The engagement is inevitable but the ring hasn''t been discussed...what to do?!!

[Bia]

Okay. We have been discussing the engagement thing VERY SERIOUSLY (he has been initiating!!!) for the last two months. He wants to marry me, that we know. Now its a matter of time. Could be 3 months, could be 6 months. The problem is, I know he has no idea as to what kind of ring I might like and I don't really want to touch the issue because I want him to be EASY about the whole thing...meaning not pressured. The one good thing in my favor is that my future sister-in-law (brother's fiance) knows what I like and since brother and BF are getting pretty tight, he might ask them. Also, his mother is a big time DIAMOND GIRL...she knows the real deal between nice and REALLY NICE.

Any advice?

Thanks in Advance!

 

[choro72]

If you two have been discussing engagement VERY seriously as you put it, then I see no reason why he should be pressured with the ring topic

It''s an enormous purchase, and too important to be handled "easily" in my opinion. Besides, if you have no idea what you want and you''re going to be happy with anything you get, that''s easy already! I think it''s safe to suggesting a few things such as talking to his mother and your FSIL.

 

[gwendolyn]

Well, it''s my view that giving him some direction might help ease the process, not complicate it. There are SO many options that even if you just said "round stones are my favourite, and I like white gold" that would possibly make his job a LOT easier. If you''d rather not say anything, then maybe drop hints to the people you think he''d talk to? I think this is the sort of process that *can* be as easy or as hard as you want to make it, depending on what''s important to you. Sounds like an exciting time!!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Agree with Gwendolyn….just letting him know what shapes you like and if you favor a particular setting or metal. I know I’ve told my man I would be happy with a sapphire or a diamond, that I like pave, split shank and halo’s and that I’ve got a crush on asscher cuts. I figured that was enough information (given in tib bits here and there) to at least steer him towards what I really want!

I also found a ring I love and set it as a shortcut on the internet on our Wii. So every time he uses the Wii to hop on-line (which is fairly regularly) my dream ring is right there

 

[KCCutie]

I would say just ask him if he would like your help.

My SO just shortened our engagement time line by 6-7 months so everything just seems to be clipping along. Originally I told him I wanted whoever I married to pick out the ring himself b/c if he loves me that much he should know me enough to know what I would like. Now I''m thinking I''d be happy to give him a few basic suggestions like the shape I like etc. So last night I asked him if he would like it if I gave him some ideas. He wasn''t upset or pressured he just said "No" he said he knew enough about what I liked and that was that. I''m fine with that b/c I trust him completely but had he said "Oh Thanks God! I was hoping you would help me a little." I would have been happy to tell him what I think I would like.

Maybe he thinks he has to do it all on his own and doesn''t even know you''d be willing to offer help. It can''t hurt to let him know you''re open to helping him if he wants your help.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 4/3/2008 4:52:53 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

I also found a ring I love and set it as a shortcut on the internet on our Wii. So every time he uses the Wii to hop on-line (which is fairly regularly) my dream ring is right there

I think my boyfriend would kill me if I did something like this!! He thinks that whenever I bring up "the ring" I''m trying to ruin some surprise that he''s planning. (But, in order for there to be a surprise, he''d have to plan it, and actually get a ring, so...)

 

[Bia]

UPDATE!!!


On Saturday, while just hanging around at home (he--adding music to his iTunes and me--browsing the web), I managed to subtly ask him what his favorite style of diamond ring was? Actually, thinking about it just now, maybe it wasn't that subtle--God, I am obsessed!

Anyway, he proceeded to tell me he liked "simple, like his sister's ring," meaning a solitaire. That made me so happy because that is exactly my style. So I was browsing the Tiffany web site (those rings are GORGEOUS) and I said, "What do you think about this style?" It was basically the tiffany classic setting with a beautiful round solitaire--The ring I am secretly hoping for!--Not so much looking for a Tiffany ring (although how could I not) but more so, the type of ring. Anyway, he was smiling like he felt it was time to indulge my state of euphoria. So he sat next to me and started pointing out styles that he liked for me and kept saying "yea, I think this one's nice..." Then he said"How's a 1/4 carat?" Where I just raised my eyebrows and he laughed.
So, I think its safe to say that he knows what I like and now I don't have to think about it until it happens (as if that were possible).
I HOPE SOON!!!

Thanks ladies for your help...we are all waiting in this thing together.

 

[gwendolyn]

That''s great news, congrats!