THINK before you speak!

[SarFarSuperstar]

People just do not realize how hurtful and unnecessary their comments can be.

I picked up two pieces of candy (miniature Reese''s peanut butter cups, to be exact) off of a co-worker''s desk today. The woman sitting beside her said, "Sarah! You won''t be able to fit into your wedding dress!"

It seems like such a simple thing but honestly, it really hurt my feelings.

As someone who has had definite eating issues in the past (not like she knows this or should) comments like that just take me right back to the 6th grade where Chris Hubble told me I was fat. Ugh. It''s so stupid and I know it''s no big deal. I just thought I would rant a little.

 

[decodelighted]

Jealous! Meow! Realize that being a bride puts a lot of attention on you whether you like it or not. I can''t believe how free people feel to all of a sudden criticize, judge, instruct etc ... AIIGH.

At least there''s some "good" attention that goes along with it (ya gotta take the bad w/the good unfortunately!)

 

[Caribou]

I''m sorry SarFar. People are silly.

My mom keeps making the comment ''if you an K break up......'' like she''s already sure this relationship won''t work.

Pisses me off!

 

[SarFarSuperstar]

It''s so weird because she''s usually so nice about everything. It''s not like it''s a competition thing- she''s much older than me, divorced (although this could be the problem...unresolved issues, much?), and has three kids.

Caribou- That seriously sucks! Does she not like your fiance? Or is it just like in a offhanded, she doesn''t really mean it sort of way? At any rate, that is highly unnecessary. Why can''t people just be nice!? Rar!

 

[curlygirl]

SarFar, do not let it get to you. I know, easier said than done, but people are just jerks sometimes and don''t realize that they are hurting others feelings. She may have her own issues, she may have been in a bad mood, who knows? Just try not to let it bring you down--it''s not worth it. You should be enjoying this time in your life!

Just to continue on what Caribou was saying, my mother who loves my fiance, is getting weird on me! This wedding has been driving me and FI nuts, to the point where we are fighting and having little spats nearly every day--we have NEVER fought before so this is all new territory and I know it''s brought on by the stress and will pass. So I was telling my mother how we''ve had some nasty arguments about the wedding and she said, "Oh god, I hope you''re not making a mistake"!!! WHAT?!?!? I was almost offended by it but I just let it roll off my back. I know she just cares about us and doesn''t want to hear that we''re bickering. But guess what? People fight. It happens. We are under a lot of pressure and we are the closest to each other so we pick on each other. It''s not going to be like this forever. Anyway, it was just funny because people take things and turn them into bigger issues than they are. Don''t let the drama queens bring you down!!!

 

[Caribou]

No my mom loves my fiance. When she makes the comment, she ends it with ''because we are keeping him if they do''.

It just bothers me that she even makes the statment because I''m an insecure person in general. I have no doubts about my fiance and our future but I honestly never thought that I''d every meet anyone who''d want to marry me. Which sounds really pathetic but regardless, I have insecurities and fears that this is all a big joke and once I let my guard down he will be taken away from me. Again, pathetic but it''s a huge reason why I know she''s kidding but it really bothers me when she says it.

She thinks it''s funny so she keeps telling everyone what she says.

 

[MelissaSue]

Lol.. how Ironic.. My dad sent me a GIANT basket of candy today (I''m out of town for two weeks, staying alone in a hotel, so it was super sweet of him)... but I told my mom.. and she was like "WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? DOESN"T HE KNOW YOU NEED TO FIT INTO YOUR WEDDING DRESS?!" I don''t know.. coming from my mom it wasn''t that bad.. because she is pretty honest with me about my weight and I am with her about hers.. but it still made me feel a little bad about myself! And I can imagine it would be a zillion times worse coming from a coworker! They should all mind their own businesses! lol

 

[selflove]

SarFar--my first reaction, after my own very long day with THE MOST tiresome co-workers on the planet, was "Tell that b*tch to shut the f*#k up!" Do you think that would work? I bet she''d never make a comment about it again. But I suppose that would be inappropriate at work, huh? Well, on a serious note, don''t take it too hard; she''s probably just jealous b/c you have youth and are in love. Sad.

 

[monarch64]

You know what''s funny about this, is that it''s pretty likely you will lose weight the week or two before your wedding without even trying. You will be so busy you won''t have time to eat, or you''ll be stressed out so you won''t want to eat! Why on earth other people are worried that you won''t fit into your dress (do they not think you''re not worried about it already?) is beyond me! Jeez!

 

[FireGoddess]

People are idiots. Don't sweat it. I'm sure she said it to be funny and 'concerned', but those comments never are. It's kinda like when someone constantly (every time they see me) tells me I look tired. Give me a break. It's like a fake concerned comment that is a disguised put-down...I can't look tired every freaking time you see me, can I? Please. Don't think twice about it. Tell her you'll just have to walk down the aisle naked then. That should shut her up.

 

[Mara]

Her comment sounds fairly innocuous to me..there's no way for her to know that you had 'issues' in the past or to know your history and that it would touch on a sensitive subject. I think that EVERYONE thinks about others fitting into their dress, that is soo one of the first things I think of when people are talking about their engagement and planning for the wedding is the dress and the stress about fitting into it and taking it in too much etc, remembering how I thought about myself 'oh wow I have XYZ amount of time before I gotta put on that dress!'. So I just think it's natural for people to think about it even though they aren't the bride. If she's typically nice as you said, then I would not think that she was being bitchy or rude, etc. She probably just spoke without thinking and maybe even sees you somewhat as a 'child' to her aka acting a bit like your mom...if that happened to me I would probably grimace because inside I'd know she was right, and say 'I KNOW', then chow down on the sweets, and then just exercise extra hard later.

Don't let it bother you!

 

[SarFarSuperstar]

Logically, I know it''s no big deal. It just got under my skin for a little bit. Guess I''m just putting extra pressure on myself considering when I bought the dress it fit perfectly (no alterations whatsoever- I am SO lucky!) so I just worry that an extra few pounds will make me look like a sausage! No problem though- like Monarch said, I''m sure the month or so before the wedding I will be completely insane- especially since I may be starting a new job/graduate program in August and the wedding is in October- I''m ridiculous, I know!

Thanks for all your comments, just one of those things I needed to vent about.