Waiting, but not waiting...

[SML]

So, my boyfriend (fiance, whatever) have known for a while we are going to get married. There was never a formal proposal, but the talk about our future (many months ago) lead to us looking at diamonds and settings...then eventually purchasing a gorgeous diamond and then the perfect ring. It should be here within 2 weeks (yay). As much as I am excited to recieve the beautiful ring we created together, I am confused as to whether I should wear it yet. Although we both have known for so long this is it, I still have not gotten a proposal from him. We talk about it all the time. Being the sarcastic (and silly) guy he is...he asks all the time "babe, are we gonna get married?", "babe, are you excited?"...I''m sure you get the picture. I love him so much and can not wait to wear the ring and tell everyone, but I also think about the first question everyone asks..."How did he propose?" and don''t want to have to make something up.

I have hinted here and there that I would like an official proposal. But with him so busy with work and him so excited to have it on my hand 2 months ago...I don''t want to pressure him too much.

So, my question is...should I "hint" more to him what I want? Or just let it go and wear it when it gets here? And if I do not worry about it...what do I say when people ask??

Sorry to make it so long...

Thanks in advance...

 

[Lauren8211]

If a proposal is important to you, I think you should move beyond "hint" to straight up discussion.

A girl only gets married (hopefully) once. If you''d like an official proposal, then talk to him about it. I''m sure he''d understand, and want to do that if it''s really important to you.

I assume you don''t care how fancy it is. Just that it''s you two, and it''s him asking you to be his wife. That wouldn''t require much more than him just planning a date. I''m sure he can handle that.

Good Luck!

 

[jcarlylew]

next time he asks "baby are we going to get married" just say "only if you ask me!"


quite simple. tell him you want one.

 

[cbs102]

i would certainly say something that a proposal is important to you... it would make it seem more official... i don''t see anything wrong with saying so!

good luck and congratulations!

 

[SML]

Thanks ladies for your replies. I guess I just need to be more clear. See, I have done those things. I have said (when talking about it coming in the mail), "well, I don''t want to see it when it gets here...I just want you to hold on to it until you propose" and I have stressed that we have to have a story about how it happened. I just feel like the conversation dwindles after that (not really sure why).

Anyway, thanks again ladies. I guess I just need to have a dedicated conversation...

Will let you all know.

 

[Pandora II]

Don''t hint - just tell him.

Men aren''t generally good at hints!

 

[Patiently_Waiting]

Date: 9/10/2008 11:24:09 AM
Author: Pandora II
Don''t hint - just tell him.

Men aren''t generally good at hints!

I second this - men are not generally good at hints so if you want a proposal, tell him how important it is to you. Good luck!

 

[dreaming of the day]

Date: 9/10/2008 11:53:47 AM
Author: Patiently_Waiting

Date: 9/10/2008 11:24:09 AM
Author: Pandora II
Don''t hint - just tell him.

Men aren''t generally good at hints!

I second this - men are not generally good at hints so if you want a proposal, tell him how important it is to you. Good luck!

I third this

Men are complicated, so don''t make things complicated for them! I agree with the ladies that you should have a conversation with him. If he tells you to wear the ring when it comes just let him know it wouldn''t feel like and "engagement" ring if he didn''t ask you to marry him and put it on you himself (tell him that it would just feel more like an expensive present for being the fantastic person you are)

 

[LostSapphire]

My husband was the same way.

We bought the ring. He kind of handed it to me in the bag and said "there you go".

I (very politely and with a smile) handed it back to him and told him I''d wear it once he "asked me to marry him".

Didn''t take long after that...maybe, 10 seconds?

But you are right. I wanted to hear the words. He didn''t know that and needed to be ''told''.
LS

 

[trillionaire]

You don''t even have to make a big to-do. When it arrives, hand him the box with a big hug and excited smile, and say "the ball is in your court! I hope you aren''t going to make me wait too long!"

I think he will gt the point.

 

[vita*dolce]

hi, S! i was just curious, why do you think that he won''t propose after the ring comes? is it just because you helped pick the ring, or has he said or done something to make you think he isn''t going to propose?

 

[BlondySweetZ]

I was thinking the same thing vita, maybe he''s waiting for the ring before he proposes to make it "official".

 

[SML]

Well, I guess I am still wondering if he might. But I have been kind of the main contact with the jewelers. He will call and check up as well, it''s not that he isn''t interested. He actually is very much in a rush to have it on my hand. So that kind of makes me feel like what one of the ladies said...we will get it and he will be just as excited as me, but just kind of give it to me to wear. Soooo...long story made not-to-short...I think that they will contact me before him. But...he will be the one that will recieve it....I know that for a fact. haha, I was thinking of calling the jeweler and telling them not to contact me (only him) about it, that way I won''t know when it gets here.

You both might be very right, and he might propose once it gets here. But all of you have made me feel a lot better about having a conversation with him about it. And a lot of you are right, it doesn''t need to be spectacular...it''s more just the moment and hearing the words, because to be chosen by him, out of the whole world is a huge deal

Thanks all for the help!

 

[debzy103]

I think you''re worrying before you have a reason to worry. If you want a proposal, then make sure your bf is the one to pick the ring up from the jewelers. I''m sure he''s not just going to throw it at you. Men usually know that women want to be asked, in my opinion.