Two weeks to go and this is when it all starts to fall apart.

[merrymunky]

Ok I am feeling really rather miserable today so I apologise for my rant in advance.

Apart from a few minor issues along the way, things have gone to plan. Yet today I feel horribly depressed.

I went for my hair trial this morning and I was none too pleased with the whole event to be honest. The hairdresser played with my hair and came up woth a style. The basic style was fine and looked lovely from the back but I hated the front view. She is determined to give me a bouffant bump which I thought looked horrific on me. When I wear my hair up, I always wear it sleek with no bumps etc. I gt to painstaking lengths sometmes to make sure it is sleek. I am not a fan of big hair and I am not overly girly so princess bouffant hair is really NOT me. I wanted some sort of hair round my face as I have a fat face and do not want that emphasised. So she did a side fringe as requested, but to be honest I can do a better one myself, it was too thin! She suggests cutting a fringe into my hair which I am dead set against. I have spent over a year trying to grow my fringe out so there is NO way scissors are coming near my hair. She is convicned that I need the lift at the front so elongate my face, but when she flattened it a bit on top I felt MUCH better. It was backcombed which I really HATE. My hair is thick enough without raking a comb backwards through it. It felt messy.

It feels like she wants me to have what SHE wants, rather than what I feel confortable with. I will have her do it again for me before the wedding to improve it.

Sadly I have no photos to share as we took it down again after.

Additionally, one of the bridesmaids dresses seems to be ruined! It had a white netted skirt, but my dress is ivory so we had 3 layers of ivory netting added to the skirt and now it conrasts horribly with the white and looks cigarette smoke stained!

The person wo did it works in a bridal shop...surely they should have alerted us to this and not gone ahead??

I could scream.

It feels like everything is now going to go downhill and I am going to end up an absolute miserable wreck before the wedding arrives.

 

[FutureMrs.McKerrall]

Oh, I''m so sorry.

I was in a wedding about a month ago, and the bride went through the same thing. It took her hairdresser a few attempts before she understood what the bride was looking for. The day of the wedding, the bride''s hair turned out better than she could have hoped for. Did you show your hairdresser a pic of what you want or did you try explaining it to her?

As for the BM dress, is it possible to remove the white netting and keep the ivory?

Good luck and feel better! I''m sure everything will be perfect!

 

[ckrickett]

You need to let your hairdresser know YOU are paying her to do your hair the way you want.
You are asking her to play and come up with something but if you don''t like it she should say "ok lets try again and get this perfect" not try to sell you on a style you don''t like.

 

[DMBFiredancer]

Did you being her pictures of exactly what you wanted your hair to look like? I would do this and say "make it look EXACTLY like this"

you still have lots of time - dont stress!

 

[merrymunky]

No, I had no real ideas as my hair is awful at the moment. It is two different lengths and in terrible condition. She just said she would have a play and see what came out of it. It just seemed strange that there was only ONE possible style that would work. It was basically just twisted up and pinned at the back, with the rest pinned in place around it etc.

I hate to say it too, but it looked MESSY. I like sleek locks, not backcombed and loosely pinned pieces. I did explain that but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

 

[marlie]

aw, mm, i''m so sorry that you are stressed!!

i think, as others have mentioned, that you should find a pic of the hairstyle that you know will make you happy and tell her to do exactly that. i''d be honest with her and say that you weren''t really pleased and felt like you didn''t look like yourself. i think if you make the effort to call and discuss with her you guys can find a way to make your hair perfect. is it possible that she thought you were pleased so she didn''t try to change it? sometimes i find it difficult to let a hairdresser know when i don''t like something and then i leave the salon upset. i think you should just let her know that you didn''t like it. i''m sure she''ll figure something out that will be fantastic!

you still have a couple more weeks so don''t worry. i know it''ll all work out and you''ll look beautiful!!

as for the bm dress...can you talk to the dressmaker? is there a way to dye it all one color?

 

[SassyB]

I''m so sorry MM

My first hair trial was horrible too! The scary thing is that I won''t see her again until the wedding day!

Hopefully when you go back you can be very clear that you didn''t like what was done today. Be very clear and make her keep doing it until it''s right. These trials are expensive!

I''m sorry about the dress. Are you sure it''s ruined? Maybe you can remove the netting that looks bad? Maybe the BM can go buy something in a store close by? I know that is not ideal, but it may get you a dress you are happier with.

You are so close to your Big Day! Try to breathe. These things are small in comparison to being married to your honey soon!
It will be an amazing day - promise!

 

[FutureMrs.McKerrall]

Maybe try and find a picture of what you want. My mental picture of what you are looking for is probably way off because I have zero talent when it comes to hair, so maybe you should check out this link and see if there are any there that compare.

http://weddings.theknot.com/Real-Weddings/hair/results.aspx?type=3&wedding_details=hair

Also, have you ever thought of extensions so that you have more options? I think I have to do that because my hair refuses to grow! And I understand what you mean by the 2 layers...ARGH! I feel your pain.

 

[merrymunky]

marlie - She knew I wasn''t happy. I sat there for ages with my mum and her trying to explain which aspect I didn''t like. It felt like my argument was falling on deaf ears, even though she said it was entirely my choice, it still felt like she was tryng to force the other style on me. And I hated sitting there hearing that my current hair has no shape. I know this. I''ve spent the last year trying to grow it so I can at least have a sleek bobbed style cut in after the wedding. She thinks it will have to be much shorter than I want because of the damaged hair. I feel like crying, I have ALWAYS been particular about my har. I had beautiful long hair, then made a stupid decision to cut it 3 years ago and it never recovered. This is the ONE day I want it to look perfect and she pretty much made me feel crap because she can only see one way to do it.

Oh, and if my mother refers to me "fat face" once more she and I will be having words I love her more than anyone, but she keeps drawing attention to an aspect of my appearance that is already a very sensitive issue with me. I can see I have a fat face, but to go telling me in front of the hairdresser too? Sheesh.

Sassy - We are going to have the nivory net taken off it, so it will just have to clash against my ivory dress. It''s a flowergirl dressfor a young bridesmaid.

 

[marlie]

mm....it''s NOT okay for your mom to call you that. it''s just wrong. please do whatever you can to tune it out. you are going to be a beautiful bride!! keep reminding yourself that. let''s think about how to figure out this hair issue...i know it''s late in the game but is there another stylist you can call? any friends of yours in the area have recommendations? you might even want to contact your venue or some of your vendors for stylist recommendations. they are pretty in the know of all things bridal. if the current stylist knows you aren''t happy and isn''t trying to fix it, then she''s gotta go. i''d go for another trial with another stylist if possible.

 

[SassyB]

Date: 8/11/2009 2:58:27 PM
Author: marlie
mm....it''s NOT okay for your mom to call you that. it''s just wrong. please do whatever you can to tune it out. you are going to be a beautiful bride!! keep reminding yourself that. let''s think about how to figure out this hair issue...i know it''s late in the game but is there another stylist you can call? any friends of yours in the area have recommendations? you might even want to contact your venue or some of your vendors for stylist recommendations. they are pretty in the know of all things bridal. if the current stylist knows you aren''t happy and isn''t trying to fix it, then she''s gotta go. i''d go for another trial with another stylist if possible.

I agree - with all of the above! SO NO OKAY to say that to you. Wow, your mom said that? I''m so sorry. You are going to be beautiful. Your FI will think you are the most beautiful woman when he sees you in your dress and your AWESOME hair

I would def. think about another stylist!

 

[merrymunky]

I don''t understand why my mother isn''t very tactful with respect to this. She has been saying all along how beautiful I am going to look, so I have no idea why she made this comment at all.

GAH!

I know I shouldn''t let it get to me, but being a very plus sized girl, I want to get it right for ONE day of my life. I am already second guessing my dress as it is!

 

[ficklefaye]

oh no, merrymunky, i''m so sorry that you are going through this

can you go to a different hairdresser? this one seems to have no regard for your opinions, is it possible to find someone else and bring a photo of a hairstyle you would like?

have you gone back to the bridal shop to give them a piece of your mind? how could they have done such a poor job? i''m upset for you

i hope things get better

 

[Dannielle]

Merry, I don''t have anything to add other than I hope you are okay- I am sure you will look beautiful on your wedding day

I also have a ''fat face'', I get bloated easily and half the time look as though I don''t have a jaw.. and if anyone said anything about it I would be really hurt and embaressed.. I''d tell your mum she embaressed you at the hairdressers and a little tact wouldn''t kill her.

 

[Diva0413]

Date: 8/11/2009 4:08:52 PM
Author: merrymunky
I don''t understand why my mother isn''t very tactful with respect to this. She has been saying all along how beautiful I am going to look, so I have no idea why she made this comment at all.

GAH!

I know I shouldn''t let it get to me, but being a very plus sized girl, I want to get it right for ONE day of my life. I am already second guessing my dress as it is!

I wouldn''t worry about it. Sometimes family, especially Moms, have the foot in mouth syndrome. They start saying something and realize as it''s coming out that they really shouldn''t say something like that. I''m sure you''ll look absolutely beautiful and tell your hairdresser that what you want is what you want and that''s what you should have.

I hope you feel better soon too.

 

[merrymunky]

Date: 8/12/2009 8:21:00 AM
Author: Diva0413

Date: 8/11/2009 4:08:52 PM
Author: merrymunky
I don''t understand why my mother isn''t very tactful with respect to this. She has been saying all along how beautiful I am going to look, so I have no idea why she made this comment at all.

GAH!

I know I shouldn''t let it get to me, but being a very plus sized girl, I want to get it right for ONE day of my life. I am already second guessing my dress as it is!

I wouldn''t worry about it. Sometimes family, especially Moms, have the foot in mouth syndrome. They start saying something and realize as it''s coming out that they really shouldn''t say something like that. I''m sure you''ll look absolutely beautiful and tell your hairdresser that what you want is what you want and that''s what you should have.

I hope you feel better soon too.

She''s done it TWICE though. She said it the first time we went to visit the hairdresser just to introduce me and show her my hair.

It''s so upsetting.

I am just feeling rather down at the moment. I have SO enjoyed planning this wedding up to now but this week everything is starting to get on top of me and make me feel very sad. I just want the day to arrive. I have waited SO long for this (5.5 year engagement) and I am scared it is going to be overshadowed with my anxiety about how I look

 

[trinity911]

Oh Merrymunky, my heart goes out to you. It won''t be any consolation but my mother is pretty dreadful too. She didn''t comment at all on how I looked on my wedding day yet told all and sundry how lovely the bridesmaids and pageboy were..I know because my friends were shocked and told me.

Right. About the hair. My 1st trial 2 weeks before my wedding was disastrous too - think eletrocuted wild woman of borneo, if you can. I sent sooo many pics to my stylist and she pulled thro. However, yours sounds like she''s not a listener. That''s not good. Can you shop around? Even asking in local reputable salons might help. Please please let us know how it goes.

And please don''t let anxiety overshadow your day. Your radiant happiness with be written all over your face and that''s all that matters. Just focus on being married after waiting so long and let that carry you through

Hugs!

 

[FrekeChild]

Do you have any inspiration photos like what you wanted your hair to look like?

 

[cocolaw]

oh no i''m so sorry to hear that. can you go in for a hair style with a different stylist?? i would at least try to do one more in the next 2 weeks so that you dont worry about it on the day of your wedding.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 8/12/2009 8:35:45 AM
Author: merrymunky

Date: 8/12/2009 8:21:00 AM
Author: Diva0413

Date: 8/11/2009 4:08:52 PM
Author: merrymunky
I don''t understand why my mother isn''t very tactful with respect to this. She has been saying all along how beautiful I am going to look, so I have no idea why she made this comment at all.

GAH!

I know I shouldn''t let it get to me, but being a very plus sized girl, I want to get it right for ONE day of my life. I am already second guessing my dress as it is!

I wouldn''t worry about it. Sometimes family, especially Moms, have the foot in mouth syndrome. They start saying something and realize as it''s coming out that they really shouldn''t say something like that. I''m sure you''ll look absolutely beautiful and tell your hairdresser that what you want is what you want and that''s what you should have.

I hope you feel better soon too.

She''s done it TWICE though. She said it the first time we went to visit the hairdresser just to introduce me and show her my hair.

It''s so upsetting.

I am just feeling rather down at the moment. I have SO enjoyed planning this wedding up to now but this week everything is starting to get on top of me and make me feel very sad. I just want the day to arrive. I have waited SO long for this (5.5 year engagement) and I am scared it is going to be overshadowed with my anxiety about how I look

I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed lately! If it makes you feel any better, when it was a few weeks before my wedding, everything was getting on my nerves and I was looking forward to it all being over with... Many of my friends who have also gotten married recently have also felt the stress in the few weeks previous to their weddings. This is a VERY stressful time for you and it''s completely understandable you are feeling this way. Just try to remind youself this time will pass and your day will be amazing, and you will be married to the man of your dreams!

In terms of you hair - make sure your hairdresser knows exactly what you want. On the day of, don''t let her leave until you are absolultely happy with you doo. You may want to ask her to come extra early and go first, just in case. In worse case scenario, you can probably do something yourself like curl it with an iron and have her pin some pieces back (keep in minimal so it''s fool proof).

 

[merrymunky]

I have a make uo trial next Wednesday so I am going to do my hair in a simple bun with a side fringe and pearl bun ring, to see what it looks like with the makeup. It might look too everyday like, but we''ll see. If it doesn''t lok good we will try the hairdresser agin and I will take pictures this time of a clear style I like.

I spoke to my mother this morning and told her that her words upset me the other day. She was apologetic and didn''t realise it had affected me so much. Bless her. I know she would never intentionally set out to upset me as she knows how sensitive I am about my appearance. I just explained that there was perhaps a better way to say it!

 

[panda08]

You sound like you''re feeling better

Hope everything with the hair and make up works out. You still have time to find a hair dresser who listens to what you want, if you need to.

I''m glad you told your mum that you were hurt by her comments and that she apologized.