What "just talking" can do

[Ananda]

Hi, I posted below that I had been considering setting a time limit in my mind and bolting if my boyfriend hadn''t proposed by then. He''s been hesitatant for many reasons -- some illogical, some not. (Ok, I''ll say it: The first 6 months -- year of our relationship, I practically needed a sledgehammer to break through the wall to get a peek at the inside.)
Thanks probably in part to the responses I got in here, I talked to him this past weekend. I asked him when his timeline was to sell his house (he''s planning on selling it and moving into mine...but I had told him marriage is part of a living-together deal with me). We talked about our timeline regarding making a final decision re: staying at my house or purchasing a different house for us. And finally I just blurted out, "So, what do you think of getting married?" (Damn it? Did I propose! Hey! It''s not supposed to work that way! hahahaha)
He said, "I think it''s a great idea! I have been waiting to ask you because I want to have my finances together [he had a big blow last year that he''s still recovering from]. That''s just how I am -- I want to be more stable."
oh.
The skeptic in me says to myself: hmmm. Here''s another reason to wait.
But I do feel he''s sincere.
It''s good to talk.

 

[robbie3982]

Ananda,

That''s great that you guys talked about it and are on the same page! I don''t think that counts as a proposal and I think it''s sweet that he wants to be more stable before getting married. Sounds like maybe you''re in a better place financially than he is right now and he doesn''t want it to seem like he needs you to support him. My ff is very adament about being able to support me and take care of my properly before he proposes even though I''ve told him a million times that it''s not going to be like that.

Don''t look at it as another reason to wait, look at it as motivation for him to get everything back on track! Maybe things will happen a bit faster now that he knows that you want to get married. Maybe he''ll even realize that you don''t care if his finances are all fixed before he proposes and he''ll do it sooner. You never know

 

[IrishAngel7982]

Sounds like things are looking good! Way to step up girl!