Thoughts on NOT sending Save the Dates?

[Gypsy]

All of FI''s family and friends who live in NJ that we would WANT to attend would get the information by Word of mouth. I COULD send them STD''s as it would total less than 10 of them. My immedate family would get word of mouth notice. And well, the rest... I don''t really WANT all of them to come (keep costs down, not close to them, mostly my parent''s friends) so, I''m ah... thinking advance notice isn''t something I really want to give anyone. Is it okay to pick and choose WHO you give STD''s to? I COULD reasonably argue that only the people who don''t live in CA would get STD''s. So that''s like 15 of them.

What do you think? Our guest list is at ninety. And I want a 50-60 person sized event.

Maybe they''ll make other plans?

 

[goldenstar]

I think not sending formal Save the Dates is fine because its not really a required sort of thing. Its a courtesy and if you tell the VIP''s in NJ over the phone or something that would do the job. I think its all or nothing though, either send them to everyone or no one. You wouldn''t want anyone to feel left out.

 

[bee*]

I don''t know anyone that has done save the dates over here so I''m not doing them either. Can''t see their being a problem with not doing them.

 

[Gypsy]

Okay. That's fair.

As soon as we book the venue (I now have a total of 6 candidates for venues, I feel like I'm juggling balls in the air) we'll set up our wedding website. I'll send the link to the wedding site we've set up to John's immedate family, and ask them to not share the information with anyone else. That's the way I'll do it.

 

[cara]

If there are only 15 out of towners, you could just give advance notice to them, by email or save the date.

Anyone you want to come that needs to buy an airplane ticket should get more that the standard 6-8 week notice for an invite, in my book.

ETA: We didn't send savethedates to most local people - only out of towners and locals IN the wedding. It gave us a bit of flexibility on numbers and seemed to work well, but most of our guests were out-of-towners thus received save-the-dates.

 

[Gypsy]

Okay. Anyone I want to come who needs airfare. Well, then it really depends on whether or not I want them to come come doesn''t it? Or if it''s just someone I HAVE to invite, but would rather not have show up. LOL.