetic, but asked if it was possible to have a few tweaks to an existing design and the answer was no. Even though the website says to contact about custom, they didn't accompany the rejection with an offer to discuss a fully custom piece, so I just assumed it was stock or nothing? And this was several months back, so not the busy season.

I'm sorry and surprised to read this! I have no insight, but I hope you were able to find the perfect design for your stone(s) elsewhere!

Edit - I found your SMTB thread and your ring is gorgeous, so I've answered my own question with a resounding YES

 

[123ducklings]

If you’re going to do gold in any color opt for 18 k it’s stronger than 14k.

18k has a higher gold content, making it desirable for that reason and also softer than 14k.

 

[yssie]

What metal and method of manufacture is "stronger" really depends on whether we're defining soft vs. hard as measures of plasticity/elasticity or scratch-resistance. Or something else!
And what metal and method of manufacture is "better" also depends on the type of piece being made...
I personally would probably just give my jeweller my priorities and ask for a metal recommendation, and let him figure it out

 

[xxxxxx]

I had the same experience with Erika Winters. I love her craftsmanship and aesthetic, but asked if it was possible to have a few tweaks to an existing design and the answer was no. Even though the website says to contact about custom, they didn't accompany the rejection with an offer to discuss a fully custom piece, so I just assumed it was stock or nothing? And this was several months back, so not the busy season.

Yes I was really disappointed that her website stated a custom option, but then she actually isn’t open to custom projects. She could explain at least why she states it on her website, but then declines specific customers. Your new setting is beautiful!

 

[xxxxxx]

I so agree with @missy and @LLJsmom ! I have made several custom projects that I absolutely love, but I can't seem to decide on a setting for the diamond I wear most! I absolutely refuse to be a serial resetter. I just cannot waste money like that. So my diamond has been in the temporary solitaire for 7.5 years. There are several conflicting thoughts that cause my indecision. One is that the daughter who will get it eventually likes more detailed settings and the diamond might need to be in a setting she could wear on her right hand. Yes, I know she could reset technically, but my ideal is to have an heirloom piece made that could be handed down. And regardless, I'd rather not have a simple solitaire, because if my husband happened to die before me, I am still wearing this diamond! lol! So it needs to be set in anything other than a solitaire! On the other hand, I don't want an over-the-top, attention grabbing kind of ring, either. It's already the largest diamond in my social circle. I only have a couple of friends with 2 ct diamonds and none over that. It's like 2 cts is the end goal for the very few people who have gotten new rings.

I will say this, it is very hard for me to decide on a setting when I cannot try them on. I wish all the custom jewelers had cheap sample rings made of some of their styles to try on...like Berricle but with their own designs!!!

Soooo, my stone may never get reset. The sad thing is, I feel like the stone is dressed in an unflattering setting and it deserves a setting that will enhance it's beauty, kind of like a model dressed in a potato sack versus a designer evening gown.

Wouldn't it be worth it to have the diamond set just for approx. the next 15 years? I mean obviously only if the current setting is bothering you a bit. If your husband would happen to die before you, you still could have it reset from the solitaire to a more intricate non solitaire setting for yourself, which would also suit you daughter then later on. I think it's very sweet how you are even considering your daughters preferences in your setting. I think your beautiful diamond definitley would deserve two settings. Once in a beautiful complementing solitaire and maybe later in its life in a beautiful non solitaire setting.

That would be such a great idea! I also used a berricle ring to determine the size diamond I want, so I wouldnt have to go through the hassle of upgrading after a year or two. I understand the urge to get it right the first time.

 

[xxxxxx]

I don’t see anything about you or your post that says wrong attitude! You want a setting you love, and you want to work with a jeweller you have a friendly relationship with - nothing wrong with either of those in my book

Erika will definitely customize - it’s just a bit different in that (in my understanding) if there are material design changes, she considers it a fully custom piece even if it’s based on an existing style. No worries there! And I’m completely confident you didn’t offend her. I think she’s probably just too busy right now to give new customer projects the sort of introduction and undivided attention that she normally does. I don’t chitchat with her randomly the way I do with some other jewellers, but our conversations are always friendly and her work is meticulous. No project detail will go unattended or slip through the cracks. I appreciate that so much.

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts on my pieces!! One day I will upgrade my e-ring, and I’ll be putting the new stone right back into another Margot. I love this setting - it’s the first one I’ve ever felt fully at peace with, even years later! I’m totally biased but I’m hoping you do decide to reach out to her again start of next year, I think she could work magic with your tastes and your stone

I really want Erika to make my setting. I'm so set on it and I also want/ need it to happen in the next weeks (the ordering of the setting). I just would love to have the margot without the shields in the basket. I find them so intriguing, but I from looking at pictures I have the feeling they do block the diamonds sideview a bit. Would you says thats right? If your ring wouldn't have the shields, would you see more of your diamond from the side? Erika won't make the margot without the shields I really dont know which way to go.

 

[lissyflo]

Wouldn't it be worth it to have the diamond set just for approx. the next 15 years? I mean obviously only if the current setting is bothering you a bit. If your husband would happen to die before you, you still could have it reset from the solitaire to a more intricate non solitaire setting for yourself, which would also suit you daughter then later on. I think it's very sweet how you are even considering your daughters preferences in your setting. I think your beautiful diamond definitley would deserve two settings. Once in a beautiful complementing solitaire and maybe later in its life in a beautiful non solitaire setting.

That would be such a great idea! I also used a berricle ring to determine the size diamond I want, so I wouldnt have to go through the hassle of upgrading after a year or two. I understand the urge to get it right the first time.

I agree. But I’d also never realised that some widows don’t continue wearing their wedding set as is. My mum still wears hers 25 years later and it had never occurred to me that that wasn’t normal or at least a common occurrence. I think I’d want to continue to enjoy my ring in whatever setting it had been in during marriage, so I say choose whatever your heart desire DS!

 

[MWM]

A dedicated maker will, too often, suffer pain inflicted by those whom we endeavor to protect from their own folly.

 

[xxxxxx]

A dedicated maker will, too often, suffer pain inflicted by those whom we endeavor to protect from their own folly.

I hope it’s okay with you yssie that I’m using one of your pictures. Maybe @MWM you could explain me why forgoing these shields in the basket is my own folly

 

[LightBright]

Lessics, regarding “the shields“ in “The Margot”. Your diamond is going to look fantastic in that setting. If you want the high quality and detailing of an Erika Winters ring, I think you should go ahead and get that specific ring for your diamond.

If you want that designer and that ring, don’t skimp on the front end. Get what you want. Then wear it for a while.

Ericka Winters uses a lot of sharp, almost Gothic style detailing, and those shields are part of that ethos. The shields contribute to the style of the setting. They might actually look wonderful in real life and your diamond might look perfectly accessorized while also being exposed.

After a while, if you you still don’t like the shields, have a high quality jeweler saw them off. The swoopy swoops and the eight prongs seem protective as they are. Consult an excellent jeweler for the security of your gem before doing anything but... who would know?

...My personal rant... for $5,000 a designer should be able to figure out a way to accommodate a customer with a small design detail like that unless the ring is already finished. If it can’t be done, well... take matters into your own hands (using a skilled jeweler) and don’t share here. Sorry if this makes anyone angry. What makes me annoyed is that life is too short -and you should be able to admire a beautiful pavilion the way you want.

 

[joelly]

EW is not the only designer in the world. I won’t give my hard-earned money to someone who is rude to me.

what about David Klass?

 

[xxxxxx]

Lessics, regarding “the shields“ in “The Margot”. Your diamond is going to look fantastic in that setting. If you want the high quality and detailing of an Erika Winters ring, I think you should go ahead and get that specific ring for your diamond.

If you want that designer and that ring, don’t skimp on the front end. Get what you want. Then wear it for a while.

Ericka Winters uses a lot of sharp, almost Gothic style detailing, and those shields are part of that ethos. The shields contribute to the style of the setting. They might actually look wonderful in real life and your diamond might look perfectly accessorized while also being exposed.

After a while, if you you still don’t like the shields, have a high quality jeweler saw them off. The swoopy swoops and the eight prongs seem protective as they are. Consult an excellent jeweler for the security of your gem before doing anything but... who would know?

...My personal rant... for $5,000 a designer should be able to figure out a way to accommodate a customer with a small design detail like that unless the ring is already finished. If it can’t be done, well... take matters into your own hands (using a skilled jeweler) and don’t share here. Sorry if this makes anyone angry. What makes me annoyed is that life is too short -and you should be able to admire a beautiful pavilion the way you want.

Thank you for sharing your opinion! I will have EW make the setting. I know that even a temp setting would be wasted money as I would eventually want and get the EW. I love your idea of sawing of the shields. I would be lying if I hadn’t thought about just that already But I will first live with the setting like you have suggested and then maybe in a few years if the shields really annoy me and I find a really good goldsmith, maaaaybe have them removed

Reading your response definitely made me feel more understood!