Update

[hisdiamondgirl]

First off, I haven''t been able to check in here for a little while, or better yet, I''ve been trying to stay away to calm my LIW-itis , so I just want to send out a big congrats to everyone who has recently gotten engaged!

Well, I have a little update of my own, no, I haven''t gotten engaged, unfortunately, but I have a little bit of good news.
On Saturday, SO and I were hanging out with one of his cousins who recently got married and who now always asks when we are going to get married (

that''s what I feel like doing to her when she asks...lol...my answer usually is, "ask him" hehe) and of course that got me thinking!!! So, a little later the same day, I don''t remember how the conversation started, but I jokingly blurted out (I guess I proposed lol) "Let''s get married." We both had a good laugh over it, him saying, "not before 2020" lol but then we started talking about it a little more seriously and I proposed 2010, to which he replied that it was too soon, that we were already in 2008. I told him that it gave him about a year to propose, to which he replied that it wasn''t enough time, and that he does not want to get married before 2011. Now, I guess it''s a good thing that he actually does want to get married, and relatively soon I guess, but I''m a little disappointed because I had this timeline in my head that 2010 would be the year (that was my own timeline btw, nothing to do with him). He noted that in 2011, I will be 30 and he will be 35 and thought those were good ages to get married, and I guess I don''t disagree but I can''t help but feel a little disappointed.

Anyway, ladies, that''s my update! Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Oooops, I posted this in the wrong forum...Will try to get it moved now!

ETA: Had posted this in BWW--guess I'm getting a little ahead of myself! LOL!

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Wow...nobody cares!!!

 

[Sapphire_Cutie]

hisdiamondgirl: that is great news to hear about your update and getting to hear a timeline finally. 2011 isnt THAT long to wait...hang in there...hopefully it''ll go fast!

 

[austinite]

It''s totally understandable to be disappointed when your timeline doesn''t exactly match up with what he''s been thinking, but at least you know that he''s been giving it some REAL thought because he has his ideas about when an appropriate age would be for both of you. Plus, who''s to say that he won''t change his mind once he''s put even more thought into it

!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

our deadline is by dec. 20 2012 because "supposedly" the world is going to end on dec. 21 2012

anyways, i told SO that i would be really upset if i was still single on the day the world ended (according to the history channel..once again, the rolling eyes

) so he said he would propose by that day and if he doesn''t and the world comes to an end he probably won''t die by said asteroid if you catch my drift hahah
but anyways, looks like i''ll be sticking it out longer than you if it makes you feel any better!

 

[vslover]

I''m sorry you were disappointed. That does seem like a long time to wait...but maybe as the month pass he''ll feel more ready and it''ll happen earlier!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

It is frustrating when your timelines do not match up, but at least the ball is in your court. You can make the decision to wait for 2011 when he thinks he will be ready, or if that is too long for you to wait, you can make the decision not to. It''s tough--it''s a VERY long time to wait for a person who is ready now--the possibllity of becoming "overcooked" before 2011 is certainly there, so if you are committed to waiting that long I''d try to take the focus off of getting engaged as much as possible. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself, your job, your hobbies, etc.

 

[lliang_chi]

sorry you''re a little disappointed, but 2011 will be okay. And who knows, he might change his mind and want to get married sooner. At least you have an idea of what he''s thinking about.

 

[Just_Me]

Ugh, I feel for you. That would be really tough for me to swallow.
I was in a past relationship where he wasn''t looking to marriage for years and even though I wasn''t ready right then I knew that there is no way I would be happy waiting so long, so I ended the relationship. Now I''m not saying you should do that - only you know if you are comfortable waiting that long. It is so tough.
Good luck to you no matter what!

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Hi ladies,

Thanks for the replies. I have been away from PS for a little while because I''ve been extremely busy at work!
I''ve been thinking about it a lot, and I do think that 2011 will be OK. I had a fall/winter 2010 wedding in mind anyway, so maybe we can do Spring 2011, not even a year later!!!

While I wish the date was sooner, I have found myself very happy with it, especially since he has brought it up a few times since then. In fact, yesterday, I asked him to ask one of his friends about her diamond connection (Mother''s day gift for my mom) and I was joking that she was going to think that he was looking for a diamond for me, and he said "Nah, she already knows that we''re not getting married until 2011." Guess he''s serious about it and has even been talking about it with his friends!!

Anyway, I guess I''ll be on this list for a while, so I might as well enjoy the ride!

Thanks again ladies!

 

[kittybean]

Hmmm--2011 seems like a very long time to wait. My BF had his own timeline, but I told him several times that waiting as long as he wanted to was not what I wanted, and that, to quote When Harry Met Sally, I wanted "the rest of my life to start right now." We have compromised--although I have yet to receive the ring =(. In conclusion, I wouldn''t give up on getting married sooner. 2011 is negotiable.

 

[gwendolyn]

I think things sound good. It''s possible that, the more he talks about it, the less he''ll want to wait. And if that isn''t the case, then at least you''re both content with the timeframe and you know he isn''t getting cold feet if he''s talking about it of his own accord.

 

[Laila619]

That is an awfully long time to wait, especially if you want to have kids. Are you sure he is committed to marrying you and not just stalling for time? I''d hate for you to short change yourself. If you want to get married sooner, than you deserve a guy who can give that to you! It''s not like he''s in his 20s. 32 is plenty old enough.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Thanks for the replies ladies!

Sometimes 2011 seems like a long time, and sometimes not so much. I mean, I was thinking no sooner than 2010, so I guess our timelines weren''t really that far off from each other. And, like everyone has said, there''s always the possibility, to which I am open of course

, that the more he talks about it and the more time goes by, he''ll want to do it even sooner.

Laila -- I guess you can never really *know* what''s going on inside someone else''s mind, so yes, it''s possible that he is using 2011 as a stalling tactic, but at this point in our relationship, I truly trust that he is not and that he means it! Also, if he was stalling, I don''t think he would be talking about it with his friends.
As for short changing myself, I don''t think I am...if a wedding and some kids is what I wanted right now, I could leave him and go out and find somebody who would marry me tomorrow...but that is not what I am looking for. I want to be with THIS man for the rest of my life, and be married to HIM, and have HIS children at some point. Even if we got married tomorrow, I am not at all ready to have any children right now, so that is not a factor and I''m really counting on having some fertile eggs at least into my mid-thirties

Oh, and GWEN, looooove your new avatar...you''re so puuurdy!