Too soon to be looking at venues?

[chizzy1982]

Hi everyone

I have been ring shopping with my Bf and have found the ONE and I know a proposal is coming in the next couple of months (has to save up a bit more money to get the ring and he has actually given me deadline by which he will have popped the question!) We have been looking at reception venues and appear to have found ourselves in the siutaion of actually booking to look round these places without actually being "offically" engaged. Has anybody else done this or am I jumping the gun a little bit? It feels a bit odd to looking round as an engaged couple when we not offically one.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Do you think I should wait until its offical?

 

[NickiDrea]

Well, we picked out and reserve our ceremony/reception site several months before we got engaged. We live in Philadelphia, and we''re getting married at one of the best venues in the city. It books quickly and we wanted to secure our wedding date before someone else did.

I also ordered my wedding dress before we got engaged- and I''m lucky that I did. The saleswoman told me that Demetrios was discontinuing the gown I''ve wanted for two years as of that month. I placed my order and now I will have the dress that I really want.

If you guys have agreed on a date, and both of you feel comfortable picking out a venue now, do so. It is YOUR engagement, you don''t have to follow "traditional" rules regarding this stuff if you don''t want to. You''ll be happy, and you''ll ensure that your venue is available for your desired date.

That''s JMO.

 

[anchor31]

We were already engaged when we started looking at venues, but we were lucky to have a longer engagement since we found out that in the area where we''re getting married, venues tend to book up 18 months in advance! We booked our reception venue in March 07 for our August 08 wedding... and our date was the only one left open.

So I don''t think there''sanything wrongwith looking early even if you''re not engaged... You know it''s coming, so why not?

 

[bee*]

We knew which venue we wanted to be married at but we decided to wait until we were engaged before booking it. That was what was right for us but I don''t see anything wrong with booking a venue before getting engaged so long as you''re both happy booking it.

 

[chizzy1982]

Hmmmmm there in lies my problem. We have no date yet, but would love a summer 09 wedding and the venues we are looking at are already booking up fast and I am worried I will miss out if I don''t get in there quickly.......... and the one venue we particularly like wants a hefty deposit on confirmation of the booking. I guess i feel like I don''t want to tempt fate so to speak but i also don''t want to miss out on my dream venue.

 

[bensbride]

Yeah, you''d have to set the date before you''re engaged. There''s really nothing wrong with that...friends of ours did that just this winter because they wanted a short engagement, under 6 months. Nobody thought that was inappropriate because everyone knew an engagement was coming, it was just a matter of time.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

No, I don''t think so. Some people might, but I don''t. It is kind of awkward sometimes with vendors, but once you explain the situation they usually think it''s cute. Haha. We''ve already met with a photographer and have a bunch of other meetings set up for the next two months and I may or may not have the ring before some of the meetings.

 

[LegacyGirl]

That is really cute. I''m not too worried about it because we''re going to have a pretty long engagment (about 2.5 years). I still have to take the bar in July and then we have to save for a wedding and a house. It''s going to be pretty expensive.

 

[eaglesgal]

I say go ahead...why not? Venues book so far in advance, you practically have to pick a place even before you find a groom!

I''m also expecting a ring in the next few months, and while we haven''t booked a venue, I have been doing some *secret* preliminary planning. I don''t want a long engagement, so I feel like if I start doing my homework now, I''ll be ready to hit the ground running right after the proposal.

 

[chizzy1982]

Thanks ladies - I''m really pleased I''m not the only one doing this!! - We are going to look at a place on saturday and we have decided that if we like it we will book it!!! Very excited

Can''t believe i''m doing things back to front, but hey, whatever works right?!!

 

[wandamas]

I am doing a lot of "preplanning" like Eaglesgal. Chizzy there is no right or wrong. If you think you are out of the norm take a look at my story. I bought my house a year and a half ago, the BF moved in in August and as I kept hinting at wanting to get married in Mexico or Dominican Republic he said ok. This was quite shocking as the usual response was you wish, or who is getting married? But in the last month he has been asking what kind of ring I want and has given me a budget to get my ring. I don''t want a long engagement so I have already in my head narrowed down venues, the dress, the honeymoon and all.

The wierd thing is that I don''t even know if I''m getting a proposal since I''m shopping for my own ring and having it custom made.

I over research everything in my life so I am always ready for what is to come

 

[robbie3982]

Chizzy, do your parents know that you''re planning on booking a location? Have you talked to them about which dates work for them and which ones don''t? One thing that I found when we were planning our wedding is that while we thought we had lots of dates to choose from, our choice of dates was seriously narrowed down after talking to both sets of parents. If I were you, I''d let them know you plan on booking your location and make sure that the dates your considering don''t conflict with anything (unless of course you''ve already done this). Unless you''re already talking wedding planning with them, they''re probably waiting until there''s an official engagement announcement made before bringing it up.

Beyond that possible complication, I don''t see anything wrong with booking things before officially being engaged.

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/12/2008 11:37:57 AM
Author: wandamas
I am doing a lot of ''preplanning'' like Eaglesgal. Chizzy there is no right or wrong. If you think you are out of the norm take a look at my story. I bought my house a year and a half ago, the BF moved in in August and as I kept hinting at wanting to get married in Mexico or Dominican Republic he said ok. This was quite shocking as the usual response was you wish, or who is getting married? But in the last month he has been asking what kind of ring I want and has given me a budget to get my ring. I don''t want a long engagement so I have already in my head narrowed down venues, the dress, the honeymoon and all.

The wierd thing is that I don''t even know if I''m getting a proposal since I''m shopping for my own ring and having it custom made.

I over research everything in my life so I am always ready for what is to come

Well I''m doing the same thing but I know I''m getting a proposal because I made it clear that as soon as the ring is done its going to him and he can choose to ask me when he''s ready (which then I made sure to clarify he has pleanty of time to plan whatever he wants to do now and if I''m waiting longer than a month someone will not be the happiest person in the world... now I keep getting little sly remarks thrown in like "oh 2010 sounds like a romantic year" or "expect something sparkley in 2010" to which I just respond by giving him the death look

). So yes my point is make sure he knows you want an official proposal (guys can''t read our minds no matter how well we can read theirs

).

 

[aliciagirl]

We looked at venues over the Christmas holiday and we probably won''t be engaged until this September! The main thing for us, though, was that we want to get married at home in WV... he lives in OH right now and I live in PA, so for us both to be home at the same time is a very rare occasion that we wanted to take advantage of. We didn''t go in asking questions about pricing, so no one really knew we were looking for a possible wedding. There are very few nice venues within driving distance for our families, so it is very important for us to book as soon as we''re engaged (even if the wedding is still two years from then!).

I say, do whatever works for you. If you''re comfortable looking or even booking, then go for it! Good luck!

 

[chizzy1982]

Robbie you bring up a very good point - neither sets of parents know we are looking at venues, and both are very traditional. Whilst they both know we are going to get engaged i think they would prefer if we did things the right way round so to speak. I was talking with BF about it and he made it clear we can''t tell our parents what we are up to. He wants to formally ask my dad and I think he is worried how it will come across if they found out before it being "offical". And another thing which has me all in a dither is that i was talking it through with my best friend and she thinks we should definatley wait until there is ring firmly planted on the old finger. She doesn''t want me wishing my life away and feels the whole experience will be far more exciting when we engaged which I think is a very valid point. Maybe I''m getting too hung up on the whole reception thing when really there is no need to be............... hmmmmmm its quite unusual for me to be obsessing this much, it must be something in the water!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Is there only one ''dream'' venue, or is it a type of venue that you''d be able to shop around for, to find something similar? I think that would probably help me make my decision...maybe.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/11/2008 10:34:34 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
No, I don''t think so. Some people might, but I don''t. It is kind of awkward sometimes with vendors, but once you explain the situation they usually think it''s cute. Haha. We''ve already met with a photographer and have a bunch of other meetings set up for the next two months and I may or may not have the ring before some of the meetings.

I didn''t wear my ring when we went to book vendors and nobody asked questions, so I don''t see why it would be a problem for anyone.