MoonWater
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2007
- Messages
- 3,158
I thought this was interesting, but it certainly didn''t make me want a diamond ring less: http://www.slate.com/id/2167870/
Haha me too! I would so buy him a ring but there is no way in hell he''d wear it. I''m actually surprised we found a Wband he liked. Also, I totally LOVE that a ring on my finger tells guys to LEAVE ME ALONE! That''s exactly why I wore my first anni present (a pink sapphire ring) on my finger for 4 years. Originally, it was because it was too big for my right hand but then when I realized I was getting harrassed a lot less, I left it there. I swear, I would get harrassed so often it drove me mad. I''ve noticed that not one guy has hit on me since I got the real thing. WOO HOO!! Bling bling all in your face, leave me alone! lolDate: 5/13/2008 5:13:42 PM
Author: KCCutie
Me Either!
I''d be more than happy to buy my SO an engagement ring if he''d actually want one and actually wear it.
I don''t care what the old traditions say I like having a ring on my finger that tells everyone I''m taken (in fact I sometimes wear a fake one when I don''t want to be bothered).
Ok, the more I read from you, the more I want to move to Ireland.Date: 5/14/2008 2:01:30 PM
Author: Delster
We have laws that protect marital property. For example, a family home must be in joint names, and one spouse can''t sell the home without the express written consent of the other. Some (not all) of these protections are extended to engaged couples - here''s an example.
ETA - the requirement to produce a ring as evidence is an old common law rule, and I believe that evolved from the case law charted in the article under discussion.
I''m...not sure that''s what was meant by that comment. I have been wearing a ring that my boyfriend gave me--not an engagement ring, we''re going to shop together and buy it together--and it tends to let guys know where they stand if they interpret a ring on a woman''s finger as something that a significant other has given her. This is not the case with all guys, but most will see a ring, assume that she''s taken, and not hit on her. Some ladies get hit on more often when they don''t wear a ring because more guys assume she is available. It''s like a sign to guys for them not to bother hitting on her because she''s not interested. I think extending that to assume that women without rings feel free to screw around or that men want to ''locking their fiancees away'' by giving them a ring is seeing the worst in Moonwater''s statement.Date: 5/14/2008 4:34:03 PM
Author: rob09
''Also, I totally LOVE that a ring on my finger tells guys to LEAVE ME ALONE!''
Good point Moonwater. I think that the idea that, without a ring, women would be as likely or more ''free'' to screw around quite insulting. Same for men who apparently don''t have anything else in mind than locking their fiancees away and having a good time with the (other) ladies. Give me a break.
Yeah that was a pretty bad thing to think. Shame! What''s the point in getting married in the first place when you look at it like that.Date: 5/14/2008 4:34:03 PM
Author: rob09
''Also, I totally LOVE that a ring on my finger tells guys to LEAVE ME ALONE!''
Good point Moonwater. I think that the idea that, without a ring, women would be as likely or more ''free'' to screw around quite insulting. Same for men who apparently don''t have anything else in mind than locking their fiancees away and having a good time with the (other) ladies. Give me a break.
Thanks for the defense Gwen but I'm pretty sure the author of the article implied that's what the ring/lack of ring meant.Date: 5/14/2008 5:09:12 PM
Author: gwendolyn
I'm...not sure that's what was meant by that comment. I have been wearing a ring that my boyfriend gave me--not an engagement ring, we're going to shop together and buy it together--and it tends to let guys know where they stand if they interpret a ring on a woman's finger as something that a significant other has given her. This is not the case with all guys, but most will see a ring, assume that she's taken, and not hit on her. Some ladies get hit on more often when they don't wear a ring because more guys assume she is available. It's like a sign to guys for them not to bother hitting on her because she's not interested. I think extending that to assume that women without rings feel free to screw around or that men want to 'locking their fiancees away' by giving them a ring is seeing the worst in Moonwater's statement.Date: 5/14/2008 4:34:03 PM
Author: rob09
'Also, I totally LOVE that a ring on my finger tells guys to LEAVE ME ALONE!'
Good point Moonwater. I think that the idea that, without a ring, women would be as likely or more 'free' to screw around quite insulting. Same for men who apparently don't have anything else in mind than locking their fiancees away and having a good time with the (other) ladies. Give me a break.
Come on over! The sun is shining over here today and really there''s nowhere else like Ireland on a sunny day! I love it here!Date: 5/14/2008 2:50:52 PM
Author: MoonWater
Ok, the more I read from you, the more I want to move to Ireland.Date: 5/14/2008 2:01:30 PM
Author: Delster
We have laws that protect marital property. For example, a family home must be in joint names, and one spouse can''t sell the home without the express written consent of the other. Some (not all) of these protections are extended to engaged couples - here''s an example.
ETA - the requirement to produce a ring as evidence is an old common law rule, and I believe that evolved from the case law charted in the article under discussion.
Just out of curiousity, how do guys in Ireland meet women if they''re always too shy to walk over and chat, or ask for phone numbers? Do they only meet through other friends introductions? Wow, that makes dating kinda hardDate: 5/15/2008 12:12:45 PM
Author: Delster
I don''t get the whole ''the ring will make guys leave me alone'' thing. I literally never have that problem. Maybe this is a cultural thing. Irish guys are very shy and extremely polite. I have literally never had an Irish guy walk up to me in a bar and start chatting to me, or send over a drink, or ask for my phone number. It just doesn''t happen here. And I''m not sure the engagement ring would work anyways, as most of them have no idea what finger it goes on, and would simply never check.
Date: 5/14/2008 2:48:38 PM
Author: MoonWater
Date: 5/13/2008 5:13:42 PM
Author: KCCutie
Me Either!
I''d be more than happy to buy my SO an engagement ring if he''d actually want one and actually wear it.
I don''t care what the old traditions say I like having a ring on my finger that tells everyone I''m taken (in fact I sometimes wear a fake one when I don''t want to be bothered).
Haha me too! I would so buy him a ring but there is no way in hell he''d wear it. I''m actually surprised we found a Wband he liked. Also, I totally LOVE that a ring on my finger tells guys to LEAVE ME ALONE! That''s exactly why I wore my first anni present (a pink sapphire ring) on my finger for 4 years. Originally, it was because it was too big for my right hand but then when I realized I was getting harrassed a lot less, I left it there. I swear, I would get harrassed so often it drove me mad. I''ve noticed that not one guy has hit on me since I got the real thing. WOO HOO!! Bling bling all in your face, leave me alone! lol
LOL you are too funny. I think you mentioned this watch before. I wish my FI wanted a watch, I would be happy to buy him one.Date: 5/15/2008 6:57:38 PM
Author: ladypirate
My guy doesn't wear much jewelry (actually, no jewelry except a watch, although he says he'll have no problem with a wedding ring), but he's super excited about getting a really high-end watch as an engagement gift. I think I've posted about it before, but when he first found out I wanted to buy him a watch as an engagement gift, his reaction was 'That's awesome! Then if I get hit on, I can be like, 'back off, lady--didn't you see the watch?'
Ha! It''s so funny you brought this topic up. I have a friend I''ve been discussing this with recently. She''s from Lithuania and is rather shocked at the lack of chivalry in the States which seems to be a result of equality for women. She doesn''t understand why equal rights for women translates into men not being able to hold a door or pay for dinner occasionally. I agree, it should go both ways but equality shouldn''t mean men can simply be rude. Geez.Date: 5/16/2008 5:54:27 PM
Author: Circe
A friend of mine who''s an ardent feminist has an interesting take on a related issue: she says, ''As long as I''m making 70 cents on a man''s dollar, he can damn well pick up the tab on dates.'' I ... have mixed feelings about this, because I think it can contribute to a ''having-it-both-ways'' take on gender relations (equality AND all the privileges of traditional femininity), but, despite those mixed feelings, I still have an engagement ring that I love. Then again, so did my sweetie ... like KCCutie, I''m with a Swede, so we observed both traditions: I wore a traditional engagement ring, and we both wore matching engagement bands. I think there can be some awkwardness surrounding the ring: it *is* a demonstration of the man''s wealth as it''s typically enacted, it is somewhat one-way, it is a constructed tradition. But, we have to pick our battles ... and with this one, I honestly don''t think the answer is the eradication of all chivalry. I think the answer is the introduction of parity ... with women holding doors for men TOO, and buying dinner for men TOO, and, yes, providing engagement rings TOO. It''ll be interesting to see how matters stand in 20 years or so ....