think i got a timeline.....

[penniepie25]

Hi Ladies,

I have always been a bit shy about discussing the timeline with him in fear of pushing the topic - but i went ahead made it cute and fun - and i thought with all thats going on, our stress with the house, family illnesses and our arguments because of the stress and pressure it was going to be a tough talk. But i made it fun and he said - i think i will be ready to make that step sometime next year!! i mean its not this year but thats good RIGHT!!! - we get ouyt house March - so maybe is before we move into our new home!!!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Congrats! That''s such a good feeling. It''s nice to know you''re on the same page. Gotta love those little updates. Makes you feel like you''re getting somewhere!

I finally had the timeline talk and agreed upon a Fall 2010 wedding. It was almost as good as getting proposed to-- but not quite.

That means a proposal next year after I graduate! Yay!

 

[penniepie25]

yeah isnt it great!

I think it will be before the house - prior to meshing our finances - makes sence he wouldnt want it to be something we both pay for

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 5/27/2008 4:42:43 PM
Author: Lauren8211
Congrats! That''s such a good feeling. It''s nice to know you''re on the same page. Gotta love those little updates. Makes you feel like you''re getting somewhere!

I finally had the timeline talk and agreed upon a Fall 2010 wedding. It was almost as good as getting proposed to-- but not quite.

That means a proposal next year after I graduate! Yay!

We''re thinking fall 2010 too! So like both of you, a proposal SHOULD be in the works sometime next year (hopefully sooner rather than later, at this point I wouldn''t mind a year-year & a half engagement!)

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/27/2008 4:44:42 PM
Author: penniepie25
I think it will be before the house - prior to meshing our finances - makes sence he wouldnt want it to be something we both pay for

Although it may seem like it makes sense to you, he may not necessarily follow your line of thinking (not saying either way, it's just not a given). Buying a house, getting engaged and getting married are all things that cost a fair amount of money usually, so sometimes people choose to do one step at a time--therefore, it's *possible* that your guy isn't thinking, "Right, before we buy a house together, we should get engaged." Maybe he is thinking that, but maybe he isn't. Eventually, I'd have a talk with him about where he sees the engagement and wedding happening in relation to the house-buying. It's generally not advisable to assume that someone else is thinking the same way as you.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Good to know! Im happy for you!

 

[KCCutie]

Yay! It''s amazing how much just having an idea of what he''s thinking helps isn''t it! now you can stop worrying about that just concentrate on your house and your relationship as a couple.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 5/27/2008 5:02:04 PM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/27/2008 4:44:42 PM
Author: penniepie25
I think it will be before the house - prior to meshing our finances - makes sence he wouldnt want it to be something we both pay for

Although it may seem like it makes sense to you, he may not necessarily follow your line of thinking (not saying either way, it''s just not a given). Buying a house, getting engaged and getting married are all things that cost a fair amount of money usually, so sometimes people choose to do one step at a time--therefore, it''s *possible* that your guy isn''t thinking, ''Right, before we buy a house together, we should get engaged.''

Oh so true!!! While I do not regret buying our house together, my SO and I have had to push back our engagement because of all the costs associated with the house. I had thought we would get engaged listerally the day we closed (one too many romantic movie for me), we have been in the house almost 2 years now and my left ring finger is still naked.

I don''t want to burst your bubble here but don''t play the "maybe" game with yourself. If you want a timeline, you should not feel shy about asking, in a serious manner, where he envisions engagement fitting into the picture in relation to the house purchase. I think it''s a perfectly normal conversation to have and one you certainly shouldn''t feel shy about having especially if you are thinking about co-mingling your money together!

 

[kittybean]

I think you should clarify with him what he meant and see what his actual timeline is. It will be so worth it, especially if you drop the topic afterward. I agree with the other posters that men often want to space out these big, expensive events in their lives, and expecting a proposal before you buy a house could be unrealistic. Personally, I know my boyfriend had a very solid idea of what he wanted to do when, in what order, and when I asked, he was willing to share that with me.

I don''t think it will hurt you to ask when the engagement might happen in relation to the house. Another way to go about it is to say something like, "I want to be married within two years, and I need a year to plan the wedding," (or whatever you want to say), "how does that fit in with what you are thinking?" It is never a bad idea to discuss marriage and expectations with your SO (as long as you don''t over-discuss!).

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/27/2008 5:33:49 PM
Author: kittybean
I think you should clarify with him what he meant and see what his actual timeline is. It will be so worth it, especially if you drop the topic afterward. I agree with the other posters that men often want to space out these big, expensive events in their lives, and expecting a proposal before you buy a house could be unrealistic. Personally, I know my boyfriend had a very solid idea of what he wanted to do when, in what order, and when I asked, he was willing to share that with me.


I don't think it will hurt you to ask when the engagement might happen in relation to the house. Another way to go about it is to say something like, 'I want to be married within two years, and I need a year to plan the wedding,' (or whatever you want to say), 'how does that fit in with what you are thinking?' It is never a bad idea to discuss marriage and expectations with your SO (as long as you don't over-discuss!).

I don't think it's just the men; I know J and I won't have lots of money, so we'll definitely be spacing things out as much as we can so we can afford it all, as much because I think it's a good idea as he does...possibly more than he does.