Wedding Planning around FI''s medical school schedule

[little miss sunshine]

Hi all -

It''s been 3 months since I got engaged, and now that I am on summer vacation (I am a teacher) I can finally take some time to start wedding planning. My fiance is starting med school in August and this makes setting a date a little tricky. Probably next summer (after his 1st year) is the best time for HIM, but it''s not enough time for me and we also will be moving next summer into our first place - we are doing this before getting married, some might object but our parents are totally fine with it. So - any medical students or wives/fiance''s of medical students - when is the best time to get married ? I mean this mostly in terms of stress/exams/etc.

I have been THINKING that right after his second year- his school gives 2 months off (april and may 2009) would be okay. However, he will have to take Step I during this time as well. He is going to ask around and find out from students, but I thought it wouldn''t hurt to get some advice from some PS''ers!

Thanks!!

 

[rainbowtrout]

Summer after 1st year. Unless you want him insane....

 

[lover in athens]

i''m about to start my 4th year of residency, but i STILL remember the stress of Step I all too well. DEFINITELY the best time for him would be summer after 1st year. I travelled that summer, and it was definitely the most relaxed I can remember being in med school. It''s great that he will have those 2 months off at the end of 1st year... can he take step I a couple weeks earlier and then do the wedding/honeymoon afterwards? He would definitely be stressed leading up to it, but would DEFINITELY be ready to celebrate at the wedding if the test was over! If you go that route, just know that he won''t be too much help in the last few weeks leading up to wedding!

good luck!

 

[San Diego Bride]

definitely the summer after 1st year. this is the only time to really relax until the end of 4th year. step 1 is a nightmare and makes the summer between 1st and 2nd year anything but restful. most people spend time more studying for step 1 then they would if classes were actually in session.

you can plan an amazing wedding in the year you have until next summer. moving into a new place does not even begin to hold a candle to the stress of studying for step 1!

 

[cara]

This is from an S.O. of a medicine person:

I would go for the summer between first and second year unless you really want a long engagement. Then, the next best time before 4th year is just AFTER step 1. And be prepared to have a useless lump of a man in the few months leading up to the test. A wedding in the April or May of second year would be a disaster as he would be supposed to be studying for the last really important academic test that can affect his career. If he wants to do one of the harder (to-get-into) specialties, or get into better residency programs, he needs a good score on this mindnumbingly memorization-intensive test.

And this is from someone 2 months away from her wedding, who will have a 15 month engagement total:

You have plenty of time to get a wedding planned for next summer. Since you are a teacher, I would just put it towards the end of the summer so you have free time to do the crunch of the last two months. Wedding planning can expand to fill tons of time, but you will get the hang of it and can choose to spend less time on certain things and par down the decision making process. My FI and I did an exhastive search of venues, online, looking at places, making spreadsheets etc. It took all our free time for over a month! But then we looked at fewer caterers, and fewer photographers than caterers, and only two florists, etc. So just get the outlines planned this summer, especially the big vendors, and if you make steady progress over the year on the smaller stuff and checkoff list, you'll be fine.

Last, I thought I wanted a leisurely long engagement to get the planning all right, but I am ready to be done now! And we have two more months. So I cannot imagine actively planning for a wedding two years out. It would just take so long! Just have a wedding planning summer of fun this year, and getting married next summer will be fabulous.

 

[little miss sunshine]

Thanks all for the advice!

Yes, summer of 2009 is definitely out. . . Sure he COULD take the step 1 early, but from what we have both heard, it''s too important of an exam to schedule a wedding so close to... Although summer after 1st year seems overwhelmingly popula, besides for just the moving, I don''t think financially I will have my act together by next summer, we are both young and still in school. The more I looked at our schedules, my next thought is December 2008. We both will have 10 days or so off from school/work. Next step... picking the location...

Thanks again

 

[litebrite]

My guy''s starting his fourth year, and we''re doing it in the month in between his graduation and moving to a new city for residency next summer. (In that same month, we are going to have a reception in my hometown and our college reunion.) I would overwhelming recommend AGAINST having the wedding during boards studying time because it is crazy stressful for any med student. Basically, this is the exam that determines what kind of program he gets into, and where you go for the next 3-7 years.

THe crazy thing about med school is that basically, every year feels like its harder and more time consuming than the year before, except for the second half of 4th year. Dec 08 is a good time, depending on how involved you and he want him to be. Some might say 10 days is not enough time, but if you have a good wedding coordinator or if you have lots of spare time, then I''d say go for it. Plus you might get better rates on vendors then. Summer prices are insane!

 

[RLG]

I''m studying for step 1 right now and it is horrible. Having said that most of the people in my class that have gotten married have done it between 1st and 2nd year. One guy got married a random weekend in the fall of second year and several during christmas break of second year. One guy just got married after taking boards, so I you should go with what works best for you. The only bad thing about getting married over christmas is that a lot of people may be out of town to be with family. I didnt go to one of my classmates weddings because it was too close to christmas and going home, which is out of state, was more important. Anyways congratulations on your engagement and to your future husband on getting in.

 

[basil]

Yeah, we didn''t have a lot of married people in our class, but I think most either got married between 1st and 2nd year, or after/at the end of 4th year. I think at the end of 4th year is ideal, cause then you start your residency with the support of your partner. If I had met my fiance earlier, this is when we would have gotten married. Though it may be less ideal for non-medical spouses, since the resident won''t be around much in the first few years.

I think the summer between 3rd and 4th year would also be a possibility. Depending on your specialty, though. Applications for regular match don''t really even start til September. At least at my school, we had a fair amount of control over our schedules at that point, so I ended up taking 3 weeks off that August. Dunno if you want to wait that long, though.

Another option I thought of is that my school allowed people to take extra time off at the beginning of third year. We only had 1 month to study for step I, so people took extra time if they thought they needed it. On the other hand, re-reading your post, his school gives 2 months for studying for step 1?!! That''s way too long. 3 weeks max, maybe 4 if you take weekends free from studying. I studied 10 hour days for 3 weeks and did well. 2 months is way long. I''m sure you could schedule it at the end of June of 2nd year and be fine if he plans to take the test in May. But you do have to be aware that there won''t be any "please take an hour and go get fitted for a tux" or other errands during the weeks that he''s studying.

 

[little miss sunshine]

Yay - thanks for the insight! Well, I think it is now going to be next summer - ahh! We will both have the whole summer off and he will be the least stressed out... I orignially thought that it was too soon to do it next summer, but everywhere I have been (church, a few reception places) are completely open still! Woo hoo!!