What kind of groom is he?

[anchor31]

I saw this poll question on the knot and I thought it''d be fun if we shared about what kind of groom our man is!

My FI has really surprised me and continues to do so constantly. After he''d told me he "didn''t really care about the colours as long as it wasn''t pink", I expected him to be like most grooms I''ve heard of and not be so much involved. It turns out he''s not this way at all.

He had a dream wedding. Our two dream weddings completely clashed, so we took a little of both our ideas to make this our dream wedding. He did give me an opinion about the colours I picked after all, and he loves them...

He''s okay with getting married in my small parish church, even if it is pink!

He had brilliant reception venue ideas I hadn''t even thought about. I was stunned. He has ideas and opinions about everything; he''s involved, creative, interested and open-minded. He talks about the wedding planning even more than I do! And the smile he had on the 20th when he realised our wedding was exactly two years away... It could have lit up the sun. It''s obvious the everyone that he''s very excited about us getting married, and it''s an incredible feeling! Planning a wedding with this man is the most amazing and exciting thing... I keep discovering new things about him and falling in love with him a little more every day.

Of course, some things are not so perfect... He''s absolutely clueless about etiquette and protocole, which can lead to pretty horrifying discussions... For example, his mother apparently suggested that since we don''t have a lot of money to spend on the wedding (she has no idea of our wedding budget, so we obviously have more than she thinks we do!), we should ask our guests to pay for themselves so we wouldn''t have to limit ourselves to 50-60 guests!

When he said he thought it was something to consider, and stared at him with my mouth open for a second, then whispered furiously (we were in a restaurant): "Are you KIDDING?! That has to be the tackiest, cheapest thing EVER!" Yikes! I also wish we''d take the pics before the ceremony, but he doesn''t want to see me before the ceremony and he won''t budge on that.

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 9/23/2006 2:20:32 PM
Author:anchor31

He has ideas and opinions about everything; he's involved, creative, interested and open-minded. He talks about the wedding planning even more than I do!

Aw...our fiance's have this in common! Before we were engaged we talked about the wedding and I knew that you had his opinions and all but he is so interested on all the details of our day. Some brides wouldn't like it if their groom was wanting to be so involved but I think it's so cute and shows that he cares about our special day. I personally wouldn't have it any other way. When we went to venues he had strong opinions on what he liked and didn't. He also is who suggested our colors (black/white) and I added the accent color. It's def been a joint effort. Some brides run their whole wedding and make all the decisions, but for our wedding we are making the decisions together. It has really been an amazing adventure for us so far and we still have a little more than 10 months before *I DO.* He even went to the Bridal Symposium last weekend with me even though I know he would have much rather been home watching football.

There were a few other grooms at the bridal show, but mostly brides with their Moms.

I also so the post on theknot about "how involved is FI."

 

[Tacori E-ring]

My DH was pretty much a show up groom (as in he just wanted to show up). He had never been to the venue until the day of the wedding.

He only went to one vender meeting with me (b/c I made him) and didn''t even register with me. There was a few times where he overheard me talking about the wedding with one of our moms and he would chime in his opinion. He did care about where we stayed on our wedding night and helped me write the ceremony/vows. He also did get into our first dance once we started taking lessons but besides that nothing really mattered to him. Just along for the ride I guess

 

[anchor31]

Date: 9/23/2006 3:51:33 PM
Author: RoseAngel04
Aw...our fiance''s have this in common! Before we were engaged we talked about the wedding and I knew that you had his opinions and all but he is so interested on all the details of our day. Some brides wouldn''t like it if there groom was wanting to be so involved but I think it''s so cute and shows that he cares about our special day. I personally wouldn''t have it any other way. When we went to venues he had strong opinions on what he liked and didn''t. He also is who suggested our colors (black/white) and I added the accent color. It''s def been a joint effort. Some brides run their whole wedding and make all the decisions, but for our wedding we are making the decisions together. It has really been an amazing adventure for us so far and we still have a little more than 10 months before *I DO.* He even went to the Bridal Symposium last weekend with me even though I know he would have much rather been home watching football.

There were a few other grooms at the bridal show, but mostly brides with their Moms.

I also so the post on theknot about ''how involved is FI.''

I don''t get that. Seems pretty selfish to me... As it''s going to be our marriage, I think it''s important that it''s our wedding! That said, it''s great that your FI is so involved too! It''s really exciting to be doing all this together as a future married couple.

Oooh, I really want to go at the bridal show in January... There are always one show in September and one in January here in Montreal, and I can''t wait! It''ll be great to get ideas and contacts and stuff. I''ll be planning most of my wedding during the summer so I can concentrate on school, and I can''t wait for that too!

 

[larussel03]

My fiance is sort of another show up groom but he's willing to help if asked. He is totally not into details, not into the wedding planning process, but if I ask him to do something wedding-related he does it without complaint and gets it done quickly. Which is great, I asked him to handle all talking to the church and ensuring that we are on the books for our date, and he took care of it. He also came to a couple venues with me and we made the decision on where to have the reception together, but I went to most of them with my mother. He also came with me to meet the dj which was good. So, actually he's been a bit more involved than I thought at first...

However, if I ask something like, do you like these colors or this vase for centerpieces, he'll look at me, laugh and go "I dont care" and he's not being brush-offish, he just really does not care about what the flowers look like. The only thing he's said regarding anything is "no pink" which is fine b/c it wasnt in my colors anyways. I'm sure he'd tell me if he hated a certain idea, but he's very easy to deal with and honest with opinions if I really make him look and try to understand why this vase is different from that vase (or wahtever), which really makes the wedding planning process easy for me!

 

[RoseAngel04]

Oh my goodness! Wow...my FI is def not the type to be the "show up groom." I suppose there's nothing wrong with that as long as the bride doesn't mind, but I'm glad J is wanting to be so involved. And I agree with you Anchor it is our wedding and I'm glad we are planning it together.

Oh and you'll find lots of great ideas at the bridal show in January. It can be a lot take in at times, but I think every bride show go to at least one bridal show. We got lots of good information on vendors and even won an engagement sitting + $30 towards an item. It's a $180 value w/ no obligation for them to be your wedding photographer. We remember really liking this companies work so hopefully our engagement photos will come out nice. We scheduled them for early November so it can cool down a bit here in Texas. Downtown will be our background...i'm excited!

Anyways....YAY for involved fiances!!!

 

[larussel03]

Date: 9/23/2006 5:15:18 PM
Author: RoseAngel04

Oh my goodness! Wow...my FI is def not the type to be the 'show up groom.' I suppose there's nothing wrong with that as long as the bride doesn't mind, but I'm glad J is wanting to be so involved. And I agree with you Anchor it is our wedding and I'm glad we are planning it together.

I actually like doing most of the work for the wedding, so his lack of enthusiasm in the detail department isnt at all upsetting to me, to be honest, just the fact that he is willing to do things if asked or offer an opinion if he sees it's important to me is enough b/c I know I can depend on him if I need his help. Plus my personality is such that I like doing the majority of the work for this...one may say it's a bit control-freakish of me.

I dont feel that it makes it more "my" wedding and less "our's," or that it is more selfish on either of our parts. He's more about being married than planning the party, I guess is what it boils down to, and I am as well (as we all are), but I do love planning parties! Besides the no pink, he also cared which church we were married in, since we both were baptized in that church by pure, odd coincidence.

It'd be hilarious though to see him, a pretty large, brawny, guy's guy, holding flowers and debating which red he thought would go with the burnt orange. hehe, I'd LOVE a pic of that!!

 

[robbie3982]

My FI is definitely involved. I''ve been really stressing about where we''re going to get married and I''ve seen him looking for places online a few times. Usually he won''t look at things on his own, but when I start looking at the knot or one of my wedding magazines, he''ll look with me and tell me what he likes and doesn''t like.

He''s the one who picked our colors. He knew before we even got engaged that he wanted them to be red and black. We''ll have white (well, probably more of an ivory) too. I like the idea of using red as more of an accent, but we''re still discussing this.

He doesn''t care too much about center pieces or table settings, but he will give his opinion about whether or not he likes something when asked.

He cares very much about the ceremony. He doesn''t want to write our own vows. We''re both very shy when it comes to talking about our feelings with other people (other than eachother), so we''ll be more comfortable saying something more generic infront of our guests. He definitely wants it to be religious even though we won''t be having it in a religious place.

I didn''t expect him to care so much about the details, but I love that he does. I really thought he would be a show up groom.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 9/23/2006 5:29:39 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

Date: 9/23/2006 5:15:18 PM

Author: RoseAngel04

Oh my goodness! Wow...my FI is def not the type to be the ''show up groom.'' I suppose there''s nothing wrong with that as long as the bride doesn''t mind, but I''m glad J is wanting to be so involved. And I agree with you Anchor it is our wedding and I''m glad we are planning it together.

I actually like doing most of the work for the wedding, so his lack of enthusiasm in the detail department isnt at all upsetting to me, to be honest, just the fact that he is willing to do things if asked or offer an opinion if he sees it''s important to me is enough b/c I know I can depend on him if I need his help. Plus my personality is such that I like doing the majority of the work for this...one may say it''s a bit control-freakish of me.

I dont feel that it makes it more ''my'' wedding and less ''our''s,'' or that it is more selfish on either of our parts. He''s more about being married than planning the party, I guess is what it boils down to, and I am as well (as we all are), but I do love planning parties! Besides the no pink, he also cared which church we were married in, since we both were baptized in that church by pure, odd coincidence.


It''d be hilarious though to see him, a pretty large, brawny, guy''s guy, holding flowers and debating which red he thought would go with the burnt orange. hehe, I''d LOVE a pic of that!!

I am sorry but I never looked at our wedding as a reflection of how our marriage would be

The wedding is just one day of your life. My DH never felt like it wasn''t his wedding because he didn''t make any real decisions and I never felt like it was only my wedding because I had. Like SweetPea it was still ours. He trusted me to make the right choices and I would have never wanted him to fake interest just to make me happy. He thought everything was perfect. I guess that is teamwork/partnership to us. I do the things I am good at and he does the things he is good at.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 9/23/2006 5:29:39 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

Date: 9/23/2006 5:15:18 PM
Author: RoseAngel04

Oh my goodness! Wow...my FI is def not the type to be the 'show up groom.' I suppose there's nothing wrong with that as long as the bride doesn't mind, but I'm glad J is wanting to be so involved. And I agree with you Anchor it is our wedding and I'm glad we are planning it together.

I actually like doing most of the work for the wedding, so his lack of enthusiasm in the detail department isnt at all upsetting to me, to be honest, just the fact that he is willing to do things if asked or offer an opinion if he sees it's important to me is enough b/c I know I can depend on him if I need his help. Plus my personality is such that I like doing the majority of the work for this...one may say it's a bit control-freakish of me.

I dont feel that it makes it more 'my' wedding and less 'our's,' or that it is more selfish on either of our parts. He's more about being married than planning the party, I guess is what it boils down to, and I am as well (as we all are), but I do love planning parties!

Sweetpea (and Tacori) I'm with you! My fiance is probably a little more involved than the average groom... he likes knowing what's going on, so I run most decisions by him first... but he could care less about the style of bridesmaid dresses or type of flowers... mostly he's just looking forward to a big, fun party with all of our friends and family there to celebrate our marriage!

But I think a lot of girls grow up envisioning their dream wedding, while most guys never think about it at all... which means a lot of brides have a 20+ year headstart when it comes to the planning! It just makes sense that we would take the lead when it comes to figuring out all the details.

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 9/23/2006 6:03:44 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

I am sorry but I never looked at our wedding as a reflection of how our marriage would be

The wedding is just one day of your life. My DH never felt like it wasn''t his wedding because he didn''t make any real decisions and I never felt like it was only my wedding because I had. Like SweetPea it was still ours. He trusted me to make the right choices and I would have never wanted him to fake interest just to make me happy. He thought everything was perfect. I guess that is teamwork/partnership to us. I do the things I am good at and he does the things he is good at.

There''s no reason to be sorry.

I''m not saying that the way one plans a wedding is a reflection of how the marriage will be. That''s great that you were OK and happy to do all the planning of your wedding w/o his input and that your DH trusted you to "run the show." I was just pointing out that I was happy that my FI is into planning our wedding together and not just letting me "run the show." It''s OK that you''re happy with how your planning went and that I''m glad my situation is different.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 9/23/2006 6:03:44 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

I am sorry but I never looked at our wedding as a reflection of how our marriage would be

The wedding is just one day of your life. My DH never felt like it wasn't his wedding because he didn't make any real decisions and I never felt like it was only my wedding because I had. Like SweetPea it was still ours. He trusted me to make the right choices and I would have never wanted him to fake interest just to make me happy. He thought everything was perfect. I guess that is teamwork/partnership to us. I do the things I am good at and he does the things he is good at.

I love this philosophy... I think it shows that your husband has a lot of trust and appreciation for your decisions... which shows a lot of respect for you... which to me is the very foundation of an equal partnership!

ETA - I'm also a firm believer that "too many cooks in the kitchen" can be a very real problem, especially when it comes to stressful things like event-planning... so having different strengths and interests is a good thing!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 9/23/2006 6:17:43 PM
Author: RoseAngel04

Date: 9/23/2006 6:03:44 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I am sorry but I never looked at our wedding as a reflection of how our marriage would be

The wedding is just one day of your life. My DH never felt like it wasn''t his wedding because he didn''t make any real decisions and I never felt like it was only my wedding because I had. Like SweetPea it was still ours. He trusted me to make the right choices and I would have never wanted him to fake interest just to make me happy. He thought everything was perfect. I guess that is teamwork/partnership to us. I do the things I am good at and he does the things he is good at.

There''s no reason to be sorry.

I''m not saying that the way one plans a wedding is a reflection of how the marriage will be. That''s great that you were OK and happy to do all the planning of your wedding w/o his input and that your DH trusted you to ''run the show.'' I was just pointing out that I was happy that my FI is into planning our wedding together and not just letting
me ''run the show.'' It''s OK that you''re happy with how your planning went and that I''m glad my situation is different.

Oh, I am not sorry how I planned our wedding. It is more than "OK." I am sorry that this will turn into a heated thread. Guess I should have been clearer.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 9/23/2006 6:26:39 PM
Author: ephemery1

Date: 9/23/2006 6:03:44 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I am sorry but I never looked at our wedding as a reflection of how our marriage would be

The wedding is just one day of your life. My DH never felt like it wasn''t his wedding because he didn''t make any real decisions and I never felt like it was only my wedding because I had. Like SweetPea it was still ours. He trusted me to make the right choices and I would have never wanted him to fake interest just to make me happy. He thought everything was perfect. I guess that is teamwork/partnership to us. I do the things I am good at and he does the things he is good at.

I love this philosophy... I think it shows that your husband has a lot of trust and appreciation for your decisions... which shows a lot of respect for you... which to me is the very foundation of an equal partnership!

Thank you!

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 9/23/2006 6:27:24 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Oh, I am not sorry how I planned our wedding. It is more than ''OK.'' I am sorry that this will turn into a heated thread. Guess I should have been clearer.

Lol...I knew you weren''t seriously saying "sorry" Tacori. I was being just as sarcastic as you were. And I hope this doesn''t turn into a heated thread bc it''s not that big of a deal. Just a matter of differing personal opinions.

 

[Kaleigh]

20 years ago when we got married, my husband was more of show up groom I guess. He didn''t care too much about flowers, but did care about the food and the music. He also went with me to register. Oh and the other thing he asked me not to do was pick a wedding dress with those huge pouffy sleeves. Hey it was the 80''s and I didn''t like them either.

All in all it worked for us and that''s what matters for anyone. How you work out what''s important, what''s not. He was helpful in some areas and indifferent in others. Kind of fun to look back at how things were then and are still kinda the same now. We are a good team.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 9/23/2006 6:28:29 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 9/23/2006 6:26:39 PM
Author: ephemery1

Date: 9/23/2006 6:03:44 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I am sorry but I never looked at our wedding as a reflection of how our marriage would be

The wedding is just one day of your life. My DH never felt like it wasn''t his wedding because he didn''t make any real decisions and I never felt like it was only my wedding because I had. Like SweetPea it was still ours. He trusted me to make the right choices and I would have never wanted him to fake interest just to make me happy. He thought everything was perfect. I guess that is teamwork/partnership to us. I do the things I am good at and he does the things he is good at.

I love this philosophy... I think it shows that your husband has a lot of trust and appreciation for your decisions... which shows a lot of respect for you... which to me is the very foundation of an equal partnership!

Thank you!

Agreed!

 

[galeteia]

*blink*

*sniff* Is that a preemptive pie baking I smell? I love pie, especially lemon...

Right, moving right along.

So far all of the wedding planning has been my gig, but that''s just a matter of our strengths. I''m the designer, so he leaves the ''design'' elements to me, but does make general input when I ask him. Luckily, we have complementary taste for the most part (no pink, no froo-froo, no dress that looks like a wedding cake) but we are still in the vague brainstorming stage. I did nix his suggestion of blue wedding colours because the only colour that looks good on BOTH my bridesmaids is red, and I was afraid of things becoming a little too ''red white and blue'', not to mention that I like homogenous colour themes anyway (like red, gold, and warm tones vs. blue, silver, and icy tones). His response to my sketch of my wedding dress was "That is the dress I would wear if I was a chick!".

My strength is details and artsy things, and his strength is the delicate handling of people. So when I get to the point where I''m about to offend people because I can''t think of a nice/tactful way to say something, he''ll step in with the silver tongue. He''s also the laid-back one, so he''ll be balancing things out.

Luckily, he''s a very frugal man and it''s his side of the family that will come in droves, so he gets to figure out how to politely cut down on the guest list.

Otherwise, he seems to take the approach that a wedding is a shortlived thing and is more concerned with the marriage than the party, to paraphrase the earlier post. He is enthusiastic about the marriage, if not about the wedding details.

 

[jesterjigger]

My fiance is sort of a cross. He''s talking to bands left and right. He''s looked at every photographer''s site that I send him (albeit, for five or ten minutes, not the twenty I spend on each). He picked the colors (and specified early on not pink) when we went to a bridal store together. He also went dress shopping with me and took pictures. He gives me his honest opinion on flowers and invitations. He is very interested in picking the food, too. Well, helping with. We get two entrees, two sides, and two salads, I told him I thought we should each pick one. I like that he gives me his honest input though, he doesn''t just say that''s nice, or that''s ok. I just wish he was like that when I stand in front of him asking if I look alright!

 

[sumbride]

Mine is... shy. He is very excited about the party but doesn''t want anyone to go out of their way for him...

My grandmother has decided she wants to have the engagement party at her house. She has hosted lots of big parties over the years and her place is the perfect set-up, but she wants to do a little bit of work on her house... mainly the bathrooms (plumbing) before the party. I told M this and he said "wow, that sure puts pressure on me!" and I was completely surprised by that. I said "well, you''ve already proposed, the pressure is off really... you''re not going to back out, are you?" to which he said "of course not" but I''m still confused by his comment. My parents are also trying to finish up their renovations by next year, but they''ve been working on them for a long time and just sort of put some of it off for a while. Having people over is sort of the catalyst to getting it done. They aren''t putting themselves out for us, they just feel they have a deadline now.

He''s very interested in the music, food, and general feel of the ceremony and reception, and the honeymoon is also holding his interest, but he doesn''t care about the flowers or the dresses. He told me he doesn''t want bubbles because he doesn''t like them and he got veto power over the color scheme, but he likes what I picked. He glanced at the photographer''s website, hasn''t seen the venue yet and won''t look at wedding bands yet. He went with me to register at BB&B but won''t look at the C&B registry I did online. I don''t know if he''ll care about the invitations or save the dates yet because we haven''t gotten that far into it, but he did glance at our webpage, even though I wrote his bio for him! (he approved it.) He''s excited about the rehearsal dinner (all you can eat catfish place on a bayou), excited about presents and about his bachelor week in Vegas and showing his friends a good time in Texas. When I brought home a chocolate dipped peanut butter chocolate cupcake the other day and mentioned this might be a good groom''s cake flavor he was thrilled.

It''s kind of nice not to have to run everything by him, but we''ve already discussed what I had "control" over and what he wanted to be involved in and I respect his wishes and he mine, plus we have similar taste for the most part so it''s not too much of a clash.

 

[anchor31]

My, I certainly didn''t want this to turn into a discussion about who has a better groom and who will have a happier marriage!!

I know there are all kinds of grooms out there and they probably all are somewhere in-between the just "show up" groom and the total planner groom. One is not "better" than the other... As long as the bride is okay with it. I expected mine to be more towards the "show up" than "planner" end, and I didn''t really mind. I was a surprise for me to see him get so involved!

I guess what I''m trying to say is that like in most situations, it depends on the couple, and to each his own.

Anyway, thanks for sharing! I love hearing about everyone''s wedding planning adventures!

 

[labbielove]

My guy started out claiming to be a show up groom, but as we''re going along in the planning I''m surprised at what he''s taken an interest in.
We started out he doing the what he''s good at (being a programmer he is in charge of tracking the guest list and seating arrangements)
And me doing what I''m good at, or at least better than he, which is the colors, the ceremony,etc.

One thing he really wants is a head table, or at least just for us. I never wanted one, worrying about the partners of the bridal party sitting on their own. So a compromise is that we''ll have a combination head/sweetheart table-
where it''s just the two of us, but we''re very visible to everyone. he claims it''s so everyone can see us, but i think he wants to feel like a "king" up there. LOL.

He will also be in charge of the music playlist for the DJ.
We''re both adamant about excellent photography and luckily like similar style so that will be a joint effort.
I am also more familiar with the etiquette side of things so the invitation addressing and stuff like that will come from me.

Oh, and he is totally in charge of the honeymoon. My only request was sand and surf, I''ll go anywhere!

 

[galeteia]

Just thought of this:

Save for the examples I gave above, most of his responses are a non-commital noise, shrug, or "idk" which makes me want to strangle him, but it does give me free rein with the sorts of things I like to putter with.

His only mule-ish request so far has been to state that regardless of what time of day the wedding will be, or what sort of reception we''ll have (tea, sit-down dinner, lunch, or evening dessert reception) there MUST be Buffalo wings.

Oh well. Luckily, we''ve already lived together and been paperwork married for a few years so my wedding night won''t be quite the letdown when he spends all night in the bathroom communing with his inner god of the forge.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 9/24/2006 11:12:00 AM
Author: anchor31
My, I certainly didn''t want this to turn into a discussion about who has a better groom and who will have a happier marriage!!

I think what sort of came off as a little offensive was the mention of "selfish." I agree it''s a to each his/her own thing, and I really do not think anyone meant to be "comparing" or "competing", (I mean c''mon, to each of us OUR FI is obvi. the best

!) but I think that word got the ball rolling.

I''m not trying to fuel any "fire" just wanted to explain why *I* think this got a teensy bit heated.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd moving on to the fun stuff that Anchor meant for this thread to be, I do enjoy reading what the FI''s are and are not into! Mine has this "No 80''s Music" policy, which makes me a little nervous, b/c even the DJ said it''s not a great idea to cut out a whole era. He and I will have to comprimise on that one though...I personally do not like 80s music at all, but others do, esp at parties, so I figure we can leave the favs (you know like Bon Jovi and that sorta stuff) but def cut things like "Electric Avenue" hahaha.

Our DJ made us give him 3 words to describe our dream reception, which were, for us, "classy, high-energy/fun and not hokey" haha.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 9/24/2006 11:55:04 AM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

I think what sort of came off as a little offensive was the mention of ''selfish.'' I agree it''s a to each his/her own thing, and I really do not think anyone meant to be ''comparing'' or ''competing'', (I mean c''mon, to each of us OUR FI is obvi. the best

!) but I think that word got the ball rolling.

I''m not trying to fuel any ''fire'' just wanted to explain why *I* think this got a teensy bit heated.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd moving on to the fun stuff that Anchor meant for this thread to be, I do enjoy reading what the FI''s are and are not into! Mine has this ''No 80''s Music'' policy, which makes me a little nervous, b/c even the DJ said it''s not a great idea to cut out a whole era. He and I will have to comprimise on that one though...I personally do not like 80s music at all, but others do, esp at parties, so I figure we can leave the favs (you know like Bon Jovi and that sorta stuff) but def cut things like ''Electric Avenue'' hahaha.

Our DJ made us give him 3 words to describe our dream reception, which were, for us, ''classy, high-energy/fun and not hokey'' haha.

Eek, sorry! I just had this vision of a bridezilla telling her FI after he gave an idea or an opinion "No! This is MY wedding and I take the decisions!!" when Rose mentioned brides who wouldn''t want their grooms to be involved at all. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 9/24/2006 1:01:58 PM
Author: anchor31

Eek, sorry! I just had this vision of a bridezilla telling her FI after he gave an idea or an opinion ''No! This is MY wedding and I take the decisions!!'' when Rose mentioned brides who wouldn''t want their grooms to be involved at all. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I think it was a misunderstanding as well....I was talking about a "bridezilla" who didn''t want to hear anyone''s opinions other than her own...not even her FI if he had any...

And even though my FI is very involved, I''m sure there will be some things that just aren''t his cup of tea. Like the flower centerpieces, I doubt he''ll really care about.

 

[TravelingGal]

I think we have the perfect blend. He''s interested in things if I ask. Hee hee.

Unless the two of you have very similar views, if you are both very actively involved and opinionated, then it can lead to lots of "discussions." If he isn''t involved at all, and you want him to be, then you have to sit down and have, uh..."discussions". We are trying to have "discussion" free wedding planning...but the word without quotes, is fine.

Our wedding planning has been too easy. I do the research and present him with options. He comes with me to check out anything that needs to be checked out and gives his input, which amazingly has been my opinion as well (btw, I hold off my opinions until he gives his...don''t wanna sway him!) But then again, I''m having a low key wedding on a public beach with a restaurant reception. With less than two weeks to go, I don''t know what my colors are or what kind of flowers I will have. My friends are on my case for not being bridezilla ENOUGH.

 

[nytemist]

He''s borderline "just show up". I''m full of ideas for decorating and for writing out the ceremony. I constantly ask "How about this? What do you think of that?" His answeres are usually, "yeah, sure", I don''t care", "whatever". I told him that this is OUR wedding, there should be input from you. I asked him directly "what do you want to do/have for the wedding?" He wants good music (I''m picking it for the iPod) and good slice of the wedding cake. That''s all he asks. Apparently I have free reign for everything else. I said ok, don''t be upset with the decorations or little Halloween touches around the room when you get there.

The past few weeks, whenever I have an idea for decor, I call or email my BM''s. No point in telling him and watching his eyes glaze over.

 

[rainbowtrout]

FI is on the edge of being the dreaded "veto groom." Very stong opinions in the negative direction but nooooo suggestions.

On the other hand, I have a feeling he will pull through with invitations, photography, stuff that interests him more than flowers. I finally just said "yanno, you don''t get a ton of say over my bouquet anyway, so I''ll just stop asking you."

I''m a little obsessive about the food and the cake, but we tend to agree on food so shouldn''t be an issue.

 

[codex57]

I was really involved, but I let her make the final decision for most things. Went to all the vendor meetings and made all the followup calls, but I let her pick what she wanted from them. I only piped up when she asked or if I objected to a choice that was being contemplated. Hey, I''m a guy. I really could care less what flowers are in the wedding or how to decorate things. If she''s happy, I''m happy. I was all over the honeymoon tho. That was my thing, altho I did keep it to beachy locations cuz I knew that''s what she preferred.