Wedding Costs

[lovelylulu]

i''ve read a bunch of threads with some really helpful ways to cut corners and save some $$ on this wedding, but you ladies have to help me out -- i just want some opinions.

My father, who has been amazing my whole life, has offered to pay for basically our entire wedding. (my FMIL on the other hand didn''t want to go to a family engagement celebration dinner for fear she''d be stuck with the bill and she has much money -- but we won''t go into that now...) he said some truly kind things and generously offered to fund the reception. the only problem is that he hasn''t set any kind of budget. he just said go ahead and plan the wedding and even though he''s paying he''ll stay out of it. but this is leaving me in quite a predicement because i really don''t know my limits. ahhhhh. it also makes me feel so badly that he''s going to pay sooooooo much money!!

i just found a place that i''m absolutely in love with but it costs around $155/person and with 150 people that''s a little over $23k without cake, flowers, photographer, band and all the other things i''m leaving out

the good thing is that i know there are ways to cut other costs -- like i found a dress for a couple of hundred dollars. i''m thinking strawberries and whipped cream instead of a pricey cake. lots of candles and tulips/lilies (which i don''t think are that pricey) making things myself

but do you think that $155 is really pricey??? it''s in NYC?

also, i think that my fiancee and i are likely going to be able to throw in about $8k or so

and maybe FMIL will throw in for something like the band or photographer -- something anything.

i just never thought i''d be the person to blow so much $$$ on one day, but now that i''m living it it''s all changed

 

[icekid]

hmm, 155/ person is definitely pricey, but I am betting far from horrendous for NYC. It''s hard for me to say since I''m planning a wedding in Buffalo

That''s tough w/ your dad, though so sweet that he has offered! I would try asking him again what he would like to spend, as he may have no idea what wedding costs can be like.

 

[MelissaSue]

I really don''t know about NYC prices.. but $155 a person seems like a ton to me.. Its about 2 and half times my per person price and I have a pretty HIGH per person price for my area! (My weddings in Buffalo too..) I don''t know though.. if you really love it.. and all the parents are OK with it.. go for it..

 

[flutterby]

That is just under my price per person including open bar at the four seasons in vegas. So,yeah, its pricey. I''m only having 50-60 people though....

I would really sit down and talk to your dad. Let him know how much it means to you that he is offering and that you really need his help, but explain to him how pricey things are and let him know by no means are you trying to make this expensive and leave him with the bill!

i''m sure it is a beautiful space!

 

[pebbles]

$155/person is pricey but there are places in Chicago that high too. (I had mine in the suburbs and it saved a lot of $). Tulips, however ARE pricey no matter what time of year you get them. They are a little more reasonable in the spring (when they normally are in bloom) are one of the more expensive flowers. Lillies can be expensive too, especially if you get something like calla lillies. Stargazer lillies are a lot cheaper, but they have a very strong scent to them.

If you have your heart set on this reception venue, then there are definitely other ways to cut costs as you know. You just have to decide what you want more.

It''s great your dad is being so generous, but I would give him a fair warning of what the reception may cost.

He may have no idea what he has gotten himself into!

 

[Tybee]

I agree that talking to your dad about a budget will really help.
I was sort of in your position, and almost gave myself an ulcer wondering how much my
dad was willing to spend and not wanting to appear to greedy and break the bank or anything.
(We were originally going to try to pay for ourselvses and try to keep it under 7,000! hard to do, I must admit.)

When I finally got the guts up to ask him (why is asking about money so hard?) He actually
told me that he had set aside some bonds just for my wedding (sweet dad!) Knowing the amount that he was planning
to spend really opened up our options and allowed us to think realistically. For us that was a good thing.

I''m not sure about costs in NYC, but I''d shop around.

Good Luck!

 

[selflove]

Lulu--I agree with Pebbles, you gotta give your dad warning. He may have no clue how much a wedding reception costs. I would preface it by explaining how much you like the place, show him some pictures or take him to the site, and get him to envision how wonderful it''s going to be. Then spring the $23K on him and see how he reacts. I''m assuming at that cost it includes a bit of alcohol, if not an open bar? I really don''t know about NYC prices either but it''s definitely not a "budget" wedding at $155pp by most standards. But maybe that''s just the norm in NYC? Have you looked at lots of places in NYC to compare?

 

[curlygirl]

Hey ladies, lulu and I discussed this on PM but I gotta let you know that $155/person is actually not bad in NYC! I know most of you are probably shocked but that''s the average here with many places being higher and only a few being less than that. I guess that''s the price you pay if you are in a big city where everything is way too expensive!

 

[icekid]

Date: 12/2/2005 7:26:37 PM
Author: curlygirl
Hey ladies, lulu and I discussed this on PM but I gotta let you know that $155/person is actually not bad in NYC! I know most of you are probably shocked but that''s the average here with many places being higher and only a few being less than that. I guess that''s the price you pay if you are in a big city where everything is way too expensive!

I didn''t think 155/person was bad for NYC! Remind me not to move there

 

[flopkins]

Hm, well compared to SF prices that''s about right for a mid to higher end catering, esp if it includes the rental space, tables, chairs, linens, the whole bit.... unfortunately I''m coming out at about half that for just food and rentals, not including the rental of the venue... and I''d say that''s average around here... so I''d say you''re doing okay if your dad is willing to pay! Why don''t you talk to him and say, hey, this is what I''m looking at, this is approx how much it will cost, how is that sounding?! and see what he says.

Good luck and keep us updated - and if you do book, share pics!

 

[AndyRosse]

$155 is pricey, but definitely not for NYC. I''m getting married in CT, and with tip, it is costing us about $120 a person. Hence, we are only inviting around 100 people

(hopefully!).

And that was a very generous offer by your father! One of the first things my mother said to me after I got engaged was "well you know I''m not paying for the wedding."

Yup, seriously.

 

[JessesGrl]

That is not high for NYC AT ALL....I got married in the Hudson Valley and paid 116 per person

 

[Munchkin]

Sadly, that''s pretty reasonable for most places in NYC. I am assuming that that cost includes alcohol? In Boston, we were quoted between $150 and $250 per person with alcohol and taxes included. Again, that covered reception venue, food, tables, etc. Upgraded chairs and linens and valet are additional. The $150s were all for chicken, the higher costs are for a "duet" plate of filet and seafood.

Isn''t it insane how quickly it adds up!?

One place we looked at in Newport would have cost us $19k just to rent the venue and have staff, tables and chairs. That was before a morsel of food.

Munchkin