This is me. Is this you?

[kenny]

 

[MissGotRocks]

No, not me. I have never had a shy or introverted day in my life. For those that feel like the above kitties, I feel for you. Must be such a miserable feeling and sometimes you get corralled into a situation that makes you feel this way. I have been in situations that I did not like or care for, and have no problem coming up with a reason to leave. The older I get, the more selective I have become in choosing gatherings that I want to attend though.

 

[Lookinagain]

Not me really. But I am more comfortable at a social event where I know at least a few people. But like @MissGotRocks I am selective as to what I will attend.

 

[kenny]

Actually I've finally mastered just not going to 99.99% of things I'd be miserable at.
Covid was a huge globsend for me, and I'm milking it to this day.

But, oh those 3 poor kitties!!! .......... that image really resonated with me.

 

[OboeGal]

OH, yes.....definitely me.

 

[Karl_K]

make that 3

 

[Karl_K]

make that 3

wait 3 is a group yikes! I will be the quiet one way over there -------------------------->

 

[Begonia]

4

 

[Dr_Diesel]

100%

 

[missy]

Yes. This is me. Skip the following if you are not in the mood for long explanation.


The pandemic had a silver lining for me I have to admit. My poor DH was missing all the parties and gatherings and I was in blissful peace not having to attend the social functions we normally did attend pre pandemic. I used to feel guilty but I no longer do. My husband and I are just wired differently and neither is right or wrong. It just is. I used to make excuses or apologies for not wanting to go. Now I am at peace with who I am and make no such apologies.


We do compromise however (as in any successful relationship) and we live by this principle. If something is more important to me we go by what I want to do. If something is more important to Greg we go by what he wants to do. This works well for us.

For example we had his family reunion last month. Did I want to go? No. But I knew how important it was to Greg to attend. So I happily (yes happily) went with him. We had a lovely time. It was worth the sacrifice on my part to be around so many people because I do find it overwhelming. Yet I forced myself out of my comfort zone and had a nice time.

We have a wedding coming up in October. Good friends (supposedly). I find the invitation and the demands made by the bride to be unacceptable. And for other reasons I won't go into here (some might consider to be political but in my mind it is not but I will not touch that as it could be against PS rules) it just is not palatable for me to go. In this case it is more important to me for us not to attend. So that is our (most likely) decision. But being the fair person I am I did tell Greg if he wants to go without me I would be OK with that. I am very doubtful he will go without me. Not because he wouldn't want to but because it could be perceived as disrespectful to me. However I have left that up to him. Because truth be told, while this is very important to me (not to go) it is close call for Greg because all his dear friends from college and beyond will be there. Many people he cares about so it is a close call in this case.

Personally I crave stability and peace and sameness. I love routines and knowing what to expect.
Albert Einstein said "“ The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulate the creative mind.”
This is me. I find joy in all the above. Peace. Routine. Stability. But I can definitely behave as an extrovert when need be. At social functions I work to be outgoing because it makes others feel more comfortable and I like making others feel at ease. But I prefer being at home surrounded by my furry babies and dh vs being out with lots of people. I do enjoy going out occasionally with friends but only one on one or two on two. Too many and it is overwhelming for me. No right or wrong here. It just is who I am

 

[rainydaze]

Totally me, yes. With age has come the confidence and ability to leave when I wish to, and to say no in the first place to events I do not wish to attend and do not have to.

 

[diamondringlover]

I am an introvert, I don't due well at social gatherings at all...and I also milked covid for what it was worth, it gave me a valid excuse to stay home, now I have to make things up, its hard for me, I been trying to push myself out some but I am not very successful, my other issue is nothing or no one is close by to where I live, I am 20-25 miles outside of any big cities, heck you can't even have breakfast in our town on a Sunday morning because we have no restaurants open (with the exceptions of McDonalds). I despise having to drive 30-40 mins one way to get to someone or somewhere, so that is another excuse I use to stay home....

 

[tyty333]

Introverts unite!

Wait, I didn't mean that literally! I meant, let's stay at home and support each other on our computers!

I do resonate with others' comments... age gives you the confidence to do what you want when you want and to
be more selective of the things you want to put your time/energy into. A reminder that there are some good things
about getting older! (dont come at me )

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

wait 3 is a group yikes! I will be the quiet one way over there -------------------------->

4.

 

[kenny]

missy, I loved your post.

Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to suffer through several decades to arrive at the relatively-peacefully place we've to matured into, or should I say earned?

I wonder whether kids from perfect parents (I know, I know ... as if!) fledge with none of this social programing garbage: "There's only one right way to be, and everyone HAS to be that way!!!!!!" ... that takes so much difficult living to finally shake off.

But, again, people vary.
So I'm sure there are people who are perfectly happy to be the way they have been taught they're supposed to be.

I'm so glad I didn't have kids.
I'm sure I would have screwed them up, way up!

 

[dk168]

No, not me, not an introvert by any means.

However, I need time by myself to unwind with just the pets for company after spending time with people, even if they are my nearest and dearest.

DK

 

[kenny]

No, not me, not an introvert by any means.

However, I need time by myself to unwind with just the pets for company after spending time with people, even if they are my nearest and dearest.

DK

Yep.
I see it as a number line, a continuum from extreme introvert to extreme extravert.
We each are somewhere along this line, and we move along the line as required by life, work, a social life, family, etc.

I like this analogy:
An introvert gets their batteries drained by interacting with others, but gets their batteries recharged by doing things alone, or just being alone.

An extrovert's batteries are recharged by interaction with others, but drained by being alone.
But even though the growing consensus is that there is no single right way everyone should be, American society applauds extraversion, but is uncomfortable with, and even suspicious of, introverts.

Interesting that, in this sense, Japan is the opposite of America.

 

[RMOO]

Yep, this is me, uncomfortably introverted...... I'll be over here in the corner.

 

[Demon]

I'm the one on the right. Those wide eyes...

 

[Arcadian]

I'm an extroverted introvert and people who have met me in social situations don't know that about me...lol My facade is really good! But my very close circle of friends know.

After a party (and I don't drink y'all) I need a TON of recovery time because its so damn tiring/draining. I don't even want to talk to people much less be around them.

The other reason our living situation works; I have at least 2 days off from him and them. Doesn't mean I don't love them, it just means I need to be alone and recharge. Me not having any recharge time almost caused our divorce.

 

[Austina]

I am a homebody, DH & I spend 24/7 together. Hasn’t always been the case as he used to work very long hours so I was by myself a lot of the time. Am I an introvert? No, I don’t think I am, I enjoy going out to things I’m interested in, but there are instances, like @missy ’s invitation (that I do know the circumstances of) that I wouldn’t go to on principal.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

No this is not me. I like parties. I like dinners out on a regular basis. I love dressing up, wearing makeup, and lovely jewellery. I can start a conversation with anyone. But do I choose when and where I want to go? You bet.

cheers--Sharon

 

[SparklieBug]

I'm an extroverted introvert and people who have met me in social situations don't know that about me...lol My facade is really good! But my very close circle of friends know.

This is me, too. I present as an extrovert but am simply a trained one. I used to think I was an extrovert, but when I stopped working in a busy, people-interactions industry, I was surprised at how easily I adapted, and how much I loved not being "on" all the time.

That said, I do enjoy occasional social gatherings (I don't drink, either), and love to dress up, put on the bling, etc., yet it's always a lovely relief to get away from the hubbub, and go home to a serene environment.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Cue the "Irish Goodbye". I'm a pro.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

What is the Irish goodbye?

 

[mrs-b]

I like small groups. Dh and I hosted a Christmas dinner at a beautiful silver service restaurant for 8 of us. It was perfect. I think my days of BIG parties are over - mostly because I dont want to spend the money or do the work! Hmmm...maybe I'm a housework introvert.... (now *there's* something I could get behind!)

My daughter, on the other hand, over stimulates easily. Oddly, she's very social tho finds it exhausting. But when she gets over-excited, eats sugar, then throws a coffee or two into the mix, she'll melt down completely.

 

[MissGotRocks]

While I old definitely consider myself more of an extrovert, I definitely like my alone time as well. I sort of chalk that up to having been an only child. I never depended on others for entertainment so I could entertain myself very well. There is a time for people and then there is time just for me. Creates a good mix for my life!

 

[RMOO]

What is the Irish goodbye?

It's when you discreetly leave a party without saying goodbye to anyone, including the host/hostess. You just quietly slip out the door,

 

[Lookinagain]

While I old definitely consider myself more of an extrovert, I definitely like my alone time as well. I sort of chalk that up to having been an only child. I never depended on others for entertainment so I could entertain myself very well. There is a time for people and then there is time just for me. Creates a good mix for my life!

The only child thing is interesting. I'm basically an only child as I have a half sister 14 years older from my father's first marriage. She got married very young so I pretty much grew up with no other siblings in the house. I find that I can entertain myself very well, too. I hadn't thought about how being an only child might have been a factor in that.

 

[MissGotRocks]

The only child thing is interesting. I'm basically an only child as I have a half sister 14 years older from my father's first marriage. She got married very young so I pretty much grew up with no other siblings in the house. I find that I can entertain myself very well, too. I hadn't thought about how being an only child might have been a factor in that.

I really think it does. No one else to entertain you, no one else to oversee your decisions, not another person to be taking direction from in your formative years. I think it makes you strongly individual, but then you miss having that close relationship with a sibling. I just try to look at the upside of it as I had no part in the decision to leave me an only child - lol!