Tipping your vendors
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FireGoddess
Super_Ideal_Rock
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I,too, am interested to know what is customary and what is expected...We are doing an open house at my home to honor my son and his new bride on the Saturday after the wedding. The open house is for all of those who live close to us and who have known my son for the past 16 years. Since the actual wedding and reception is being held a great distance away, we felt having this open house would be appropriate, but since I will have a caterer and may have a bakery do the cake(s), I really would like to know how to tactfully handle this...
teebee
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I''ve heard so many different things on tipping - who to tip, who not to tip, when to tip, when not to tip, blah, blah, blah...
I''m starting to feel like tipping is a game of "how much more expensive can we make this wedding?" and I don''t wanna play!!
I''ve heard it''s customary to tip photographers and DJ if you are happy with their services... Well, with the photographer, how would you know until you get the pics?
And there are several vendors that I think I will handle like tipping in a hair salon - like you know how you are supposed to tip your stylist if they are not the salon owner, but if your stylist is also the owner, it''s not necessary? For example:
~ DJ: is not employed by anyone but himself and his clients - so even though I''m sure he will do a fantastic job, I don''t think I need to tip him - his fee is his fee that I pay to him, not a company that gives him a salary, and he does not have any employees with whom he must pay so... no tip.
~ Photographer is the same way. He is well known and established and the owner of his studio. He has associate photographers but he, the owner, is the photographer doing our wedding. Were it one of the associates, I would feel more obliged to tip.
I do plan on tipping the hair/makeup people, the officiant, and waitstaff/bartender at reception. I won''t even be around when the cake people deliver the cake and they charge for delivery so... no tip necessary I think. Flowers... I''m not sure about - mainly because we''ve agreed that we will pick up the flowers (pre-arranged) from the florists and place the centerpieces in the reception room ourselves (this saves us $500 on delivery & set-up) so I''m up in the air about it... Guess it will depend on how they do on the arrangements...
I''m starting to feel like tipping is a game of "how much more expensive can we make this wedding?" and I don''t wanna play!!
I''ve heard it''s customary to tip photographers and DJ if you are happy with their services... Well, with the photographer, how would you know until you get the pics?
And there are several vendors that I think I will handle like tipping in a hair salon - like you know how you are supposed to tip your stylist if they are not the salon owner, but if your stylist is also the owner, it''s not necessary? For example:
~ DJ: is not employed by anyone but himself and his clients - so even though I''m sure he will do a fantastic job, I don''t think I need to tip him - his fee is his fee that I pay to him, not a company that gives him a salary, and he does not have any employees with whom he must pay so... no tip.
~ Photographer is the same way. He is well known and established and the owner of his studio. He has associate photographers but he, the owner, is the photographer doing our wedding. Were it one of the associates, I would feel more obliged to tip.
I do plan on tipping the hair/makeup people, the officiant, and waitstaff/bartender at reception. I won''t even be around when the cake people deliver the cake and they charge for delivery so... no tip necessary I think. Flowers... I''m not sure about - mainly because we''ve agreed that we will pick up the flowers (pre-arranged) from the florists and place the centerpieces in the reception room ourselves (this saves us $500 on delivery & set-up) so I''m up in the air about it... Guess it will depend on how they do on the arrangements...
Tacori E-ring
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I plan to tip my hair stylist. I'm a regular client of hers, and I recently found out that she'll do my hair for free as her wedding gift to me. Yay!
I'm not tipping my photog or DJ. They each own their own business and set their own fees. From what I can tell, they don't have any assistants or anything.
I don't think I'm tipping the wait staff or bartenders because there is a 18% service charge already added to the food and bar tabs, plus a separate bartender fee.
I'm not tipping my florist or cake lady, either. They each own their own business (and set their own prices), and charge delivery prices.
I'm not tipping my officiant, either. He's my step-dad!
I'm not tipping my photog or DJ. They each own their own business and set their own fees. From what I can tell, they don't have any assistants or anything.
I don't think I'm tipping the wait staff or bartenders because there is a 18% service charge already added to the food and bar tabs, plus a separate bartender fee.
I'm not tipping my florist or cake lady, either. They each own their own business (and set their own prices), and charge delivery prices.
I'm not tipping my officiant, either. He's my step-dad!
selflove
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Amen to that! I couldn''t agree more!
18% service charge (taxable) is already included in our banquet charge so no tips for the waitstaff. The event coordinator (who is employed by the restaurant as well) is charging me $100 to set out the centerpieces, votives, and favors. That''s gonna be her "tip".
My photographer is self-employed; therefore, I feel that his fee should include a tip. My "tip" will be recommending him to other people. He can have a free dinner. And cocktails after he''s done shooting
My DJ is also self-employed so I think his fee should be tip-inclusive. He can have dinner and cocktails too.
The limo driver gets an automatic 20% tip in the total price I pay. ''Nuff said.
Tip the baker? I''ve never heard of that. Call me cheap but I''m not tipping the baker.
Maybe I''ll tip my makeup artist but she''s also self-employed.
My hairstylist is doing my hair as my wedding gift so I''d feel like an ass giving her a tip on top of it.
Now that I''m itemizing all these things, most vendors either have a tip included or they are self-employed professionals to whom a "tip" seems, well, unnecessary. (I mean, my dad''s a self-employed professional and no one ever tips him, they just pay his professional fee.)
FireGoddess
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selflove
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Tanyak--I am not tipping mine. She''s also a guest at the wedding. I would feel kind of awkward. I''m not sure how she''d feel about it but I think she would turn it down even if I tried to tip her. When I asked her several months ago how much the charge would be for the bridesmaids'' hair she mentioned that she''s giving me my hair as a wedding gift. So if it''s a gift, I think it kind of demeans the gift to give a tip.
blodthecat
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selflove
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teebee
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And that is exactly how it should be!!! The fee for a good or service should exactly cover that good/service - and there should be no need to tip for outstanding good or service because I expect something outstanding for my money in the first place - there should be no room for above and beyond when we are paying the kinds of prices we are paying...Date: 4/25/2006 4:33:08 PM
Author: blodthecat
I live in the UK and the price quoted is exactly what you pay!! end of story.
We are not mean...just like to know where we stand!
Seriously, we all know that there is probably quite a large markup built into many of these prices to begin with because of the nature of the business - namely, this is not a recurring event and so most businesses that cater to brides do not have to worry if she is or is not a lifelong customer... Only now with message boards such as this and the knot are vendors actually having to worry about their reputations since brides have an actual voice with which to reach many other potential customers.
Sorry for my rant... but sometimes enough is enough ya know?
selflove
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I concur!!!! And my "tip" will be posting rave reviews on all these message boards so that they can grow their businesses. How''s that!Date: 4/25/2006 7:01:58 PM
Author: teebee
And that is exactly how it should be!!! The fee for a good or service should exactly cover that good/service - and there should be no need to tip for outstanding good or service because I expect something outstanding for my money in the first place - there should be no room for above and beyond when we are paying the kinds of prices we are paying...Date: 4/25/2006 4:33:08 PM
Author: blodthecat
I live in the UK and the price quoted is exactly what you pay!! end of story.
We are not mean...just like to know where we stand!
Seriously, we all know that there is probably quite a large markup built into many of these prices to begin with because of the nature of the business - namely, this is not a recurring event and so most businesses that cater to brides do not have to worry if she is or is not a lifelong customer... Only now with message boards such as this and the knot are vendors actually having to worry about their reputations since brides have an actual voice with which to reach many other potential customers.
Sorry for my rant... but sometimes enough is enough ya know?
FireGoddess
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Truth be told I wish it were that way here. The tipping system really irks me. Why should waiters get less than minimum wage and rely on tips from patrons to make their salary? Why should we pay more than the price quoted? It does suck.Date: 4/25/2006 4:33:08 PM
Author: blodthecat
I live in the UK and the price quoted is exactly what you pay!! end of story.
We are not mean...just like to know where we stand!
I used to go to a small salon to get facials till I was referred somewhere else. In both salons all facials were done by the salon owners. At that first place, I''d get the credit card charge and there would be a line for tips. And they''d just look at you while you filled it out. It was expected even though you are not supposed to tip the owner. At the second salon, they credit charge was just that - no line for tips. I tried to give her a tip, and she shooed it away, as it should be. But the second salon owner is British. She''s got it right.
ellaila
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Wanted to BUMP this one since I was just wondering about this myself!
I totally thought that we had to tip everyone until I started doing some research on it, and WHEW, what a relief! We are def. not tipping the florist or photographer, and we don't have a band or DJ to worry about. Our venue does include a hefty gratuity fee, but we may tip the one woman we've been working with exclusively there because she's been great -- but that would because we want to, not because we're obligated to. Big difference I thnk! To me, that's what a tip should be -- a "thank you" not a "here's more damn money that I have to give you!"
A friend is doing my hair, so I will be giving her a thank you gift rather than a tip. I suppose the makeup girl will get a little something extra, although that really kind of bugs me because really, don't they charge enough as is?! I'm certainly not wearing $125 worth of makeup!
Martha's got some good info here: http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml?&type=content&id=channel185945&site=&page=1
I totally thought that we had to tip everyone until I started doing some research on it, and WHEW, what a relief! We are def. not tipping the florist or photographer, and we don't have a band or DJ to worry about. Our venue does include a hefty gratuity fee, but we may tip the one woman we've been working with exclusively there because she's been great -- but that would because we want to, not because we're obligated to. Big difference I thnk! To me, that's what a tip should be -- a "thank you" not a "here's more damn money that I have to give you!"
A friend is doing my hair, so I will be giving her a thank you gift rather than a tip. I suppose the makeup girl will get a little something extra, although that really kind of bugs me because really, don't they charge enough as is?! I'm certainly not wearing $125 worth of makeup!
Martha's got some good info here: http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml?&type=content&id=channel185945&site=&page=1
NewShiny
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I agree with most everything that''s been said here.
But, I don''t think anyone has brought up tipping some of the people that are doing hard work and NOT getting paid for it. For instance, we tipped the flower delivery set up guys, not the florist herself. We tipped the guy that delivered and set up the cake, not the bakery, etc. These are the people who go the extra mile to get your things/services set up on time. We didn''t tip the photographer/videographer, or the reception site people (that''s what the 18% ''service'' charge is for). However, our DJ did such a great job we did tip him generously. And, I paid the hair/makeup people in advance for my bridal party (this was part of my gift to them), and the bridal party gave them tips since they didn''t have to pay anything in the first place.
Don''t forget about the ''little'' people. They are the ones that will make your day run smoothly.
But, I don''t think anyone has brought up tipping some of the people that are doing hard work and NOT getting paid for it. For instance, we tipped the flower delivery set up guys, not the florist herself. We tipped the guy that delivered and set up the cake, not the bakery, etc. These are the people who go the extra mile to get your things/services set up on time. We didn''t tip the photographer/videographer, or the reception site people (that''s what the 18% ''service'' charge is for). However, our DJ did such a great job we did tip him generously. And, I paid the hair/makeup people in advance for my bridal party (this was part of my gift to them), and the bridal party gave them tips since they didn''t have to pay anything in the first place.
Don''t forget about the ''little'' people. They are the ones that will make your day run smoothly.
Gypsy
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Flowers, the lady is just charging me for the flowers. So I'm definitely giving her a great tip... she's not even a guestor someone I knew beforehand.
Cake lady... I'm getting charged delivery... but I think she'll deliver it herself, so I'm not tipping. If I book the bakery instead of the cake lady I'll tip the delivery guy... but not the bakery their prices are ASTRONOMICAL as it is.
Venues charge a % already.
Photographer-- both I'm considering own the business so no tip-- but obviously a vendor meal will be provided.
Hair and makeup... depends on who I use I suppose.
Cake lady... I'm getting charged delivery... but I think she'll deliver it herself, so I'm not tipping. If I book the bakery instead of the cake lady I'll tip the delivery guy... but not the bakery their prices are ASTRONOMICAL as it is.
Venues charge a % already.
Photographer-- both I'm considering own the business so no tip-- but obviously a vendor meal will be provided.
Hair and makeup... depends on who I use I suppose.
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