what are you doing about finances?

[basil]

Combining completely? Having your own accounts and a joint account? Or just separate accounts?

We have separate accounts now. Makes sense since we don''t live together. I think after we move in together and get married we''ll probably just combine everything into a joint account. I trust his spending (wish he''d spend more!) and he''s OK with what I spend. I just think it will make things simpler than always transferring money around or having "your bill" and "my bill". Curious as to what others are doing, though...

 

[robbie3982]

FI and I live together and as soon as we got engaged we put both names on all 3 of our accounts. We have one savings account and 2 checking accounts. We each technically have our own checking that we deposit our paychecks into and are responsible for keeping track of, but all of the money is ours as opposed to mine or his. Both checking accounts also regularly make deposits into the savings account. We each have certain bills that we''re responsible for paying for out of our checking and we discuss any big purchases ($50+) before they''re made.

FI is awful about balancing his check book. He never does it and he uses his debit card for EVERYTHING. I just can''t live like that. I need to know how much money is in the account at all times.

 

[anchor31]

We just moved in together and the system we have now, we will probably keep after we are married.

We have a joint chequing account for all spending related to the apartment, groceries, etc. (ie: everything that has to do with "us") and we each have a chequing and a savings account. Everything that has to do with my school, his car, that sort of thing goes from those private accounts. If we want to spoil ourselves, we also use our own money, not the shared one, that way the other can''t complain about it. If there''s enough money in the joint account for our bills and the savings accounts for our projects, it''s fine.

 

[Blenheim]

My husband has a checking account that his paycheck is deposited into. We''ve haven''t gotten around to making it joint but we''ve been viewing it as "our" money ever since we moved in together. He pays for basically everything out of this account -- mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, gas, dining out, movies, credit cards, etc.

My paycheck is divided between savings, house fund, and a little bit of spending money for me. It''s deposited into a different joint account, and then we transfer everything into a joint savings account except for what I''ll need for spending money when he isn''t around and whatever we need liquid for house things, like earnest money or paying an inspector.

I have another checking and another savings account that we just didn''t touch for a couple of years, and then we put all of that towards our down payment. I need to go ahead and close them.

This sounds a lot more complicated than it is. We like it because it forces us to save all but a couple hundred dollars of my paycheck. We also discuss spending and finances relatively regularly, so despite him DOING most of the spending, I don''t feel like he''s IN CHARGE of our finances. It''s a team effort. Also, we talk about any purchases over a certain dollar amount.

On another note, my parents recommended having at least two checking accounts with each person drawing money out of a different one. Then it''s easier to keep track of how much exactly is in the account, keeping you from accidentally overdrawing because you didn''t realize that your partner spend money.

 

[TWiNKfly]

My fiance and I discussed this, and we will have one account that we both have access to.
I am relucant to tell most people this because I think a lot of people think it is weird. But our savings plan is for us to try to live off his salary completely, then save all of mine. So the money from my salary is "ours" to save, and his salary is "ours" to spend.

I think we would talk about any big purchases. I hope our plan works, though! I trust him with money, and I think he trusts me (aside from my once-in-a-while splurge on clothing)

 

[sumbride]

We''re going to do a joint account soon for house and shared expenses like utilities and such... we''ve been sharing all that since we moved in but it''s been "hey, here''s a check for my half..." and we''re sick of that. We will think of all our money as OUR money, but I do like the idea of not taking money out of the same account since we both use debit cards... it could get too confusing. And I think we should both also have a discretionary account with a portion of our salaries so I don''t need to feel guilty for my pizza and pedicure nights with girlfriends and he can save up for his NFL tickets... but we haven''t quite sorted all that out just yet.

 

[neatfreak]

There was just a really long thread about this in the past few weeks.

We each have separate accounts, then we have a joint savings and checking too. We budgeted out how much it costs to run the household plus save, then figured out the appropriate percentages of our salaries (so both of us pay the same percent of our salary, but not the same dollar amount to make it fair), then that $ goes into our joint checking and savings. The rest is ours to spend as we please. We discuss any bigger purchases with the joint account, but don''t have a set $ amount.

 

[Gwyn]

My Fiance and I have a joint checking account. A majority of our money goes into that account. I also have my own personal checking, I have encouraged him to do the same but he is too lazy lol. I have about 100 a week deposited into that account from my paycheck and its just a little side money for when i want to treat him with something special, or gifts/xmas. I don''t want to be buying him a gift with "his" money so to speak.

Also, having a bit of personal funds is nice in case you want to treat yourself as well

I am all for joint accounts as long as you have a designated manager of the funds to ensure that you both are not spending all the money that is in there and bouncing the other persons purchases, or an agreed upon buffer amount to ensure that no autobills will go upaid, that sort of thing.

I work in finance so the money handling is pretty much up to me, which works out nice because he hates doing anything "mundane" like taking care of bills and paperwork. Also, it ensures all out bills get paid on time

We agreed that we will never let the joint account go below $5k (barring some emergency that we need the funds for) that way there is no way that we will even bounce anything. We notify the other person whenever we make a purchase that exceeds $200 and we discuss purchases over $500 first.

 

[Blenheim]

Gwyn -- The interest rate on our savings account is 4.5%, versus basically nothing on checking. I get uncomfortable with >$5k in checking if there''s no real reason for it because I just think of the money we could be earning in interest if we just moved it to the other account. We generally try to have enough money for the month in checking and very little extra for this reason, which means that we need to keep track of exactly how much is in each checking account.

Twinkfly -- that''s very close to what we''re doing, only you put it much more concisely!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/30/2007 11:26:54 PM
Author: Blenheim
Gwyn -- The interest rate on our savings account is 4.5%, versus basically nothing on checking. I get uncomfortable with >$5k in checking if there's no real reason for it because I just think of the money we could be earning in interest if we just moved it to the other account. We generally try to have enough money for the month in checking and very little extra for this reason, which means that we need to keep track of exactly how much is in each checking account.

I COMPLETELY agree with this statement! We have an ING savings account that is 4.5% AND we also have overdraft protection from our bank via a "line of credit" so that if we were to ever overdraft the account, it's covered and then we would just transfer some $ from our savings, pay a few pennies in interest, and we'd be good to go. This way, we can get the best of both worlds, no chance of overdrafting and the majority of our $ is gaining good interest instead of just sitting there.

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/30/2007 9:48:12 PM
Author: anchor31
We just moved in together and the system we have now, we will probably keep after we are married.


We have a joint chequing account for all spending related to the apartment, groceries, etc. (ie: everything that has to do with ''us'') and we each have a chequing and a savings account. Everything that has to do with my school, his car, that sort of thing goes from those private accounts. If we want to spoil ourselves, we also use our own money, not the shared one, that way the other can''t complain about it. If there''s enough money in the joint account for our bills and the savings accounts for our projects, it''s fine.

This is what we''re planning to do as soon as we get engaged. We both like having our own separate money as well to spend as we like.

 

[Pandora II]

This is one area FI and I differ on.

My parents had the one account which paid everything - and my mother (who was a stay-at-home mother) used to ask my dad for cash occasionally. I hated that and had him set her up her own account and pay her a mini-salary so that she had her "own" money for clothes, make-up etc and didn't have to account to him all the time. (She loves it!)

FI doesn't like the idea of joint accounts, so I have mine and he has his - he pays the bills, mortgage etc and I send a directdebit for my share every month. However groceries etc are done by whoever feels like shopping - and I am supposed to submit receipts! I'm crap at this and always forget - he doesn't!

FI has THE SPREADSHEET which details all his finances, ISA's, share schemes etc etc and every in and out is noted on it and I have a running debt with him. I'm one of these people who checks the statement every month and hooray if I'm in credit! I'm pretty good at not overspending and my credit cards are paid in full every month, I'm just not that into playing with money!

FI wants to continue this way after we are married. To be honest, it doesn't bother me, though I might let him sort out my savings and put them into ISA's or whatever you so to max. the profit. It does worry me a bit what might happen when we have kids and my income goes down - especially as we are currently 50/50 but he earns 2x my salary, but he's pretty fair and very generous so I presume it will all work out!

My father thinks it's most bizarre but my mother just says, well he is jewish - they're so good with money so I wouldn't worry!

What is she like

 

[repartee]

My FI and I had a little bit of a wrangle over this at the beginning. He wanted to combine everything into OURS. I was a little hesitant as money management is *not* my dad''s strong suit and I saw how that affected my mother and my family. I wanted to have one joint account and then our own separate accounts as we also tend to have somewhat different attitudes toward spending money. I kept telling it was for his own protection

.

He wanted everything to be joint. For us, it came down to trust. And frankly, what the heck did it mean that I had my own checking and savings accounts? If something happened to me and "my" money ran out, would I be kicked to the curb? I mean, why are we getting married? If we can''t communicate about our different habits, that, to me, is a bigger issue than whose name(s) are on the account.

We also have v. different attitudes about tracking finances. I probably do spend more on discretionary things, but I''m also really disciplined (some would say anal-retentive) about tracking my spending. I note pretty much everything. We now put everything we can on one joint credit card (with miles) and pay off the balance every month. We''re adding each other to all of our checking and savings accounts and shopping for a bank where we can consolidate everything, preferably with brokerage services as well. If anyone has recos, let me know! We try and discuss financial goals quarterly (can you tell I work in Finance?

) and adjust our behavior accordingly. Planning and paying for our wedding has been a very useful exercise in all this!

So far, it''s worked pretty well. I resist going to bloomie''s over lunch and he tries to remember what happened to his cash. Usual culprit - pizza. I think one thing that is going to be wrinkle in the future is what to do about property we own separately. That''s a whole other discussion...

10 days and counting...ACK!

Grace

 

[Gwyn]

Date: 5/30/2007 11:45:48 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/30/2007 11:26:54 PM
Author: Blenheim
Gwyn -- The interest rate on our savings account is 4.5%, versus basically nothing on checking. I get uncomfortable with >$5k in checking if there''s no real reason for it because I just think of the money we could be earning in interest if we just moved it to the other account. We generally try to have enough money for the month in checking and very little extra for this reason, which means that we need to keep track of exactly how much is in each checking account.

I COMPLETELY agree with this statement! We have an ING savings account that is 4.5% AND we also have overdraft protection from our bank via a ''line of credit'' so that if we were to ever overdraft the account, it''s covered and then we would just transfer some $ from our savings, pay a few pennies in interest, and we''d be good to go. This way, we can get the best of both worlds, no chance of overdrafting and the majority of our $ is gaining good interest instead of just sitting there.

My finace feels pretty strongly about having that "buffer" there. We do have a seperate savings account which holds (obviously) our savings. It was started with some lump sums we got from investments/inheritances but we only deposit into this once every few months when we have extra in our checking beyond what we need for that months bills/slush funding and the buffer).

I know we could technically get a little more back if we put in the extra few thousand but its not enough for me to take his security blanket from him

 

[diamondfan]

I do not earn my own money so we really do not have an option there, but money issues do create stress from time to time for us. I am a spender and like to buy new things all the time and hubby is not shy about spending, but thinks I am just completely frivolous and buy things that are a total waste and it can upset him sometimes. But mostly he is pretty tolerant and likes me to be happy, so it works. I do sometimes wish I had my own source of money but as a SAHM it is not possible...

 

[monarch64]

We still have separate accounts and one savings account we both contribute to after almost 4 years of marriage, it works for us!

 

[onedrop]

Although we addressed this issue before we got married, we have only slowly started to put things into place now. It took my husband a while to find a job here after his transcontinental move, so in the interim I held down the fort financially. Because of that it didn''t make sense to have separate accounts. Now that he is working we have one joint checking account which will go toward household bills and we each have our own accounts for personal spending. We decided that I am best with the bills so I''ll take care of that with online bill paying. We have one joint credit card and have decided to let each other know BEFORE we put anything on that card. So far so good, but we have agreed that the set-up might need tweaking as things change.

 

[gailrmv]

I always recommend having your own credit card (each of you) for 2 reasons - establish your own credit history,and also if your wallet is stolen, the other person has a working card while you wait for your card to be replaced. This happened to me this winter right before our vacation and if DH did not have his own card we would have had a very hard time paying for things on our trip!

 

[winternight]

My fiance and I will have one joint and two separate accounts. We will each keep the same amount of ''play'' spending money from our paychecks and deposit the rest in the joint account. He makes about 2x as much money as me, but he had no problem agreeing to this. I think it will keep us on equal footing. Also, since I''m in charge of investments - I do alot of work on that and hopefully my returns will make up for some of that 2x.

 

[labbielove]

we have lived together for one year
so far, still separate accounts.
it was my house and the mortgage comes out of my checking automatically, so he pays all of the other household bills (phone/internet, gas/electric, and groceries) until it reaches 1/2 of the mortgage payment amount, then we sort of "true it up" although we''re not really sticklers on that, and it really has been close to 50/50 all along.

it doesn''t make sense to change the mortgage payment since the house will remain in my name, and i am on a bi-weekly payment and get a preferred rate,etc.

once we are married we will probably have a joint account to save for big things we want to do- remodel kitchen, vacations,etc. also, we don''t make purchases of more than $500 without consulting first.

it works for us, but we are both in late 30''s/early 40''s

it may have been different if we were just starting out.

we did just join a fairly pricey (to me) gym as a couple, and it is coming out of FI''s checking account, so we will need to see-might make sense to have that come out of our joint account in the future.

 

[basil]

Interesting responses!

My parents have always been sharers...they have joint credit cards, joint bank accounts, no separate accounts, etc. But they got married right out of college, so I don''t think they ever developed their own financial identity.

Fiance and I are older than that, and we''ve both been on our own for a while. I''m sort of torn as to whether we should have separate accounts in addition to a joint account or not. I would feel comfortable sharing everything with him, since we discuss even most minor purchases anyway and we both have similar goals and tolerances about money. The drawback would be it would be harder to purchase a gift for him without him knowing! We have similar salaries and probably will continue to have similar salaries, so contributions aren''t necessarily an issue.

I''m surprised that no one else is going to totally combine finances though. I always figured that was the default, and those with separate accounts were the nontraditionalists

 

[amileegirl]

We kind of just fell into a routine. He makes considerably more money than I do and so he pays the mortgage, phone, electric, cable. I take care of the heat, majority of groceries, household items, various outside improvement items, and my student loan. We pay our own car bills and expenses. We've never make inquiries into each others accounts though we are always forthcoming when we are tight and I always let him know when my checks are going to be lean. We've never discussed joint accounts.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 5/31/2007 8:36:23 PM
Author: gailrmv
I always recommend having your own credit card (each of you) for 2 reasons - establish your own credit history,and also if your wallet is stolen, the other person has a working card while you wait for your card to be replaced. This happened to me this winter right before our vacation and if DH did not have his own card we would have had a very hard time paying for things on our trip!

This made me laugh because recently my mom lost her credit card, and when she called AmEx late that night to let them know, they had a courier service bring her a new one the very next morning, as she was a "very valued customer". She thought it was a bit embarrassing that AmEx was that desperate to ensure she was not without her card for more than 12 hours... haha.