Very important update!

[mrs jam]

Ladies, I have a dinner date on Thursday! The sad thing is, this is pretty big news for me! This is my first date after the end of a traumatic relationship, so just the thought of dipping my toes back in the dating pool is nerve-wracking to me. And it''s a BLIND DATE no less! The only reason why I''m willing to give it a try is because my sister-in-law has known him for a long time, and he has her stamp of approval. Plus, I am just ready to get the whole first date thing over with, anyway. I just don''t have a lot of confidence in myself right now, so I''m kind of worried I should not even be thinking about dating for a while. But on the other hand, I''m worried that I could develop some kind of social anxiety if I don''t force myself to get out and about, you know? At the very least, I''m having a good time planning my outfit and all that fun stuff.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 7/7/2008 12:58:13 PM

Author:mrs jam

Ladies, I have a dinner date on Thursday!

Good for you! Have fun!


Deb

 

[gwendolyn]

It''s just dinner. Try not to stress about any ''bigger meanings'' it may or may not mean to be ''dating'' again, and just enjoy a nice meal out while meeting someone new! Have fun!

 

[Linda W]

Ditto on what Gwendolyn said. Just look at it as a nice dinner date.


Linda

 

[decodelighted]

Sounds fun! But I would try to talk yourself down from the "importance" of it all. To manage your anxiety & your expectations. If you label a single evening as:

putting your toe back in the dating pool
&
a "blind date!"
&
with someone your sister has given a "stamp of approval"
&
you wonder if simply agreeing to go is entering the dating scene too early, before you are ready

WHOA WHOA WHOA -- TOO MUCH PRESSURE. If you label it as meeting someone new & having a nice dinner. VOILA! It''s a totally simple human thing to do with NO OTHER IMPLICATIONS & nothing monumental about it.

Rename it. Refocus. And enjoy! You''re used to high "drama". Will take some reframing, relabeling, rejiggering to bring everything back down to earth & see things for what they really are: routine. Nice, maybe. But regular.

 

[Kaleigh]

Just have fun! Don''t look at it as anything more. It''s dinner so enjoy.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Mrs Jam is HOT !!

 

[Skippy123]

Mrs. Jams wonderful news; go out and just have a good time!!! Keep us posted honey and ditto what Kaleigh and Deco say!!! ((hugs))

 

[jcrow]

thanks so much for the update! it''s wonderful news.

 

[RxTechRN2b]

This sounds like the best think for you! I understand your fears of developing some sort of "social anxiety" because I think I have it. Getting divorced after a 20 year marriage was traumatic, but that was two summers ago (actually we separated in june 2004 but didn''t divorce until 2 years later, so I''ve essentially been single 4 years now). At first I did date, but none of the guys were what I had in mind, and now I just don''t go out. Keep telling myself I will get a social life when I graduate nursing school next spring. So yeah, I think you should get back to dating. And have fun with it too!

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Enjoy yourself, don''t add any additional pressure to the dinner, and remember to breathe!

Hope you have fun!

 

[Fancy605]

Yay! A dinner date! I bet it will be fun! Wear something that makes you feel fabulous. It helps with the confidence bit.

 

[Miranda]

Have a great time Mrs. Jam. There''s no wrong time to make another friend! Try not to put so much pressure on yourself and just have fun!

 

[Rhea]

It''s tomorrow! Are you going any place good for dinner?

 

[D2B]

Good luck! Just go and have a good time, relax and enjoy the moment.

D2B

 

[HollyS]

mrs. jam: Relax. It''s just a date.

I hope you have a great time!

 

[Bia]

Think less about what it means and more about just getting out there and having a fun evening. Either way, YOU''RE BACK!

 

[Skippy123]

Hi Mrs. Jams, I hope you had a great time or at least it was fun to get out and just meet someone! How are you? Thinking about you here

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/11/2008 9:49:03 AM
Author: Skippy123
Hi Mrs. Jams, I hope you had a great time or at least it was fun to get out and just meet someone! How are you? Thinking about you here

Ditto!! Let us know how the night went!! Where did you have dinner?

 

[mrs jam]

Thanks, ladies, for all the advice and well wishes. I know it was a just a dinner, but it was kind of a big deal to me, confidence-wise, to even take that little baby step because I''ve felt pretty bad about myself since the break-up and all the crap that went down.

RxTech, I know exactly what you''re saying. You just have to do it when you''re ready, but sometimes, you have to force yourself whether you''re ready or not. I tend to get frozen in a rut, that''s why I was really excited/nervous about last night.

Ok, details: It was a wonderful night!! He was a perfect gentlemen, and the most interesting guy or person for that matter I have had a conversation with in quite some time. Due to his dad''s job in the oil industry, he grew up in Cairo, Singapore, and Indonesia, and is extremely well-traveled and full of stories; I loved hearing about all the different places and hearing his different take on things. I have to say, he is wayyyy more cultured than I am, but that was interesting, not intimidating. Ohh, and he speaks fluent French. I''ve never met anyone quite like him. He was very attentive to me and wanted to hear all about my family and how I like teaching. We are also both car nuts. He knew that I had just gotten new tires, and he had seen a John Stossel report on how some tire places were selling tires older than 6 years that were dried out and a road hazard. When he took me back home, he actually got out a flashlight and went to check the year on my tires to make sure they were ok. By the way, the year is in a series of numbers on the tire, close to the rim.

So, in a nutshell, fantastic night, and I''m so glad I worked up the courage to go! Baby step, I know, but big step for me.

 

[Skippy123]

Oh Mrs. Jam''s I am so glad you had a wonderful time!!!

Hugs and take care and keep us posted!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Mrs. Jam this is great news!!

Enjoy life, don''t hold yourself back. I think pushing yourself a bit in the right direction is the way to go! So glad to hear you are doing well.

You''ve won a huge victory that will make the rest of your life so much better, just keep going!

 

[bee*]

That''s brilliant news

Enjoy dating!

 

[Fancy605]

Hooray, Jam! It sounds like a fun evening!

 

[Anna0499]

Sounds like a sweetheart! Do let us know how the second date goes (assuming you want one)!

 

[Linda W]

Mrs. Jam, I am so happy to hear you had a wonderful first date. He seems like a wonderful man and you certainly deserve to meet one!!!!!!

Please, keep us updated, we care about you.


Linda

 

[Miranda]

Wonderful news!

I''m so happy for you!