The Vent Thread

[Independent Gal]

Anyone care for a vent? Let''s load ''em on here.

Who else out there has had it up to the ears with all this wedding cr@p? I''m really getting fed up with it all. I just want the day(s) to be here (oh, the irony!), for the whole thing to be over and us just to be married. I''m just sick of dealing with bad behaviour and coping with my crazy aunt F''s antics - she just threw a tantrum because my dad told her she couldn''t take her random weirdo friend to the wedding because I hadn''t invited him. And I really just can''t make myself care enough about decor and colours and things to get anything serious done. And the DJ just cancelled. And I don''t know what I did or said to my dad, but it takes him like a week to return my calls at the moment. He hasn''t been like that in years, so I''m assuming it''s wedding related?

At the same time, I''m trying to do my job, and trying to find a new job, and concerned about my visa status if I don''t. I don''t need a holiday. I just want some focused time to concentrate on my work and forget about the wedding. That''s all.

I am sick of the wedding! I am sick of both the weddings!

three. more. months.

OK, I''m finished. Thanks for listening! Now back to our regular scheduled programming.

Anyone else care for a vent?

 

[door knob solitaire]

Just wanted you to know I listened.

Can you go out with that long legged bird thing in your avatar (ostrich thing?) and just scream for a good 20 minutes? I mean far from everything else? I know I would if I were in your shoes...whether it was w#1 shoes or w#2 shoes. Just wanted to tell you I think your stress level has too be off the charts. Two weddings two continents...two...two ...two of everything. I can''t imagine. I just wish I could help.

What if ...we all synchronized our time zones/watches...in Belles case both...and all agreed to step out and scream in unison. I am willing. Well, if it would help you I would. I''m not going to make a fool of myself for nothing. But I am willing and I bet there are others who just might do it too. You have just got to find a release of this bent built up stuff. You are carring too much- and you are getting to a place that you can''t see the good stuff. The happy stuff needs to come back.

 

[karasue91]

haha i''m the opposite - TOTALLY fed up with work, and would love some time to just sit down and think about this wedding. ive been in chicago for 3 weeks now for work and its really getting to me. and my manager wants us to all work 7 days a week to meet an absolutely impossible deadline. i just don''t care.

also, i have put on at least 3-5 pounds being here. eating out/room service every day for every meal. no time to go to the (really nice!) hotel gym. work, sleep, work, sleep that is my life right now.

so, i feel you on just wanting to have some time to do something i REALLY want to do!!!

 

[zoebartlett]

I hear ya Indy! Other than my frustration of not losing the weight I thought I would before the wedding (and a few minor things, things have gone pretty well overall. I did, however, want to vent that I was recently told by someone close to me to "get over myself" because I voiced a concern I had over showing my bare arms in my strapless dress.

The particular part of your post that made me nod in agreement was when you said that you can''t make yourself care enough about decor and colors and things to get anything serious done. I think about the wedding all the time but I have started procrastinating doing certain things. I just want to show up and have fun but I don''t feel like planning anymore.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I know. I just took the major tests for my grad school enrollment which went well but have been eating my brain in the last month. If I get accepted then we will be moving right around the time of the wedding. It is only an hour away but still, it makes everything more complicated.
I am just thankful I am getting married on a sun becuase the vendors still have openings. In fact, there is a bridal show at my venue tomorrow.

Then there is my mom. I love her, she is paying for the wedding, no strings attached but she is determined to have as little involvement as possible when I really need it. Everyone in my family except my mom and myself are flakes, so since she knows I can handle it if I must, she will let me because she is so sick of taking care of other people. Then I called her to confirm that she was coming to the bridal fair with my Fi and I and she said "Of course, you know I want to be part of the wedding planning". I still haven''t figured that one out.
My BMs aren''t much help either. Two are on the other side of the country and aren''t good at these things anyway and the MOH is in the most intense part of his flight training so he can''t help either.
I just hate that I have to invest all this time and brain space to a wedding I was trying to avoid in the first place.

 

[samii]

I''m with you today - a vent would probably make me feel a whole lot better. We decided on a destination wedding, and am only just finally getting over one friends comments "Don''t you want anyone to come?".

Today we had to have lunch with a set of FI''s friends who I''m not terribly fond of. The female half of the couple was particularly rude to me when my now FI and I started dating - bringing two really trashy girls to one of his work parties and saying she''d brought them for him (when she knew we were together), and then comments to other people like "Next time he should let me choose his girlfriend".

Anyway, FI decided to tell them the wedding was in Vanuatu - at which point they got all excited and started saying how they would come... I had hoped not to invite them. Our wedding is going to be a few days event on a small island where everyone stays together... I won''t be able to escape them or her bitchy comments. Maybe I''m being selfish, but I really wanted to spend the time with people I cared about - not someone who is just plain annoying and bad mannered.

I am so upset, was so looking forward to it and now all I can think about is how I''m going to have to tolerate her...

Thank you so much for the vent... even if nobody reads it I feel better.

 

[anchor31]

DITTO! I am sick of it all, I have 6 months to go and I just want it to be OVER! But there are always issues popping up... Yesterday I tried to reach the girl who agreed to put my ceremony music together and the girl who agreed to do my cake. We don''t talk very often, but I''ve known them for years and they were very kind to offer me these services for very low costs. Thing is, they both moved (which I was aware of) and I don''t have the new phones numbers! (we really need an icon that mimicks TG''s avatar...) I tried to reach one of them by Facebook, we''ll see what happens. Gah!

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks for joining me in the group-vent ladies! And thanks for the moral support DKS. I am going to 'let it all out' by doing a crazy workout in the gym today. This also might be helfpul in combatting the serious overeating I've been doing this week. I think this is a semi-conscious 'anti-bride' manoeuvre.

Another thing that helps is that tomorrow is the baby shower I'm hosting for my secretary. That was one more 'headache' I didn't need in terms of planning. It will be fun and - I hope - a big help to her and then it will be OVER! I really bit off more than I could chew so one less thing to keep track of will help.

 

[Harleigh]

Oh, Indy, I''m so sorry you''re feeling this way. I think a lot of us are, and most of us aren''t planning TWO weddings like you are!

I''m frustrated at work and with wedding plans (or lack thereof), so I really don''t know what to do to escape, and to be getting nowhere and having NOTHING in place for an August reception for almost 400 people could quite possibly put me over the edge of reasonable sanity.

I think my biggest issue is that Rusty just assumes everything will come together by some sort of miracle and has really been of no assistance at all. While we away for our early Valentine''s weekend I''d planned for him, last night, during dinner he made some sort of stupid comment about how easy this wedding has been to plan and in my irritation I flat out asked him if he was really ready to get married, because he obviously has no clue the effort it has taken, (so he does know I''m just about at my wit''s end about all of this!) He smartly replied that of course he was...he wouldn''t have asked me to be his wife if not and that everything will work out just fine...

With tears in my eyes I reminded him again that the moment the dang SuperBowl is over, we are sitting down and getting these things worked out OR else, then I kindy did NOT bring up anything else wedding-related the rest of the weekend, but I''m still frustrated by everything that''s not done, for the wedding, the honeymoon, the reception, my moving to his house...ugh!

Thanks for letting us all vent...

 

[anchor31]

I know I vented yesterday, but I need to do it again... WARNING: This is pretty long and my inner bridezilla is coming out...

I don''t care if the tableclothes are pale blue or sapphire blue. I don''t care if the rehearsal dinner is home-made or catered. I don''t care if my FI''s mother wears a shorter or longer dress (and no, I am certainly NOT going shopping with her). And I certainly don''t bloody care if people like what we put in our registry or not!!! I. Don''t. Care. I just want to tell everyone to shut up. Suddenly everyone''s talking about the wedding and I don''t even want to hear about it. At this point, I don''t care what people think, I don''t care what people wear, I don''t care whatthey give as gifts, I don''t even care if they come or not.

Yesterday, J and I visited his family for his sister''s birthday, and it''s all they talked about for a full half-hour. I wanted to scream. His mother wanted to know what to wear (just find a bloody dress already!) and wanted me to come with her (NO!!!), his father started bitching about how greedy a registry is (greed is certainly something he knows...), bitch moan grumble demand... Funny (not) how they completed ignored J when he happily announced he had booked our honeymoon...

When we walked out of there, I was NOT in a good mood.

When we got home I finally explained to J what I''ve been trying to say for months: If it had been all up to me, we''d already be married, and we would have eloped. But that''s not what he wanted (he wanted the whole she-bang with a party because "that''s how weddings are"), and our families gave us hell when we talked about eloping, so I capitulated. And proceeded in doing 75% of the work for a wedding that''s 25% what I want. We have managed to find a certain balance between the elopment I wanted and the gigantic fantasy wedding he wanted, but everyday I still hope that only half of our 90-people guest list will make it. I told J I was tired, I have 5 classes plus a lab in college, I work on call, I''m trying to have a social life and to spend time with him... AND I have been trying to plan this wedding for about a year, and suddenly at 6 months it seems to have taken a life of its own. There''s always something coming up. Always someone to ask something more. Always another issue.

I was definitely a wake-up call for J. He finally realized how busy I''ve been and what I''ve been putting up with. He admitted that had he known weddings were so complicated and expensive, he would have agreed to elope. And despite the fact that we are getting closer to the wedding, we instated a "no wedding talk" rule during the week until I''m done with classes. I told J that if he wants to make sure everyone''s happy, he can take care of it because I''m done. And I put him in charge on the reception venue decor. He has a great eye for these things. And I don''t care.

*deep breath* Thanks for creating this thread, Indy!

 

[Independent Gal]

Sing it, girls! I so hear you.

Especially Harleigh on the FI-just-thinks-it-happens-by-magic thing and Anchorsweety on the "I just don''t care what damn colour the tablecloths are!!!" and on having been inclined to elope but doing the wedding thing for FI, only to find he doesn''t do any of the work for it.

 

[staceybelle]

I gave FI a fairly simple, straightforward task -- find a DJ (or band, but DJ is probably more likely to be within our budget). Three months pass. He''s done nothing. I realize it''s never going to get done if I leave it to him. I make some calls, find some recommendations, and book a DJ within three days. Not too difficult, right? FI apologizes and says he''ll be more helpful next time, etc.

A few days later, we''re in the car, and he says, "You know, Professor XYZ (from our school) has a band, and they do weddings. Maybe we should have asked him if he''d do the wedding." Um, what? Excuse me? I love him dearly, but I wanted to beat him senseless at the moment.

And then there''s my mom, who has been so sweet and helpful throughout the process, but will not stop suggesting the use of fake flowers.

Flowers on the pews? Oh, why don''t we use artificial flowers. Then we can make them ourselves and have them done ahead of time.

Should we spend $100 on corsages for the house party? Well, why don''t we make them corsages out of artificial flowers?

What kind of flowers should we use for the altar arrangement? Well, since nobody will be close enough to see them, why don''t we just use artificial flowers?

I think I''ve uttered the phrase, "I don''t like fake flowers" about fifty times since I''ve been engaged.

 

[misysu2]

I agree with you all! I''m tired of caring about what colors the ribbon on my bouquet will be.
I told my florist 100 times that I want red-orange flowers and she''s still sending me photos of pastel orange.
I don''t want to invite Mr. X''s son who we went to church with them in 1986 and you went to their 6th grade birthday party...
I''ve talked to my BMs three times now, last time with a polite warning!, that they HAVE to order their dresses NOW! Have they? No.
Now the DJ isn''t answering my phone calls.
Do we fly or drive to IL for the wedding....

Add this up with FI''s graduation, house hunting, and moving, and I''m spent!!

 

[Harleigh]

Date: 1/28/2008 9:33:08 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Sing it, girls! I so hear you.

Especially Harleigh on the FI-just-thinks-it-happens-by-magic thing and Anchorsweety on the ''I just don''t care what damn colour the tablecloths are!!!'' and on having been inclined to elope but doing the wedding thing for FI, only to find he doesn''t do any of the work for it.

Thanks, Indy...it helps to be validated by women on here I find to be pretty darn sane!

I just don''t understand how men can be so absolutely clueless!

I swear he has put more effort into the SuperBowl party we''re throwing on Sunday...if only I could channel some of that energy into our wedding plans, we might actually get something done!

 

[Isolde]

Rant, see "Age" thread.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 1/28/2008 11:58:08 AM
Author: Harleigh

Date: 1/28/2008 9:33:08 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Sing it, girls! I so hear you.

Especially Harleigh on the FI-just-thinks-it-happens-by-magic thing and Anchorsweety on the ''I just don''t care what damn colour the tablecloths are!!!'' and on having been inclined to elope but doing the wedding thing for FI, only to find he doesn''t do any of the work for it.

Thanks, Indy...it helps to be validated by women on here I find to be pretty darn sane!

I just don''t understand how men can be so absolutely clueless!

I swear he has put more effort into the SuperBowl party we''re throwing on Sunday...if only I could channel some of that energy into our wedding plans, we might actually get something done!

I am so not surprised. FI did actually book the honeymoon, but he''d put a lot more effort beforehand into researching for a replacement for his broken Ipod than for anything wedding-related. And then he freaks out because he has two tasks to do.

 

[mjso]

My current complaint is that everyone seems to think their way is the right way (oh so common!) but no one wants to put any effort into making "their way" happen.

Our biggest problem in agreement right now is the bridal party. There are 4 guys we know we want to have in it. I know who my MOH will be, hopefully her sister will say yes to being a BM, but that still leaves two spots. I wanted to ask my cousin, but my mom in a fit of telepathy said to me "I don''t think you should just ask your cousin X so that you can have more bodies up there, it is an expense for people you know". And she is pushing for us to just have a BM and a MOH. So now FI wants to ask his cousins (whom I''ve never met) and at this point I don''t really care. There''s another girl I want to ask to be a BM, but she is dating a friend of mine (they''ve only been together a few months) and as the wedding is over a year from now I''m afraid they will have broken up by then and it would be dumb for her to be in the wedding. So I''m all for us just having 4 guys and 2 girls, but FI thinks we need to have more Bridesmaids because it has to be even and "that''s why guys go to weddings". Great honey, I don''t need to be an escort service, I''m sure these guys can find their own damn dates.

Then there is the issue of a Flower Girl/Ring Bearer. We know no children. There are some random distant relatives who have kids that might be the right age, but I don''t really want a FG or RB since I''m not really a kid person (I''m sure this will change once I have my own) and there aren''t any that are close to us. But again, FI thinks "we have to have a FG/RB". And I''m like then what are we supposed to do, hire some kids off the street? I''d much rather have our dog carry a bag of flowers down the aisle that will spill out as she runs up to him, but that''s another story.

So basically, my mom wants us to have zero bridal party because she thinks everything is an inconvience to others and we shouldn''t put people out by asking them to be in our wedding, since apparently no one would like us enough to be in it. My FI wants all of these positions to be filled, but has no suggestions as to who to put in them. And I want there to be something of a bridal party, but I don''t need it to be 100% formal and even.

Argh.

 

[Independent Gal]

mjso hmmm...so, the problem is that you have 4.... and 2.... and you want it to be even. Well, math was never my strongest subject, but I think I see a possible solution here

One guy is a Bridesman. And... you're done.

 

[Independent Gal]

And no, he doesn''t have to wear a dress.

 

[mjso]

Hehehe! Thanks for the solution

Somehow I think FI would die if I suggested that to him. I''m still trying to lobby for just having it uneven and having each BM walk out with two GM.

 

[Amandine]

misysu2...

Just wanted to say that while I worked the bridal shop, I loved my brides (well, most of them!

)...but that bridesmaids were the bane of my existence. As I have started to gown shop for myself, and talked with other sales ladies, they agree with me. So, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! And everyone else, tell your BMs that they need to order a month earlier then they do. And don''t tell them that you faked their deadline. That way you have cushion time...although, someone will still probably be almost late.

 

[sap483]

I also need to vent. I''m so tired and stressed and just wish I had been able to convince FI to have the destination wedding I had always dreamed of. My budget is spiraling out of control due to my FMIL going significantly over her allotted guests and my FI not speaking up about it to her. FI hasn''t helped with a single thing. I also asked him to find the DJ, his one job- I finally gave in when I got sick of asking FI about the progress. He doesn''t understand how much work planning a wedding actually is, and thinks that everything that he has going on is far more important. I''m so busy at work right now that I just don''t have time to do any of the things that are overdue for my wedding in 5 months and I''m exhausted when I get home. I just want to throw my hands up and say forget it, we''re going to Bermuda and doing it my way. To top it all off, my daddy is in the hospital recovering from brain surgery and waiting for the pathology results, so I''ve been feeling extreme amounts of anxiety and helplessness- and have been an emotional wreck. I even cried when I told my boss about it- I was mortified. This is not at all how I imagined the months leading up to my wedding would be. Thanks for letting me get this all out.

 

[ladyciel]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHRRR.

Before Xmas, I found some great recommendations for a DJ. I emailed him, he said come meet him at a bridal show in January and that he''d hold our date till then. We went to the show. We liked him. He told us to take a week to decide. I emailed him 2 days after the show. And again, a couple days later. I just called him. Ooooooh, guess what??? He didn''t check his email, and booked our date with somebody else. He "usually" checks his email first, but gosh, he just didn''t this time. Oops. Just one of those things that happens....

I thanked him for his professionalism and hung up on him. I''m so freaking pissed and frustrated and I can''t believe I''m crying over a stupid DJ. The thing is, with all the bridal shows that have been held around here this month, I''m afraid we might have a horrible time finding another DJ we like for what we can afford.

 

[Independent Gal]

SAP, so sorry you're dealing with so much at once! I really hear you. And my thoughts and prayers are with your family. I hope your dad is doing well.

And Ladyciel, we just lost our DJ too. And, like SAP, guess who's going to have to find a new one? Why, that would be me.

Let it all out, ladies!

 

[sumbride]

Can I get in on this too? I''m already married. WHEN will my MIL STOP complaining about the seating arrangements, the rehearsal dinner, the jr. bridesmaid''s shoes, my bridesmaids, etc... Seriously... it''s OVER. I CAN''T CHANGE ANYTHING. Not that I would have beforehand either, but SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!!!

whew. I feel better now. thanks.

 

[Odilia]

I''ve posted this before, but thought it might be appropriate here. I read this article toward the end of my engagement (during the potential "vent" period...) and it had me laughing so hard I was in tears. Hopefully you''ll find it helpful if you''re in ''vent'' mode...

Posted on Sun, Mar. 02, 2003

It''s no wonder brides often turn into Frankenstein - DAVE BARRY

Every year, as we enter wedding season, I go to the bookstore and pick up a bridal magazine. Then I crumple to the floor with lower-back spasms, because during wedding season, bridal magazines achieve roughly the same mass as Ted Kennedy (D-Mass). They have hundreds of pages of advertisements and articles designed to help the bride, as she gets ready for her
Special Day, go completely insane.

She can''t help it. Your modern American wedding is more complex, in terms of logistics, than the invasion of Iraq. For one thing, the invasion planners don''t have to decide on guest favors; the bride does, and it''s not a simple decision. Here is what Modern Bride has to say on this topic in its 312-pound March issue:

``Gone are the days of giving guests mixed nuts in little plastic cups as wedding favors ... Brides today have so many options ... Choose unique favor container -- tiny tins, clear plastic cones, little gossamer bags -- and fill them with your favorite treats. Give each guest a silver frame ... or tie a stack of your favorite cookies together with personalized ribbon.
The choices are truly endless!''''

And they are! Truly! Endless! Which is why tonight, while you''re snoring the snore of the carefree, some stressed-out bride-to-be, who had once hoped (The fool!) to get by with mixed nuts in a cup, will be staring at her bedroom ceiling, asking herself: ``Tiny tins? Gossamer bags? Personalized ribbon? Should I maybe personalize the gossamer? What the heck IS gossamer?''''

At dawn she''s still struggling to make this decision, so she can get on with the other 158,000 critical bridal decisions -- decisions she must make by herself, because she stopped talking to her mother weeks ago, following a bitter argument about the cake frosting. The bride, alone, must decide on her dress, shoes, flowers, invitations, place cards, caterer, photographer and all the other wedding elements that must be perfect or her Special Day will be RUINED RUINED RUINED.

And don''t tell me that the groom can help. Please. The groom is useless. Statistically speaking, something like 92 percent of all grooms are male. If you let males plan weddings you are going to wind up with Skee Ball at the reception.

No, the groom dropped out of the picture minutes after he proposed. For all the bride knows, he has been kidnapped by aliens. It does not matter. The bride must plunge grimly ahead, making decision after decision, day after stressful day, night after sleepless night, until she has, at most, two remaining marbles.

Unfortunately, the bride reaches this state just when she is turning her attention to the most abused victim group in America: bridesmaids. If you''ve ever wondered why you see so many weddings where the bridesmaids are unrecognizable, the answer is that these poor women
were following the fashion orders of a crazed bride who wants all her bridesmaids, regardless of their physical nature, to have exactly the same ''''look,'''' because otherwise her Special Day would be RUINED RUINED RUINED.

A few years ago my wife was a bridesmaid; the bride was the sweetest, most thoughtful person we know. But she insisted that all her bridesmaids get a certain hairdo, which meant that my wife emerged from the beauty salon with this foot-high thing on her head formed by (1) her hair; (2) a substance that appeared to be either very strong hair spray or Super Glue; and (3) 14 million bobby pins. She had enough steel on her head to make a Cadillac Escalade. Her hairdo was interfering with aircraft compasses. She did not look like my wife. And she wasn''t! She was ... a bridesmaid!

Can anything be done to halt this craziness? Yes. Alert reader Lori Rispoli has come up with a brilliant solution:

''''Have you ever wondered,'''' she writes, ``why it takes a bride months and months to plan a wedding, but a good funeral can be pulled together in two days? The elements are all the same -- church, minister, music, flowers, guests, food.''''

Lori is absolutely right. What we need is a law prohibiting brides from planning their weddings more than, say, a week in advance. A bride caught violating this law would be subject to severe punishment, such as being forced to walk down the aisle to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff.

Wouldn''t that be great? Brides -- and their loved ones -- would be spared months of insanity. Weddings would be simpler, cheaper and more relaxed. Everybody would win! Except of course the people who put out the bridal magazines. They''d have to find something useful
to do. But I''m sure they''ll have no trouble. The choices are truly endless.

 

[ladyciel]

SAP, honey, I''m so sorry to hear about your Dad. Both of my parents have had big medical scares in the past few years (multiple times, too), and it''s never easy. IGal, it''s so true - HE screwed us up, but now WE have to find a replacement. I think the worst thing, though, and what has me in tears, is the reason I didn''t physically pick up the phone and call the DJ is that I received the news that my grandma passed away the day after the bridal show. The last thing on my mind at that point was wedding stuff. The fact that I remembered to email him was tremendous. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and emailed him again. Then, I had to go to Canada for my grandmother''s memorial service, so I wasn''t even in the country to actually call him when I still hadn''t received a reply from him and our week to decide was ending. ARGH. I just want to throw that in his face - that not only did he screw us over but he did it the same week my grandma died - but I know it won''t help or change anything. Ugh.

 

[ktkakes]

im ready for my venting.. i am like all of you ready for it to be here! i am so sick of making decisions. and spending every cent of my check on the wedding.. i am on such overload i feel like i could cry half the time. and part of me feels crazy when i feel this way. i just really want to be married. i never truly thought it would be this stressful. Now i completely understand honeymoon''s you need them to regain your sainty and remember why you were truly getting married.
i wish sometimes that i listened to the future hubby that we just eloped. how is something that is supposed to be such a special time so frustrating. shouldnt we all be giddy with excitment. i mean i m sure when the day is here i wouldnt change it for the world. but the build up is excruciating.

 

[violet02]

I hate agonizing over every little decision I make and second guessing myself constantly. 10 months from now is way too long! Do you know how many times you can change your mind in that amount of time?? I'm also bitter inside (and I know I shouldn't be, I know I'm being lame) because my fi's parents promised to contribute a certain amt of money and my dad contributed what he considered to be half the cost... when it came time to go over money with my fi's parents they only offered a third of what they'd said which wasn't even half of what my dad put in (he put it in thinking he was getting matched)... I understand that they can't afford what they'd promised so I don't want to be a jerk about that but I feel badly that my dad has asked for nothing in regards to the wedding but there are a lot of complaints and requests and unhappiness about things coming from my fi's side. I don't get why that always seems to be the case. I read a lot of stories like that.

So I'm bitter because I feel like for as little as they are contributing all their pricey requests are just plain irritating. For example, (they actually wound up contributing 2/3 of their original amt btw) they wanted to invite all of their family and out of town guests to the rehersal dinner, which would have been SUPER pricey... we said no, they were unhappy... or they wanted to hire a bartender etc to have a big party the night before the wedding at the house we're holding the wedding at... that's the last thing I want to do... trash the house the night before! So it's like okay we want to pay for a bartender or something but we don't want to contribute much towards anything else. They're also upset we're not getting married on the east coast which is where my fi is originally from. We both live in CA though and all our friends are here. It just doesn't make sense. They feel that weddings are about family not about friends... I kind of feel like it's about us too, not just for the family... Anyways I have to stop being bitter because we're going to be related for the rest of our lives... (deep breath!) We are also putting quite a bit of our own money in too so we're not expecting it to be all taken care of by them. We were hoping we'd be able to get away with spending less but oh well. (My stepmom knows I post on here I hope she doesnt read this! I hate to publicly complain but sometimes ya gotta vent)

/rant over