What is the CURE for this impatient feeling?!?!

[Hoping&Waiting]

Here I go:

I seriously am wondering what has gotten in to me lately!!! For some of you who have maybe seen the few posts, you know a little bit about my SO and I.

Short re-cap: We have been dating a little over three years. Have talked about marriage since month 1...we get closer and closer as days pass...just as most couples do. I will graduate college this may (10 MONTHS!!!) he is a civil engineer.

In the past we always thought we would get engaged my junior year....maybe beginning of senior year and then get married shortly after i graduate. We have always said we wouldnt wait because we know were the ones for each other...there is no reason for us to wait.

Anyway...as the years went on our older siblings started getting engaged and it became more clear that we should wait until they are more close to being married etc. Seniority plays its role in both of our families.

For the past year, close friends have gotten engaged and it has made me start to ask him when, where how. He is very open to talking about it until I start asking WHEN we will get engaged. He is adement (sp?) that i have NO IDEA when the proposal is coming. But..he has been very open to hearing my preferences on rings etc. especially lately. the last wedding in my family before mine is this december...my sister. my SO is next to be married in his family and so am I. So his willingness to talk about it and the time frame seems like it may be in the future?!?! Maybe within this year???

But...i dont know that for sure. So what in the heck do i do to get this thought out of my head?!?!?!? I seriously think about it every day! And I have HOBBIES...plus I have four jobs (typical college student) I am very busy. So obviously being busy isnt enough to keep me from thinking about it.

Then what is worse...is that not only can I not stop thinking about it...but also I start to be more crabby towards him and almost resentful...which is uncalled for. AWWWWW I just hate this waiting period.

Any suggestions? What have you all done to make the wait pass by more quickly??

 

[Stephanie]

If you find it, fill me in.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 8/7/2007 3:24:56 PM
Author: Stephanie
If you find it, fill me in.

Ditto.

I just try and focus on how lucky I am to be in love.

 

[Miscka]

Thritto....

I try to think about the fact that I know one day I will look back and think it was fun and exciting. At least I hope I will! So I am trying to savor that excitement so when I am old and we have been married 50 years I will look back and appreciate it.

 

[janinegirly]

there is really no cure for an overdue LIW, except a proposal already! as long as he knows you''re past the "fun" waiting stage, then there''s not much you can do except attempt to distract yourself by throwing yourself into work, plannign vacations, hanging out with g-friends. i wasn''t too good at distracting myself, but it''s the only temporary solution!

sounds like it''s around the corner, so take some solace in that. at least you''re not so in the dark that you dont'' know if it''ll happen or not!

 

[bee*]

I find that looking at wedding things helps me stop being so impatient-I could probably plan my whole wedding in a day at this stage as I know exactly what I''d like!! Hope he does it soon!!

 

[Sha]

The ''cure'' for the impatient feeling is getting the ring! I''ve heard it works every time.

 

[Sassee]

Ha ha - if there was an answer, I don''t think there would be a need for this forum!!

Having said that, I completely understand the collective LIW pain.

I have been told that my ring is finished. I have been told that a proposal will occur "sooner than I think" but that I am not to stress about it. Easier said than done. It has taken just shy of 3 months to have the ring made (ridiculous I know but apparently sourcing baguette diamonds for a band can take awhile). I have been going out of my mind waiting, and in the meantime, 2 of my close friends from secondary school (high school) and university have got engaged!! My honest reaction both times has been to feel SO JEALOUS and have a good whinge about why it hasn''t been my turn. Not exactly the sign of a level headed, mature 26 year old who knows that a proposal is coming, but, unfortunately that is what a lot of being a LIW reduces you too! A complete and utter mess!!

I tend to agree with Sha and Janinegirly that probably the only "cure" is to actually receive a proposal and a ring!!

Having said that, we are looking at venues and contemplating guest lists at the moment (not just me but the soon-to-be-fiance) so I agree with bee* that getting stuck into the details of the wedding (with or without partner, LOL) might relieve some of the tension. Maybe browsing the net for pretty wedding gowns and reception venues might work!!

Lets hope they find a cure soon!!

 

[Haven]

There is no cure! That''s why were all here together as Ladies in Waiting!

That being said, you have so much going on in your life and that''s probably the best way to stave off the nagging "WHEN IS IT GOING TO HAPPEN" feeling. Think about this: at least you know that by the time all your friends start getting married in their late twenties you won''t have to sit in each ceremony daydreaming about when it will be you and your BF! I swear, once I hit 24 it was like I began a wedding marathon, and 24 is young where I live!

I found that browsing through the Engagement Ring Eye Candy folder in SMTR was a great way to focus on drool-worthy rings. I still go back and browse when I need a little distraction.

I know it''s easy to get resentful and impatient, but then you''re just giving your BF excuses to NOT want to marry you! Try to enjoy every single moment you have together since you can be secure knowing that a proposal is coming. (I know, easier said than done!)

 

[monarch64]

If I had it to do all over again, I would''ve written down my thoughts and feelings in a journal or something, so I could remember now and forever, and share with my future children, what it was to feel like I was SO much in love and wanted nothing more than to marry the man of my dreams. Capture your thoughts and feelings, live each day like it''s your last (I know, this is super sappy, but super sappy does have a place in life, lol), so you can really remember those feelings and thoughts later in life and share them with your future loved ones. That''s the only medicine/remedy I know of, because I think it''s been long established that ther is no cure for these feelings besides getting engaged and married!!!

Remember the Wizard of Oz? Yup, there''s no place like home. A heart...sure a plastic clock thingie will do. A brain...yup, a diploma will make it alright. Courage? Only a medal of honor would''ve done. A home????? Home is where the heart is, and there ain''t no cure for it besides spending the rest of your life with your own personal #1.

 

[Hoping&Waiting]

WOW!!!

You all have very excellent points!!! Truth: the only cure is that magnificant purposal we all dream of...and well the rock to go along with it is an added bonus! Until then I will indulge in the planning of my sister and sister-in-law''s weddings....and dream of that someday being me

Something that has been helpful this week...I have started sharing my ideas and anxious feelings with my mom, and although deep down she is just hoping I wait until the eldest sister is married in December...she is enjoying dreaming of it with me Its sometimes hard to share with friends for an endless list of reasons...so moms are fun to share with

I really like the journal idea...Im strongly thinking about that! in a way...this forum is like a journal! Reading everybody elses frustrations and their exciting engagement stories, it adds relief!

Another good point...I am young, so when it does happen, in the future when this wedding marathon continues...I will be happily married HOPEFULLY!

Thanks for all of the advice!!!

 

[Miscka]

I am doing the journal thing! I just bought one over the weekend for exactly what Monarch was saying...I know that I will be glad to have a record of it. Also, H&W I felt a huge relief when I shared my feelings with my dad. For some reason, it was easier to talk to him about it than my mom, even though we are really close. Dad is pretty oblivious to those things, so I liked that he wasnt starting plan or anything. Just happy for me and sorry it was making me anxious.

 

[Delster]

Oh when you find THE CURE pleeeeeease let me know!

I''m hopeless with journalling. I''ve tried before and never seem to keep it up and always end up feeling guilty about it then. And I don''t feel like I can make wedding arrangements without any notion of when BF might be able to propose, never mind when we might get married! I''m snookered!

Pricescope is my release valve, although sometimes I think it might only serve to fuel the fire so when I get antsy I take a mini break for a bit and then come back

 

[DMBsGirl]

cure for the impatient feeling??? hmmm....amnesia? other than that, i don''t think anything besides getting proposed to can REALLY take it away. You can distract yourself by coming here and lliving vicariously through others (that''s my coping mechanism!)