wasting time and seeking feedback

[swimmer]

Hello!
Wonderful ladies, I''ve read so many inspiring and funny wedding posts here, just wanted to jump in. I''m gradually pulling things together for an end of May garden ceremony at night and would love to hear feedback, suggestions, etc. I totally won''t be offended by anything, I don''t have friends who are into wedding stuff...and based on some of her recent ideas, I''m thinking that my mom is not perhaps the only person I should be planning with. FI is sweet and says "whatever makes you happy," so I have little structure here...

dress (originally I had a VW 2005, but a friend of a friend offered me 3xs what I paid for it, so now have a more "me" dress and cash for flowers.)

Wedding site

Now, this is making me nervous ever since the PS debate on buffet vs seated meal...but we are doing a heavy hours d''oeuvre thing...passed and buffet. Starting with three types of salad in funky bowls, with pink cocktails, and passed curried faves of ours, then lamb chops, roasted veggies, etc. NO ONE will go hungry, but we want to cultivate a moving around mingling vibe. Most everyone is traveling to be there, we hope to introduce and reunite many old friends.

invites


flowers will be blue and pink...hydrangea, peonies, anemonies, roses

band It was really important to us to have great music, dancing, and we love motown, classic stuff.

I am now working on out of towner''s hotel bags, for an itinerary of the available but optional dinner the night before on a riverboat, brunch morning of at my cousins'', the actual wedding at 6pm, and breakfast the next day at my parents''. How much to suggest for optional ideas, ways to kill time, etc? What goodies have you liked when you got care packages like this?



So, how to encourage mingling, especially when there are 5 layers of garden and not a ton of seats/tables (no assigned seats) but enough chairs for the 200+ anticipated guests... What to do for a photo-book-sign in thing? I have read several recent posts, TGal''s was the best

but I''m trying to keep things easy and yet am all about photo-albums so want to figure out how to capture moments without making it forced...

Have I asked enough questions? I would love to see other people''s ideas, I have learned so much from all your posts and have been guided very much by your posts. I get anxious when reading wedding magz that talk about themes and "tying it all together" because I feel that this is sort of all over the place and I would LOVE to work on the little details that makes things really "work." please lmk what you think, threadjack/share stories of your experiences all you like, thank you in advance

 

[Selkie]

Hey swimmer! You might want to check the link to your dress, 'cause right now it goes to an *interesting* story on reuters...

I wouldn't worry too much about the whole "tying it together" thing. It's a wedding, right? That's always seemed like enough of a theme to me. Oh, and I think your food selections sound fabulous!

 

[enbcfsobe]

based on the invites and the location, sounds like "garden wedding" is all the theme you need. I would look for a guestbook with something floral on it that has the same feel as your invites. One thing to think about wouldl be setting up the available seating in conversation groupings that are conducive to having people chat (even while sitting). looks like it will be lovely!

 

[Pandora II]

Only potential problem I can see is the tables issue.

I can never manage to hold a glass, food and eat. Plus my back doesn''t allow me to stand for more than about 10 minutes tops.
Have a look down your guest list and work out how many ''older'' people or people who may have problems standing there are and make sure you have enough tables available for all of them.

Otherwise everything looks great!

I''m having a buffet too btw.

 

[bee*]

Date: 1/17/2008 4:31:24 PM
Author: Selkie
Hey swimmer! You might want to check the link to your dress, ''cause right now it goes to an *interesting* story on reuters...

haha I just noticed that too!!!
I think that your garden wedding is a theme in itself. I agree with Pandora also in that if you can get a couple of tables just for when people are eating, if only small ones so that people can rest their drinks down near them.

 

[swimmer]

HA! Thank you!!!! That is what I get for multi-tasking! So now you know what my students in "Guns, Germs, and Steel" seminar are reading tonight. My dress is dress
that is too funny and I can''t get it to edit. OY!

Great point about the seating...there are benches and fountains for seating, but if it rains...we have an issue.

 

[gtn]

swimmer, everything looks like it is coming into place. Great job! I second Pandora's concerns about the seating. If you are fishing for photo-guest book ideas,

My cousin used a polaroid camera where guest could take a picture of themselves and write a note to him and his wife in a black book with a silver pen and tape the picture next to the note.

I like this idea, but I know that a lot of people did not "sign" the book so he didn't get everybody.

I think that works best with "younger" guests, but careful if you invite kids....

ETA: Gorgeous Dress

 

[Selkie]

Wow, that dress is perfect for a garden wedding!

I''ve been slogging through Guns, Germs and Steel for a while now. Articles like that are sure to make it a little more interesting to your students! Not that it''s NOT an interesting book, just dense.

 

[ringster]

your location is beautiful swimmer! and it looks like you are set with your invites and dress too. i really like the invite. i love live music too and am having a band so woo hoo for your band!

i agree with the other posters who are concerned about rain and not having seats for people to sit down at or put their things on.

are you going to use all five levels? i can see using one at each point of the event and then moving to the next one. for example, cocktail hour in front of the fountain, ceremony in the garden, reception dinner in the banquet room. but with too many areas for guests to roam i think the event can start feeling like a non-event and like no one came and plus you or others might have to run around gathering people up for pictures or the meal.

just a thought but looks like you got all of the major things under wraps!

 

[basil]

Hey swimmer! I''m struggling with the same sorts of issues myself, so I''m probably of no help, but I think everything sounds great!

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I liked GGS but as an anthropology student I know some of his arguments are flawed. (stops showing off)
I have heard two great suggestions for pictures but without assigned seats the first might be harder.
1. Put a cheap disposable camera on each table which collects more pictures and encourages the people at the table to mingle
2. Have a few of your guests who are good photographers bring their cameras to capture the best moments.
I am so jelous you want your guests to mingle. Our families and different sections of his family are not going to be friendly to say the least. Our goal is to prevent mingling at all costs.

 

[swimmer]

enbcfsobe, your kitty looks so much like my aunt''s. That is totally a great idea...i could get the ushers to move some chairs from the ceremony area to garden areas for "convo" areas after the reception.

Pandora, yup, you nailed it, that is a real issue. I think there will be exactly enough chairs...but you know how people leave that one seat between them? yeah. I suppose it will force mingling or folks will move chairs around like lunch in middle school.

Bee, thanks, i just looked at my info packet and apparently i can have tall tables for drinks near the dance floor. Hadn''t thought of that at all, but so very true.

gtn, good idea...ah kids, not even sure what to do with that. several are coming and one of those bridal mags said its polite to hire babysitters and a kids menu? My sister thinks that a camera would disappear. Shows what she thinks of my friends I suppose, but she is a New Yorker...I suppose there would be a good place for a camera and book somewhere!

Ringster, you have addressed my biggest fears. "Now we are going to cut the cake" and no one shows up to see. That might be good planning for the first dance though...swimmers and crew people should never dance in front of other humans, what we lack in rhythm we make up for in arm muscles. The rain...well, I just have to do some sort of sacrifice or something. Luckily we will do photos before the ceremony. I''m not a fan of receptions where the b and g are not around. (just a personal preference) and so we will do the formal ones before most of the guests arrive, that way the reception is just candids.

Basil, your site is fantastic! thanks for the positive vibes, right back at ya!

Hussy, so true! makes it interesting to pick apart. Some things drive me nuts about Diamond, but it is useful and gets students thinking about the larger picture of human development and environmental iniquities...so they can eventually develop the skills to tear it apart the way you can clever lady. Yeah, I''m wondering about using some digital cameras that can be "borrowed" from work for the long weekend...placing them around with big bows or something on them? You are so right about friends...is it tacky to make a group snapfish page or something like that? I really want to... So tricky about your family. I hope that people can be mature for your wedding. It seems these things bring out the best and worst in people. Good luck with that.

Mmmmm, what did we do without the internet?

Selkie, Thanks lady! If you find yourself with a spare 12 hours or so check out the dvd from PBS at your public library if you want to get it over with...I totally understand, the chapter on paper about did me in the first time through. Its just these darn magazines that people keep giving me with the articles about how complicated everything is supposed to be! They drag me down. Oh, and still too many ideas about the wedding band, thanks for all your guidance with that.

 

[blueyes157]

Haha the Columbus link gave me the giggles, hehehehe

Everything sounds just lovely! My concern is with many of the ladies, the seating. For elderly people, or all those high heeled ladies, its nice to take a load off, especially during eating. But I think the solution of moving ceremony chairs will easily solve this.

You seem right on track!

 

[zoebartlett]

I think everything looks great! Your dress is gorgeous! It''s so much nicer than the first link I went to.