Wedding ring: what would you do?

[basil]

So here''s my dilemma:

I have the ritani endless love no halo for my engagement ring. I always thought that I''d get the matching wedding ring. But one day when I was bored and wanted to see what it would look like with another ring, I tried it on with my great-aunt''s wedding ring. It''s also platinum with pave diamonds, half eternity. The diamonds are larger than the ritani and they look different - they have a different sort of cut, I''m pretty sure, but I''m not expert enough to recognize the difference. I think it''s from the about 1940? But they look surprisingly good together. I don''t have pics cause I''m at work.

Now, if everything in life were free, I''d probably choose the Ritani band. But it costs ~$2000 - money that we have, but we could spend it on the wedding, or the honeymoon, or the new car my fiance has to buy, or save it for retirement. And we could always buy the Ritani band later.

Fiance says he wants me to get the band that I want - it''s my wedding ring after all. My mom says that if I don''t buy it now, I''ll never buy it. And holds up her 35 year old plain gold band without an engagement ring next to it as proof

What would you do?

 

[Rhea]

If you don''t buy it now you never will. Especially if your DH or yourself are even slightly sentimental.

 

[E B]

To me, it sounds like you aren't even sure you want the band that much. Am I reading that correctly?

I say that because you mention other things you could do with the money, and that your aunt's non-matching band looked surprisingly good with your e-ring.

I'd look around and try a bunch of other bands on, in all styles that appeal to you. Go to antique stores, maul stores, whatever. You might find something non-matching that just goes better.

If none of them speak to you like the Ritani does, however, I'd go for it. A wedding is one day, your wedding band is for life (or a long time, anyway!).

ETA: Duh, I totally missed where you said you'd probably choose the Ritani band if it was free. But I'd still try on other bands in different price ranges, just to be sure.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

Just get the Ritani if that is what you want. The $2000 will be amortized over many years. Don''t worry about it.

 

[Independent Gal]

I''m not big on matchy-matchy. I am big on sentimental objects. So if it were me, and the family ring looked good with my e-ring, I''d totally go with that.

That said, you need to decide what will make YOU happier when you look down at your hand.

 

[basil]

I''m not big on matchy matchy either, but I like the way the Ritani band looks because they are both so thin, it almost looks like one ring with 2 rows of diamonds. I don''t think there is too much else out there that would match it.

If the ring had a lot of sentimental value to me, then it would be a no-brainer...but to be quite honest, my great-aunt passed away when I was pretty young, so I was never particularly close to her. And I don''t have any memory of her wearing it.

I''m just feeling sort of guilty about the escalating costs of the wedding...Fiance has needed a new car for the past 2 years and keeps holding off on buying it until he has the cash. I would really hate to have him put it off even longer to buy me this ring.

I keep going back and forth...

 

[Fancy605]

Date: 12/2/2007 2:55:52 PM
Author: basil
I''m not big on matchy matchy either, but I like the way the Ritani band looks because they are both so thin, it almost looks like one ring with 2 rows of diamonds. I don''t think there is too much else out there that would match it.

My ring is VERY similar to your Ritiani, and I have a band that matches it exactly. I too love love love the thin band look, and the matching ring appealed to me for the same reason it appeals to you. I am biased of course, but I don''t think it would look too matchy matchy at all. It just looks pretty.

 

[BigDiamonds]

If it were me, I would buy the Ritani. They just look so good together.

Have you considered stacking all three? You could wear the bigger heirloom piece on the bottom, then your e-ring, then the Ritani band.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 12/2/2007 1:47:55 PM
Author:basil
So here's my dilemma:

I have the ritani endless love no halo for my engagement ring. I always thought that I'd get the matching wedding ring. But one day when I was bored and wanted to see what it would look like with another ring, I tried it on with my great-aunt's wedding ring. It's also platinum with pave diamonds, half eternity. The diamonds are larger than the ritani and they look different - they have a different sort of cut, I'm pretty sure, but I'm not expert enough to recognize the difference. I think it's from the about 1940? But they look surprisingly good together. I don't have pics cause I'm at work.

Now, if everything in life were free, I'd probably choose the Ritani band. But it costs ~$2000 - money that we have, but we could spend it on the wedding, or the honeymoon, or the new car my fiance has to buy, or save it for retirement. And we could always buy the Ritani band later.

Fiance says he wants me to get the band that I want - it's my wedding ring after all. My mom says that if I don't buy it now, I'll never buy it. And holds up her 35 year old plain gold band without an engagement ring next to it as proof

What would you do?

Buy the Ritani band now.

It seems to me that you DO want the Ritani band (you'd choose it if money weren't an issue, and if you don't choose it now you'd have plans to get it later).

There will always been a 'more prudent' choice, but life isn't about being prudent all the time. This isn't any old piece of jewelry; it's your wedding band....something that you'll hopefully wear for decades. Get the one you want; don't have regrets.

FI has told you to get what you'd really want, and I'd put a lot of stock in that. I'm sure he doesn't want to have regrets later either (we didn't buy the w/band she really wanted because I needed a car). I wouldn't want to be in that position, and I'm sure he doesn't either.

Sure, it's a lot of money. It's also a significant piece of jewelry. I'd want to look at the ring on my finger 30+ years from now and smile remembering my husband putting it on my finger all those years ago.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/2/2007 5:39:48 PM
Author: aljdewey

Buy the Ritani band now.

It seems to me that you DO want the Ritani band (you''d choose it if money weren''t an issue, and if you don''t choose it now you''d have plans to get it later).

There will always been a ''more prudent'' choice, but life isn''t about being prudent all the time. This isn''t any old piece of jewelry; it''s your wedding band....something that you''ll hopefully wear for decades. Get the one you want; don''t have regrets.

FI has told you to get what you''d really want, and I''d put a lot of stock in that. I''m sure he doesn''t want to have regrets later either (we didn''t buy the w/band she really wanted because I needed a car). I wouldn''t want to be in that position, and I''m sure he doesn''t either.

Sure, it''s a lot of money. It''s also a significant piece of jewelry. I''d want to look at the ring on my finger 30+ years from now and smile remembering my husband putting it on my finger all those years ago.

I totally agree.

I know the majority of the talk is about the ering around here, but personally I think the wedding ring carries more pomp, circumstance, and significance. All the nuttiness about "WHEN is he going to ask?" "Did he get a good deal?" "I want him to choose something I''d wear" is over. Normally both folks pick the ring and I think there is so much more of a serenity around the ring. THIS is the ring you make your vows and intertwine your life with...it is with THIS ring, I THEE WED.

I would certainly be bummed if I lost my e-ring...I love it. But my wedding ring is the one that is engraved with the date that I became his wife and I would be devastated if I lost it. Normally I am a very practical girl, but in your case, buy the ritani...if you don''t, you''ll lose all around...either you always wish for the ring you wanted, or you DO buy the ritani down the line and end up spending more anyway.

 

[basil]

Date: 12/2/2007 4:15:09 PM
Author: BigDiamonds
If it were me, I would buy the Ritani. They just look so good together.

Have you considered stacking all three? You could wear the bigger heirloom piece on the bottom, then your e-ring, then the Ritani band.

Hehe, I like the stacking idea! I''ll have to try it out to see what that looks like!

 

[Haven]

I''m in the minority here, but if your FI really needs a new car there is no way I could suggest buying the Ritani ring over the new car. Does he need the new car to get to work and be safe on the road? If so, I have to say put the money in the car. (I''m also of the camp that thinks it''s crazy to spend money you don''t have on a wedding at all, anyway. NOT that this is your situation, but just to give you an idea of my personal priorities.)

However, I''m REALLY conservative with money, though, and I''m also not that sentimental about objects, so I''d have no problem getting the matching Ritani later on when I had the cash.

Figure out what you guys really NEED, purchase that first, and then get your ring.

I don''t understand the whole "if you don''t get it now you''ll never get it" sentiment. You have control over your future purchases, you can always plan on getting it later.

Your aunt''s ring sounds gorgeous, by the way, I''d love to see it!

 

[basil]

Date: 12/2/2007 10:10:49 PM
Author: Haven
I''m in the minority here, but if your FI really needs a new car there is no way I could suggest buying the Ritani ring over the new car. Does he need the new car to get to work and be safe on the road? If so, I have to say put the money in the car. (I''m also of the camp that thinks it''s crazy to spend money you don''t have on a wedding at all, anyway. NOT that this is your situation, but just to give you an idea of my personal priorities.)

However, I''m REALLY conservative with money, though, and I''m also not that sentimental about objects, so I''d have no problem getting the matching Ritani later on when I had the cash.

Figure out what you guys really NEED, purchase that first, and then get your ring.

I don''t understand the whole ''if you don''t get it now you''ll never get it'' sentiment. You have control over your future purchases, you can always plan on getting it later.

Your aunt''s ring sounds gorgeous, by the way, I''d love to see it!

Fiance walks to work so the new car can be put off. He pretty much only uses it to go grocery shopping and to pick me up at the airport. But new car was originally put off because of my engagement ring over a year ago, so I guess my guilt stems from that as well.

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/2/2007 10:25:48 PM
Author: basil

Date: 12/2/2007 10:10:49 PM

Author: Haven

I''m in the minority here, but if your FI really needs a new car there is no way I could suggest buying the Ritani ring over the new car. Does he need the new car to get to work and be safe on the road? If so, I have to say put the money in the car. (I''m also of the camp that thinks it''s crazy to spend money you don''t have on a wedding at all, anyway. NOT that this is your situation, but just to give you an idea of my personal priorities.)


However, I''m REALLY conservative with money, though, and I''m also not that sentimental about objects, so I''d have no problem getting the matching Ritani later on when I had the cash.


Figure out what you guys really NEED, purchase that first, and then get your ring.


I don''t understand the whole ''if you don''t get it now you''ll never get it'' sentiment. You have control over your future purchases, you can always plan on getting it later.


Your aunt''s ring sounds gorgeous, by the way, I''d love to see it!

Fiance walks to work so the new car can be put off. He pretty much only uses it to go grocery shopping and to pick me up at the airport. But new car was originally put off because of my engagement ring over a year ago, so I guess my guilt stems from that as well.

WELL, in that case--go for the ring, girl! And post pictures! (I LOVE your ring, by the way, it''s beautiful.)

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 12/2/2007 10:10:49 PM
Author: Haven

I don''t understand the whole ''if you don''t get it now you''ll never get it'' sentiment. You have control over your future purchases, you can always plan on getting it later.

Let me explain it.

Throughout life, money is usually a consideration. There will likely ALWAYS be something more financially pressing than spending $2k to upgrade a wedding ring. The ''need'' for a luxury wedding ring lessens because ''hey, I do already have a ring." That''s common rationale, so it follows that most people don''t end up following through and therefore never get it.

I think you''re missing part of the point. Of course people have control over future purchases, but getting it later doesn''t make it ''the ring he put on my finger on our wedding day.'' It''s more of a *material thing* after the fact and less of a *sentimental symbol*. Sure, she could always get a Ritani band after the fact, but it will never be ''the ring he put on my finger''. Because of that, it''ll be harder to let go of the ring she married with, and that too will contribute to the ''she''ll never get it'' part of the sentiment.

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 12/2/2007 5:39:48 PM
Author: aljdewey

Buy the Ritani band now.

It seems to me that you DO want the Ritani band (you''d choose it if money weren''t an issue, and if you don''t choose it now you''d have plans to get it later).

There will always been a ''more prudent'' choice, but life isn''t about being prudent all the time. This isn''t any old piece of jewelry; it''s your wedding band....something that you''ll hopefully wear for decades. Get the one you want; don''t have regrets.

FI has told you to get what you''d really want, and I''d put a lot of stock in that. I''m sure he doesn''t want to have regrets later either (we didn''t buy the w/band she really wanted because I needed a car). I wouldn''t want to be in that position, and I''m sure he doesn''t either.

Sure, it''s a lot of money. It''s also a significant piece of jewelry. I''d want to look at the ring on my finger 30+ years from now and smile remembering my husband putting it on my finger all those years ago.

Brilliantly said. I agree 100%.

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 12/3/2007 12:23:43 AM
Author: aljdewey

Let me explain it.

Throughout life, money is usually a consideration. There will likely ALWAYS be something more financially pressing than spending $2k to upgrade a wedding ring. The ''need'' for a luxury wedding ring lessens because ''hey, I do already have a ring.'' That''s common rationale, so it follows that most people don''t end up following through and therefore never get it.

I think you''re missing part of the point. Of course people have control over future purchases, but getting it later doesn''t make it ''the ring he put on my finger on our wedding day.'' It''s more of a *material thing* after the fact and less of a *sentimental symbol*. Sure, she could always get a Ritani band after the fact, but it will never be ''the ring he put on my finger''. Because of that, it''ll be harder to let go of the ring she married with, and that too will contribute to the ''she''ll never get it'' part of the sentiment.

Aljdewey, you should get paid to say the genius things that you say...

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 12/3/2007 3:00:16 AM
Author: CrownJewel

Aljdewey, you should get paid to say the genius things that you say...

Awwwwwww.....*MAJOR blush* here. Very sweet of you to say, CJ.

Get paid, huh? Hmmmmmmmmm......maybe we should form the model. "AL-isms for a dollar!", we could call it!

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I''m just happy to be a part of the fabric here on PS, and if my perspective helps someone out, all the better. That''s the goal.

 

[msontaratta]

I have the ritani endless love with the halo for my engagement ring. I too had the same dilemma as you - going back and forth trying to rationalize spending 2000 for a wedding band. I also thought that other wedding bands looked nice with it - but truly nothing in comparison to the actual matching band. The ritani ring is so thin and delicate it truly looks best with the matching wedding band.

Needless to say - my husband did purchase me the matching band. And now that I''ve been married for three months I don''t regret it one bit. (and trust me I was hemming and hawing about it for months!)

It''s just the stress of the overall cost of a wedding and leading up to it - that is probably hindering your decision a tad. It is something that you will have for the rest of your life - I say go for it!

 

[msontaratta]

here''s a link to my post about my pro pictures. it''s my engagement band with the matching wedding band. i have others if you want. but here it is:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/finally-pro-pics-to-share.71915/

 

[FacetFire]

I know that the others have said it already, but I wanted to chime in and say that I agree...you should get the Ritani now so that it can be your wedding band.

 

[dani13]

Hi Basil!!

Definitely go for the Ritani. You wont regret it. The ring that your husband-to-be puts on your finger on your wedding day will most likely be the most sentimental piece of jewelry that you will ever own. That said, make that ring be exactly what you want, not something you settled for.