what should I do

[amyrock]

My hubby has recently bought me a diamond ring (1.35ct, H, VS1) from Tiffany. While it is very very beautiful and I am thrilled that he bought it for me, I can''t stop wonder if he paid too much for it ($16k) and could have gotten a bigger/better one for the same price else where. I am thinking about returning it but then I am afraid to hurt his feelings, and have him think of me as being to realistic/calculating. What should I do?

 

[widget]

I''d keep it and love it.

Sure, you could probably get a bigger, similar quality ring for the same $$$, but IMO the one you received has at least a couple thousand dollars worth of sentiment attached to it...apparently he thinks you deserve only "the best".

You have a beautiful, collectable treasure that will hold its monitary value better than its generic equivalent...

wear and enjoy!
widget

 

[ScubaDucky]

Hmmm... if it were an engagement ring, i''d probably feel differently. but, you said Husband right? Since you''re already married, I''d talk to him -- you both should have input when making such a large purchase... Of course, this is just my .02

 

[belle]

i agree with jadiejewel, if it is really bothering you i think you could find a gentle way to bring it up. communication is far more important in relationships than failed expectations.

 

[amyrock]

Thank you for all of the feedbacks. I am still kinda of undecided at this point, but time is running out as the 30 days is up in 5 days if I want to return it.

Does anyone know if Tiffany will let you return a ring after 30 days? Has anyone heard of a Broken Engagement Clause that allows return of e-ring within 6 months?

 

[belle]

i think 30days is very generous. the only way to know if they will accept a return after that is to ask them. i''ve not heard of that clause. why do you ask?

 

[Gonzodogg]

As a guy let me chime in and say please KEEP IT.

I have a feeling he knew that he was spending some extra money for that blue box and he did it anyway. It sent a message to you that he only wants to buy you the best. Yes, it''s true, you could probably get a 1.75 ct or so H VS1 from one of the online vendors for that same 16k but it wont be the one that he bought for you.

I agree that if this were an engagement ring there is no way you should even be considering it but since he is your husband, maybe - but still - as a guy who might have his feelings a little hurt if she wanted to return something that I picked out - keep it.

maybe drop hints for next time about where to buy diamonds

just my .02

Mike

 

[orbaya]

I say keep it. The ring was picked out by your husband with love.

Perhaps he had always wanted to get you a Tiffany diamond, and now was able to do it? Yeah, he could have gotten a bigger diamond for $16K, but 1.35 ain''t too shabby!

To me, the thought and love that went into picking out the diamond outweighs the size.

Let us know what you decide!

 

[amyrock]

The thing is that he does know where to buy diamonds (BBB for a Lazzar that is close to Tiffany''s, online vendors, whole sale vendors in the area) as we''ve been looking for a stone for a while now... He didn''t buy me a e-ring 3 years ago because we were broke after a house and a wedding, and didn''t want to carry more debt. Now things are better, this one serves e-ring/anniversary ring.

Thanks for all the sober feedbacks. I''ve decided to keep the ring. My hubby is sending me a message and I should just enjoy and cherish the ring. At the end, while a few thousand dollars is a lot of money, but it''s probably not worth hurting his good intentions. I''ll just cut expenses from something else

On a different note, after reading all the anti-Tiffany postings on this forum, I am very surprised that no one has suggested for me to return the ring due to the price mark-ups. That just makes me like this forum a lot more - while the people here have their opinions about where to get the best value for their money, when it comes to the emotional/sentimental part, people seem to agree on what is more important. Something I should remember next time when I fact this type of decision.

Thanks a lot guys.

 

[Rod]

First, congratulations on deciding to keep what is surely an astoundingly beautiful ring. While us guys oftan have fragile ego''s (regardless of who we''re buying a gift for), the only reason I could see returning the ring was becuase the quality was less than desired. You know, the diamond looked like frozen spit, or you could see huge honking black pieces of carbon. Since it is Tiffany, chances are it''s phenominal (you are going to post pictures arent'' you?)!

On the comment about anti-Tiffany. I haven''t been on this forum too long so I could be wrong, but I don''t think I''ve read any anti-Tiffany sentiments. I do think you''ve likely seen comments that you pay more to own a Tiffany piece. You do pay more to own a piece of the Tiffany name. It''s clear (at least to this non-expert) that Tiffany has beautiful jewelry. There''s a Tiffany in my town and as a guy who likes diamonds, I find myself often just wandering the cases in our Tiffany store, oogling the wonderful sparkles their cases hold. I''m sure it costs a LOT of money to run a Tiffany store. And like all ELITE brands, you pay more.

While a well cut diamond is a well cut diamond, regardless of where it was bought. I hope you will enjoy the diamond your husband bought you and tell people with pride that he loved you so much, he bought it at Tiffany''s, just because you''re worth it!

Wear it with pride Amyrock.

 

[Lynn B]

It seems as though your decision is already made, so please don''t let me sway you. But I am a size girl, and I am here to tell you that if it were me, I would SO much rather have a bigger stone than a blue box, and I would definitely return it (if it were an option) - and knowing my husband as I do, he would be totally fine with it. He would probably even laugh and roll his eyes and say he wasn''t surprised one bit!

I would never compromise on cut... but I am not big into labels, OR into the "sentimentality" of the actual diamond. Hey, I have already traded up once and would do so again if I could find a killer 3+ carat stone at a price I could afford.

Just my humble 2 cents!

 

[Hest88]

I''m glad you decided to keep it. The only way I think you could justify it is if you decided to return it and buy a cheaper but similiarly-sized ring so you can tell your DH you wanted to make sure you had a buffer for household expenses. (In fact, if you really can''t afford it, I might still suggest that option.) If he''s going to feel bad because you returned it, especially because he thought he was surprising you with the best there was, then it really isn''t worth it.

 

[BBF]

(Disclaimer: I'm a guy)

Keep it.

Right from the source (e.g. de Beers) diamonds are heavily marked up for the sentimental value (which de Beers created almost from scratch). A Tiffany markup is just another markup and it carries a sentimental value (prestige).

I don't know your husband, but I'm guessing that he doesn't think that a piece of clear stone is worth anywhere near 16K. I know that if I was shopping for myself I'd go for something that looks exactly the same (gasp, simulants, fracture-filled items, lab-created diamonds) but costs a lot less.

Is 0.40 carat difference and superior clarity worth more than the Tiffany prestige? Does it matter? This is what the ring really means: he thinks that you are that valuable to him that he would happily drop 16Kon a relative tiny piece of clear stone to see a smile on your face.

 

[Kaleigh]

I''m glad you decided to keep it, and I bet it''s gorgeous!!! Can we see some pics???

 

[decodelighted]

Hey Amyrock!

I''m glad you''re keeping the ring. I think the sentiment involved is WAY more valuable than a fractional increase of ct. weight or fractional reduction in cost.

Your wonderful husband thinks only the best is right for you! Who can argue with that! (That intention & acknowledgment of your value is PRICELESS and will serve you better in your life than ANY jewelry). It''s obvious you aren''t materialistic - as you were willing to wait for the ring in the first place. You''re just a smart shopper and are worried about the absolute best deal possible. (I hear ya!) But this (IMO) is just one of those cases where you should RELAX and enjoy the wonderful romantic gesture & awesome Tiffany diamond -- and not risk bruising the ego of your beloved husband in service of your practical streak!. Letting go of control is one of the most loving things to do sometimes. I have to remind myself of that CONSTANTLY. Also - the fact that rejecting/criticising/not wearing things that come from the sweeties in our lives can feel to them like rejection of their love/selves/man-package

.

 

[pebbles]

I too am glad you''re keeping it. My husband is stll mad at me for changing my original e-ring setting (even though I have one that is much nicer!) so if he went out and bought me a ring from Tiffany''s and I said I wanted to return it, chances are he would never buy me anything again!

We all know (as I bet he does) that you could have gotten something bigger/spent less for same quality. That''s not the point. He went out and picked out something that he thought you would love. To me that would mean more that what else I could have gotten for the same amount of money.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 1/11/2006 1:43:09 PM
Author: amyrock
The thing is that he does know where to buy diamonds (BBB for a Lazzar that is close to Tiffany's, online vendors, whole sale vendors in the area) as we've been looking for a stone for a while now...

Was he ever under the impression you would prefer a Tiffany ring? I guess i'd be a little confused if hubby and I were looking and he had a pretty good idea what I wanted size wise etc. and then he went out and bought a Tiffany ring unless he thought I wanted the little blue box. I am in the middle of upgrading my e-ring and have been very specific with hubby about what I want. If he went out and purchased something completely different than what we'd been talking about I would probably be a little frustrated that he didn't "listen" to me. You know your hubby and whether or not he'd be hurt if you returned it. I have no problem with paying for a brand if it's exactly what YOU want.

 

[princessv]

Well I would keep it if I were you

Who can say NO when presented with Tiffanys? hehe...Not me. Besides I completely agree with the sentimental value of the ring that your DH picked out and presented to you. I just hope you''ll share some pics with us!

 

[amyrock]

mrssalvo - I didn''t have too much preferences except that i know that I wanted a well cut ring that is around 1.5. We''ve gone to Tiffany before and both just really like the stone/setting that they have, but also are shocked by the price knowing that what they will cost elsewhere. I guess this time, he really made up his mind about this. Although it is smaller than 1.5, but it is no question very beautiful.

decodelighted - Thanks for the nice reminder. Yeah, loosen up is something I need to work on sometimes these days. We can affort this ring, and I am just always worrying and hesitating when making big purchases (I am still very much in my parents era, where you always save for a rainy day).

I will post pictures soon when I get to a camera.

 

[mrssalvo]

I think what you hubby did was very sweet and since you weren''t very specific he went and bought you what he thought was the best. I agree with the others to sit back and enjoy your wonderful gift.

 

[Lynn B]

Enjoy your new ring - I am sure it is a KNOCK-OUT! And pictures, pictures, please! We need pictures!!!

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 1/11/2006 1:43:09 PM
Author: amyrock
On a different note, after reading all the anti-Tiffany postings on this forum, I am very surprised that no one has suggested for me to return the ring due to the price mark-ups. That just makes me like this forum a lot more - while the people here have their opinions about where to get the best value for their money, when it comes to the emotional/sentimental part, people seem to agree on what is more important.

I think if it were a different situation - ie. someone telling us they want to buy from Tiffany''s and asking our opinion, many would probably suggest going with a different vendor to get a bigger stone for the same money. But this situation is different as he''s already bought it for you, and it seems he knew he could go elsewhere so he wanted to send a message by paying a premium for your ring. I would cherish it and love it. I''m sure it''s beautiful.

 

[AndyRosse]

I''m a late to your thread, but I''m glad you decided to keep it

.

Now that that is settled, WE NEED PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[amyrock]

Here it is. Don''t know if anyone can see it really... It''s taken by my phonecam, not very good.

I will take some better ones when I get off work.

 

[Rod]

Actually, we''ve gotten pretty good at seeing the beauty in "blurry" pictures. It looks beautiful on your hand and it should be a reminder of the love the two of you share and should bring a lifetime of happiness to you!

 

[Sundial]

Amyrock your new ring is gorgeous and something special from your husband to be cherished. I''m so glad you decided to keep it! I was in a very similar situation. Last year I wanted to upgrade to a new three stone ring with a 1.5 carat ideal cut center stone and had been researching diamonds on the internet. Then my husband surprises me with a Hearts on Fire three stone ring with a 1.25 carat ideal cut center stone. Now I know he paid a premium to buy HOF instead of purchasing from one of the pricescope vendors, but the ring is stunning and it meant so much that he chose it for me (with help from our local jeweler).

 

[decodelighted]

Ya know what? It''s AWESOME (you didn''t tell us about the eternity ring!!!) BTW, I think it looks like AT LEAST a 1.5ct stone so -- you get the absolute best of all possible worlds. Allow yourself to just purely ENJOY!!!

We all hear the message he''s sending you: "You''re the best!" Which probably means, you''re already letting him know he''s the best too.

LOVE FEST!

 

[icekid]

I''m w/ the keep it camp, and it sounds like you''ve decided to. Obviously you could go bigger, but this is THE RING your husband wanted you to have- tiffany premium and all! Love it and enjoy it, it looks gorgeous

 

[Kaleigh]

It''s gorgeous!!! Love it with the diamond band. Wear it in good health and enjoy it.

 

[moon river]

I would keep it. If after a few years you want to upgrade, maybe you could keep this ring (RHR?) because of the sentimentality.