Those of you with non-diamond engagement rings...

[tessari]

My BF will (hopefully) propose with a sapphire cushion ring within the next 2-3 months. I am very exicted about the sapphire and the ring but I know I am going to get a lot of questions/comments/weird looks about it not being a diamond and am wondering what kind of comments you get and how you deal with them.

 

[laurel25]

I have a sapphire e-ring (https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/more-pictures-of-laurel25s-sapphire-ring.101129/ ) and these are the 3 most common reactions I get:

1. "Oh m gosh that is so beautiful - it's the most gorgeous engagement ring I've ever seen!" Some people REALLY love it and think it's awesome and different and wonderful.

2. "That's a sapphire????" Where I live (central MN), most people have never seen a decent sapphire, let alone a concave cut stone. Almost all the sapphires you see around here are the dark, dark blue (almost black) ones typically sold at B&M's or maul stores, so I've had quite a few people who couldn't believe it was real because they didn't know that sapphires should actually be BLUE.

3. Some people just don't say anything because they don't realize that it's an e-ring since it's not your run of the mill diamond e-ring. I'm hoping that once I add my w-ring (some sort of diamond band or maybe 2 diamond bands

), then people will realize that it's a wedding set.

Anyway, colored stone rings evoke a lot of different reactions from people, but if you love colored stones, it's definitely a good way to go. I love mine and wouldn't trade it for the world!

 

[Pandora II]

1) Gosh your emerald is amazing - I''ve never seen one that looks like that before...

2) You''re not upset that you didn''t get a diamond?


Question 1, I answer in two ways depending on who says it. Random people in shops etc I just say thank you, I''m very lucky. If I know the person well they get Tsavorites 101.

Question 2 tends to be from people that I know well (relatives for example) and the one that really gets to me as people are basically implying that my husband was too cheap/couldn''t afford to buy me a diamond. The truth is, DH was happy to give me whatever I wanted and as anyone who has been on PS for a while knows, diamonds are not my big thing. It also annoys me because I could have got a good sized diamond (with amazing cut) for what we spent on my e-ring, so it certainly wasn''t anything to do with cost.

I tend to tell them that I prefer coloured stones and prefer something unique and rare to something that the diamond cartels have overpriced...

I rarely add the word ''garnet'' to the end of tsavorite as it makes things even worse. It''s very sad that coloured stones have become so ''cheap'' in the average person''s eyes. Especially considering that fine examples of many gemstones will hugely outprice a similarly sized white diamond.

And just to make things worse, I''m in the UK where e-rings tend to be around 0.5ct and the Royal Family have often had coloured stone e-rings.... I guess those marketing guys at De Beers are worth their weight in diamonds!


I wish you much happiness with your FI and your sapphire and hope you don''t meet that many ignorant comments!

(I will admit to having flipped on PS a few times when I''ve heard people suggesting to LIW to get a gemstone ring if they can''t afford ''the real thing''. Drives me crazy

)

 

[glitterata]

If people have trouble accepting that it''s your engagement ring, you can always remind them that Princess Diana''s engagement ring was a sapphire.

 

[movie zombie]

or you can tell them anyone can have a diamond but not everyone wants to be more individual............

i get the "what is that stone in your ring?" then when they see it closer they see the small wedding band so its a non-issue that its an e-ring. however, 99.9% have never seen a spessartite much less heard of one and say so when i tell them what it is.

movie zombie

 

[LostSapphire]

Welcome to the CLUB!

There's another thread out there asking about who has a non-diamond engagement ring....if I can find it I'll link.

I believe the consensus was that WE are all very special, independent, free-thinking, intelligent women. I'm sure Pandora, Laurel, MZ and Gecko will add a few more adjectives.

I laugh at some comments people make, (This one hasn't been made directly to me, but I've seen this posted by others): "oh, that's a nice placeholder ring until your husband saves up for a diamond". That cracks me up, especially knowing the cost of some of these spectacular coloured gemstone rings.

My first ER was a sapphire over 22 years ago. When I lost it, there was never a discussion about getting a diamond...I HAD to have another sapphire.

Or, even on the SMTR thread, there are comments such as: "if your fiancee can't afford a diamond, he can perhaps get you a gemstone in the meantime"...aaaggghhhhhh

What a lot of people don't understand is that we have a gemstone because we WANT one. Plain and simple.

I think if you are strong in your sense of self, and know what you want, you'll love your ring no matter what others may say or think.

We'd love to hear what you have in mind as to style of your future ring. Or, is it going to be a surprise?

LS

ETA: here's a thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/wondering-about-gemstone-ering-stats-in-your-area.85336/
ETA#2: here's another: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/gemstone-vs-diamond.70015/
ETA#3: here's another: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/being-cheap-or-being-unique.38934/

 

[absolutanne]

I am so glad that I've found this forum. I am absolutanne, aka the Taaffeite E-ring girl. I am now engaged! And my fiance' has presented me with a gorgeous 3.3 ct VS1 taaffeite flanked with 2-0.2 white sapphires on palladium band. I've hyped this stone up so much to many girls and I've gotten nothing but good feedback. They are so excited for the stone and some have been inspired with the non-traditional e-ring. I am not embarrassed at all at the thought of a gemstone ring as I don't agree with the price:quantity ratio of diamonds. They are absolutely ludicrous. For something so ubiquitous and mediocre as a white diamond can be so expensive! I feel proud carrying my taaffeite e-ring as it is among the very very very few in the world.

pics to come!

 

[T L]

I actually had a white diamond in my e-ring. I hated it and sold it and put a colored stone in there instead (a mandarin spessartite). I do not care for white diamonds, even gargantuan ones. Something about colorless stones bores me, and after a while they all look exactly the same. However, I love colored diamonds.

- another fantastic alternative to your classic boring white diamond. Sorry all you white diamond lovers out there. I actually get more excited about people's settings vs the actual white diamond center stones.

ETA: I can't wait to see absolutanne's taeffite e-ring. Now that's a stone that's about a billion times rarer than a diamond, and it will truly be a "one-of-a-kind."

 

[WestAussie]

I recently (4 days ago!) recieved my sapphire engagement ring and until I got it I was worried about similar things.. that people would think it an odd choice for an engagement ring and they wouldnt really like it.
But now that I have got it on my hot little hand all those worries have gone out the window!!
Mainly because

1. I love it so much I couldnt care less if anybody else thinks of it. I think pre-proposal when I felt worried others wouldnt like it I was actually worried I wouldnt like it.. but it was love at first sight!

2. I have had nothing but positive comments about it.. of course I realize nobody will say anything negative to my face but people are actually raving about it, taking photos of it with their camera phones so they can show other people, and I''ve had several random compliments from strangers... Many people have said to me its so refreshing to see something other than a diamond.

3. I think when you do do something that goes against the general trends people will react strongly one way or another.. Diamonds are very fashionable at the moment but only traditional in these modern times... As previously mentioned, Sapphires, rubies and emeralds are actually traditional for Royal families and most of my grand and great grandparents had coloured gemstones

Try not to worry I promise you once you see that Baby on your finger you will not give a hoot what other people think, having a sapphire ring is the best decision we made and I am so glad I didnt go down that well trodden diamond path.

 

[FrekeChild]

I just keep getting lots of "What is it?!"s. So I proceed to explain about spinel and how fantastic it is. Lol.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 12/22/2008 11:58:03 PM
Author: tourmaline_lover
I actually had a white diamond in my e-ring. I hated it and sold it and put a colored stone in there instead (a mandarin spessartite). I do not care for white diamonds, even gargantuan ones. Something about colorless stones bores me, and after a while they all look exactly the same. However, I love colored diamonds.

- another fantastic alternative to your classic boring white diamond. Sorry all you white diamond lovers out there. I actually get more excited about people''s settings vs the actual white diamond center stones.

ETA: I can''t wait to see absolutanne''s taeffite e-ring. Now that''s a stone that''s about a billion times rarer than a diamond, and it will truly be a ''one-of-a-kind.''

TL, didn''t kow you had a spess e-ring!

i so agree with you re being bored by diamonds....except for those lush color ones. i tend towards the champagnes, too.

movie zombie

 

[NovemberBride]

Date: 12/22/2008 11:13:56 PM
Author: absolutanne
I am so glad that I''ve found this forum. I am absolutanne, aka the Taaffeite E-ring girl. I am now engaged! And my fiance'' has presented me with a gorgeous 3.3 ct VS1 taaffeite flanked with 2-0.2 white sapphires on palladium band. I''ve hyped this stone up so much to many girls and I''ve gotten nothing but good feedback. They are so excited for the stone and some have been inspired with the non-traditional e-ring. I am not embarrassed at all at the thought of a gemstone ring as I don''t agree with the price:quantity ratio of diamonds. They are absolutely ludicrous. For something so ubiquitous and mediocre as a white diamond can be so expensive! I feel proud carrying my taaffeite e-ring as it is among the very very very few in the world.

pics to come!

I think it''s pretty ironic that in a thread where people are discussing getting offended that people refer to colored gemstones e-rings as "not the real thing" that they do not realize that they are doing the exact same thing - i.e. offending people who have diamond e-rings by calling diamonds ubiquitous and mediocre! I personally have a diamond e-ring, which I love and which was perfect for me. I also would not call the amazingly well-cut diamonds that many on this site have posted ubiquitous or mediocre - in fact I think most of us realize that well-cut diamonds are quite rare. For what it''s worth, I am also independent, free-thinking, etc. I just happened to prefer the look of a diamond e-ring for myself. I also appreciate and drool over many of the amazing colored gemstone e-rings posted on this site. I say to each her own! No need to put down others to build yourself up!

I am now stepping off my soapbox!

 

[T L]

Date: 12/23/2008 9:10:17 AM
Author: movie zombie

Date: 12/22/2008 11:58:03 PM
Author: tourmaline_lover
I actually had a white diamond in my e-ring. I hated it and sold it and put a colored stone in there instead (a mandarin spessartite). I do not care for white diamonds, even gargantuan ones. Something about colorless stones bores me, and after a while they all look exactly the same. However, I love colored diamonds.

- another fantastic alternative to your classic boring white diamond. Sorry all you white diamond lovers out there. I actually get more excited about people''s settings vs the actual white diamond center stones.

ETA: I can''t wait to see absolutanne''s taeffite e-ring. Now that''s a stone that''s about a billion times rarer than a diamond, and it will truly be a ''one-of-a-kind.''

TL, didn''t kow you had a spess e-ring!

i so agree with you re being bored by diamonds....except for those lush color ones. i tend towards the champagnes, too.

movie zombie

MZ,
Well, it''s really my e-ring setting. I don''t wear it as an e-ring anymore because the setting is a bit outdated since I got married back in the early 90''s. I love the spess though, it''s really neon and I get comments on it all the time. It''s the pear shaped one I''ve poste pics of before. I absolutely adore your spess though, I think you''ve got the queen of all spessertites. You have an amazing stone there!

 

[T L]

Date: 12/23/2008 11:53:57 AM
Author: NovemberBride

Date: 12/22/2008 11:13:56 PM
Author: absolutanne
I am so glad that I've found this forum. I am absolutanne, aka the Taaffeite E-ring girl. I am now engaged! And my fiance' has presented me with a gorgeous 3.3 ct VS1 taaffeite flanked with 2-0.2 white sapphires on palladium band. I've hyped this stone up so much to many girls and I've gotten nothing but good feedback. They are so excited for the stone and some have been inspired with the non-traditional e-ring. I am not embarrassed at all at the thought of a gemstone ring as I don't agree with the price:quantity ratio of diamonds. They are absolutely ludicrous. For something so ubiquitous and mediocre as a white diamond can be so expensive! I feel proud carrying my taaffeite e-ring as it is among the very very very few in the world.

pics to come!

I think it's pretty ironic that in a thread where people are discussing getting offended that people refer to colored gemstones e-rings as 'not the real thing' that they do not realize that they are doing the exact same thing - i.e. offending people who have diamond e-rings by calling diamonds ubiquitous and mediocre! I personally have a diamond e-ring, which I love and which was perfect for me. I also would not call the amazingly well-cut diamonds that many on this site have posted ubiquitous or mediocre - in fact I think most of us realize that well-cut diamonds are quite rare. For what it's worth, I am also independent, free-thinking, etc. I just happened to prefer the look of a diamond e-ring for myself. I also appreciate and drool over many of the amazing colored gemstone e-rings posted on this site. I say to each her own! No need to put down others to build yourself up!

I am now stepping off my soapbox!

Actually I don't think well cut white diamonds are that rare anymore. You can easily find them, even at the mall under "hearts of fire" and other brand names. Whiteflash also sells many of them, as well as many other great dealers. I think very large, 3+ carat white diamonds are very rare. In the end, I think it's about what you love the most. I'm sorry you were offended. I really do love diamonds, but colored ones. Diamonds are an amazing stone, but they are very very common and very overpriced. This website is about education as well, and it does no good if all we do is say how perfect every single diamond is. I don't care much for other types of gemstones as well, so I speak my mind so I can help someone make a decision. The ultimate truth is that white diamonds are extremely common, in fact I once read this (I wish I could find the reference article), but if you were to price a one carat clean white diamond without the artificial markup that DeBeers forces on the diamond industry, it would be $50. Actually much of the cost comes from cutting the stones since they are so difficult and time consuming to cut.

 

[benell]

I think this thread is doing a good job showing the catch-22 of colored gemstones. Many of us obviously feel that they are under-appreciated; however, if they were appreciate the way we feel they should be do you realize how much they would cost? Would we really be happy if suddenly everyone wanted a gemstone e-ring, causing prices to go up 10-times or more? Sure, the gems we own would be worth a fortune, but we wouldn't be able to afford new ones so I wouldn't be happy about that.

 

[jjdav]

I just received my sapphire e-ring 4 days ago and I still can''t stop looking at it (bit of a hazard when you''re driving)

. I''ve not had strong feelings towards gemstones or diamonds before, I just wanted something unique. It was mostly my FI''s idea (I''ve always liked greens and blues, but just didn''t know much about them), when asked me what what colors I liked, I started to do some research on pricing and colors etc. it turns out that sapphires are also quite durable and possibly even less brittle, I thought, what a neat package! It was also a happy coincidence that sapphires represented sincerity and loyalty. The more we looked, the surer we where about our choice.

I told the story of my four female co-workers who received their 0.95 to 1.1 carat round, beautiful white diamond solitaire rings within about 12 months of each other in another thread. They were all very impressed with mine ring, and one of them commented ''I''ve never seen an e-ring like this, it turned out so much better than I thought!''. I''m just happy that I got something different

and to choose what I wanted.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 12/23/2008 12:15:02 PM
Author: tourmaline_lover
Actually much of the cost comes from cutting the stones since they are so difficult and time consuming to cut.

Nope--cost mainly comes from mining amongst a myriad of other reasons. We see this type of pricing structure in many markets today in this global economy. The diamond market is merely one of many. There is an enormous force of cheap labor cutting diamonds in India, where efficiency is paramount.

Want a colored stone for an e-ring?--great! enjoy!
Want a diamond for an e-ring?--great! enjoy!

If people question your choice--tell them to bug off--haha.

For me, with all stones, it's the properties that create desire. Diamonds have a great combo of properties--RI, hardness, luster, dispersion. Garnets have great combinations of properties as well--RI, luster, isomorphous replacement etc.

Wear whatever gem you love.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 12/22/2008 8:56:15 PM
Author: LostSapphire
Welcome to the CLUB!

There's another thread out there asking about who has a non-diamond engagement ring....if I can find it I'll link.

I believe the consensus was that WE are all very special, independent, free-thinking, intelligent women. I'm sure Pandora, Laurel, MZ and Gecko will add a few more adjectives.

Amazing, spectacular, creative women gifted with impeccible taste and style.

How's that?

Seriously though, while I don't have a colored ering, I had originally wanted one, and while I love my diamond to bits, I do sometimes yearn for some colored bling!

My sister has a gorgeous sapphire ering (she actually stole my design.... but that's a whole 'nother story!), and dealt with the usual confusion about whether or not it was an ering. Once you add the band people *usually* stop acting stupid about it, at least in her case.

If colored stones are what you love - get your sapphire, and rock that colored bling for all you are worth!

ETA: tourmailine lover - Hee hee - my diamond was boring before I got my new setting, LOL!