What do you love to see at weddings?

[zoebartlett]

Sabine''s thread about what people hate about weddings and then Surfgirl''s response got me thinking. Surfgirl began mentioning things she liked about weddings, so I thought we could add to her list.

I agree with Surfgirl, I love jazz music at weddings, and we''re planning on having the DJ play jazz much of the time. We love artists like Frank SInatra, Michael Buble, Harry Connick, Jr., etc.

I also love when the ceremony is very personal and not cookie-cutterish.

I love seeing kids at weddings, and it''s always cute to watch them dance. I honestly don''t think I''ve been to a wedding with poorly-behaved children. I just love seeing kids having a great time at what could be seen as an adult affair.

It''s great to see the bride and groom together and so happy. This sounds obvious but I''ve been to quite a few weddings where they barely spent time together. Either the they were both hanging out with their own set of friends dancing for an extended period of time, or they were chatting individually with other guests.

I''m sure I''ll think of others.

 

[somethingshiny]

I love to see the father-daughter dance.
I love to hear a variety of music.
I love it when the bride and groom spend time together. It''s so sweet to see them snuggle, dance, kiss, etc.
I love the "dinging" the glass for the couple to kiss.
I love to see the little girls twirling on the dance floor. You just know they''re imagining their own wedding day.
I love to throw birdseed or blow bubbles for the bride and groom.

And, I love cake.

 

[kcoursolle]

Honestly, I don''t care about how fancy the venue is or how lovely or expensive the flowers and food were. I care about having a good meal, drinking a little, and being entertained and having a blast. This can mean that dinner is bbq style and keg beer or lobster...whatever. I just want to see people eating, drinking, and having a good time. I like to see people having fun at a wedding and the bride and groom enthusiastic rather than uptight. Beautiful flowers and venues are just icing on the cake. I love the corny stuff like slideshows, speeches, etc. They keep me entertained.

 

[Fancy605]

I love seeing my loved ones being in love!

See, for me I love a whole variety of different things at different weddings. Some things that are just so totally one couple would completely not suit another couple at all. I love most things as long as they suit the couple and aren''t gross/tacky. Like I said before, I wouldn''t necessarily pick certain things for my own wedding, but they work for other people.

 

[larussel03]

I love an entertainer(s) who play a wide variety of popular music from different genres so that everyone there gets to dance to music that they know and like at least at some point in the night.

I also love a good crowd! It''s something that you can''t control, but if you''ve got a crowd of generally energetic people, it''s bound to be a good time no matter what.

And I love cake.

 

[basil]

I love tasty food and good wine (sorry, I know I should expect people to provide this, but I do like it). Good catchy music and a lot of people and generations dancing. I like the opportunity to see people that I haven''t seen in a while, too.

 

[Haven]

I love to see little kids at weddings, they keep the celebration festive and they''re a great excuse to get family members on their feet who would otherwise stay off the dance floor.

I love seeing someone I love surrounded by their loved ones; it always makes me feel a literal swell in my chest to see so much joy surrounding a friend or family member.

Jazz bands.

A photo montage with photos of the couple as children, and of the guests at the wedding. (As opposed to a montage with ten minutes of pictures of the couple smooching!)

A great, heartfelt, improvised toast by anyone.

 

[Neveah]

BTW didn''t mean to copy your thread!!!!! Sorry, went to start it, took a phone call then when finished and posted saw yours!!! SORRY

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 11/18/2007 8:49:48 PM
Author: Neveah
BTW didn''t mean to copy your thread!!!!! Sorry, went to start it, took a phone call then when finished and posted saw yours!!! SORRY

Great minds think alike.

 

[ladyciel]

1) When the bride and groom are obviously enjoying themselves. That, above anything else, helps me enjoy a wedding!
2) The most recent wedding I attended had one feature that was very personalized for the bride, and for that reason we thought it was great. She''s known for her sweet tooth (yet she''s a twig!), and you could kill yourself with sugar overload at her reception if you wanted to! Cocktail hour was accompanied by a GIGANTIC cookie and sweets table, almost all of which was home-baked by their moms and grandmothers. Then, on top of that, for the favors, there were empty chinese take-out boxes at our seats to fill up to our hearts'' content at a candy bar they set up. They had a wide range of candy, all in glass jars with big metal scoops. Filling our boxes gave us something to do while we waiting for the bride and groom to be announced, and it also served as an ice breaker at the table, since everyone started comparing their favorite types of candy and laughing at how differently everyone filled their boxes. The emphasis I want to place, though, is that we loved this because it was obviously something chosen by the bride and groom, not cookie-cutter.

 

[LauraSLP07]

I love to see the typical bridal dances (father-daughter and mother-son)
I like the anniversary dance (one wedding I went to, the groom''s grandparents had been married for 59 years!)
I love the money dance....it is fun to get a chance to talk to the bride/groom 1:1
I like sit-down dinners more than buffets because you can visit more with the people at your table.
If people have a lot of single friends/cousins/etc, I love watching the bouquet and garter toss!

 

[Neveah]

This is so little, but I really thought it was smart and a great idea!
----When the bride and groom got ready to say their vows/exchange rings the minister stepped in front of them and turned to face the couple (the minister had his back facing the crowd) so that the bride and groom were facing us. We could see and hear everything since they were facing us. I thought this was great!

---- At the reception the tables were not numbered but named... for instance "The 104" and then on the back explained that was the name of the restaurant on their first date, and so on. Sweet and personal touch

-----The recieving line was in church, at the pews.... and the bride and groom (only) dismissed us by row. That way you could sit while you waited, no one took too long because there were people behind, and we didn''t have to meet MOB, MOG, bridal party, etc. that we didn''t know.

 

[Deelight]

I love to see people happy and enjoying themselves

I also love it when I see a waiter with champagne

 

[tberube]

thanks, Zoe, for making something positive out of that negative thread. It always stresses me out to no end all the "rules" I''ll have to follow to make my guests not put me on the "things I hated at this wedding" list later on. I feel like I''d have to spend twice my budget just to make half my guests happy....is it even worth it, I wonder?

But then I remember that if my guests are going to complain about my wedding after all the time and money and love and caring and preparing I put into it, then they are not my friends. That''s just going to have to be my mantra.

I personally don''t mind a cash bar...I don''t expect the bride and groom to dish out thousands so people can leave half empty drinks all over the cocktail tables.

I love the ceremony - the vows and the tears. That''s the real important part.
I love watching the bride''s dad or grandfather walk her down the aisle.
I love sipping wine at cocktail hours - it makes me feel classy and grown-up.

I love watching the bride and groom look at each other during the first dance.
I love buffets because you can choose what you want to eat that day rather than weeks earlier
I love pretty invitations and thank you notes.
I love different and interesting takes on decor and favors, even if it''s not "traditional."
Most of all:
I love getting invited to be a guest at someone''s most special day. It''s a compliment for me, and I''m grateful just to be there.

 

[surfgirl]

Oh zoe, I love that you're having the old jazz standards at your wedding! I love it! But that still doesn't absolve you of STILL NOT SHOWING US A PHOTO OF YOU IN YOUR DRESS!

Okay, I'm done now...

Oh, I love personal weddings. Where they're not trying so hard to impress people. I'd rather sit on a hay bale in a meadow, watching people get married, and go to a reception in a barn, then some fancy hotel shindig..

ETA: therube, I dont think it's a case of people who dont like something about your wedding aren't really your friends...I think it's more that people are intimating that a lot of the time, the wedding isn't even about the guests, it becomes something bizarre and gets out of control because the couple/bride is trying to acheive something, rather than just have an intimate wedding surrounded by those closest to them. I've been to weddings where I was asked to be a BM, then found out at the wedding I was only asked because the groom had too many friends he wanted to be GM on his side. THEN, at the same wedding, the brides two sisters and I were left to sit ALONE the entire reception, at the head table, in front of everybody, because the bride didn't seat all the MARRIED GMs wives at the head table, so the guys all got up and left the head table to sit with their wives. AND the bridal couple got up and sat elsewhere too. It was horribly uncomfortable - hey! look at the three unmarried people sitting alone at the head table! So yeah, neither I, nor her sisters appreciated that and we were offended. Is it our fault we were offended? I'd say it was bad manners on the bride's part. Just a different perspective for you to consider...

 

[tberube]

Surfgirl - I can understand the points you make, they make sense. But I get all tied up in knots over guests who don't seem to appreciate what the bride and groom have done for the wedding and to have them there. Things like "cash bars are tacky and cheap" and "what? no tiffany sterling silver favors?" and "there was no filet mingnon option". It's the sense of entitlement from wedding guests that kills me. Why can't people be gracious guests? That's all.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

I love it when the bride and groom incorporate wedding traditions from their culture into the ceremony.


Basil, I''ll second your love for tasty food and wine!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 11/19/2007 1:12:31 PM
Author: tberube
Surfgirl - I can understand the points you make, they make sense. But I get all tied up in knots over guests who don''t seem to appreciate what the bride and groom have done for the wedding and to have them there. Things like ''cash bars are tacky and cheap'' and ''what? no tiffany sterling silver favors?'' and ''there was no filet mingnon option''. It''s the sense of entitlement from wedding guests that kills me. Why can''t people be gracious guests? That''s all.

Agreed.

 

[surfgirl]

rube, I would agree with you on the favors thing. In fact I never even expect a favor at a wedding. I dont think it''s necessary, from a guest perspective, let alone a silver bauble! But the cash bar, I dont care for. I''d much prefer the couple offer just beer and wine, and/or one signature cocktail, if they cant afford a full bar. But in the end it gets back to what I think someone else said, it''s about having a wedding that you can afford, instead of one that you cant afford. If you can afford an open bar, terrific. But there have been plenty of brides here that didn''t want that expense and they had either beer/wine only, and/or a signature cocktail and I think that''s fine. I dont think you need to offer endless bar options, but then again, I''m not a drinker so I dont really care, either...

 

[rainbowtrout]

A beautifully decorated church/temple and a ceremony that has just enough pomp and circumstance while still being personal to the bride and groom. Well-done readings of religious texts from close friends, where the friend has a lovely voice (instead of poetry, just a personal preference). A real sense of the spiritual and "now they are married" part of the whole thing.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/19/2007 1:12:31 PM
Author: tberube
Surfgirl - I can understand the points you make, they make sense. But I get all tied up in knots over guests who don''t seem to appreciate what the bride and groom have done for the wedding and to have them there. Things like ''cash bars are tacky and cheap'' and ''what? no tiffany sterling silver favors?'' and ''there was no filet mingnon option''. It''s the sense of entitlement from wedding guests that kills me. Why can''t people be gracious guests? That''s all.

I think people just have different perspectives on things.

I would never have a cash bar - not because I think it''s tacky, but because I would feel it was the same as inviting people over for dinner and then asking them for $10 to pay for the wine I just served.

If you can''t afford to treat your wedding guests like you would treat your dinner party guests then you should either cut the guest list or compromise on another area.

That said, an open bar doesn''t have to be a full bar. I am serving prosecco, red and white wines and soft drinks. I would not expect my guests to complain that there was no beer or spirits as I think that is perfectly reasonable.

 

[anchor31]

I love it when things are pretty and simple. I like smaller weddings too, I don''t enjoy crowds too much. I like to see everyone having fun!

 

[rainbowtrout]

I don''t serve wine/beer at dinner parties, and I''m not having any at my wedding. It''s a brunch wedding, anyway, they don''t need the alcohol that early in the day!

(I''m not a teetotaler, I just strongly dislike drunk people, and the group tensions are such that ANY drunkenness would be Bad).

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/19/2007 1:12:31 PM
Author: tberube
Surfgirl - I can understand the points you make, they make sense. But I get all tied up in knots over guests who don''t seem to appreciate what the bride and groom have done for the wedding and to have them there. Things like ''cash bars are tacky and cheap'' and ''what? no tiffany sterling silver favors?'' and ''there was no filet mingnon option''. It''s the sense of entitlement from wedding guests that kills me. Why can''t people be gracious guests? That''s all.

Entitlement? I''ve never felt, as a wedding guest, that I was entitled to anything other than a ringside seat at (what should be) the lifelong commitment of two people. All I need to make my attendance a sweet memory in my mind is: a few tears from bride, groom, or parents; a touching moment or two between the couple; a tasty piece of cake; a refreshing cup of punch. Anything else, is just window dressing -- appreciated perhaps, but still just window dressing. I don''t think I''m so hard to please.

 

[Sabine]

Awe, yay, I''m glad Zoe started this thread. Honestly, when my colleague was sharing with me about her wedding experience, I got really freaked out when she said what she liked at the wedding because she said it in a way that made me feel like she would be disappointed if I didn''t then do it at my wedding. But these loves are much more general and less intimidating! When I started the "hate" thread I had no idea I would get such a voracious response! I have to say, even though I started the other thread, I think I like this one better!

I love slideshows of the couple at receptions, especially if they include pics of them as kiddos and from their entire relationship!

I also love when the toasts include funny stories from the lives of the bride and groom!

 

[Elmorton]

My favorite part of weddings is seeing everyone come together to support the bride and groom.

My MoH gave literally the weirdest toast at our wedding (it was something like a spirit rally, where she called out on people to shout out "WE SUPPORT THEM!" - bizarre, and at the time I was a tiny bit mortified, but at the same time, I knew that she wouldn''t be giving a traditional toast, and I knew that it was completely out of love), and thinking back on it, that idea was my favorite thing about our wedding and my favorite thing about weddings I''ve attended. I love seeing the happiness, love, and support that the guests have for the bride and groom.

It''s a joy to be at weddings where people SHOW their love for the bride and groom - the dad who never dances, but takes dancing lessons to whirl his daughter around on the dance floor, the friends who practice and practice and practice their readings, bridesmaids frantically re-tying the bride''s bouquet because they know that she wanted it a different way, the heartfelt toasts (even the bizarre ones), the smiles, the laughter, the hugs, the people who traveled a thousand miles just to be there, the sweet congratulations written in the guestbook...That''s the stuff that, for me, makes weddings special.

 

[tberube]

Date: 11/19/2007 4:14:51 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 11/19/2007 1:12:31 PM

Author: tberube

Entitlement? I''ve never felt, as a wedding guest, that I was entitled to anything other than a ringside seat at (what should be) the lifelong commitment of two people. All I need to make my attendance a sweet memory in my mind is: a few tears from bride, groom, or parents; a touching moment or two between the couple; a tasty piece of cake; a refreshing cup of punch. Anything else, is just window dressing -- appreciated perhaps, but still just window dressing. I don''t think I''m so hard to please.

No, Holly, you wouldn''t be hard to please. What''s your address? You free on 9/6/08?

 

[Clio]

I really do love all weddings, but I tend to prefer simple over elaborate. I like weddings that seem like the way the bride and groom would entertain in their normal lives, just on a somewhat larger scale.

Really, though, the thing love most is seeing everyone so happy. I admit it - I cry at weddings

.

 

[misysu2]

I gotta say, Zoe, that my parents just started taking ballroom dance lessons for my wedding, and I''m afraid they''re going to dance my pants off! hehe! It really did mean a lot to me to hear their plans to start lessons, though!

The one thing I love about weddings-- when they play "Love Shack" at the reception.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/19/2007 5:28:41 PM
Author: tberube

Date: 11/19/2007 4:14:51 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 11/19/2007 1:12:31 PM

Author: tberube

Entitlement? I''ve never felt, as a wedding guest, that I was entitled to anything other than a ringside seat at (what should be) the lifelong commitment of two people. All I need to make my attendance a sweet memory in my mind is: a few tears from bride, groom, or parents; a touching moment or two between the couple; a tasty piece of cake; a refreshing cup of punch. Anything else, is just window dressing -- appreciated perhaps, but still just window dressing. I don''t think I''m so hard to please.

No, Holly, you wouldn''t be hard to please. What''s your address? You free on 9/6/08?

I can be. I live in Texas -- are you close?