Time vs, Money

[Mashira]

I''ve seen many ladies get flamed on here because they have equated the carat size of their diamond to
how much their FH loves them. I am NOT one of those people. I have a different sort of idea, and I just
want to know if any of you ladies feel this way:

I don''t care what carat, cut, clarity etc... my diamond ends up being. That is not to say that I don''t
hope for the best, but I will not be disappointed if I don''t get my ''dream ring''. I think the specs of a
ring just go to show your financial situation, or where you put your priorities (Ex: Small ring, big wedding
or small ring, small wedding, big honeymoon for the two of you). So, I would like to make clear that I do
NOT care about the money that goes into a ring.

What I do seem to put a lot of emphasis on is time. For some reason, the time that my FH puts into learning
about diamonds, researching the web, looking at stones, and trying to find the best diamond for me means a lot
to me. I think the effort that goes into finding the rings is much more important than the ring itself.

Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[peach_tea_for_me]

My Bf''s family has a stone, so he doesn''t have to get that. However, I totally agree with you about how much time he puts in, I feel like him doing some research and taking the time to find the perfect ring that he is excited about means SO much more to me than he would probably ever know!
So...what is your "dream ring"???

 

[sctsbride09]

I think its perfectly natural for you to want your BF to take an active partication in finding your stone. I personally, picked my own ring, setting and stone. I love my husband to death, but he is not the type of man who is going to get all into stone stats, etc. He wanted me to have the best ring possible for our budget, and he also knows how, ahem, thrifty I can be.(he wouldnt have been able to get the ring I did at a mall, which is were lots of guys go) So it was really about me having exactly what I wanted, because he knows Im sentimental and will NEVER upgrade. That being said, I think its so sweet when a guy does "homework"on diamonds. But , it doesnt mean he loves you any more or any less, just in a different style.

Some guys just dont care about jewelry the way we do, and you cant fault a guy for that.

 

[amc80]

I think with all things, it depends on the person. I do 100% agree that love does not equate to diamond size. But I don''t know if I''d agree that time is an indication of anything either. I am doing all of the legwork for my ring, not because he''s not interested, but because I enjoy it. So maybe I would say money vs. interest...

Put it this way- he wants a Harley. If I were to buy him one, I would want him to do the research and pick out exactly what he wanted, and then I would sign the papers. Just because I''m not doing all of the research doesn''t mean I love him any less.

 

[Autumnovember]

I agree with you to an extent but I also have to say that I have not met any girls who equate their carat size to how much FF loves them. To be honest, anyone who does feel that way needs to reevaluate their relationships and priorities. I don't think time equates it either.

 

[amc80]

Date: 7/2/2010 4:44:49 PM
Author: sctsbride09
So it was really about me having exactly what I wanted, because he knows Im sentimental and will NEVER upgrade.

Ditto.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 7/2/2010 4:31:27 PM
Author:Mashira
I''ve seen many ladies get flamed on here because they have equated the carat size of their diamond to
how much their FH loves them. I am NOT one of those people. I have a different sort of idea, and I just
want to know if any of you ladies feel this way:

Yikes. I''ve never seen anyone on Pricescope equate the carat size of their diamond with how much their FH loves them. Maybe I''m reading the wrong threads...

For me, my FI didn''t need to prove anything to me with the ring - not by how much money or time he spent on it. I know he loves me and he shows me his love and commitment in many other ways. The ring is just a perk of getting engaged to me.

 

[Autumnovember]

Date: 7/2/2010 5:05:04 PM
Author: lucyandroger

Date: 7/2/2010 4:31:27 PM

Author:Mashira

I''ve seen many ladies get flamed on here because they have equated the carat size of their diamond to

how much their FH loves them. I am NOT one of those people. I have a different sort of idea, and I just

want to know if any of you ladies feel this way:

Yikes. I''ve never seen anyone on Pricescope equate the carat size of their diamond with how much their FH loves them. Maybe I''m reading the wrong threads...


For me, my FI didn''t need to prove anything to me with the ring - not by how much money or time he spent on it. I know he loves me and he shows me his love and commitment in many other ways. The ring is just a perk of getting engaged to me.

Ditto to this completely... I have not seen anyone on PS or real life equate carat size to love ...thats absurd and what gold diggers/materialistic people do.

 

[beezygal]

a dream ring is just icing on the cake.

 

[Jessie702]

For me i want him and not the ring. Granted the ring is a nice gift he could give me, but its not that imporant. I know women who think they have to have the biggest and best stone but i dont, two of my sisters for instance is like this. One sister''s dimaond is so big, its too big for her fingers, and the setting is so blingy its crazy.She also had to have a HUGE wedding...upwards of 300 people, and her parents took a second on the mortage for part of it, and they just recently finished paying the wedding off, note 7 years later, i believe the wedding cost more than 100k. My other sister HAD to have a 2 ct Radiant, now she isnt even married to the guy and hes still making payments on her ring.I dont want nor need to go into debt over a ring, or wedding, nor would i want him to. I love him more than that. I would much rather have a modest or Nice diamond, and have money in the bank for a trip, for the hooneymoon, or just for a rainy day. GRANTED it would be nice to have a nice 1.5 carat or large

, but its not what is imporant. He is imporant. Also, i get what you are saying about the SO putting in time to find out what is the best, and i agree to a point. I know my SO....and if he dooes a lot of reaseach he will become obessive about find the best, and that will take away from it.

He can be quiet obessive about things at times

. Also, i sometimes wonder if i want him to surpise me with the ring, OR we have fun going around to stores and try to find the ring together. Somedays i think i would rather have him just ask me, but in a sweet romantic way, so pretty much plan the proposal. Than we go finding the ring together. I like when we make big plans together.

 

[Mashira]

it seems that half of this thread is missing....

 

[merbear1215]

Don't think what you spend is AT ALL representativ of how you feel.

When I first when it to choose my setting and elements of the design the jeweler said "hold on, I think I have one that is perfect for you, close your eyes." And she put it on my finger. She was obviously being sarcastic about thinking it was perfect for me. It was HUGE. Probably a 3 carat round center stone, then on each side was a pear that was probably about one carat. I was in shock. It was enormous. I asked her how much it cost and she said $50,000. Then I started asking her about if the guy had designed it (because I think men, more than women, think bigger is better), what the girl said she wanted (since the ring was rather unique, and not my taste at all). And, the jeweler said, "oh no, he hasn't been in, he just called my boss and said this was his budget and this or that or whatever was what he was looking at."

I have to say, I thought "wow, I would so much rather have guy who cared so much he went in there to pick it out than the guy who could spend a ton but not even be bothered with going into the store." SO was in there like five times, laboriously going through the stones, making sure he found the right one, etc. And my ring cost a heck of a lot less than that.......

 

[AustenNut]

Re:

I think its perfectly natural for you to want your BF to take an active partication in finding your stone. I personally, picked my own ring, setting and stone. I love my husband to death, but he is not the type of man who is going to get all into stone stats, etc.  He wanted me to have the best ring possible for our budget, and he also knows how, ahem, thrifty I can be.(he wouldnt have been able to get the ring I did at a mall, which is were lots of guys go) So it was really about me having exactly what I wanted, because he knows Im sentimental and will NEVER upgrade. That being said, I think its so sweet when a guy does "homework"on diamonds. But , it doesnt mean he loves you any more or any less, just in a different style.

 Some guys just dont care about jewelry the way we do, and you cant fault a guy for that.

Exactly. I picked everything out too. It's just not my fiance's area of expertise (or interest) and we got a much better deal this way too, as my fiance doesn't really look at prices at all. But he loves me, and wants to make me happy; his time or expertise in jewelry just isn't reflective of that.

 

[HVVS]

...have not seen anyone on PS or real life equate carat size to love ...thats absurd and what gold diggers/materialistic people do.

I have, frequently, and they generally were not gold-diggers or materialists. There was at least one thread about that train of thought here in the past 12 months or so. Lots of people tend to equate the expense of the ring with love, simply because so many men out there will buy the absolute cheapest piece of junk they can get away with and still call it an engagement ring. PS men actually are not the norm. They study diamonds and try to pick something very nice, even if the budget is limited. There must be a whole other 75% of guys outside of PS who feel really put-upon to have to spend money on a ring, and that's why the spectators say "Oh, he must really love you!" if the woman gets a decent e-ring.