Update (long)

[bobbin]

Hello...


I haven''t posted in a while, and a lot of you probably don''t even know who I am.

I haven''t posted in a while because I have been going through a really tough time with my SO and with other areas of my life.

We bought a house together at the end of June. Everything up until that point was fine.

However, that was also a week away from my end of semester exams (final year law). I got through my exam ok, but I was pretty stressed. Straight after that I worked full time for three weeks, had a conference and other things which basically gave me no time to wind down until it was time for semester 2.

This semester (2) is probably the hardest one I have had. I am running a mock civil trial in a group of two, where every other group has 3 or more members, and I have to do an examination/cross examination/legal issue application every second week. I am also doing corporate law, and participating in a moot (debating for law students) subject. I also work part-time, three days a week, and play sport.

The week that semester started, we moved house. For the second time this year.

So all of that summed up, I was stressed. And instead of us working together to overcome the stress, we drifted away and dealt with it seperately. I started to feel really unhappy in our relationship. I wasn''t sure whether it was the relationship itself that was wrong, or the other factors in my life affecting my relationship. That went on for about five weeks. We almost broke up.

But then about a week and a half ago, he made some comment to me, and I just turned to him and said ''can we stop being on other sides now? Can we go back to being on the same team and working together, instead of working against each other?'' After that we sat down and had a talk, finally acknowledging how bad things had gotten, and that we both really wanted to be together and work it out.

Then things changed. We have been supportive of each other etc again. I am no longer unhappy where I am. Every now and then we have a small relapse, but we are doing so much better.

I am not sure whether I should stay on the list or not, engagement is still definitely on the table, the timeline hasn''t changed (it was always a little while off, it is now between 6months-2 years away), but I feel like this site makes me focus a little too much on engagement sometimes, and when we are still recovering, I am not sure that is a good thing. However, on the other side, I love reading all the posts and I am much more mellow about engagement now.

Thanks for reading

 

[Dannielle]

I don''t really have any advice for you, but I just wanted to say that I hope everything works out for you.

I really think that you know you''ve got a good thing when you can get through the hard times and come out stronger, I wish you the best for the future

 

[kittybean]

Thanks for sharing, Bobbin. I had been wondering about you . I''m glad to hear that things are looking up in your relationship. I hope that things continue to go well for you and your SO.

I also sympathize with how rigorous your school schedule sounds--I just finished law school in May. I''m waiting on bar results now, which is so hard. Best of luck to you with this semester!

 

[Anna0499]

Thanks for sharing bobbin. I'm in law school right now and even though everyone said it would get easier after that first year things are worse than ever so I can definitely sympathize with your situation. It sounds like you and your SO had quite a turning point and decided to fight for your relationship. That's awesome!

 

[bobbin]

Thanks for your kind replies

Sometimes it is good to know there are others who understand.

 

[BlueSki231]

Good to see you both acknowledged the issue and are both making efforts to fix it!

It will only make you stronger as a couple... and better able to handle the ups and downs of marriage.

Best wishes to you!

 

[Lauren8211]

Sounds like things have really turned around for you guys. That is awesome. I''m glad things are working out!

I hope that you stay around PS, but if not, you BETTER pop back in with pics when it''s finally time for your engagement!

Good Luck!!

 

[Octavia]

Another law student here, and I can definitely sympathize. Like IndyGirl said, it just seems to keep getting worse. It's really hard to maintain a normal, functional relationship in law school, what with the crazy amount of work, being so absorbed into it that it's hard to talk about anything else, and the general malaise of being a law student surrounded by other miserable and stressed law students. It's a wonder anyone comes through it intact, especially when they have as much outside stuff on their plate as you do, bobbin. I had to make the decision that my relationship is more important to me than school is, and I have to work every day to make sure that it stays that way (and that I still do relatively well in my studies). But marriage is hard work too, so I'm hoping the work I'm putting into the relationship now -- and the work you're putting into yours -- will give us a head start on the future!

Take care, and be well.

 

[blondebunny]

Im glad things are getting better!! Sorry school is soo tough.. but I bet it will pay off in the end Stay on the list.. ya never know!! Hope things get easier!