Wayyy Off Topic - Egg Donation

[Lauren8211]

Have any you ladies ever donated an egg to a family who''d like to conceive a child, or know anyone who has?

If so, do you have any personal stories (good or bad) to share?

It''s hard to find accurate testimonials online, obviously donor centers aren''t going to post bad experiences, and sometimes "bad experiences" that are posted on the internet are exaggerated a lot.

Thanks!

 

[somethingshiny]

The closest I''ve breached this topic is with my best friend. I miscarried for several years for no apparent reason. My friend offered to donate an egg or surrogate a child for us. I ended up getting pregnant and carrying to term on my own, but her offer meant so much to us.

She did look into it quite a bit before offering. She said they advised not giving an egg unless you''ve had children yourself. Just in case in the future if the donor couldn''t carry a child so they didn''t regret or resent their decision for donating.

Since she and I are so close, we already decided that the child we call her "aunt" (which our son does now). She decided that she could donate an egg or carry a child but couldn''t NOT be in the picture somehow.

That''s all I have on this topic. Sorry I don''t have an actual story. Good luck!

 

[Shaninj4]

I have donated twice now.

It was altogether a good experience, but you do need to do your research in regards to the medications used and the possible complications. I felt comfortable enough for a couple who had failed 5 times before with previous donors to donate to them. But seeing as I am studying to be a Nurse Anesthetist I also felt secure in my research about these medications and possible side effects.

The only uncomfortable part was the bloating, I ended up donating 10 eggs altogether the first time and 11 the second time. After the retrieval there was some discomfort... but that was just also again due to the bloating. Some places require your S/O to give a sperm sample to test for bacteria levels and every place requires them to get STD tested along with you. The amount of time invested is actually quite a bit, there are many appointments often early in the morning and in the afternoon for ultrasounds to see how many follicles are developing. You do need to abstain from sex during this period because you can get pregnant even after the retrieval since not all the follicles can be retrieved.

Talk to your Doctor about this, they might be able to tell you more about how the medications may affect you.

 

[Bia]

A friend of mine worked for an IVF facility that worked hand-in-hand with an egg donation company. A few times I was asked to consider donating my eggs. The comany she worked for paid as much as $10-15k...in NY that is not uncommon. Of course, I could have used the money but I was uneasy about any physical problems that may have arisen down the line, so I decided against it. Since egg donation is relatively new (not more than 25 years or so) I felt uncomfortable not knowing what types of complications or side effects may occur...for instance, having trouble conceiving down the line.

However, I do think it is an amazing contribution, as so many couples try for years and years to conceive.

 

[Lauren8211]

Thanks for all of your replies ladies!

BF and I are considering doing this. He likes the $$ aspect, and of course I like it too, but I am a donator at heart. I give blood every 2 months, volunteer, donate money, etc, etc. So I love the idea of helping someone conceive.

Since I''m Jewish, I also found out my eggs are in particularly high demand for some odd reason,(probably even more so in NY!!) so I thought maybe it would be a good idea.

Just trying to get a good idea of potential risks and side effects before I make a decision.

I told BF about the possible STD test, and he''s nervous. lol. Funny how I can get pumped full of fertility drugs and get shots on a daily basis for 3 weeks, but he''s wigging about the STD test.

 

[Shaninj4]

Silly BF. My boyfriend was the same way. Wiggling on ONE blood draw, while I had at least 10 blood draws, injections, and tons of ultrasounds.

The injections are done initially in the subcutaneous tissue near your belly button, then they go into your upper right area of your butt (IM) those DO sting... but not as much as the HCG injection done 24 hrs prior to the retrieval.

Also, they require a family history and any hereditary diseases would need to be ruled out along with the common Cystic Fibrosis, Tassacs, Sickle cell... genetic disorders. It was odd since I am of Chinese descent they would even test me for sickle cell or Tassacs but I guess it''s standard procedure.

If they find that you aren''t producing enough follicles (around the 3rd week of injections) they will stop the egg donation cycle. I guess they need at least a certain amount because not all of them are retrieved or are able to be retrieved.

 

[Bia]

Elledizzy: I would definitely research as much as you can, there are a lot of pros and a lot of cons where donating eggs are concerned--money shouldn't be the deciding factor here (IMO). I was thinking much like you, about the money and about helping a couple who needed help, in the end I decided it wasn't worth the risk but that's not to say its not worth it. Just make sure you know all there is to know.

My BF was totally, completely, 100% AGAINST it, money or not...but he's a health nut, so there you go.

 

[galeteia]

I have often thought of donating my eggs as I''m planning on getting my tubes tied in the next 7 years. If I''m not going to use them, someone else might as well benefit from them.

Plus, I like the idea of my Mother''s genes being carried on somewhere.

 

[robbie3982]

I thought about it in college, but was scared away by the idea that it could complicate things when I want to conceive. I don''t think I''d be opposed to the idea after I''m done having chidren though.

 

[TheOptimist]

Sorry, I am late on this, just seeing it. When I looked into it, I found this donor blog, it definitely talks about all the ups and downs.

http://eggssunnysideup.blogspot.com/

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 7/8/2008 2:49:24 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Since she and I are so close, we already decided that the child we call her ''aunt'' (which our son does now). She decided that she could donate an egg or carry a child but couldn''t NOT be in the picture somehow.

I''m attracted to the idea of donating, because I find it terrible to think of women who are ''baby hungry'' going unanswered...

I am (was) also excited by the idea of my husband donating his sperm to infertile couples. This sperm donation was partly because I think my husband is a very ''good'' person, incredibly decent, even tempered and hard working, etc etc a genuinely great character and I kind of think that having more people like him in the world would be good for the world

seriously though

however, as I become more and more immersed in being a parent, new ethical questions occur to me, that hadn''t occurred to me before, in relation to egg/sperm donation
egg donation particularly, has become conflicted to me as eggs, unlike sperm, are not naturally occurring outside the parent''s body...

...should I (or my sperm donating husband) be registered somewhere as biological parents / donators of biological material, for that child''s own later health benefits and information? Genetic health therapy is going to become more and more important in future medical treatments - for biggies, like cancer, especially.

And if I *do* register somewhere, for the child to track me down later, would I want that? I think not. It''s not fair on my own children. But to with-hold that connection to a person craving social knowledge about their biological parents, can cause psychological damage to some people, it seems, looking at the whole adoption debate...

I am also concerned about my responsibilities as a parent. How would I feel if I later discovered that my children were being brought up in an unsavoury home environment, or had become homeless / drug addicts or needed assistance in some other way? Would I feel that I had abdicated my responsibilities as a parent?

Too hard basket for me, I''m afraid!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

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[Cookie_tyme]

I went through IVF twice, 2 mo apart so I had that lovely experience of perculating ovaries... Had 20 ripen one time and 21 the next. And I experienced hyper-stimulation after I conceived on the second attempt. This means my ovaries "weeped" a lot after egg retrieval, and that fluid pooled in my abdomen. I felt nauseous alot. It slowly went away by the 5th mo of pregnancy. I was warned about this before-hand.

I have to say, coaxing the ovaries to give up a bunch of eggs at once, was a job. Had to be monitered every day for like 10 days, blood drawn every morning, "cold pop" (vag ultrasound) after the blood draw. I would go only through that for a family or friend I knew, that had my same values, etc, because they will be raising my bio-child. Not because of the hassle, but because, even though I''m not raising the child, it is biologically mine. And in time, I think that would really get to me if I didn''t knew who was raising him/her.

Also, I have struggled with mood swings ever since I went through IVF at age 34. Prior to that, I never had mental issues. Now I''m on a mood stablizer, and my psychiatrist is not quite sure what is causing such mood swings. My diagnosis is "mood disorder not otherwise specified." I''ll always wonder about the hormones of IVF, because that was the point when my problems began...

Who knows what all this hormone manipulation can do to us? I do remember even having to sign a paper about the risk of ovarian cancer being slightly higher after IVF. That''s something to look into...

Do your research!

 

[Lauren8211]

Research, research, research!

I''ve been trying to do as much as possible, and it''s hard to find "real stories" which is why I came here to ask. I figured SOMEONE out there had been through this. They make it sound so painless and easy "just a few trips to the doctors"... but if it was just that easy, why would they pay so much for it to be done? I heard about the ovarian overstimulation, and that was a concern. They say it''s pretty uncommon, but I wonder how uncommon. BF and I are still unsure.

I am not so much worried about the part of having a biological child out there that isn''t mine. I suppose that is because my mom was adopted, and she always made it so clear that biology means nothing. It''s all about who raises you. I don''t have my own kids, so it''s hard for me to consider what they might think about it later, but I guess I should try and put myself in that position. I don''t think I''d personally care if my mother had to go through a medical procedure for the child of an egg she donated, but my feelings aren''t representative of everyone''s feelings, so it''s hard to say.

As far as something bad coming of my "egg"... well I don''t worry about that. I''m donating an egg, it''s not my child. Just my DNA. I don''t think I''d feel responsible. I think the egg places screen future parents pretty thoroughly, so as not to give your egg to an abusive family. Obviously you can''t avoid ALL problems, but I assume they do a good job. Besides, who would pay 25,000+ dollars to have a kid just to abuse it? Seems pretty messed up to me.

So much to consider... thanks for everyone''s input!