Undecided

[AmberWaves]

Okay guys, you all know my indecisiveness, and about how I go from Vegas, to wedding cruise, to backyard.. Well, here is this:

http://www.hartleybotanica.com/

It''s the hawaiian themed garden. It has so many things included, valet, catering, ceremony, reception, and 1200.dollars extra for a DJ/emcee and lights.. It''s 67.95 per person 75-100 people. Now, flowers aren''t included, neither is a photographer, but maybe I could find someone to take care of that.. A cake is 3.95 per person, if I want to get it there, and I could get the flowers from the flower mart or costco. What do you all think?

We were trying to keep the budget under 10k. Think it''s possible? Also, it''s an hour away, do you think that''s okay?

 

[nytemist]

It looks gorgeous. And all you would have to add are flowers and photographer? It sounds ideal, but it put you over a budget a little. How much wiggle room do you have?

 

[AmberWaves]

Yeah, we have a little wiggle room, I think I can maybe go a couple thousand over budget. Ugh, just saying that makes me sick..

It makes me nervous, because we''re paying for most of this ourselves. I think we could even go without a photographer, we have a lot of family and friends who are very good with the pictures. I think I might even get some disposable ones and hand them out, and have them either leave them, or send them to us later. I think candids would be great, and so much more like US, than posed pictures. I dunno. I hate money! Or rather, I hate not having it!

 

[anchor31]

Don''t worry about being indecisive... I think I changed my mind about five times in three months about the kind of engagement ring I want... And I''ve still got plenty of time to change my mind another five times!

I think that location is gorgeous!

I loved gardens, and I''d love to have a garden wedding! I don''t think any hour away is a big deal, when my future fiancé (hehe) and I will get married, one of us will most probably have to drive about an hour away, depending in which location we choose.

 

[AmberWaves]

I just keep thinking about money now! We have a lot of rich family (cousins, uncles, brothers) and I''d hate to ask for money from them, ya know? My mom said she''d chip in a couple of thousand, but after that? I dunno. I fiigure I can save about 500.00 a month, and that''s up until April, so that''s almost 6,000, and then my BF will save, too. So maybe that''d be about 9000.00, and maybe 2 from my mom... 11,000 or so.. Ugh. With a bonus I''m getting it will be like, 12,000... Ugh

 

[GGLW]

Hey Amber,
The link you sent looks like a beautiful location. The only thing I''d worry about a little is that the closest hotels they recommended seemed like a bit of a drive for your guests, and if anyone is drinking that might be an issue. Then again, maybe there are closer places to stay that just aren''t mentioned.
Sorry the financial part is so stressful. What happened to the good old days when the parents paid for everything? I think when it comes down to it my parents won''t be contributing much either, so I will be in the same boat as you.
In any case, it sounds like you have a good plan in terms of saving up until the big day between you, your BF and any other contributions you''ll be getting from parents and work.
Good luck with everything!

 

[E B]

It looks gorgeous (!), and a 1 hr drive isn't horrible. $67.95 per person isn't horrible either for Los Angeles. I say go for it!

Since you're budgeting, the first thing I'd cut is the DJ. Do you have an iPod? Does your boyfriend? I'd highly recommend asking how much it'd be to rent some speakers and then create a playlist. This is what Joey and I are doing. If you want someone to introduce certain songs (father daughter dance, etc.), have a friend do it. This'll save you two months worth of savings, I'm sure!

A "famous" budget-knottie used Vons for all of her flowers, and said that all the bouquets and boutenniers (sp?) were $150.00 total. Maybe $200.00 would be a safe amount to budget for. I'm using them for my centerpieces and bouquet since I'm not having bridesmaids...this will be another $ saver!

I think you could come in at budget easily if you cut what isn't needed and find bargains for everything else. Check craigslist for a photojournalist who's building his/her portfolio. $3.95 per person sounds about average for a wedding cake here, and it's nice that it won't have to be delivered.

How much are you budgeting for your dress?

 

[AmberWaves]

EBree, my dress! Ugh. Haven''t even thought of that! Well, I talked to my mom yesterday, and she said she may be able to give me 5000.00 which as we all know is a lot of money to put towards the wedding! I have an Ipod, so maybe we could use that, huh? Hm... I''m not feeling so good today, I got in a huge fight with Paul this morning about his birthday (he''s going to Vegas for a football clinic) because I think it totally sucks. And my leg hurts like hell And I''m being so overdramatic (bone cancer!), and I''m just stressed. At this point, I''m all for eloping... and the ring isn''t even on my finger yet! Jeez.

 

[E B]

I'm sorry you're not feeling well! I always assume the worst too, so I know how you're feeling. If you need help with wedding planning, OMG, you've got a great resource here! I'll help with anything! I'm feeling a bit antsy about planning my own, but have nothing to plan yet. We don't even have a date set! We will before this month is over, though.

If you don't hire a DJ, that'll free up some of the money for a dress. In my opinion, even though you wear the dress once, it's about 10,000x more important than some guy playing bad music. Would one of your boyfriend's friends play DJ? One of our close mutual friends is, and he's excited! A guy thing, I guess.

About the dress....check ebay! The designer of LaurenthePartier's dress has GORGEOUS gowns (like Lauren's) and often puts them on ebay to spread awareness of her online boutique. That might be worth checking out!

ETA: I found this on craigslist: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ats/127816243.html

 

[caligal]

Amber- Great place! Good price... my fav has it beat if you do an afternoon thing off season and booze/flowers/cake included! Here it is...www.tivoliterrace.com. Just a suggestion! I too would recommend the Ipod and saving the cash on flowers and dresses... do you know what type of dress you might like? Ebay all the way or Craigs List or buy when they are having their sales is my recommendation! If Mom is giving you 5K you are on your way! Can you keep the guest list at 75-85? That will save an enormous amount too (AKA maybe Cousin Mable from Arkansas can sit this one out!). I know I''ve always dreamed of having a huge wedding with everyone there, but that was when I didn''t know the cost or didn''t think I would be footing a good chunk of the bill. Have you checked www.herecomestheguide.com? It is awesome! Has all locations in SoCal with pricing! Another option to cut cost is to look for another place...maybe a local university? I can say from working at them, they have great pricing and most have wonderful catering!

 

[AmberWaves]

Emily, thank you so much for your help.. I just made a doctor''s appointment, and I''m freaked. I just hate doctors because in my lifetime I''ve had SO much wrong with me, there is nothing GOOD I associate with a doctor''s office, ya know? I made up with Paul, so that''s good. I just started off the day feeling crabby and in pain, and took it out on him. Maybe you''re right about the iPod, I would have his friend do it, or one of mine. Or my cousin- actually a friend of ours puts on all the beach volleyball things, and has a laptop full of songs that he knows how to play over speakers and stuff.. Hm. That''s a definite maybe.

 

[AmberWaves]

Tracy, thanks! Those ideas and links are going to be so useful. My mom and I actually got into a little "tiff" last night over who from her family we''re inviting- and she said, well, you have to invite your cousin Athena (which would mean her husband Mario, and their daughter Sara, and possible his stepson). And if we invite THEM, we have to invite Athena''s brother Raymond, his daughter Rachel, his (third) wife, and her two boys! That''s almost 10 people right there! And she''s like, well, you have to invite them! And I said, NO, I don''t! It''s driving me crazy. Now we''ve moved our date back a month, it''s looking more like April 29 2007. Is that off times? I really wanted to have the wedding at the Natural History Museum, but who knows now. I just love this location, though. I''ll take a look at here comes the guide, too.. See if I can find anything here.

 

[E B]

Amber,

Another great way to save $$ on a dress is to buy a bridesmaid dress, if you're wanting something simple and classic anyway. Vera Wang has gorgeous BM dresses for around $300-$400, as do Jim Hjelm and Watters for even less.

ETA...dresses! I'm pretty sure they all come in white/ivory.

http://www.jimhjelmoccasions.com/dress_db_occ/display_dress.php?imageno=5560&multimatch=x

http://www.jimhjelmoccasions.com/dress_db_occ/display_dress.php?imageno=1225&multimatch=x

http://www.watters.com/product.php?coll=watters&showid=389

http://www.watters.com/product.php?coll=watters&showid=388

 

[AmberWaves]

I really liked the Watters dresses, especially the one with the green ruffle another PSer got! Hey, Emily, did you check out the www.tivoligardens.com Caligal posted? It''s got what I want... cake, table flowers, ceremony place, settings, tables all that stuff, and it''s only 45 per person for a brunch on Sunday or Saturday (I think it might be 50 for Saturday), which is totally what we wanted! A brunch! And it has speakers there, and wow! I think I''m in love. I''d save 2300.00 on the food alone!! Also, they have a winter special, too. Wow!!

 

[E B]

Tivoli looks beautiful (all 3 places)! With the money you''d save, I think you''ve found a real contender! Which of the 3 do you prefer? To get the winter special, you''d have to move your wedding date to mid-March at the latest, but that gives you more than a year for planning which is absolutely do-able!

 

[AmberWaves]

I think I like regular Tivoli (1) and the Hacienda. We were thinking of doing it March 25th anyway, so now it''s a little sooner, a little sooner to be married! I''m so excited.. I think this is now the front runner, and it''s closer than the other place..

 

[snuga]

Amber,
Wow, you are really getting the ball rolling! I think that Tivoli looks like a great option!! I loved the link you originally posted, but like you said, it is more expensive and may not cater to all of your needs (speakers, location etc). I think it is a great choice. Let us know if you decide to go for it with them!

 

[AmberWaves]

Kalispera, I just talked to my BF about this place, and he seemed a little overwhelmed, and then I said, honey, it's a year away, that's not that long! I'm trying to find out how much we need to put away right now for later, and then there's all the planning, and blah blah blah... and he sensed that I'm crazed right now (I'm still thinking bone cancer, someone hit me) with the doctor's appointment, and engagement planning. Funny thing is, I'm planning the wedding, but stopped looking for my stone!!

I am SO not surprised that I have a headache. I need to destress.

I forgot to add, the BF said, (all calmly, too) "You're doing a great job, honey. We'll take a look at everything when I get home." So soothing. I'm still super nervous about the appointment tomorrow.

Everyone, I'll be fine, right?

 

[caligal]

Amber- You''ll be just fine- just get to the appointment so you can get it over and focus on the happy fun part- wedding! I''m sooo glad you like Tivoli as well- isn''t it gorgeous?? And you get champagne, beer, and wine free flowing for those prices... even more awesome when you consider most add another 10-15 a head when you add in a partially hosted bar. It is my fav so far (hey at least you have a setting.... I''ve looked at all these things when we are over 6 months from engagement!)- I''ve also started saving money since last spring and have a little over 2K saved so far! My folks have agreed to give me 3K, so I''m on my way!

Glad you two are talking tonight... good luck!

 

[snuga]

I''m sure you will be fine!

I really like the "Tivoli Too" and "The Hacienda". It''s a great location and I''m sure your boyfriend will love it too, at least he better!!

 

[anchor31]

You''ll be fine, dear. I''m sending good thoughts your way for good measure!

That location looks absolutely gorgeous too! I hope your SO likes it!

 

[AmberWaves]

You guys are so sweet! Anyway, update from the doctor''s, pain in my thigh is a sprain ( I blame my twisty dog and his long walks) and I''m supposed to stay off it. When I got there, I had to wait forever, and then my doctor complained because she had to open her own mail! What a brat! They also gave me a flu shot which hurts like the dickens. Also, I remembered when I got there that I totally forgot that a pained leg could be from a blood clot from the 6 years of birth control I''ve been on! My friend was on them for 2 months and got a blood clot, but anyways, I''m fine. Now, I think I want Tivoli, but we''re going to look around, and now I''m focusing on my STONE!!

 

[E B]

See? Everything was fine! I bet you''re excited about Tivoli. Are you leaning towards location one over the other?

 

[AmberWaves]

I''m totally leaning towards Tivoli now. It''s beautiful, so romantic, they have the Champagne brunch I was wanting, and it''s closer, and cheaper! I am so excited about it. In my Modern Brides or one of those magazines that I picked up last night said to check out at least 5 locations, and I think I can do that.

Paul might be a little griped at having to go so many places, but it''s our money, and I''m sure he wants to save it as much as I do. I saw these neat favors, and it was a taffy, wrapped in cellophane, and tied with a ribbon and printed with the names of the couple, it was like a dollar each. THEN I saw these small beeswax candles and they tied them with a box of personalized matches, and it was so cute. All in all, it was cheap (candles were one dollar each). I think you should get Modern Bride (crap! I can''t remember if that was the right one...) Anyway, it had great things, like receptions by the colors, and how different bakers would decorate a white cake...

 

[anchor31]

Well, everything turned out for the best, didn''t it? I''m glad.