Weird request from Bride

[idreamofcushions]

I''m in my future sister-in-law''s wedding on June 20th (FI''s sister). She told me a while ago that if any of the 9 (yes, 9) bridesmaids wanted to get their hair done the day of, they would have to pay for it themselves. Totally understandable. I have absolutely no problem paying and will gladly do so. So I told her to go ahead and let the stylist know to add one more to her list.

Well, a little while after this, FSIL tells me the stylist decided to do all the BM''s hair for free as a wedding gift. Ok, sweet.

So last night I get a text from FSIL saying:

Hey! Do u think u will want to get your hair done for the wedding and if so what would u like?

To which I reply:

Yeah, I did want to get it done if it''s no problem. Maybe half up with loose curls? I dunno

So here''s where it gets weird. She says:

Ok awesome! She will just need you to pre curl ur hair and she will do everything else. Is that ok?

I say it is...but in reality it left me in bit of a funk. Now, I know the wedding is SO not about me, and it wouldn''t really matter if I was walking down the isle in rollers, but I kinda feel bummed about out. The reason is that I have really fine, straight hair that will not hold curls when I attempt it. It just ends up looking limp to the point where I''d rather not even bother. This was reason I wanted a stylist to work on it.

The only reason I''m thinking she would have me do this is maybe because there are so many other bridesmaids and she won''t have the time to do all of them?

So my question is, should I go somewhere else to get my hair done? FI thinks I would be missing out on some bonding moments, and I tend to agree. My other option is to possibly look at some how-to''s online and practice. Or maybe leave my hair straight. Can anyone give me tips or direct me to an online tutorial?

Any advise is welcome!

 

[Lanie]

I don''t have much to say about the situation, BUT when I had my hair curled for my boudoir shoot, she used a curling iron. She curled it, let it cool for a little bit, then sprayed it, and kind of smoothed out the hairspray around the curls (if that makes sense). I told her my hair doesn''t hold curl very well and she said the key is lots of spray on each curl. It will take you forever, but it will work. When she finished, I looked like Shirley Temple, but I shook it out a little and kind of combed through it a little with my fingers, and it looked awesome.

 

[idreamofcushions]

Good thing your hair settled! Although having a Shirley Temple hair do would totally work for a pin-up look

Do you happen to know which hairspray she used? I've tried a few different kinds that never seem to hold.

 

[fieryred33143]

Everyone is different but I know with me, if my hair is not working for me I feel ugly/miserable and it shows in my photos (this is for events, not every day life

). If you are the same way, then what I would do is get your hair done somewhere else and then meet the girls there. By the time you are done with your hair, there is no way this hairdresser will be done with all of the girls and you can still bond.

If you rather not do that, then maybe have your hair pre-curled the night before at another salon so that the next day it still has some form and the stylist can work with it that way.

If you rather not do the second option, then do as suggested. Use a curling iron to *curl strands of your hair, then loosely pull it up and hold it in place with pins. Apply some hairspray lightly and when you get to the salon, she can remove the pins and your hair will have its shape for styling.

 

[robbie3982]

I''d double check with her, but I think she might want you to have your hair set in rollers when you get there. I''ve heard of stylists asking people to do this to save time. I could be wrong though. If she actually wants you to curl your hair I think I''d go somewhere else.

 

[Porridge]

Hey IDOC! My roomate is asian with really fine, silky hair (that I am so jealous of

)

Anyway, she wanted her hair curled one night, so what we did was we washed it, put in some mousse while it was wet, and dried it. Then we used a curling iron and literally about two bottles of hairspray. We sprayed each curl liberally as soon as it was done. The curls were gorgeous if I do say so myself, and it lasted until the next day!

 

[meresal]

First, everyone has different reasons and circumstances for having a large bridal party. I think it is very nice of the bride to use her wedding present from the hairdresser, as a gift passed onto her 9 bridesmaids. It shows that she cares and that she is trying. I have a feeling this request didn't come from the bride, but from the hairdresser.

Second, if you aren't comfortable with curling your own hair, then I would take fiery's advice and have it done somewhere else and then meet up with the girls. What you want will most likely only take about 30 minutes. Just be honest with your FSIL. Tell her that you want to look great for her wedding, and it worries you to curl your own hair. You never know, maybe the hairdresser will offer to show up 15 minuts early to help you out.

 

[galvana]

Date: 6/11/2009 1:06:45 PM
Author: meresal
First, everyone has different reasons and circumstances for having a large bridal party. I think it is very nice of the bride to use her wedding present from the hairdresser, as a gift passed onto her 9 bridesmaids. It shows that she cares and that she is trying. I have a feeling this request didn''t come from the bride, but from the hairdresser.

Second, if you aren''t comfortable with curling your own hair, then I would take fiery''s advice and have it done somewhere else and then meet up with the girls. What you want will most likely only take about 30 minutes. Just be honest with your FSIL. Tell her that you want to look great for her wedding, and it worries you to curl your own hair. You never know, maybe the hairdresser will offer to show up 15 minuts early to help you out.

This is a tough one not knowing the bride, do you think this may stress/upset her or would she been cool with the great suggestion and offer to get curls done beforehand/?
if you think she''ll be fine - then do this -
but if you think she may be bothered in some way, then i would just wear it straight. and have the stylist do something with it so you can be w/ everyone.
OR better yet, get it done by someone else BEFORE everyone is meeting to do all 9 bridesmaids, that way you can still be "in" on the bonding time, but your hair will be done (as you want) before hand and you wont have to get some half a**ed job done by a poor stylist doing 9 girls and the bride!

does that help?

 

[Italiahaircolor]

If your FSIL''s stylist is doing the hair for free...it''s just the pinning--which takes like no time at all once you know what you''re doing. It the pre-styling that eats up so much time and energy.

If you don''t want to curl it yourself that''s perfectly reasonable...so, offer to pay full price for the full style with the arranged stylist or visit another stylist to have it professionally done.

You have options, that''s the important part!

 

[idreamofcushions]

Thanks for all your responses!

Fiery: That is exactly how I would feel. Plus I will be getting my monthly curse that weekend so I will be feeling especially hideous

I''ll have to consider getting my hair done before the girls get together.

Robbie, I never heard of a stylist requesting that but I guess it''s not so weird. I will definitely be sure to ask if she meant for me to put my hair in rollers

Thanks for the tips, Porridge! Perhaps I''ll try them tonight.

Hey, Mer. Don''t get me wrong. I''m definitely not criticizing her for having a large bridal party. She''s such a sweetie, I''m not surprised she has so many friends who love her (including me!) And that''s to say she has cut back from 13! It was incredibly generous of her to offer to have her stylist do our hair for free. And the pre-curls were the stylist''s suggestion. I have a feeling there just won''t be enough time to do a very complex hairdo for every girl (understandably). And you''re right, maybe I should just be honest with her and mention that I''ll get my hair done elsewhere before the other girls do theirs. She totally wouldn''t mind. She''s very laid back

iloveprincesscuts, I know for a fact she would not get upset. She''s a very sweet/chill person. I''m sure she wouldn''t mind if I got my hair done beforehand. But in the end, I may just practice and do it myself. Maybe I''ll pop back in with some pics of my experiment

 

[meresal]

If she wouln''t care then I would be upfront with her! Like Italia said, maybe she will let you pay a little for her to do the extra prep, or just have it done somewhere else. It''s lovely to hear that you all get along so well!

 

[emeraldlover1]

You have a lot of good advice so I will try not to say the same thing. I don''t think its a strange request and I''ve been asked that before. The second thing is that I have very long very straight hair and it rarley holds a curl. I was in a wedding last summer and wore my hair half up, half down and my hair was curlless before the ceremony ended and that was done by a stylist.

Anyway, the only way that I can get my hair to hold a curl is if I set it in pin curls for at least 2 hours before I take them out. My stylist showed me how to do them about a year ago and I''ve been doing them ever since. You could just go to a salon and ask them to curl and pin it for you so that it sets and then have your future sil''s stylist take them out and pin it up for you.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Why don''t you get your hair done at the SAME salon as the other girls, but pay for another stylist to do it... Say that you want to spend the morning with the bridal party, and you''re SO grateful that she passed along her ''free style'' wedding gift to all of you girls, but that you''re just not comfortable curling your own hair- you don''t want to mess it up... But that you''re willing to pay out of your own pocket to have another stylist curl your hair as the other girls are having their hair pinned.

 

[NakedFinger]

hey idoc! I have the same kind of hair. Very fine, pin straight hair that does NOT hold curls well. Also, I SUCK at doing hair, so every time I have tried curling my hair it doesnt work. So I totally get being less than thrilled at the notion of curling your own hair for this event.

She asked how you wanted it done, and then after you said half up with curls she asked you to pre-curl it. So basically, her hairdresser probably said "ask the girls how they want their hair done, and anyone who wants it curly, ask them to pre-curl it before coming".

So, if you dont want to curl it and are afraid it wont look good, but dont want to go to another salon, then why not just pick another updo that doesnt have curls? Like italia said, the curls are what take the longest, the pinning it up is the easy part. She is prob asking for pre-curls to save time, since she has so many to do. But if you come in their with an idea, or even better a photo, of a hairstyle that she wouldnt have to curl, she can slap it up fairly quickly.

I tend to do "non-curly" updos anyway, since my hair usually looses the girl within an hour without INSANE amounts of hairspray. So its either "helmet head" or no curls for me!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Honestly, I think it''s a time issue. I''m considering throwing my hair up in curlers on the day of to save time and effort and I''m the BRIDE! To me it would be a non-issue to do this if I were a BM, especially if the hair was being done on location as opposed to in a salon. If you really want to be pampered, then have your hair done elsewhere.