Well it''s official..(warning: small vent)

[SarahLovesJS]

Remember the whole "oh I love wedding planning" phase? yeah it''s over. I am officially fed up with wedding planning and dealing with family to do it. I am tired of spending money, budgeting money, being upset about money, worrying about money, and being annoyed and/or let down by people. That''s my vent of the day! What''s yours?

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Vent away, sister! Do you have the ability to take a planning hiatus??? Or just do the *fun* planning, not the stressful stuff?

I know, I know, easier said than done... I just hope that you can start loving it again. The happiest day of your life should be preceded by excitement and fun!

 

[kittybean]

A-M-E-N, Date Twin! I just want to be married to my amazing fiance and on our amazing honeymoon. I just want someone to do everything wedding-related for me at this point.

 

[Squirrly]

Date: 5/22/2009 12:38:13 AM
Author: kittybean
A-M-E-N, Date Twin! I just want to be married to my amazing fiance and on our amazing honeymoon. I just want someone to do everything wedding-related for me at this point.

lol i just asked my boy today if he know when/where/how long of a honeymoon the couple whose wedding we''re attending saturday is going to have. he was surprised i hadn''t asked the bride, and i tried to explain to him that she''s been just a little pre-occupied with all things leading up to honeymoon so i hadn''t really had a chance to ask.

sarah- i hope the planning becomes fun again for you, if not now, when you finally get to see the beautiful product you''re working so hard to put together. and hopefully you''ll get distracted from the stress at your shower and bachelorette party

 

[allycat0303]

I agree that the wedding planning fun ends pretty quickly. Unless you are one of those brides with a completely unlimited budget. And even then, I''m sure your busy trying to balance what you want with the wants of MOB, MIL, FIL etc.

 

[Dannielle]

Family and weddings do not mix!!!

EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION ON EVERYTHING!!!

I am so glad our wedding isn''t until the end of next year, I can do something then leave planning for two months then do something else- I don''t think I would be able to handle the stress of it any other way

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I hear you, I'm planning from out of town, and I am not at all familiar with my fiance's hometown! And he of course, is as proactive and useful as a sack of wet potatoes when it comes to wedding planning. Even though he's the one who wanted the wedding, and I'm the one who wanted to elope, I'm still somehow doing all the planning... I asked him what my guests might like about his city, and his answer : "Umm...the cemetary is kind of cool". Really honey? Really?

But I try to find fun in the little planning details that let me be creative. Like making cake toppers and stuff, the little crafty things that I get to do are still fun for me It's all the boring, logistical, who goes where and when stuff that's giving me a headache!

 

[ilovesparkles]

I haven''t even started the real phase of wedding planning and I''m already dreading it! Mostly the money part! Ugh. Invitations alone have made me crazy! Just the thought of paying $2+ per invite! It''s just paper! But I want it to look perfect and pretty at the same time

 

[laughwithme]

SarahLovesJS - when is your wedding again? I am sorry you''re feeling this way

I hope it passes!

I have not even been engaged for a month so am very much having a blast with the planning...but I know one of these days, the "fed up" feeling will hit.

I am curious of other brides - everyone keeps talking about how "everyone has an opinion" and they''re "tired of dealing with everyone" - when did this start to hit, i.e. how long before the wedding? Right now, all of our family/friends are being super nice about everything. My mom didn''t like some dresses I showed her, but everyone (even future MIL) keep saying, "it''s your wedding!" when I ask for opinions on stuff. I almost wish they had MORE of an opinion.

My vent of the day - I HATE allergies!!

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/22/2009 8:12:12 AM
Author: laughwithme

I am curious of other brides - everyone keeps talking about how ''everyone has an opinion'' and they''re ''tired of dealing with everyone'' - when did this start to hit, i.e. how long before the wedding? Right now, all of our family/friends are being super nice about everything. My mom didn''t like some dresses I showed her, but everyone (even future MIL) keep saying, ''it''s your wedding!'' when I ask for opinions on stuff. I almost wish they had MORE of an opinion.

It doesn''t always have to happen. Planning our wedding is one of the most joyous things I''ve ever done. I worked out the family issue by letting them make choices about things I didn''t care about: My mom picked our invites, my dad decided there wasn''t enough decoration at the ceremony site -- we were married in front of a fireplace filled with candles overlookng a golf course, I was good with it as is but didn''t care if he added stuff so the day before the wedding we went to Home Depot and purchased some outdoor plants to decorate with -- etc. My husband and I picked my dress together as his was the only opinion I wanted. It really can be fun the whole way though.

 

[princessplease]

One vote from me on your experience.
That''s how I''m feeling right now too!

 

[Liane]

Date: 5/22/2009 9:28:09 AM
Author: KimberlyH
I worked out the family issue by letting them make choices about things I didn''t care about: My mom picked our invites, my dad decided there wasn''t enough decoration at the ceremony site -- we were married in front of a fireplace filled with candles overlookng a golf course, I was good with it as is but didn''t care if he added stuff so the day before the wedding we went to Home Depot and purchased some outdoor plants to decorate with -- etc. My husband and I picked my dress together as his was the only opinion I wanted. It really can be fun the whole way though.

This is my plan too -- glad to hear it worked out for you!

I''m letting other people pick pretty much everything. Flowers? Sure. Invitations? Couldn''t care less, design whatever you like. Cake? As long as I get my chocolate mousse filling, the rest can be whatever.

I picked the photographer, my dress/jewelry, and the venue. Beyond that, anything goes. We were going to have random Pokemon figures playing Where''s Waldo in our wedding decor and one of my guinea pigs as the ringbearer (with a ring pillow tied to his back) -- those ideas got vetoed, but that gives you some idea of how seriously I''m taking this whole thing.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I personally love it when a bride gets to the "I can't take it anymore!" point. Not because I'm a b**** like that...but because it's real. Sure weddings are fun, but they are also a lot of work to put on! It's not realistic to think anyone can plan a single party for 6 months, a year, or even longer without losing momentum and feeling the strain...but it's also something you don't understand until you get to that point--and something you can't explain to newly engaged brides either. It's a right of passage.

I remember feeling that way about 3 months out. It was like we were hemmoraging money--and because it's all for "planning" there is very little immediate gratification...it's all going out on depo's and rentals and these aren't things you can actually put your hands on! You feel like "where did all my money go???". And, of course there is the worry....because so many of the big decisions are made early on, sometimes it's hard to "envision" it all tied up and good to go...it takes a lot of faith.

But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...your wedding day!!! And I can hands down promise you...it will all be very, very worth it! You'll be so happy, and excited and in love...you'll look around at a beautiful venue filled with wonderful things...and you'll be amazed at how well you did.

So, stay strong...only a bit longer....the pay out is gonna be worth the ride!

 

[Jen_91909]

I''m glad it''s not just me! Somewhere after the 5-6 month away mark things started to shift for me from "I love wedding planning, why do people complain" to "ok, I think I''m just ready for the day to be here already and all the planning to be DONE!"
For me, I think a lot of it is that the earlier planning was more of the "fun" stuff- getting my dress, finding the venue, picking out the bm dresses, photographer, flowers, etc... not that that can''t be stressful, but it was all reasonably smooth for me.

Now at the 4 month mark, it''s getting into a lot of little details and logistics. Worst of all though is when there is family disagreement... that is the one thing that stresses me out the most by far.

 

[Dreamgirl]

**big hugs** to you Sarah! Try to embrase what''s left of if because once its over, its over...

 

[tyty333]

Date: 5/22/2009 12:22:14 AM
Author:SarahLovesJS
Remember the whole ''oh I love wedding planning'' phase? yeah it''s over. I am officially fed up with wedding planning and dealing with family to do it. I am tired of spending money, budgeting money, being upset about money, worrying about money, and being annoyed and/or let down by people. That''s my vent of the day! What''s yours?

Elope! Worked for me!

 

[Diamond Confused]

I feel you. I have been stressing about the colors and I finally made my mind up. Once I picked the colors a felt a great deal of relief. Well I bought a swatch yesterday to show my sister, mom and FI. My mom said it was boring, my sister complained it didn''t go with her skin color and my FI said it looked to "prom" I wanted to punch all of them. I have had it with other people''s opinions (except FIs)
I got the best advice from the lady at the invitation store. She said that in the end only the dress and the photographer matter. She said that''s all that you really have left when it''s all over.

 

[FrekeChild]

I keep considering postponing buying the wedding bands and changing the date...because there is always the thought of eloping in the back of my head...

 

[musey]

It happens to the best of us

I think the vast majority of brides hit that wall at SOME point. I was lucky to make it all the way through without getting completely fed up.

 

[honey22]

My turn!

I manage to delete my whole freakin Itunes library the other week! And that meant all the little playlists I had begun for the wedding. Not to mention a whole heap of music I dropped in their from friends CDs etc, that I can''t easily get back. I am sooo annoyed. And no, I didn''t back them up to CD, cos my burner doesn''t work

And, this is my computer when I tried to recover and restore the system:

It just doesn''t care, it ate up all my files anyway

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hi everyone! Going to try to respond to everyone sorry if I miss someone!

@PPM - Yeah I''ve been trying to do things as you advised. Just relaxing to be honest. I made one of my big decisions. Long story short..I want an oil of my bridal portrait and don''t have the funds right now due to the other $6000 we''re putting out for various things (including moving so paying 2 rents at one time)..so I am going back in June, July, or August to get it as a late wedding present. It''s frustrating that I won''t be able to have it before the wedding..but I want it bad enough that I''ll wait so it''s worth it. Because after the cost of the picture/painting..also have to come up with the money for a frame.

Heh heh. Any dress issue news?

@Kittybean - How are things going date twin?! Almost there oh my God! Yeah seriously I am so done with this wedding stuff, lol.

@Squirrly - Totally makes sense. And thank you! I am hoping this is true! Heh..shower and bachelorette party. Well, not bachelorette party for me (which is fine since I don''t really want one). As for the shower..well I guess I am lucky to even get one. My Mom and Grandma are throwing a shower luncheon which I really appreciate. None of my extended family offered, or BMs (one I give her an excuse because she lives super far away), or FI''s family..and everyone else assumed someone was throwing one already. There''s my sob story on that one! Lol.

But I am thankful for my Mom and Grandma.

@Allycat - So true. If I had held strong to my guest list restrictions that would have cut hundreds of dollars down on the budget..but alas I didn''t. Sigh.

@Dannielle - I started planning January of 08..it sneaks up on you! Lol. Even if you don''t leave it for the last minute!

@MakingTheGrade - Lol that is hilarious about your FI.

I agree it''s nice to find some kind of relaxation in the fun details!

@ilovepsarkles - Isn''t it frustrating? It costs so much just for anything to look decent! I am not talented or patient enough to DIY everything..so it cost me an arm and a leg. Sigh.

@laughwithme - June 20..so under 30 days, ahhh!!!

Well my Mom and I did a lot of things together which worked out for me because we agree on a lot and she''s also my MOH. But other people (e.g. FI''s family) started injecting their feelings during BM dress choices and guest list drama.

Let''s just say..even if they weren''t outspoken they made their opinion very clear indirectly. And allergies suck!!

@princessplease - I hope things look up for you soon as well!

@Italiahaircolor - That is so true. I''ve always loved weddings and never thought I''d hit this stage, but I''ve seen so many ugly, ugly sides of people and I am definitely feeling like I bleed money now. You know what I mean. But you''re right..it really is real in so many ways at this point. And I can see the light..I see it!

@Jen_91909 - The details and logistics get so frustrating! And the disagreements, and even making the choices. Ahhh! Choosing a cake flavor can be fun..but sometimes even something like that gets overwhelming.

@Dreamgirl - Hey girl! How are you? **hugs** I am going to try to just take deep breaths and smile..smile..smile. Wish me luck!

@tyty333 - Man it would be tempting..but we''ve sunk $30k this point, lol. So it''s not an option.

@Diamond Confused - Oh my God. That would be enough to make me go

. But it is true that the dress and the photographer are two of the most important things! It''s great advice.

@FrekeChild - How are ya Freke? It''s soooo tempting after reading all the wedding woes around here, right?

@musey - Very lucky!!!

@Honey22 - Oh my God that sucks about the iTunes library!!

I''d be so mad at the computer. Can you get a portable harddrive? I know it''s another expense..but smaller ones are a bit cheaper now.