fieryred33143
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 18, 2008
- Messages
- 6,689
Thank you to those who responded to my post yesterday https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/did-you-ever-feel-like-just-giving-up.86724/
It turns out that we had a HUGE miscommunication and misunderstanding between us…not only about the engagement but about everything else. We own a home together and we had our accounts separate. It was getting too much of a hassle to exchange checks to pay for bills or splitting to where it makes sense so we combined our income. When I asked him about taking money out of his separate savings account (it was $150 in total that was withdrawn) he said that $90 was for my moving violation ticket that was his fault (he told me that I didn’t have a stop sign when I did) and he didn’t think it was fair for me to use our money to pay for it. The other $60 he took out for the barbecue because he knew we were on a budget and felt bad taking it out of our account. I had a long talk with him about how this is not my money, its our money and anything he needs he can take out of our account. I suggested maybe separating accounts but he feels that now that we talked about it, the confusion is gone.
I also talked to him about the whole engagement mess and it was another miscommunication. We had chosen a ring setting months ago and are researching for diamonds. I had told him when we first started talking about getting married that I did not want him to finance a ring. He has been helping me pay off credit cards and my car loan and he is going to need a new car soon. The last thing our household needs is a 22% jewelry credit card…and I would be too inclined to throw some of my earnings towards the credit card because I hate having debt. So he has been saving and is going to pay for the ring with cash. I told him it wasn’t the ring I was concerned about…it was the commitment.
So after a very long and emotional conversation, we decided to go to bed. In bed he said that he wants me to know how serious he is about the commitment and wants to set a date. We are going to dinner tonight to talk about the date. I still don’t consider myself engaged but it feels good knowing that we can now start planning a future.
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