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todays question...if you catch your best friend cheating....
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Mara
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ame
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sjz
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Kaleigh
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thebanjodog
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cinnabar
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It might depend on how much respect I had for the best friend''s spouse. A work colleague of mine (not a best friend though) was cheating, but I knew that she was having a bad time at home and her husband was a louse who was always putting her down. If she was finding love elsewhere, but staying married for the sake of the kids, it wasn''t my place to intefere.
I wouldn''t collude with infidelity (eg by letting them use my house, or by covering with excuses for her). I''d let her know I didn''t approve, but I wouldn''t rat on her.
No one can ever know what is going on in someone else''s life, someone else''s marriage. They might have dark secrets or private agreements that make a difference to what we see as cut-and-dried cheating.
I wouldn''t collude with infidelity (eg by letting them use my house, or by covering with excuses for her). I''d let her know I didn''t approve, but I wouldn''t rat on her.
No one can ever know what is going on in someone else''s life, someone else''s marriage. They might have dark secrets or private agreements that make a difference to what we see as cut-and-dried cheating.
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There are so many possibilities with that question on why it was happening, under what conditions, etc, etc. My response would be totally situation dependent. I am not worried about my S.O having sex with someone else, the concern is the reason (and yes, in this convoluted world I can see possible reasons "why" that I would not consider unfaithfull to me).
Perry
Perry
strmrdr
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jaysonsmom
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I''d probably send the spouse an anonymous letter and leave them to work it out because I can''t tolerate infidelity, yet I don''t want to be personally involved in the he said she said details either. Depending on how the cheating friend dealt with the situation (end the adulterous relationship and repent; deny her infidelity and continue her torrid affair; or get a divorce to be with the 3rd party), would determine whether we could still be friends or not. Most likely she''d lose my respect, and we wouldn''t be friends anymore.
icekid
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how''s this for a mess- my little brother, whom I generally adore, went through a stage 1-2 years ago where he realized that he could get any girl he wanted. He''s a good-looking kid, smart, athletically gifted, etc.
So... he started cheating on his gf. And she knew, but he swore up and down he was sorry and it wouldn''t happen again
But of course it did, and at my parents'' house no less. Now here''s the big problem: I''ve known his gf since she was about 5 yrs old! We''re pretty good friends. She ASKED me if the other girl had spent the night, and I was absolutely not going to lie to her.
I lost SO much respect for my brother... it was a horrible time for me. My mother worships the ground little bro walks on, so my parents gave me so much crap for telling her the truth and saying that my brother was acting like an a-hole. My brother cheats on his gf, and somehow I''m the jerk! That''s the problem with getting involved in these situations.
Anyway, due to the fact that this is my brother we''re talking about, I didn''t disown him. But we were pretty distant for a year. Over the couse of a year, he became his old self again, is back with the gf for a year now, and everything is well
Being he was 18 at the time, I''ll chalk it up to a young cocky kid thing.
But anyway, if it was someone I was close with, I would have a REALLY hard time not telling. An acquantaince, I probably wouldn''t stick my nose in there.
So... he started cheating on his gf. And she knew, but he swore up and down he was sorry and it wouldn''t happen again
I lost SO much respect for my brother... it was a horrible time for me. My mother worships the ground little bro walks on, so my parents gave me so much crap for telling her the truth and saying that my brother was acting like an a-hole. My brother cheats on his gf, and somehow I''m the jerk! That''s the problem with getting involved in these situations.
Anyway, due to the fact that this is my brother we''re talking about, I didn''t disown him. But we were pretty distant for a year. Over the couse of a year, he became his old self again, is back with the gf for a year now, and everything is well
But anyway, if it was someone I was close with, I would have a REALLY hard time not telling. An acquantaince, I probably wouldn''t stick my nose in there.
movie zombie
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i''ve been in this situation three times:
1-cousin dating a girl that i really liked but his parents wanted him to break up with her and was encouraging him to date other young women which he was doing. she was a great girl but ''from the wrong part of town''. i told her he was seeing other women. the family was really pissed at me, she broke up with him, and she found herself another guy...a good one this time. my cousin stayed a loser the rest of his life.
2-girlfriend was dating a guy she really liked and wanted a future with. they were sort of off and on again. i ran into him when i was out one night and he hit on me...i mean he seriously and explicitly hit on me, not just a little flirty. when they were in one of their ''off'' times, i told her. of course, they made up and she never believed me....turned out he was dating about 6 women at the same time.
3-i was friends with two people separately and equally before they even knew each other. they met and married. she decided after some years to have an affair with one of his best friends. it was impossible for me not to know. she didn''t ask what i was going to do but i told her that i would not tell her husband but if he ever asked i wouldn''t lie to him. she was disturbed. i told her that i was friends with each of them, not just as a couple, and i would not lie to protect her. he found out, and the rest is history ending up in divorce court. he understood why i didn''t tell him and appreciated my honesty when i did.
personally, i think you''re damned if you do and damned if you don''t. ultimately, you have to live with yourself and if you''ll feel better telling, then go for it....but be prepared to take the fallout and/or not be believed.
i will never lie to cover someone''s affair but i don''t know that i would ever again tell someone without being asked.
peace, movie zombie
1-cousin dating a girl that i really liked but his parents wanted him to break up with her and was encouraging him to date other young women which he was doing. she was a great girl but ''from the wrong part of town''. i told her he was seeing other women. the family was really pissed at me, she broke up with him, and she found herself another guy...a good one this time. my cousin stayed a loser the rest of his life.
2-girlfriend was dating a guy she really liked and wanted a future with. they were sort of off and on again. i ran into him when i was out one night and he hit on me...i mean he seriously and explicitly hit on me, not just a little flirty. when they were in one of their ''off'' times, i told her. of course, they made up and she never believed me....turned out he was dating about 6 women at the same time.
3-i was friends with two people separately and equally before they even knew each other. they met and married. she decided after some years to have an affair with one of his best friends. it was impossible for me not to know. she didn''t ask what i was going to do but i told her that i would not tell her husband but if he ever asked i wouldn''t lie to him. she was disturbed. i told her that i was friends with each of them, not just as a couple, and i would not lie to protect her. he found out, and the rest is history ending up in divorce court. he understood why i didn''t tell him and appreciated my honesty when i did.
personally, i think you''re damned if you do and damned if you don''t. ultimately, you have to live with yourself and if you''ll feel better telling, then go for it....but be prepared to take the fallout and/or not be believed.
i will never lie to cover someone''s affair but i don''t know that i would ever again tell someone without being asked.
peace, movie zombie
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kaylagee
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I had a female friend(not close or best) who was cheating on her husband. At first she kept saying she was on the verge of divorcing her husband but finally she really seemed to want both worlds.
I grew tired and guilty of being used as a cover/alibi/accomplice too. It was extremely awkward for me knowing what was going on.
So, I just bailed on the rel''p period. If she''d do that to him, G-d knows what kind of ''friend'' she''d be to me. It was just creepy all-around!
I grew tired and guilty of being used as a cover/alibi/accomplice too. It was extremely awkward for me knowing what was going on.
So, I just bailed on the rel''p period. If she''d do that to him, G-d knows what kind of ''friend'' she''d be to me. It was just creepy all-around!
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Very difficult situation to call - everyone loses whether you tell or not. I hope I would never be burdened with that sort of information. If you tell you could be accused of making SERIOUS trouble, or if not saying anything get the "why didn''t you tell me!!"
I really couldn''t say what I would do and hope I would never have to decide
Jennifer5973
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