To tan or not to tan? And other things you can plan as a LIW

[aliciagirl]

So, I figured that there aren''t many wedding details we can plan as LIWs, but I figured there were definitely things that we have planned. Haha.

Are you planning to tan for your wedding? And those of you who are already married but still venture over, did you tan? And do you wish you had/hadn''t? I am very pale and I''m torn. BF has always told me that he loved pale skin (I just thought he was trying to pick me up back when we were 16 and he was going on about pale, brunnete girls, haha) so I think he would be disappointed if I tanned. But, I think I would look better in any gown/pictures/etc if I did. I''m not even sure I -can- tan, lol, to be honest. Because I''ve never had a tanline

I wish I could be pale for the wedding but tan for the tropical honeymoon we''ve talked about... I guess I can dream.

Also, have you guys thought about who you are going to take wedding dress shopping with you? Or where you want to go? Or any other details? Have you thought about bridesmaid choices or colors?

We''ve talked in depth about a location, only because we are from rural WV and well, nicer places are kind of hard to come by. So we know we''ll need to book it ASAP. That''s about as far as I''ve gotten.

So ladies, let''s talk about plans we can make as LIW!

 

[Pandora II]

I avoid the sun like the plague - I'm very, very pale and burnt badly when I was growing up in the tropics, so I'm high risk for melanoma.

I wear factor 30 on my face everyday of the year.

I did think about a fake tan, but I'm worried about it rubbing off on the dress or going orange or streaky etc.

In the end, I decided that pale skin would look way better with a tudor style wedding dress, so no tan for me.

 

[mimzy]

i''m not going to ''tan'' and i wouldn''t if i were you either!

i think pale is more beautiful. think nicole kidman - look up her wedding pictures, she''s gorgeous and as pale as they come. besides, you don''t want to look *weird* on your wedding day, which you probably will if you add any noticeable color to your skin. i guess not ''weird'', just unlike yourself. aside from that, tanning is horrible for you! i think it is okay to be a little vain on your wedding day, but don''t do anything drastic or "experimental". you''ll probably regret it.

and yes. i have all of that planned

 

[sera]

I''m pale and I don''t have a problem with it... compliments and jokes come along with pale skin... but it is what it is and I am what I am.

I do not plan to tan by sun or salon or spray.

I would normally say to do what makes you feel comfortable and pretty... but in this case I won''t because it''s not worth the risk of melanoma. Now, if you can find a great tan in a can, that''s something else.

********************

L''s for love.

 

[mintve]

I think about this too. I''ve never been to a tanning bed and never really ever lay out to get a tan and if I am in the sun, I wear 30+ SPF. I do use the lotion that has the tint in it to give you the subtle glow. I do like that. I like the Vaseline and jergens for fair skin the best.

I’ve had the spray on tan in a booth, like Ross did on Friends. It was OK. Some areas got a bit splotchy b/c you have to blend it in really well. And once before a cruise I had the full on spray tan where you stand there in your birthday suit wearing a hair net, in front of a mirror with your arms stretched out while a woman sprays you with a tan. It was a very strange experience. The tan grew darker and darker over the next few hours and maxed out after like 8. When I woke up the next day, I felt like an oompa loompa. I think it was because I am so used to my fair skin tone. In photos, I looked really good. She warned me that the ocean, hot tubs, pools, etc would fade the tan, so needless to say, it did not last long, but it looked good in photos.

Heed this warning though; it does bleed a bit onto white, so it will likely bleed onto a wedding dress. In fact, I used to be a wedding coordinator in Vegas at Caesars Palace and some girls had really bad fake tans that would leave marks on their dresses, their husband suits and the roman columns where they would pose for photos. The same thing with girls who tried to cover up tattoos. It was always more of a mess. Its would have looked better to just let the tattoo be seen.

I guess my vote is for the tinted moisturizer…

Anyway, that is all just my experience.

 

[Deelight]

Date: 11/30/2007 10:04:57 AM
Author: mintve

Heed this warning though; it does bleed a bit onto white, so it will likely bleed onto a wedding dress. In fact, I used to be a wedding coordinator in Vegas at Caesars Palace and some girls had really bad fake tans that would leave marks on their dresses, their husband suits and the roman columns where they would pose for photos. The same thing with girls who tried to cover up tattoos. It was always more of a mess. Its would have looked better to just let the tattoo be seen.

Yahhha and it stains big time happened to my friend her dress on the inside was covered in it

I am pale and I love it there is nothing wrong with it I have fairly dark features as in eyes and hair and to me it compliments my fairer complexion , plus because I am not a slave to tanning I look younger then many people my age who go golden, so yeah I will be paler then pale for my big day pale rules

 

[aliciagirl]

I think if I honestly went the tan route, people''s jaws would drop and I would hear gasping over the audience. Haha, and not because I''m a stunning bride, just because I''m a tan one.

I don''t mind being pale in everyday life or for my wedding. I just wish I could wake up the morning of my honeymoon and have instantly tan skin without having to do anything.... sheesh, I guess I can keep dreaming.

 

[littlelysser]

I totally tanned. I''ll admit it. I didn''t get so tan I looked silly, but the wedding was on September 1...outside, warm day, and I thought I''d look better tan.

Not super tan, but I wanted to have some color in my pictures.

Plus, DH and I were leaving for a 9 day honeymoon in Kaua''i two days after the wedding...and I wanted to enjoy spending time in the sun and the water, which isn''t possible in Hawaii without a decent base tan...

I get that tanning is bad...and I wear moisturizer with SPF on my face...but I don''t regret my decision ONE BIT!

 

[Shannon72781]

No tan for me either. I''m a natural redhead (think uber-pale skin, lots o'' freckles) and I don''t think I could tan if I tried to. Unless it was a fake tan

However, I''ve embraced my paleness and wear my sunscreen every single day on my face. I may be pale, but my skin is going to look awesome when I''m 80!

 

[Aloros]

That''s a thought. We''ll probably be getting married late summer/early fall. I tan easily, so I guess it''ll depend on how much time I spend outdoors!

What about tan lines? I may just load up on the SPF (ehhh...which sort of works...I usually still tan a little bit), but every summer I get some sort of tan line, without fail.

It seems like staying pale, or attempting such, is the least risky option.

 

[mirre]

For the ones going the tan route and worried about tan lines being seen in the dress... when you are outdoors wear a strapless shirt. No tan lines... well... not any you''ll see anyway, like on your shoulders where most tan lines from swim suits are.

I have also done the stand in the buff (but I kept my undies on) spray tan. It did look good and not streaks... but it didn''t last as long as she said it would. I think it was suppose to last about a month and it lasted about a week.

 

[Independent Gal]

I''ll get one of those fake spray-tans - less cancerous. I''m very pale and having a little colour hides flaws. I''ll just go a shade or two darker. Nothing drastic. I want to look slightly summer sun-kissed, not ''just got back from Jamaican beach holiday'' kind of tanned.

And yes, I plan to do a trial run!

 

[Rhea]

No tan. I''m pale with very dark features (nick name - Snow White) and love it. I don''t tan at all anyhow. Burn to a red which sticks for about 4-5 weeks and then goes white again. I avoid the sun like a plague - I don''t want skin damage.

I''m impatient and frustrate easily so anything that requires time - like fake tanning - so that''s out for me.

 

[DMBsGirl]

I was watching a special on weddings on the style network and they pointed out that tanning for your wedding day is not necessary. Because most wedding dresses are either white or ivory, even the palest skin will look darker in comparison to the dress. They also pointed out the dreaded "oompa loompa" effect that happens when a bride is too tan, the contrast between the orangey tan and white dress is not a good look! I sometimes tan in the summertime but in the winter I embrace my skin in all its pale glory! I've actually grown to like the look of my pale skin, dark hair and light eyes. I won't deliberately tan for my wedding.

 

[LiveLaughLove]

I''m not married yet (or even engaged!) but as a former tanning bed-addict, I will NOT be using tanning beds before my wedding day. I stopped tanning in beds about a year ago, and I wear SPF 30 (at least) when I go out in the sun. I really really like Dove Energy Glow....it''s a gradual self-tanner/mosturizer, and it''s way more natural than regular self-tanners. Not orange at all.

 

[risingsun]

Please don''t use a tanning bed and be very careful in the sun. I used to be a sun worshipper and I am paying a heavy price for that now

 

[monarch64]

I''m not fair skinned, and I used to be a tanning bed lover...I did tan before my wedding but like someone else mentioned, I had an outdoor wedding in Sept. and wanted a summer glow. I stopped tanning over a year ago but I do use a tinted moisturizer and bronzer now...my skin just looks better with a little color added.

I think fair skin is gorgeous. For pictures, though, I think it''s a good idea to use bronzer strategically and have your makeup done professionally so you don''t appear washed out. A good makeup artist can highlight your features so that you look natural but a little "brighter." Since you have very fair skin, I don''t think it''s a good idea for you to start tanning just because you''re getting married...your FI and everyone else in your life love you and think you''re beautiful the way you are, and yes, they would be shocked if you walk down the aisle looking completely different.

Besides bronzer, you can use luminous or shimmery powder on your collarbone, shoulders, etc., to get a very glowy effect...I used a little roll-on body glitter and it wasn''t crazy sparkly but just a nice shimmery effect and made my skin look really pretty in pics and irl.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 12/1/2007 7:44:07 PM
Author: risingsun
Please don''t use a tanning bed and be very careful in the sun. I used to be a sun worshipper and I am paying a heavy price for that now

I''m really sorry to hear that Marian, I''m presuming you mean melanoma - if so, I wish you all the best with your treatment.

My FSIL just finished chemo in May for a stage 4 melanoma on her shoulder. Her lymph nodes were all clear on biopsy though which was a good sign. She has a CT scan etc on the 16th Dec and is terrified it might not be clear.

She''s only 30, has just come back from her honeymoon, and has a 60% chance of surviving the next 5 years. She has also been advised not to get pregnant for the next 2 years as the hormones could potentially provoke a recurrence.

Tanning is so not worth the risk.

If nothing else you look younger. I have always protected my skin 365 days a year and it does show.

I was quite shocked when I tried to buy alcohol in a store in Chicago and they asked me my age and for ID - I''m 35 for goodness sake.! Is it normal to ask everyone this question in the US?

 

[Alienor]

I am getting married at the end of this month and i seriously thought about tanning.
Then, i thought is it really worth the risk?
I know i am very pale and it will be obvious but is it worth increasing your chances of getting cancer?
I don''t think so.

We should all accept the way we naturally are. There is nothing wrong with it.

 

[Neveah]

There is a difference between "tan" and "a little bit of color"
To be honest, I was in my cousins wedding last year. She has beautiful, porcelein, pale skin. She had no hint of color (didn''t tan or spray)
All of the bridesmaids had color (again not tan, like we''d been laying out religiously. but a little warm glow)
And the picutes of the entire wedding party..... she looks like a GHOST. She stands out... and not for the right reasons.
HOWEVER this was only in the pictures.... in person of course she looked incredibly beautiful and I didn''t think of her on her wedding day as being ghostly pale. But even she freaked out after seeing pictures. We reassured her it wasn''t like that "in the flesh"
Just something to think about!

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 12/2/2007 3:35:11 PM
Author: Neveah
There is a difference between 'tan' and 'a little bit of color'

To be honest, I was in my cousins wedding last year. She has beautiful, porcelein, pale skin. She had no hint of color (didn't tan or spray)

All of the bridesmaids had color (again not tan, like we'd been laying out religiously. but a little warm glow)

And the picutes of the entire wedding party..... she looks like a GHOST. She stands out... and not for the right reasons.

HOWEVER this was only in the pictures.... in person of course she looked incredibly beautiful and I didn't think of her on her wedding day as being ghostly pale. But even she freaked out after seeing pictures. We reassured her it wasn't like that 'in the flesh'

Just something to think about!

That's what I am afraid of. I mean, if you see a group of girls in bikinis in a picture at the beach, sure enough the really pale girl looks the worst. I think having a tan really hides flaws like stretch marks or cellulite and us pale girls have to go "flaws out" all the time. This is awful and terrible of me, I know. But I'm always -that- girl. I don't want to be really dark and would definitely never actually tan in the sun or in a bed (especially because I worked for a cancer center over the summer and saw first hand how bad of an idea that is), but I think I need some light sunless tanner or something so that I don't look ghostly. Especially because my wedding will likely be in July or August.

 

[Blenheim]

It just wasn''t worth it to me, plus I wanted to look like myself (well, a prettier bridal version of myself

) and looking like myself means looking pale.

If you think that a tan might better hide flaws, you could also talk to your photographer and see if they''d be willing to photoshop whatever you''re sensitive about out of the images instead of risking damage to your skin. Of course, that would only change the pictures and not how you look to the people around you, but I''m sure that they''re used to you being pale.

Just to show that you can look pale without looking like a ghost, here''s a picture of me with my bridesmaids. The middle one was born with darker skin and lives on the beach in Southern CA, so she''s always going to look darker than me. I don''t think that the other two tanned before the wedding, but they both look fabulous to me.

 

[Neveah]

Date: 12/2/2007 3:47:00 PM
Author: aliciagirl

Date: 12/2/2007 3:35:11 PM
Author: Neveah
There is a difference between ''tan'' and ''a little bit of color''

To be honest, I was in my cousins wedding last year. She has beautiful, porcelein, pale skin. She had no hint of color (didn''t tan or spray)

All of the bridesmaids had color (again not tan, like we''d been laying out religiously. but a little warm glow)

And the picutes of the entire wedding party..... she looks like a GHOST. She stands out... and not for the right reasons.

HOWEVER this was only in the pictures.... in person of course she looked incredibly beautiful and I didn''t think of her on her wedding day as being ghostly pale. But even she freaked out after seeing pictures. We reassured her it wasn''t like that ''in the flesh''

Just something to think about!

That''s what I am afraid of. I mean, if you see a group of girls in bikinis in a picture at the beach, sure enough the really pale girl looks the worst. I think having a tan really hides flaws like stretch marks or cellulite and us pale girls have to go ''flaws out'' all the time. This is awful and terrible of me, I know. But I''m always -that- girl. I don''t want to be really dark and would definitely never actually tan in the sun or in a bed (especially because I worked for a cancer center over the summer and saw first hand how bad of an idea that is), but I think I need some light sunless tanner or something so that I don''t look ghostly. Especially because my wedding will likely be in July or August.

I really feel more beautiful tan...(I know it''s crazy, but for some reason that healthy glow just makes you feel better about yourself)
Having said that, there are SAFE ways to tan. If you seriously tan for 2 months prior to your wedding.... start out at 1 minute..... then 2.... you can do it slowly AND safely. I have heard they have beds now that have lower of the dangerous rays.... (I''m a recovering tan-aholic! Haven''t used tan beds in 2 years but will before wedding in May)
You also might want to look into the "airbrush" spray tan. This is much more expensive than a spray tan booth (someone physically airbrushes your spray tan on. you can go nude or w/ bra and panties) I did this three times this year for the 3 times I was a bridesmaid (yep, 3! this year)
It was great. It DID "bleed" on the INSIDE of my bra.... however I wore a white hoodie and yoga pants and nothing came off on the outside of those. It washed right out of my bra.... but I do understand the apprehension of it "maybe" happening to your gown....hence why I''m tanning.
And honestly, I figure if I tan (let''s reiterate....healthy glow... not looking like I''ve been in Aruba laying out for 2 weeks!) for my wedding, as long as I do it carefully and don''t burn, it is not going to cause any harm. Good luck!

 

[Haven]

I am very, very pale so I''ll be getting one of those spray-on tans for my wedding. I always feel more beautiful when I''m tan, and I hate my pinkish yellowish blahish skintone!

There''s the mystic tan, and then there''s an airbrush tan. I''ve never done the airbrush tan, but the mystic tan works really well.

I don''t do any of the fake tanning that involves concentrating light bulbs burning my skin, that''s too much for me!

If you plan on trying one of them, I''d try both and see what works best for you.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 12/2/2007 6:45:18 PM
Author: Blenheim
It just wasn''t worth it to me, plus I wanted to look like myself (well, a prettier bridal version of myself

) and looking like myself means looking pale.


If you think that a tan might better hide flaws, you could also talk to your photographer and see if they''d be willing to photoshop whatever you''re sensitive about out of the images instead of risking damage to your skin. Of course, that would only change the pictures and not how you look to the people around you, but I''m sure that they''re used to you being pale.

Just to show that you can look pale without looking like a ghost, here''s a picture of me with my bridesmaids. The middle one was born with darker skin and lives on the beach in Southern CA, so she''s always going to look darker than me. I don''t think that the other two tanned before the wedding, but they both look fabulous to me.

You look beautiful pale! If my skin were that color, I wouldn''t be having any issues. Unfortunately, I have pale skin with reddish, yellowish undertones that keeps me from really being that pretty porcelain color.

 

[sandia_rose]

Blenheim, you have the same coloring that I do. In fact, we look like we could be sisters! And I agree - one can be pale and not look ghostly.

When I married my ex, I didn''t tan. I have had several severe sunburns as a child (thankfully on my back and not on my face) sun poisoning in my late teens from vacationing in Mexico and have skin damage on my chest as a result of that, so I was advised by the derm that saw me after sun poisoning that tanning for me is NOT an option. Not gradual natural exposure, bed tanning in minute increments, nothing. The derm said that no freckled redhead should even attempt to tan, because we are more susceptable to skin cancer from the get-go because of our coloring. "Dangerous" sun exposure for a redhead is considered normal outside exposure without sunscreen! The derm also showed me pictures of what skin cancer and the aftermath look like, and it scared me enough not to think about risking it anymore.

My wedding dress was ivory and all I did was brush a little light bronzing powder on my face and shoulders. I looked "sun-kissed," not ghostly. And I used so little of the powder that none of it rubbed off on my dress. It just added a light shimmer and a teeny bit of color. I''ll have to poke around my house when I get home to see if I still have any of my wedding pictures -- I''ve been divorced for a couple years now and don''t think I saved any. An ivory dress, by the way, is warm-toned and will give you a warmer look than a pure white one, so if you''re concerned about looking pale, choose ivory over white. And, as someone else posted, a good photographer can adjust the color on your wedding photos to remove any harsh lighting or ghostly looks. I was trained as a graphic artist and corporate photographer and have done this in portraits I''ve taken for others.

Since I''ve been in my early 20s, I''ve been fanatical about avoiding the sun (due to the derm scaring me). I wear sunscreen 365 days a year, all over my body. I have special sunscreen made for facial use only and I also have lip balm with sunscreen. I will do a self-tanner in the summer occasionally - my trick to keeping it natural looking and non-streaky is to use the formulas made for the face, only on the body. The facial formulas have less pigment and are thinner, so that seems to add just enough color to look tan-like without looking too fake. Even if I use self-tanner, I still use sunscreen.

I am almost 40 and don''t have any wrinkles, dryness, nasal folds or any other signs of aging. The Japanese esthetician that does my nails told me that the reason for this is because I avoid the sun. Age doesn''t age you - the sun and things like smoking and bad diet do. She said that Buddhist monks in Japan typically are sheltered in monastaries and temples from the time they are teenagers, and even when they are elderly, few show signs of aging. Many of them are in their 80s and beyond with the smooth skin of a baby. Ditto with traditionally-trained Geisha. It is taboo for them to be seen in public without their white make-up (which is zinc oxide and blocks the sun) and also taboo to get a tan, since their esthetic appeal is in their paleness. And remember, in this country, tanning wasn''t considered fashionable until the 1940s. Before that time, pale skin was the standard of beauty and the sign of wealth and privelege, since only those who worked outside (servants and farmers) had tans. Even women from modest backgrounds were encouraged to stay out of the sun, because to have even a little color suggested that you were lower class - a servant, farmerhand, etc.

I personally like my pale skin! It''s very striking with my red hair (or as someone else posted, very Nicole Kidman-like).

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[Fancy605]

Have you ever considered a spray tan? I love them. I have gotten sprayed for several occasions including my wedding. It looked nice and even, and, most importantly, real. I got it 2 days before the wedding so that it would look nice and subtle but still noticeable. Plus, with 2 days to wash off all the actual "toner" there was no worry of getting it on my dress.
My SIL liked it so well, that she got one for her wedding too.

I would get one every week if I could afford it (for me it was $30 the first time and $17 each week there after) and if I had time to go each week. The only setback is that you can''t bathe for 8 hours (that includes washing your hands) after the spray tan because the ingredient that makes your skin dark needs about that long to set in. You must also wear old clothes until you shower b/c the toner that the salon tanning artists use to mark where they have already sprayed the solution WILL rub off on your clothes until you get to wash it off (your skin stays brown of course even once the toner is gone though).